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Saturday, January 16, 2016

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * What is the ruling on someone who causes trouble between an engaged couple so that he will call it off and she can snag him?

There is a woman who caused trouble between two people who were about
to get married. She had intervened to resolve a problem between them,
but she transmitted bad talk between them, saying that each of them
had said bad things about the other. So they split up and there was a
trade of insults and bad talk between them because of the words that
had been falsely transmitted between them.
Then the young man went and proposed to the girl who had caused
trouble between him and the first girl whom he had wanted to marry.
What is the ruling before Allah? Will there come a day when this man
will realise that he unfairly mistreated the first girl or not?
Published Date: 2015-04-07
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Causing trouble between Muslims is a major sin that corrupts
intentions in people's hearts, spoils relationships between people,
and spreads mischief in the land.
It says inal-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah(5/291):
It is prohibited to cause trouble and spoil relationships among
Muslims, for two reasons:
1. in order to preserve unity among the Muslims
2. out of respect for their dignity, because Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):"And hold fast, all of
you together, to the Rope of Allah (i.e. this Qur'an), and be not
divided among yourselves" [Aal 'Imraan 3:103].
Hence reconciling between people is one of the best of good deeds, and
causing division among people is one of the gravest of major sins, as
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Shall I
not tell you of something that is better than fasting, prayer and
giving charity? " They said: Yes indeed. He said: "Reconciling between
people, for causing division among people is the 'shaver' (that shaves
one of religious commitment)."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (2509); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
inSaheeh al-Jaami'(2595).
Hence the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade
seeking out the faults of the Muslims, and he forbade backbiting,
malicious gossip, suspicion, mutual hatred, mutual envy and everything
that may lead to causing trouble among Muslims. End quote.
This prohibition is emphasised if causing trouble between people is
done to spoil that which could have been the means of bringing them
together, instilling love between them and uniting them, such as
marriage.
Secondly:
Causing trouble between people usually involves telling lies,
backbiting, malicious gossip and slander, all of which are major sins.
Please see the answers to questions no. 23328, 101776and 99554for
information on the negative impact of these blameworthy
characteristics and how to repent from them.
Thirdly:
It is haraam for a Muslim woman to cause trouble between a man and his
fiancée so that she may snag him for herself, for this comes under the
heading of bad conduct and blameworthy characteristics. Al-Bukhaari
(6601) and Muslim (1408) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be
pleased with him) said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "A man should not propose marriage to a woman to whom
his brother has already proposed and he should not outbid his brother.
A man should not marry a woman if he is already married to her
paternal aunt or maternal aunt. A woman should not ask for her sister
to be divorced so as to deprive her of what is rightfully hers and so
that she may be married in her stead; rather she will have what Allah
has decreed for her."
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
What this hadith means is that it is prohibited for a non-mahram woman
to ask a man to divorce his wife and marry her instead, so that she
gains the maintenance, kind treatment, intimacy and so on that
belonged to the divorced woman.
End quote fromSharh Saheeh Muslim(9/193)
Al-Haafiz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This is quoted as evidence for the prohibition on a woman proposing to
a man who has already proposed to another woman. This hadith makes the
ruling concerning men the same as the ruling concerning women with
regard to proposing marriage. The scenario is: a woman proposes to a
man, and he responds to that proposal, then another woman comes and
encourages him to marry her, and tries to make him lose interest in
the one who came before her, whom he has already agreed to marry.
End quote fromFath al-Baari(9/200)
Fourthly:
The issue does not have to do with whether all the parties involved in
this issue know what is happening or not, because worldly matters may
be hidden. But on the Day when all secrets will be exposed before the
Lord of the Worlds, and what was hidden in people's hearts becomes
manifest, what answer will those who caused trouble and spread
malicious gossip have before Allah?
What the woman who has done this must do is hasten to repent, and part
of complete repentance is putting right that which she has spoiled and
admitting to each party what she said about the other, so that they
will understand the situation, then if they want to they can get back
together and go ahead with their marriage, or if they want to they can
remain as they are now.
If it is too difficult to state what really happened, then that can be
done by way of hinting or via a third party, striving to set things
straight and explain what really happened.
And Allah knows best.

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * What are the defects that must be disclosed to a potential marriage partner?

I have been suffering from a mental illness for several years. For a
while, I have been praying regularly, reading Qur'an, remembering
Allah (dhikr), giving charity and helping people a great deal, and I
am much better, but I feel that the illness is still lurking. Is it
obligatory for me to inform anyone who proposes marriage to me about
that?
Published Date: 2015-12-30
Praise be to Allah
We ask Allah to heal you and grant you well-being. It seems to us that
this illness is not real. If we assume that it is real, then we would
say: if this illness would not have any impact on married life or on
raising children, then there is no need to inform a prospective
marriage partner about it. But if it does have some impact, in the
sense that it may result in some problems after marriage that would
prevent you from developing bonds of love and creating a tranquil
home, then you must tell him about that, because concealing it would
be a kind of deceit. It is proven that deceit is forbidden in general
terms from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him), according to which the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever deceives (people) does not belong
to me." Narrated by Muslim, 102.
You should not pay any attention to imaginary things with regard to
your illness. Most such things are tricks of the Shaytaan, and are
aimed at preventing you from getting married and keeping yourself
chaste.
The basic guidelines with regard to informing a suitor about illness
in the prospective wife are as follows:
1. if the sickness will have any impact on married life and will
affect the wife's ability to fulfil her duties towards her husband and
children;
2. if it will be off-putting to the husband because of its
appearance or smell;
3. if it is real and permanent, and is not something imagined or
temporary that will disappear with the passage of time or after
marriage.
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked:
There is a young woman who is occasionally affected by periods of
insanity, then it goes away again, and she goes back to normal for a
period that may be long or short. Sometimes prospective suitors come
to propose marriage to her, the family finds it difficult to arrange a
marriage for her, because they do not know how to tell the prospective
suitor about the situation and they are very hesitant, which leads to
missing out on the opportunity to get married. Recently the family
have decided that they would rather get her married to a person who
has some kind of disability or other problem, so that it will be
easier for him to accept her. Now there is a potential suitor who is
infertile, and another who is the son of her paternal aunt, who has
proposed to her and has stated that he is aware of her illness. But
the problem is that the mother of this young man – i.e., the paternal
aunt of the girl – has the same sickness, and when we asked the doctor
what he thought about this marriage, he said that he did not recommend
it, because the probability of having children who were affected by
the same illness was great.
My question is: what is the Islamic ruling on such a marriage? If it
turns out that it produces a child who is also ill, will we have the
ones who are responsible for that, as we would have played a role in
bringing about this marriage? Please note that the possibility of
producing children who are also ill is great.
They replied:
You should not prevent the girl from getting married, and you should
give her in marriage to this man who has come to propose to her, and
leave the matter to Allah. You should ignore the doctor's advice which
is based on probability, because marriage serves a purpose for both
parties and protects the girl from the risk of spinsterhood, on
condition that she agrees to marry the man of whom her guardian
approves for her.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh 'Abd ar-Razzaaq 'Afeefi, Shaykh
'Abdullah ibn Ghadyaan, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh 'Abd
al-'Azeez Aal ash-Shaykh.
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah, 18/194
They were also asked:
If a girl has a problem in the uterus or with her menstrual cycle that
requires treatment which may delay any chance of bearing children,
should the suitor be told about that?
They replied:
If this problem is something temporary, something that happens to
women then disappears, then it is not necessary to tell the suitor
about it. But if this problem is a serious disease or it is not a
minor, temporary problem, and the proposal comes when she still has
this problem and has not been healed of it, then in that case her
guardian must inform the suitor of it. End quote.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez Aal-ash-Shaykh, Shaykh Saalih ibn Fawzaan
al-Fawzaan,Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah, 19/15
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaymeen was asked:
There is a man who proposed marriage to a woman, but it is known that
this woman has a physical defect, which is hidden and not obvious, and
there is the hope that it may be cured, like leprosy and vitiligo.
Should the suitor be told about that?
He replied:
If a man proposes marriage to a woman, and she has a hidden defect,
and there are people who know about it, then if the suitor asks about
her, it is obligatory to disclose it. This is quite clear. But if he
does not ask, then he should be told about it because this comes under
the heading of sincere advice, especially if it is something that
there is no hope of it going away. But if there is hope of it going
away, then this is easier. However there are things that may go away,
but they go away slowly, such as leprosy for example – if it is true
that it may go away, but up till now we know nothing to suggest that
it may go away. So there is a difference between that which it is
hoped will go away soon and that which it is hoped will go away later
on.