Fathwa, - Married but liking another man

Question:
i am in need of serioushelp!!! i have been married for about 10 months
now. our marriage is good, and he is a good man, and ilove him with
all my heart. i do care for himmuch. though this maybe, i am really
liking another man! i do not know what is going on, at first i didn't,
but then after some thingsi started liking him. we have talked about
it because we both know what is going on. he knows i am married, (also
non-muslim) but he said he likes me and can't help his feelings. he
says he don't expectanything from me, andwouldn't step into anything
unless i will as well. he says- if all stays as is and nothinggoes
further and we choose to go seperate ways he will still think of me
because we still see each other from time to time considering our
work. astagfurlillah- i want to rid of my feelings for him, and rid of
all of this. but then it is like i do not want to rid of them. it is
like- i do not want to hurt myself and my islam and my husband and his
islam our marriagebut i want to indulge in this. not sex, me or him is
meaning- but talking to each other more. i know that what leads to sin
is sin, so if i would indulge merely in talking- this is helping the
situation not against it- and can lead to dangerous grounds. i do not
wantto be in dangerous grounds!!!!!! YA ALLAH-I do not want tobe in
dangerous grounds!!! but i am liking him soo much. i already know
anywho-that me and him would not work out cause he not even muslim.
but it seems for me in my liking him i am looking this over.
maybe he has more things than my husband that is havingme to be
attracted to him as this. sincere dua is needed but i feel distant
from Allah!Things r starting to cloud my head a little bit, although,
i do know what is right, and it is Allah who is keeping me strong.
what can i do?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May the peace and blessings of Allah showerupon our beloved Messenger,
his family, companions, and those who follow them.
Dear Sister,
I will not mince any words.
Stop talking to this man IMMEDIATELY if you care about Allah, your
Akhira, and your husband.
This is nothing but Satan trying to lead you astray.He vowed that he
would come at us from every direction. Didn't Allah Most High warn us
in the Qur'an of Satan's promise that, "'I will mislead them, and I
will create in them false desires; I will order them to slit the ears
of cattle, and to deface the (fair) nature created by Allah.' Whoever,
forsaking Allah, takes satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a
loss that is manifest. Satan makes them promises, and creates in them
false desires; but satan's promises are nothing butdeception. They
(his dupes) will have their dwelling in Hell, and from it they will
find no way of escape." [Al-Nisa, 4:119-121]
Allah Most High also warns us time and time again, "Verily Satan is an
enemy to you: so treat him as an enemy. He onlyinvites his adherents,
that they may become Companions of the Blazing Fire." [Fatir, 35:6]
Dear sister, please leave this man alone! Make it emphatically clear
that you will not talk to him any longer. You made a serious error
talking to him in the first place. Repent to Allah from this,seek
refuge in Allah fromSatan the accursed, and immerse yourself in
constant istighfar (seeking forgiveness) and dhikrullah (remembrance
of Allah.)
There is a reason why Islam places severe limitations on interactions
with the opposite sex. This is particularly important for married
people. Oncewe enter into this relationship before Allah Most High, we
are giving our word of honor that we will not violate the trust Allah
has given us inthe person of our spouse. Consider the impact this will
have on your marriage. Will your husband ever trust you again? Will he
ever love you again? Are you reallywilling to risk your marriage for a
foolish fantasy? These thoughts alone should deter you from pursuing
this illicit relationship any further.
You need to take all possible means to stay away from this man,
including stopping all contact, and even getting a transfer if needbe.
You also need to rekindleyour relationship with your husband. This
person has come between you two, just asSatan promises to come between
husband and wife. You need to consider why you fell in love with your
husband in the first place. Why did you choose him to beyour life
partner in your journey to Allah? Take every opportunity to connect
with your husband. All your energies should be devoted toward
nurturing your marriage.It's only 10 months old! Please give it a
chance.
I believe that with much earnest supplication and prayer, your heart
will incline toward your husband and all desire for this illicit
relationshipwill be removed, Allah willing.
I strongly urge you to seek the counsel of a qualified scholar who can
further advise you.
May Allah Most High bring you and your husband together for Hissake,
bless and protect you both, and keep you on the Straight Path.