The most important favour of Allah: His good pleasure

Allah has promised to believers, men and women, gardens under which
rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of
everlasting bliss. But the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of
Allah: that is the supreme felicity. (Surat at-Tawba: 72)
It is evident that paradise is a place containing all the joys man can
experience through his five senses. However, the superior quality of
paradise is thegood pleasure of Allah. For believers, attaining the
good pleasure of Allah becomes a major source of peace and joy in the
hereafter. Furthermore, seeing the favours of Allah and being grateful
to Allah for His benevolence makes them happy. In the Qur'an, the
believers in paradise are described as follows:
...Allah is well pleased with them and they withAllah. That is the
great salvation, (the fulfilmentof all desires). (Surat al-Ma'ida:
119)
What makes the favours of paradise so precious is the good pleasure of
Allah. The same types of favours may also exist in this world, yet if
the good pleasure of Allah is not involved, believers do not enjoy
these favours. This is a very important issue on which one needs to
ponder. What actually makes a favour precious is something beyond
thesavour and pleasure it gives. What really matters, is the fact that
Allah has bestowed that favour.
A believer who has the benefit of such a favour and is grateful to his
Creator derives his main pleasure from knowing that it is the
benevolence of Allah. The satisfaction can be found only from the fact
that Allah protects him, loves him and that his Creator shows His
Mercy to him. Therefore, one's heart only takes pleasure from
paradise. He is created to be a servant of Allah and therefore he
takes only pleasure from His benevolence.
In brief, paradise is a gift of Allah to His true servants and that is
why it is important to them. Since "they are (but) slaves raised to
honour,"(Surat al-Anbiya: 26) they attain eternal happiness and joy.
The words of the believers inparadise are "Blessed bethe name of your
Lord, full of Majesty, Bounty and Honour." (Surat ar-Rahman: 78)

Mockery is forbidden in the Qur’an

It's a sin and a depravity according to the Qur'an for a believer to
criticize a person's' defects withmockery. Mockery is a
characteristic of those who live in distance from religious moral
values and do not fear Allah as should be. Thesepeople resort to such
methods as caricature etc. When they want to criticize a person or an
event and thus exceed the limits of respect and courtesy by choosing a
language, which is not compatible with the Qur'anic moral values.
Whereas, a Muslim uses amethod of communication while criticizing a
manner which he finds not compatible with the Qur'anic moral values
and the Hadith, thus he expresses the falsity of the manner in
question according to the Qur'an and the Hadith of our Prophet (may
Allah bless him and grant him peace). Especially about the issues
concerning religion and holy values, he uses careful and mindful
tongue as a necessity of his deep love and respect for Allah. Allah
mentions in the Qur'an that ordering good and forbiddingevilis an
important sign of believers:
Those who repent, thosewho worship, those who praise, those who fast,
those who bow, those who prostrate,those who command theright, those
who forbid the wrong, those who preserve the limits of Allah: give
good news tothe believers. (Surat at-Tawba, 112)
Throughout the history, prophets and sincere believers were mocked,
and Allah imposed punishments on those who were in depravity against
believers:
Messengers before you were also mocked,but those who jeered were
engulfed by what they mocked. ( Surat al-An'am, 10)
Allah mentioned in the Qur'an that mockery is an indecent morality and
a sin and thus, believers should avoid such depravity. Moreover, Allah
informs believers in a verse in case they encounter an atmosphere
where there's mockery about the religious issues, they should leave or
they would be in the positionof those who do it:
It has been sent down toyou in the Book thatwhen you hear Allah's
Signs being rejected andmocked at by people, you must not sit with
them till they start talking of other things. If you do you are just
the same as them. Allah will gather all the hypocrites and unbelievers
into Hell. (Surat an-Nisa', 140)
Allah informs us the position of those who resort to mockery in some
other verses in the Qur'an.
You who believe! Do nottake as friends any ofthose given the Book
before you or the unbelievers who make amockery and a game outof your
believe. Fear [and respect] Allah if youare believers. (Surat
al-Ma'ida, 57)
... lest anyone should say, 'Alas for me for neglecting what Allah was
due, and beingone of the scoffers!' (Surat az-Zumar, 56)
When he does learn something of Our Signs, he makes a mockery of them.
Such people will have a humiliating punishment. (Surat al-Jathiyya, 9)

Story, - It is lying on my conscience

Hello,
I frequently read your stories and I decided I can write mine, too. I
willstart by saying that I had a great childhood, but from a certain
point I started seeing inappropriate people.
When I was 19, my mother told me that she and her husband are not my
real parents, that theyhave adopted me. I couldn't stand it, was it
because I was in puberty,I don't know. I told them I hate and despise
them and moved to live in another town.
I didn't endure long and after three months I wentback. I have met a
man… accidentally… we went for a coffee, talked for 3 hours, and I
left with himfor Varna. It was the mostamazing evening I've ever had…
but he was married. Nevertheless, our relationship lasted about two
years. I loved him very much, bud I hadno future with him… he was
married.
20 days before my birthday I realized that I was pregnant… false
pregnancy… I was in the forth month. He made meget rid of the baby. I
was afraid, how would I go there… lie there… and what is more, my
mother was working in the same hospital and everyone knew me. Christ,
if she finds out – she will kill me, but I don't give a damn.
I didn't think much of my mother, I don't know why... I just didn't
love them… I still don't, I only respect them, I don't know why.
Anyway, I did the abortion, and the above-mentioned man did not even
appear... did not even call to see how I was. I decided that all this
will have to end… but he didn't want to. He told me he loved me, thatI
was his thrill and so on. For the first time in my life I saw a crying
man, and it was over me. I am a good person, I care a lot for my
friends, if I have friends at all… but I respect them.
I have helped so many people… familiar and strangers. So when I broke
up with this man I met my best friend… She knows everything about me
and I know everything about her, but even for her, now I can hardly
say she is a friend… why is that so?
Because of her I was being forced to become aprostitute, I was raped
twice… they kidnapped me and what not. I have had lots of men… I am
not a beauty queen, but Iguess I attract men in some way. There was a
time in my life when I didn't care who I would go to bed with, only if
hewas a bit cute… that lasted for 3 years.
One day my life turned upside down. My friend had a small business… I
used to spend almost all my time with her… One day two men
approachedus… one of them smiling… it seemed he knew V~(my friend's
name). He looked at me and smiled. I only asked V~ who is he? She
didn't answer… they started talking… and suddenly hesaid – aren't you
going tointroduce me to this wonderful lady… he meant me. I pretended
not to be there… BecauseI hate arrogant men… so Iact inaccessible… we
were introduced, but I didn't even make eye contact. He said – look me
in the eyes, but I said:no, I only look a person in the eyes when I'm
lying:)))) Inaccessible… phew. And he was really handsome, with big
green eyes… amazing:))) He and V~ agreed to meet on the next day for
coffee… but he said… only if your friend comes along, otherwise no.
And… I had the feeling that… I don't know exactly what this feeling
was, but I couldn't wait to see him again. I didn't want V~ to find
out, so I didn't know what to do. She simply said: S~ (his name) likes
you very much. Yes, of course, we all know these things… just to get
you in his bed and then you suddenly stop being pretty… but still I
wanted to see him. Next day he called her and we decided to meet in a
coffee place. My feelings were mixed, I wanted to go and still, I
didn't. We went, of course, my curiosity to see what will happen took
over me. We met at the coffee place… and he started talking to me… I
was pretending that I'm not listening… until we drank 3 or 4
cocktails… That same night I slept with him… it was great… he left me
in front of my place and said: I need to go to Sofia to get some
documents in order and when I come back I will call you. But nothing
happened… a month passed, then a month and a half, he didn't show up
and I already missed him… I had the feeling that I knew this guy for
ages, that we have always been together, but I had no news from him
and knewnothing at all. One day V~called me and said that S~ called
his friends last night to ask for my phone number… they met me and I
gave it to them, you are not angry with me, are you? I told her no…
next day I was starting a new job and I had to get up early… I
switched on my phone and I received a text message: I had to leave for
England, I am sorry about that, if you want me to call you just text
me, kissing you. I was outof myself with happiness,I wanted to shout
as loudas I can. Of course I wanted to hear his voice,to find out why
things turned out that way… And so… A year of telephone love went by.
Iwas on the phone with him every other day for 2hours, one whole year.
And then came the moment when he was coming back for a while… He
wanted me to go to Sofia and meet him, he was in Bulgaria for 2 months
and it was the best summer I've everhad, but then he had to go back
again. In the meantime I also applied for an English visa. When he was
leaving it was likesomething broke inside of me. I wasn't sure whether
I was going to obtain a visa, but he said:if it doesn't work, I am
giving you some homework… to think if you want to marry me. My God, I
didn't know what to say, I only smiled.So he left and I was without
him for 2 months… and I cheated on him… 3 times. I don't know why… it
wasn't fairto him. He was so good to me and I, the fool, cheated on
him.
I am now with him in England. We have been living together for a
year,but this lies on my conscience. I want to confess, but I am sure
it would be the end. I have one more problem. I was pregnant from him,
but I got rid of the baby… he doesn't know about that either… too many
lies and I can't live with themanymore.
I don't know, I want to tell him, but whenever I think it is the right
time…I get scared. I started treating him bad, we fight all the time.
Of course, it is all my fault. A week ago we even wanted to end our
relationship, because he said that he can't stand it any more, the way
I treat him… oh, I really don't know how exactly.
Please, tell me what to do… I am sorry, I probably bored you, but at
least I feel better now.

Story, - I want him back. But...

I had known this guy since we were little kid. we had crush to each
other since then. one dayi met him again and sincethen, we started to
contact. we talked, we chat, but we were not officially dating that
time. just kinda flings.
After all the obstacles that we've been through,at last we were going
out. but after two months, i broke up with him as i thought
I had no feelings for him..he was hurt by then. after few months, I
went back to him and he accepted me. But then, the event recycled over
and over again for 3 times. and it was for the same reason: i have no
feelings for him. The problem was me, I just made the decision without
thinking much. I was so stupid. Now, he has a new girlfriend..
andthey'll be having one-year-relationship this September. I'm not
over him, i still love him but i wont disturb his relationship. I'll
just wait for him to come back to me.
The problem is... last week he told my best friend that he was
confused with his feelings, between me or his current girlfriend. I
could tell that he still cares for me. So, I gave him a text. we
managed to talked, and he didn't gave me much details though on his
problem. My friends said that i might have chance with him. I miss him
so much, and i want him back. But if i have to hurt his current
girlfriend in order to get him back, I don't think I can do that. But
I really want him back. I don't know what to do anymore. :(

Husband too friendly to non-Muslim women

Question:
Assalam alaikum
Living in the US, I have a hard time coming to terms with the culture
here.The women here wear unIslamic clothing (deep necks,scanty
clothing).
My husband's nature isto speak freely with allwhether men or women and
of very jovial nature.
My blood burns when Isee him speaking freely with these nastywomen. I
had several arguments with him, leading to a strained relationship.
Otherwise he loves medearly and is loyal to me. How should I reconcile
to my environment? I feel depressed most of the time and cannot
concentrate on anything including Salah.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May Allah's peace and blessings shower upon our beloved Messenger.
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you in good health and spirits.
Here's something I want to emphasize to you:
You said, and I quote,"Otherwise he loves me dearly and is loyal to me."
Alhamdulillah! This is all you could ask for in a Muslim husband. As
long as he is pious, aware of Allah at all times, and truly devoted to
you, then you have nothing to worry about.
Yes, the way the women dress is very disturbing. But you must remember
that these women do nothave divine guidance. There is really no such
concept as modesty in this society. But don't think of all non-Muslim
women as "nasty." Many of these same scantily-clad women, through
Allah's mercy, may one day come to Islam. I know sisters who are
themost modest, sincere Muslimahs today, who just yesterday were
running around barely dressed!
Please don't be depressed. We women do have a tendency to get jealous;
however, this isn't a very effective strategy. What you can do is
communicate your concern in a positive way to your husband. Tell him
how you really love his jovial personality, but could he exercise more
caution in his interactions with the opposite sex. Gently remind him
of the Qur'anic injunctions about lowering one's gaze.
Most importantly, be positive. Your husband has a beautiful Muslim
wife. Let him know that. Alhamdulillah, we stand out from the crowd.
Embrace that by being the best example of a Muslimah you can be.
My teacher once told me,"Bloom where you are planted." What this means
is that we should strive to flourish no matter where Allah Most High
has placed us on this earth. America offersmany opportunities to
Muslims: we can give da'wah, attend university and work withour hijab
on, help those less fortunate, and become active in our own Muslim
communitiesand in the larger society.
When you see these women, don't resent them. Feel confident thatyour
husband loves you. Give them a smile, treat them with kindness, and
show them a positive example of Muslim womanhood.
May Allah Most High blessyou and your husband.
And Allah knows best.

Fathwa, - Soul mate... potential spouse or potential disaster?

Question:
asalaamu alaikum,
By Allah's grace, I have recently come in contact with a brother with
whom I share a deep connection. The level of our connectionis so
intense that it is either too good to be true or too overwhelming.
Whatever it is, both of us agree that we have never had such an
exprience with anyoneelse ever.
We are both dedicatedmuslims and sincere inour path of
spirituality.However, it has come to our attention that we may have
certain differences in how we view our deen. It seems to me that for
him the beauty of Islam is in all its details. Where as I want to make
sure that I keep my practicesimple yet extremely sincere. That works
best for me as compulsion tends to make me lose sight of what is
really important which is being the best servant to Allah.
Do you think that in the end, two people should follow their hearts
and go with thepassion Allah has put in their hearts for one
another?... or is it best to make sure all the Islamic views match
before more feelings are involved?
thank you... wa salaam.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah the Absolutely Gracious, the Absolutely Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May Allah bless our Beloved Prophet and give him peace.
Dear Sister,
I apologize for the delay in responding.
I pray you are in good health and iman.
The number one thing todo is to make the Guidance Prayer, or
Salatal-Istikhara._______________________________________________Both
you and the brother need to make this prayer. Once you have turned to
Allah MostHigh for guidance, then take the next steps.
The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, gave us certain
criteria to use when selecting a spouse. The first and foremost is
religion. In a rigorously authenticated hadith, the Prophet, Allah
bless him and give him peace, said, "A woman is married for her
wealth, her reputation, her beauty or her religion. Choose the
religious one or you may be ruined." Scholars explain that this hadith
also applies equally to choosing a husband.
Our first choice may be to go with our feelings. However, it is
important to note that the fires of passion can be quickly
extinguished, particularly when the novelty of the spouse wears off
and the realities of married life set in.
After making istikhara, it is important to have some serious
conversations with this brother. Obviously, the conversations must be
chaperoned, so why not choose someone with experience in marriage
counseling? Allah willing,this person can help you identify areas of
potential conflict and suggest useful strategies for dealing with
these issues.
Make no mistake. Every marriage has some degree of conflict, even when
the spouses appear to be completely compatible. What's important is
how the spouses react to each other during the conflict.
Are these issues so fundamental in nature that they could drive
youapart? That is something you and the brother will have to
determine. It is difficult, if not impossible, to find someone who has
completely matching views. On the other hand, such differences,
ifstrong enough, can be a source of constant bickering.
My advice is to take theseconcerns to a reliable scholar. You may also
want to consider running the household according to a particular
school of thought. If both husband and wife agree to run the household
according to a particular school of thought, this may resolvesome
potential conflict.
Last but not least, please consult Ustadha Hedaya Hartford's excellent
guide to Islamic marriage. You can find Initiating and Upholding an
Islamic Marriage at a lmuhajabat.com. This book addresses some of the
key issues you've raised: romantic love, selecting a spouse, and
conflict resolution.

Fathwa, - My rights as a (second) wife

Question:
I wanted to know what rights I had in my Deen in this dilemma. I am my
husband's second wife, and our marriageis undercover from everybody,
my family and his family. We have been married for over three years
now. When we got married my husband assured me that in three years
time he would tell his wife and family, but just a few months laterhe
told me he could never tell her, because he fears he may lose his
children.
All this time I thought things might change, but they haven't and I
think it is very unlikelyto change. He doesn't spend any time with me,
maybe an hour every 6-8 weeks, he doesn't even have timeto talk to me
over the phone, and these things hurt me very much. When I married him
I accepted the fact I had to share him, but this isn't 50/50. When I
complain that he doesn't spend any time with me he says I am
pressurizing him, so I don't say anything,and if I am upset over this
he tells me I am feeling sorry for myself.
If I knew that things would be like this, thatour marriage will never
be public knowledge, I would have never married him. What am I suppose
to tell my family, who except me to get married. How do I explain this
to the world what my relationship is with this man? I've tried talking
to him many times; he just suggestsI look for anther man to marry. I
don't think he knows how much this is hurting me, how much it effects
me. He gets all this rights as my husband, yet he has taken away any
rights Allah SWT has given to every wife.
I cannot talk to anyoneabout my problems, because I'm not allowed to
tell anyone.Every problem I face, I have to face alone. He says he
loves me, but they are just words to me now. I feel like I ambeen
unjustly treated, that's he has misled me.
I would really appreciate if you couldgive me some advice, maybe I am
just looking at this from my point of view, and that I am wrong in
thinking like this. AllahSWT knows best.
Allah Hafiz
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
I pray that this message finds you in in good health and iman.
You are correct: this is a difficult situation.
My first piece of advice to you is to make sure that you have some
documentation of your marriage. Since the community was not informed
of your marriage, you need to besure that you can prove that you are
this brother's wife. Were there any witnesses to the marriage? Do you
have a contract?
You need to go to the person who performed the marriage ceremony and
apprise him of the situation.
Even more importantly, you need to consult a reliable scholar, Imam,
orMuslim marriage counselor and let them know what is happening.
The brother has violated your rights as a wife on several counts.
Sacred Law absolutely requires men to treat their wives equitably.
Equitable treatment includes, but is not limited to:
1. Financial support and maintenance
2. Housing
3. Companionship
4. Fair division of time between households
This is the letter of the law. If a man cannot dealequitably between
wives, it is impermissible for him to enter into a polygynous
marriage.
The scholars on SunniPath caution against men entering into such
marriages for the very reasons you describe. Obviously your husband is
concerned that if he were to tell his first wife about you, then their
marriage would break up. Since there are so many relationships at
stake here, yours, his first marriage, and his relationship with his
children, you need to reconsider the wisdom of staying in such a
situation.
Please ask Allah Most High to facilitate the bestcourse of action by
turning to Him in istikhara, or the prayer for guidance.

Employment concerns forworking Muslim women – II: Working from home)a solution(

For single and married sisters who must work due to financial need,
this presents a perplexing dilemma on one hand the true economic need
is there, on another the tremendous temptation and tribulation. These
hardships have led some sisters in dire straights to turn totheir
local mosques for financial aid or in humiliation to the welfare
system; in most cases whatever assistance they do receive is never
enough to cover even the most modest living expenses. These options
can only offer short-term assistance and are not a solution to a
long-term need. One option that may work for most of us is working
from home.
Most of us are aware of the industriousness of the Prophet'swife,
Khadeejah. Shewas by all accounts, an astute businesswoman. Although
Khadeejahwas a wealthy woman, starting a home-based business today
does not require alarge investment. In fact, in most cases, a small
home-based endeavor may only require minimal funds to start-up. In
addition, most of us are also aware that Islam has blessed women and
permitted them to conduct business for themselves. There is no
question that it is permissible, but how we choose to carry out that
blessing is the key issue.
As Muslim women, we have certain obligations, such as our home and
family, which should always be our utmost priority. We must never lose
sight of the importance of those obligations; being good mothers and
wives is much more crucial to our life in the Hereafter than working
at another job will ever be. Raising our children to be trustworthy,
honest Muslims is a means for us to acquire our goal of
Jannah)Paradise(, and that is something that no monetary wealth can
ever accomplish no matter how great. Knowing this, we have a choice to
make, and protecting ourselves by working from the security of home
can make a world of difference to our family and more importantly, to
enable us to safeguard our religion.
The notion of working at home isnot something new. The "work-at-home"
idea has been echoed for years from scam artists and homemakers alike,
all trying to make some extra cash. However, with the advent of the
Internet, anew door has opened. Freelancing has become commonplace
today's job marketand employees are now telecommuting more than ever
before. Working from home can now be a reality instead of a dream for
Muslim women.
Excellent benefits:
The benefits and rewards of working from home are innumerable. You are
your own boss, and are therefore free to manage your own time. For
example, if your child needs attention or if you need to perform your
Prayer, it is your prerogative when to take a break; you will be on
your own time, not someone else's. If your financial situation
improves and there is not a need to work a great deal, the option to
take a vacation is yours. You will have the ability to deal with your
customers only via e-mail, eliminating face-to-face contact completely
and using the telephone altogether. What's more, you also get the
added benefit of deciding when to reply to that e-mail, when you have
thetime. Checks come to you, rather than you going to them. In other
words, the work can revolve around your life, rather than vice-versa.
One of the most beneficial aspects of working from home is that it can
be done by one person, or as a family venture. The effect of working
as a team can even bring the family closer together while
simultaneously benefiting it financially. Everyone from the young to
the old can participate in running a home-based business. It can also
be one of the most effective hands-on learning opportunities for
children. Running a home-based business incorporates various real-life
skills that children can discover such as marketing, advertising,
developing business concepts, math and teamwork.
Home business also provides a solid foundation to teach a child
Islamic work ethics. For Muslim women, it is a win-win situation. You
are able to be with your children, earn extra money from your home and
set a schedule that works best for yourself and your family.
Working from home is also a great way for sisters to band together and
develop an organized effort networking theirtalents. If you are
someone that has computer or business skills, you can donate your time
to teach other sisters that are in need of work so that they may
benefit their own families, and in turn you will be rewarded, Allaah
willing.
Our homes are a protection for us, but our homes can also be
profitable, not only Islamically but also economically. It is up to us
to be resourceful thinkers and find what each of us can do from our
home to help our families and ourselves, while preserving and
protecting our religion and chastity.
Final advice:
This was an attempt to give an alternative to substitute having to
indulge in an out-of-home working environment. However, if a sister is
forced to get into such an environment, then she must realize that
Hijaab, on its own, makes a statement telling she is a proud and
committed Muslim. This, if done sincerely, could repel much harm from
her.
The most important advice for sisters to remember is that no matter
where we are, or what we are doing, we should be persistent in
fulfilling Allaah's commands, be ever mindful of Him, and rely solely
upon His grace and assistance. If we are in a job where we feel that
our values are being compromised, the best option is to leave.
Allaah,Almighty, should always be our first priority, not money,
personalsatisfaction, or desire for prestigeor power. If things seem
too overwhelming or difficult, we should always turn to Allaah and ask
for his help and guidance.
The Prophetsaid:"Allaah the Almighty says:'I will be for My slave as
he thinks of Me. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he
makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and
if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of himin an
assembly better than it. Andif he draws near to Me a hand's span, I
draw near to him an arm's length; and if he draws near to Me an arm's
length, I draw near to him a fathom's length…"]Al-Bukhaari[
If you absolutely must work, thenmake sure that before you apply for
any job to perform the Istikhaarah Prayer and seek guidance from
Allaah and place the matter with Him – indeed Allaah is the Best
Disposer of affairs, and the Best to rely on. Let us rely upon Allaah
in all of our matters, whether personal, social, or professional.

Entering the marital bond – IV :The wedding night

For a woman, the wedding day is one of the happiest and most exciting
days of her life. The preparations, the guests and the festivities are
all in anticipation ofthis very special event. At the same time, many
women also experience a great deal of apprehension and anxiety,
particularly as the wedding night approaches. Many are concerned about
how it will be for them, what will happen, how their newhusbands will
treat them. It is an unknown experience that stirs upmany emotions and
concerns.
Islam is a religion that has maintained the special nature of the
wedding and the wedding night, providing specific prescriptions for
those events. Intimate relations between a man and a woman are only
allowed within the marital bond, ensuring the uniqueness of that day
and that relationship. It is important to recall that the union of man
and woman is an innate occurrence and, because of that, it will come
naturally. Allaah Says )what means(:"And We created you in
pairs."]Quran 78: 8[ Islam has regulated this relationship on the
basis of wisdom and nature. Through marriage, the natural instinct is
provided for within reasonable and appropriate limits. This prevents
the disorder and disharmony that we see in societies where these
limits are not in place. The Islamic prescriptions are the most
beneficial for the human beings, as well as the society in regard
tosexual and marital relations. The individual is able to fulfill his
or her desires in a healthy and wholesome manner, while protecting the
society from iniquity at the same time.
So, as couples unite, they should reflect upon the fact that they
arefulfilling an important duty in Islam and will be rewarded
accordingly. There is also a spiritual component to this unionalong
with the other elements. This means that they will be accountable to
Allaah in all that they do in relation to this union. They are
embarking on a new course in life, which will present new challenges
and new joys. They will need to learn about each other – the other
person's needs, personality, temperament,and uniqueness. Patience will
be needed since any match will not be perfect and there will most
certainly be differences. This will be true regarding intimate matters
as well, and this should be kept in mind as the couple begins their
journey together on the first day of marriage. The couple should take
time to get toknow and understand one another and to discover the
uniqueness and desires of their new life partner. This should be done
in a gradual and sensitive manner. Each individual should be more
concerned about the needs and wants of their partner,more so than his
or her own self. This is a very delicate issue, especially for women
who are generally more sensitive and emotional.
Mothers, sisters and friends who are experienced should assist in
preparing the bride for the wedding night. They should be supportive
and provide her with the necessary information. This will lessen her
anxiety and make her feel comfortable knowing that other women have
had similar experiences. All of this should be done, of course,
without providing specific detailsof each individual's experiences for
this is a very personal matter. The discussion can be general and
based upon the Quran and the Sunnah.
The following are some of the etiquette that should be considered in
preparing for this special night. This information will also be
valuable and useful throughout the marriage.
1. Special supplications and prayer
As the union for a man and a woman embodies an inherent spiritual
component, the couple should remember Allaah at this time. The husband
should put hishand on his wife's head and supplicate for her. The
Prophetsaid:"If one of you marries a woman, he should take her by her
forelock, mention Allaah's Name and supplicate for blessing by saying,
'O Allaah, I ask you for her good and the good of what You have
dispositioned her toward and I seek refuge )in You( from her evil and
the evil You have dispositioned her toward.'"]Al-Bukhaari[
Following this, the couple performs two Rak'ahs )units of prayer( together.
Before becoming intimate, the man should say, "Bismillaah, Allahumma
jannibnaa ash-shaytaana wa jannibish-shaytaana ma razaqtana," which
means: "In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, ward off Satan from us and
ward off from Satan what you grant us." The Prophetsaid:"Then, if
Allaah decrees that they should have a child, Satan will never harm
him."]Al-Bukhaari[ This should be said before each intimate act in
order to protect the children who may be conceived.
2. Cleanliness
Miswaak )tooth stick( –It is recommended for each partner to clean his
or her teeth and mouth with Miswaak or a toothbrush. This will make it
easier for them to come close to each other and enhance the relations.
Shurayh Ibn Haani'said: "I asked 'Aa'ishah, what theProphetwould begin
with when he entered his house and shesaid:'Cleaning his
teeth.'"]Muslim[
Wudhoo' )ablution( and Ghusl)ritual bathing( – after the couple have
completed the sexual act and wish to repeat it, it is recommended to
perform ablution before this. This is the Sunnah of the Prophetas
demonstrated in the following narration. The Messenger of
Allaahsaid:"If one of you has gone to his wife and he wishes torepeat
the act, he should )first( perform ablution."]Muslim[ After completion
of intimacies, it is required for both spouses complete Ghusl )a
ritual bath( before resuming prayer and other religious acts.
3. Appropriate behavior
The husband may approach his wife in any manner that he wishes as long
as it is through the vagina. Allaah Says )what means(:"Your wives are
a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of
cultivation however you wish and put forth]righteousness[ for
yourselves…"]Quran 2: 223[ It is imperative to stay away from the anal
area and to avoid intercourse when the woman is menstruating. The
Prophetsaid:"Whoever has intercourse with a menstruating woman or with
a woman through the anus has committed disbelief in what has been
revealed to Muhammad."]Ahmadand Abu Daawood[ These acts areto be
avoided because they are unnatural and they may lead to various
physical, psychological, and interpersonal problems.
The union between a man and a woman is a special gift which hasbeen
given by Allaah. It is one of the bounties of this life and, as such,
it should be treated accordingly. It is a relationship that should be
based upon love, compassion, and concern for the other. It is an act
of charity for which Allaah will reward both partners. The
Prophetsaid: "In having intercourse )with your wife( there is an act
of charity)for which you shall be rewarded(."The companionssaid, "O
Messenger of Allaah, one of us fulfills his desires and he will be
rewarded for that?" Hesaid:"Do you not see that if he fulfills it in a
forbidden way that he will have its burden )it being a sin(. In the
same way if he fulfills it in a permissible way, he shall have a
reward."]Muslim[
As the couple begin their life together as husband and wife, they
should keep to these important principles and, Allaah willing, Allaah
will reward them with a long and happy life together.

History of the Sunnah – III: The era of the Companions and their followers

As a part of our discussion of the Companions'methodology in
preserving the Sunnah of the Prophetwe mentioned thus far two of its
aspects; namely, prudence in narrating the Hadeeth, and verification
and substantiation of the Hadeeth before accepting it. Three more
aspects are presented here.
3. Study, critique, and assessmentof the narrations
Of the ways the Companionsused to preserve the Sunnah, properly
learning and studying it,was perhaps the most important.They refer to
this using terms like, "Tadaarus" and"Muthaakarah," both of which
indicate a studying that involves more than one person as well as a
mutual exchange of knowledgeand ideas. The results of this"studying
and discussing" were manifold. Learning the Sunnah correctly, free of
mistakes was one of the goals, and so was the firm memorization of it.
And since it was physically impossible for a large number of the
Companionsto have equal time access to the Prophetthese discussions
were the means through which the narrations known to only a few
individuals were passed on to many others, thus expanding the circle
of narrators. Books such as Jaami' Bayaan Al-'Ilm by Ibn Abd
Al-Barrand Al-Jaami' Li Akhlaaq Ar-Raawi by Al-Khateebhave many
authentic narrations from the Companionsbearing witness to the
effectiveness of these discussionsin preserving the Sunnah.
Another aspect of the Companions'methodology in preserving the Sunnah
was the critical assessment and evaluation of what they narrated and
taught to one another. Anytime a Companionfelt what he heard from
another had a problem, he or she would critically analyze it and give
his/her opinion about it. A major example of this effort by the
Companionswas demonstrated by Badruddeen Az-Zarkashiwho wrote a book
in which he collected more than seventy narrations in which one
Companion, 'Aa'ishah, the Mother of the Believerswas reported as
having corrected other Companions'narrationsbased on her assessment of
the narrations in light of the Quran and the Hadeeth.
4. Traveling in search of the Hadeeth
Another great effort they made was traveling in search of the Hadeeth,
for after the death of the Prophetthe Companionsmoved to different
places within the Muslim land, and traveling became an essential
method of Hadeeth collection, authentication and preservation. Here
are a few examples of the Companions'travel for the sole purpose of
confirming certain narrations:
Jaabir Ibn Abdullaahtraveled a whole month to Ancient Syria only to
verify one Hadeeth.]Al-Bukhaari[
One of the Companionstraveled to visit Fudhaalah Ibn 'Ubaydand told
him that he came not to visit him but only to ask him about a
narration that they both heard together from Prophetand he was hoping
that Fudhaalahhad the complete wording of that Hadeeth. ]Abu Daawood[
One of the Companionsleft his home in Madeenah in order tomeet Abu
Ad-Dardaa'in Damascus only to have Abu Ad-Dardaa' confirm a narration
which this Companionhad already heard from the Prophet. ]Ibn Abd
Al-Barr[
The Companion Abu Ayyoobtraveled all the way to Egypt to ask 'Uqbah
Ibn 'Amrabout one Hadeeth. Abu Ayyoob told 'Uqbahthat the two of them
were the only living Companions who have heard that Hadeeth directly
from the Prophetandhe wanted to confirm the Hadeeth from
'Uqbah.]Ahmad[
5-Memorization of the Hadeeth
Muslims – one generation after the other – did all that is humanly
possible to preserve the texts of the Quran and the Sunnah as accurate
as they received it from the Prophet. Beside the extra effort they
exacted to develop the Methodology, the Companionsbenefited from a
talent that came naturally to them, one that was truly befitting to
the main undertaking of that methodology—the verbatim transmission of
the Sunnah. This unique quality of the Companionswas that they enjoyed
powerful memories.It was easy for anyone of them tocommit to heart any
number of narrations and retain them as such for a very long time.
This quality was not specific only to the Companionsbut ratherwas a
common feature of the Arab society as a whole. Many scholars—Muslims
and non-Muslim alike – established the fact that the Arabs of that
erawere masters of language, and their society had a profoundly strong
oral tradition. The known narrator of poet­ry, Hammaad, for example,
was reported to have memorized at least one hundred long poems for
each letter in the Arabic alphabet. Thatis more than 2800 pieces of
poetry. Powerful memory was a source of pride for them and theyplaced
more con­fidence in it than in writing, they believed that writings
could be tampered with. Some even took this pride to extreme levels,
they would notwrite anything down for fear thatmay be taken as
indication of defective memory.
Obviously, the Companionswho had more passion for preserving the
Sunnah than poetry and literature used this powerful quality to
protect and maintain the Sunnah. Imaam Ad-Daariminarrated that
theCompanion Abu Hurayrahsaid: "I used to divide the night into three
parts. In the first, I would perform the optional night Prayer, in the
second I would sleep, and in the third I would spend committing
Hadeeth to my memory." Actually, all of the Companionsconsidered this
an honor anda blessing, for they were encouraged to do so by the
saying of the Prophet: "May Allaah make radiant )bestow vigor upon(
anyone who heard what I said and commit­ted it to his memory until he
is able to convey it to another. Perhaps the person who hears it from
him can have a better understanding of it than him." ]At-Tirmithi[
On the other hand, the Prophetalso taught the Companionstwo aspects
that brought a needed balance to the use of memorization in conveying
his Hadeeth, namely the importance of writing, and the need of being
moderate in all matters. This fact complemented their efforts in
establishing a sound and well rounded methodology.
The phenomenon of "Memory Power" continued to be a generalcharacter of
the Arab society wellinto the third and fourth centuries of Hijrah,
the time by which all of the Sunnah was collected into books and
records. But the diminishing of its prevalence in the society with
time did not minimize the role memory played in the preserving of the
Sunnah. "Memory Power," or Dhabt—proficiency in narration, as it later
came to be known—became an essential part of the standards used to
judge authenticity. Judging the narrators memory power is central in
what we know as the science of "Al-Jarh wa Ta'deel."

Dought & clear, - The Muslim Woman, - • Are women equal withmen in reward and punishment?.

Some people say that women are lacking in intellect and religious
commitment, and in inheritance and bearingwitness. Some say that
Allaah has made them equal in reward and punishment. What is your
opinion: are they lacking according to Islam or not?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Islam came to honour women and raise their status, and to give them a
position that befits them, and to take care of them and protect their
dignity. So Islam commands women's guardians and husbandsto spend on
them, to treat them well, look after them and be kind to them. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"and live with them honourably"
[al-Nisa' 4:19]
It is reported that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and
I am the best of you to my wives." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 5/709, no.
3895.
Islam gives women all their rights and allows them to dispose of their
affairs in an appropriatemanner. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And they (women) haverights (over their husbands as regards living
expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards
obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree
(of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise"
[al-Baqarah 2:228]
This includes all kinds of dealings, buying, selling,compromising,
appointing others to act on their behalf, lending, depositing trusts,
etc.
Islam enjoined upon women the acts of worship and duties that befit
them, the same duties as men, namely purification, zakaah, fasting,
prayer, Hajj, and other acts of worship.
But Islam gives a womanhalf the share of a man when it comes to
inheritance, because sheis not obliged to spend on herself or her
house or her children. Rather the one who is obliged to spend on them
is the man, just as the man is responsible for spendingon guests,
contributing to payment of ransom money, and spending onreconciling
between conflicting groups.
With regard to the testimony of two women being equivalent to the
testimony of one man in some cases, that is because women tend to be
more forgetful than men because of their natural cycles of
menstruation, pregnancy, giving birth, raising children etc. All these
things preoccupy them and make them forgetful. Hence the shar'i
evidence indicatesthat another women should reinforce a woman's
testimony, so that it will be more accurate. But there are matters
that pertain onlyto women in which the testimony of a single woman is
sufficient, such as determining how often a child was breastfed,
faults that may affect marriage, and so on.
Women are equal with men in terms of reward, remaining steadfast in
faith and doing righteous deeds, in enjoying a good life in this world
and a great reward in the Hereafter. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or
she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will
give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful
provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to
the best ofwhat they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)"
[al-Nahl 16:97]
So we know that womenhave rights and duties, just as men have rights
and duties. There are matters which suit men so Allaah has made
themthe responsibility of men, just as there are manners which suit
women so He has made them the responsibility of women.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Dought & clear, - The Muslim Woman, - • Necessity of a mahram to accompany a woman when she travels, even ifit is a short trip.

We live in the country. Sometimes I like to visit my uncle who lives
in a city that is 50 km furtherthan us. I have to use mixed
transportation and go alone because my father thinks it is very
expensive to use transportation. He leaves the matter of meeting my
uncle or notup to me. There is no other place I can go to. I visit my
uncle every 5-8 months. Am I allowed to travel without a mahram?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The saheeh Sunnah indicates that it is not permissible for a womanto
travel without a mahram. This includes both long trips and shorttrips,
according to the majority of scholars. Everything that is called
travelling is forbidden for a woman unless she has a mahram with her.
Al-Bukhaari (1792) and Muslim (2391) narrated that Ibn 'Abbaas (may
Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: 'No woman should travel except with a
Mahram, and no man should enter upon a woman unless her Mahram is with
her.' A man said, 'O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go out with
such-and-such an army and my wife wants to go to Hajj.' He said, 'Go
to Hajj with her.'"
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him)said in Sharh Saheeh Muslim,
explaining that travel here does not refer to a specific distance:
Everything that is called travelling, it is forbiddenfor a woman to do
without her husband or a mahram, whether it is three days, two days or
one day, or anything else, because of the hadeeth of Ibn 'Abbaas,
according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "No woman should travel without a mahram." Thisincludes
everything that is called travel. And Allaah knows best.
End quote.
And it says inFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah(17/339): It is haraam fora
woman to travel without a mahram in all cases, whether the journey is
long or short. End quote.
Based on this, if this distance is regarded by people in your country
as travelling, then it is not permissible for you to travel without a
mahram. But you will be rewarded for your intention, in sha Allaah,
and you can maintain ties with your uncle by telephone, and that will
be sufficient in sha Allaah.
And Allaah knows best.

Dought & clear, - The Muslim Woman, - • She is not allowed to wear hijab, so how can she go out to work and meet her needs?.

My question is about hijab. Women here are forbidden to wear hijab and
they are treated badly in addition to the fact that they are not
allowed to enter their workplaces or other places such as police
stations, so they have nochoice but to take off their hijab. What is
the solution, especially sincewe have to meet our own needs and
especially at work?.
Praise be to Allaah.
For a woman to wear hijab in front of non-mahram men is an obligation
that is indicated in the Qur'aan and Sunnah and by scholarly
consensus. It is not permissible for anyone to enjoin otherwise or to
prevent those who want to follow this command, otherwise he is going
against the command and laws of Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His
Messengerhave decreed a matter that they should have any option in
their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has
indeed strayed into a plain error"
[al-Ahzaab 33:36]
"And whoever contradicts and opposes the Messenger (Muhammadصلى الله
عليه وسلم( after the right path has been shown clearly to him, and
follows other than the believers' way, We shall keep him in the path
he has chosen, and burn him in Hell — what an evil destination!"
[al-Nisa' 4:115]
"But no, by your Lord, they can have noFaith, until they make you (O
Muhammadصلى الله عليهوسلم( judge in all disputes between them,and find
in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them)
with full submission"
[al-Nisa' 4:65]
Secondly:
It is not permissible for awoman to be careless about this obligation
or to go out of her house with any part of her body uncovered, unless
she is forced to do so in a case of necessity that makes that which is
haraam permissible, such as if she is summoned to a police-station,
and she cannot avoid going there because that would result in harm to
herself or her property.
As for going out to work,if she does not have to do that because what
she is given by her husband or father or other relative who is obliged
to support her issufficient for her, then it is not permissible for
herto go out to work if that will result in her taking off her hijab.
The Muslims have to cooperate with regard to this matter and ensure
that Muslim women are independentof means so that they are not
compelled to go out in ways that involve sin. That may be achieved by
calling on fathers and relatives to spend generously on them and to
provide some useful work that women can do in their homes, so that
they will have no need to go out for any reason that may lead to them
taking off their hijab and exposingthem to harm because ofwearing it.
This depends on convincing the men that hijaab is obligatory, because
many of them do not care about that, and some of them are keen for
their wives and daughters to go out and work, and some of them will
not agree to marry awoman who does not work, even if her work means
that she has to take off the hijaab. This ignorance and shortcoming on
the part of the men is one of the greatest causes of this problem, and
one of the reasons why the matter is not being resolved. We should
strive to spread this knowledge, remind people of it and train them to
follow it, so that every man will bekeen to protect his family and
dependents, and will realize that he will be questioned tomorrow about
this trust – did he take care of it or not? The Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There is no personto whom
Allaah entrusts the care of others and he does not take care of them
sincerely, but he will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7150) and Muslim (142).
In fact, Muslims are individually obliged to strive to remove this
evil,and to adopt all the necessary means of achieving that, through
organizations and associations etc., so as torelieve their women of
hardship and enable every Muslim woman to wear her hijab. They should
not despair and give up on doing this duty. How many rights have been
restored to people by means of patience, effort and striving.
Thirdly:
If a woman is in dire straits and cannot find any alternative to going
out to work because she has no one to support her, and she is also
forced to take off the hijab, then if she is able to migrate to a land
where she will be able to practise her religion openly and obey the
commands of her Lord, she is obliged to do so.
Ibn al-'Arabi said inAhkaam al-Qur'aan(1/612):
Migration (hijrah) from dar al-kufr (kaafir lands) to dar al-Islam
(Muslim lands) is obligatory.
And from a land where innovation is widespread. Imam Maalik (may
Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is not permissible for anyone to
settle in a land in which the salaf are reviled.
And from a land in which haraam things areprevalent, for seeking
halaal is an obligation for every Muslim.
But not everyone may beable to migrate, and it cannot be regarded as a
solution for all Muslim women.
If a women really needs to go out of her house towork or do some
errands etc, and the matter is limited to uncovering the face only,
then we hope that there is nothing wrong with her doing that.
But we must strive to solve this problem completely, as stated above,
by advising thosewho are in positions of responsibility and askingthem
for this religious and personal right. The daa'iyahs who call people
to Allaah and the scholars have to explain to the people that hijab is
an obligation that Allaah has enjoined upon the Muslim women.
It is very strange that wesee this intense war against hijab, the
symbolof chastity and purity, and at the same time wesee that the door
is wideopen for immoral and promiscuous women.
Be patient, O believing women, for the reward of Allaah is precious
and there will come a day in which the religion of Allaah will prevail
over all other religions.
"It is He Who has sent HisMessenger (Muhammadصلى الله عليه وسلم(
withguidance and the religion of truth )Islam(, to make it superior
over all religions even thoughthe Mushrikoon)polytheists, pagans,
idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah( hate )it("
[al-Tawbah 9:33]
"And Allaah has full power and control over His Affairs, but most of
men know not" [Yoosuf 12:21
We ask Allaah to guide this ummah so that people of obedience willbe
honoured and peopleof disobedience will be humiliated, , and to help
you and all the Muslim women to adhere to hijab and give up wanton
display and unveiling.
And Allaah knows best.

Power and Worth of Bismillah: I can walk on water

Syed Murtadha was a great aalim (scholar) wholived many years ago. He
had many students who attended his classes.
At one of his classes he noticed that one of the students always came
late. One day Syed Murtadha asked the student "Why are you always
late?"
The student replied that he lived across the river and always took the
first ferry across but the ferry service did not start any earlier.
Syed Murtadha wrote something on a piece of paper, folded it and
gaveit to the student. "Keep this with you" he said"and you will be
able to walk across the river from tomorrow - but do not open the
paper."
The next day the student got to the river and put his foot tentatively
on the water. He could not believe that he could actually walk on the
water.
For the next few days, he got to the classes on time.
One day, he could not hold back his curiosity. He looked inside the
folded piece of paper. Onit was written Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In
the name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful).
For a moment he thought- "Is this all that helps me walk on water!" He
put the paper in his pocket asusual and went to the river to go to his
classes. This time he could not walk on the water and had to wait for
the ferry. This meant that he was late for his class.
When the class was over, Syed Murtadha called himover and said "You
looked into the paper when I had told you not to!"
With Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of Allah, the beneficent
the merciful) you can move mountains provided you have trust and faith
in Allah.

Worth and Significance of Bismillah: Ring in the Stomach of the Fish

There was once a lady who always said Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the
name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful) before she did anything.
She knew that Allah would then always be with her. One day, sheput her
ring in the cupboard and as usual she said Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
(In the name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful) before she put it
away. She knew that it would be safe.
Her husband took the ring and threw it in the river. He wanted to
proveto her that only saying Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of
Allah, the beneficent the merciful) would not keepit safe. He thought
that inthe evening he would ask her where the ring was and it would
not be there.
Later that morning, the lady went to the market to buy some fish. When
she was cleaning the fish at home she found her ring inside the
stomach of the fish. She wondered how it got there but then put it
backin its place in the cupboard saying Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In
the name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful).
When her husband came back from work, he asked her where the ringwas.
She brought it from the cupboard. He was so surprised!
He told her what he had done and apologized to her. He also truly
believed that Allah is with the person who
saysBismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of Allah, the beneficent the
merciful) before he/she does anything.