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Thursday, October 31, 2013

Fathwa, - Polyandry in Islam

Question
According to Islam women cannot marry more than one male as then we
will not know who the father is. But today we can know who the father
is by DNA testing. So how can we answer this question if posed by a
non-Muslim?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that
Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
You have to know that Islam prohibits a woman to marry more than one
man, this is not just to protect the progeny, but for many other
wisdoms. These wisdoms are known by some people and not known by
others. Therefore even if it is confirmed that the father of the child
can be determined by DNA testing, still this does not change the
ruling due to several reasons. If the woman is busy taking care of
more than one husband, which one would she obey, taking into
consideration that people differ in their nature and character? One
wants to travel and the other wants to stay where he resides, one
wants to have sexual intercourse with her at a specific hour, and the
other wants the same at the same time. One wants hot food and the
other wants it cold, and other unlimited matters. So how can life be
acceptable with the above conditions? In addition to this, she has to
fulfill the need of her husbands whether in relation to sexual
intercourse or else. If we assume that their needs are at the same
time, how can she fulfill them? If she is impregnated by one husband
and then others have sexual intercourse with her, then they have
committed the prohibition, from which the Prophetwarned saying: "It is
not allowed for a man who believes in Allaah and the Last Day, to have
an intercourse with a woman who is pregnant from another man." ]Ahmad
and Abu-Daawood[
In addition to the above, if the woman has many husbands, it is not
safe for fatal disease to spread, like AIDS and other diseases.
Allaah knows best.

Fathwa, - Misconceptions about marital rights in Islam

Question
I have been reading about the marital rights in Islam and I am
confused. Please answer my question as its taking me away from
religion and bringing evil thoughts about Islam. I understand man has
more rights over his wife but if someone is given power there should
be severe punishment if he abuses that power but it seems that if
women makes a mistake her punishment is much severe than when the man
abuses his power for instance if she refuses an intercourse without
any valid reason which from what I read are being sick, menses and
mandatory fast. But it doesn't take into consideration her emotional
circumstances.
The Prophet,said: "When a man calls his wife to his bed and she
refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse
her until morning." ]Al-Bukhaari[
Where the husband beats his wife the matter is not so serious. Many
women have come to the family of Muhammad, complaining about their
husbands. Those )husbands( are not the best among you. ]Abu Daawood[
The Prophet,recommended Faatimah Bint Qays not to marry Abu Jaham
because he beat women )as for Abu Jaham, his stick never leaves his
shoulder(.
In both cases being violent to wife is not liked but not considered a
major sin but refusing intercourse is a major sin. I have also read if
wife refuses to obey the husband or have intercourse, man can stop
paying the maintenance but if the husband doesn't fulfil his
obligations like maintenance or kind treatment wife still has to obey
him and cannot refuse intercourse with him.
Similarly woman who asks for divorce without a valid reason is kind of cursed.
"Any woman who asked for a divorce for no reason, the fragrance of
Paradise is forbidden to her." ]Narrated by At-Tirmithi[
I haven't read anything which is as strict as the above regarding man.
Isn't harm caused by man divorcing wife without a reason the same as
woman asking for divorce without a reason.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that
Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you have to know that this religion is sent down by
Allaah, the Most-Wise, the All-Knower. He is the One Who knows what is
beneficial for His Slaves in this world and in the Hereafter. The
Words of Allaah are the Truth and All that Allaah has Legislated is
just. Allaah Says )which means(: }And the Word of your Lord has been
fulfilled in truth and in justice.{]Quran 6:115[, i.e. true in
information and just in rulings, free from all kinds of lies or
injustice. The belief of a Muslim requires that he submits himself to
Allaah's Decree. The Muslim's belief that Allaah is Perfect in his
Names and Attributes, and that he is the All-Knower, the All-Wise, the
All-Aware, and belief in His other Names and Attributes, all this
requires from him to firmly believe that Allaah does not legislate
except that which is beneficial for His Slaves, and that He does not
wrong anyone in His Rulings. It is He Who forbade injustice on Him and
made it forbidden among the people. A Muslim may not know the wisdom
and the secrets of legislation, so it is not permissible for him to
condition his belief on perceiving the wisdom, to an extent that if he
knows the wisdom, he believes and if he does not know it, he does not
believe. Therefore, you should be careful, and your slogan should be
the Saying of Allaah ]when speaking about the believers[ )which
means(: }And they say, ''We hear and we obey. ]We seek[ Your
forgiveness, our Lord, and to You is the ]final[ destination."{]Quran
2:285[. This is just an introductive answer to your misconceptions
before we proceed to answer your questions.
As regards your questions, the answer would be as follows:
1( It is not correct to say that the punishment for the woman in
most cases is more severe than that of a man. It is related that the
man is cursed and there are severe warnings against him in relation to
some of his conducts with his wife. For instance the Prophetsaid:
"Allaah cursed the husband who has sex with his wife in her anus."
]Abu Daawood[ The Prophetfurther said: "Whoever has sex with a woman
in menstruation, or has sex with his wife in her anus, or had been to
see a magician, he had indeed disbelieved in what was revealed upon
the Prophet Muhammad the Prophet." ]At-Tirmithi[ In another narration
the Prophetsaid: "When a husband has two wives and does not act justly
between them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with a side of his
body hanging down )as a form of punishment(." ]Abu Daawood[
2( It is not possible to be certain that the punishment of a
disobedient woman is less than that of a husband who hits his wife
without any religious reason. Allaah Says )which means(: }…But if they
obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is
ever Exalted and Grand.{]Quran 4:34[. ImaamIbn Katheersaid in relation
to the interpretation of the above verse:'This is a threat to the
husbands if they are unjust to their wives without any valid religious
reason, as it is Allaah Who is their ]wives[ guardian and He will
avenge those who are unjust to them.' Even if we assume that the
punishment of a disobedient woman or the woman who refuses to share
the bed with her husband is more severe than the punishment of a man
hitting his wife, the harm that results from a woman who refuses to
share the bed with her husband is greater than the harm which results
from him hitting her, as the husband may resort to adultery because of
his wife refusing him to enjoy her, and other harms could result due
to her refusal. Moreover, the Prophetclarified the issue of men
hitting their wives that it is not a simple matter as he said:"The men
who beat their wives are not the best of you.",so how could it be
deduced that this is an easy matter, rather this is a severe threat.
3( It is true that Islam legislated that a husband has the right
of not spending on his wife if she is disobedient to him, but it is
not correct to say that the wife has no right if the husband does not
fulfil her rights, as in such a case Islam has given the right for the
woman to take the matter to the court in order to remove the harm off
her.
4( It is known that in general women are controlled by their
emotion, that is why Islam did not put divorce in her hand and
prohibited her to ask for divorce without a sound religious reason so
that she will not resort to divorce for trivial reasons. It is for
this reason that the stance against her is more firm than in relation
to the husband. Finally, it should be noted that Islam legislated
divorce as the last solution to clarify that it is disliked to resort
to it as a means of solving the problems. The Prophetsaid: "Divorce is
the most hated lawful act to Allaah."]Abu Daawood[ Although some
scholarsconsidered the chain of narrators of this Prophetic narration
as weak, yet its meaning is correct.
Allaah Knows best.

Fathwa, - A non-Muslim girl admiring the Islamic Hijaab

Question
I am a 18 year old student and am best friends with a girl of the
Muslim faith.She is a penfriend and over the years has told me much
about her religion and her customs.Though I am not Muslim, I am very
interested in the concept of hijab, not just as items of clothing but
also because I believe in modesty and respect for all women. I know
from her that Muslim women should not dress like non-believers but I
ask, is it okay for a non-believer to dress Islamically ,as long as it
is out of respect and admiration and seeking modesty? Would this
offend Muslims, since I am not Muslim myself? I respectfully ask for
your guidance.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that
Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
Legislating Hijaab for women to wear, is one of the Merits of Islam.
One of the most important objectives of legislating the Hijaab is to
protect the woman. Also, Hijaab is a matter that corresponds with
theFitrah)natural disposition upon which Allaah created mankind(.
Since you are interested and impressed with the concept of Hijaab,
then this is a good characteristic in you and it is evidence that
yourFitrahis sound and that you have a sound mind, which we hope will
guide you to the ultimate goodness of embracing Islam. Islam is the
true and final religion by which Allaah abrogated all previous
religions, and Allaah does not accept any other religion but Islam.
Therefore, we advise you to embrace Islam so that you will become
happy in this world and in the Hereafter. The following are some
Fataawa )plural of Fatwa( which will help you in this regard: 81979,
86091, 88906and 88627.
As regards your wearing the Hijaab, then this is permissible and this
neither causes any harm to the Muslims nor hurt their feelings.
Allaah Knows best.

Last Sermon by Prophet (PBUH)

Delivered by Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu-Alayhi Wasallam in the Valley of Arafat.
"O people, perhaps you shall not see me again after this. Therefore
listen to what I am saying to you very carefully and take these words
to those who could not be present here today.
O people, just as you regard this month, this day, this city as
sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim as a sacred
trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners.
Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed
meet your Lord, and that he will indeed reckon your deeds. Allah has
forbidden you to take usury (interest), therefore all interest
obligation shall henceforth be waived ...
Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope
that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things; so beware
of following him in small things.
O people, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your
women, but they also have rights over you. If they abide by your
rights, then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in
kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are
your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do
not make friends with anyone whom you do not approve, as well as never
to commit adultery.
O people, listen to me in earnest, worship Allah, say your five daily
prayers (Salah), fast during the month of Ramadan, and give your
wealth in Zakat. Perform Hajj if you can afford to. You know that
every Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. You are all equal.
Nobody has superiority over another except by piety and good action.
Remember, one day you will appear before Allah and answer for your
deeds. So beware do not stray from the path of righteousness after I
am gone.
O people, no Prophet or Apostle will come after me and no new faith
will be born. Reason well, therefore O people, understand my words
which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the Quran and my
example the Sunnah and if you follow these you will never go astray.
All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those
to others again and may the last ones understand my words better than
those who listen to me directly. Be my witness O Allah, that I have
conveyed your message to your people."

Characteristics of Prophet Muhammad

Dress
His dress generally consisted of a shirt, tamad (trousers), a sheet
thrown round the sholders and a turban. On rare occasions, he would
put on costly robes presented to him by foreign emissaries in the
later part of his life (Ahmed, Musnad, Hafiz Bin Qaiyyam).
His blanket had several patches (Tirmizi). He had very few spare
clothes, but he kept them spotlessy clean (Bukhari). He wanted others
also to put on simple but clean clothes. Once he saw a person putting
on dirty clothes and remarked,
"Why can't this man wash them." (Abu Dawud, Chapter "Dress").
On another occasion he enquired of a person in dirty clothes whether
he had any income. Upon getting a reply in the affirmative, he
observed,
"When Allah has blessed you with His bounty, your appearence should
reflect it." (Abu Dawud)
He used to observe: "Cleanliness is piety".
Mode of living
His house was but a hut with walls of unbaked clay and a thatched roof
of palm leaves covered by camel skin. He had separate apartments for
his wives, a small room for each made of similar materials. His own
apartment contained a rope cot, a pillow stuffed with palm leaves ,
the skin of some animal spread on the floor and a water bag of leather
and some weapons. These were all his earthly belongings, besides a
camel, a horse, and an ass and some land which he had aquired in the
later part of his life (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud). Once a few of his
disciples, noticing the imprint of his mattress on his body, wished to
give him a softer bed but he politely declined the offer saying,
"What have I to do with worldly things. My connection with the world
is like that of a traveler resting for a while underneath the shade of
a tree and then moving on."
Amr Ibn Al-Harith, a brother in law of the prophet (pbuh), says that
when the prophet died, he did not leave a cent, a slave man or woman,
or any property except his white mule, his weapons and a piece of land
which he had dedicated for the good of the community (Bukhari, Sahih
Bukhari).
He advised the people to live simple lives and himself practised great
austerities. Even when he had become the virtual king of arabia, he
lived an austere life bordering on privation. His wife Aiysha (ra)
says that there was hardly a day in his life when he had two square
meals (Muslim, Sahih Muslim, Vol.2, pg 198). When he died there was
nothing in his house except a few seeds of barley left from a mound of
the grain obtained from a Jew by pawning his armour (Bukhari, Sahih
Bukhari, Chapter "Aljihad").
He had declared unlawful for himself and his family anything given by
the people by way of zakat or sadaqa (types of charity). He was so
particular about this that he would not appoint any member of his
family as a zakat collector (Sahah-Kitab Sadqat).
His manners and disposition
"By the grace of Allah, you are gentle towards the people; if you had
been stern and ill-tempered, they would have dispersed from round
about you" (translation of Qur'an, Chapter 3: Verse 159)
About himself the prophet (pbuh) said
"Allah has sent me as an apostle so that I may demonstrate perfection
of character, refinement of manners and loftiness of deportment."
(Malik, Mawatta; Ahmed, Musnad; Mishkat)
By nature he was gentle and kind hearted, always inclined to be
gracious and to overlook the faults of others. Politeness and
courtesy, compassion and tenderness, simplicity and humility, sympathy
and sincerity were some of the keynotes of his character. In the cause
of right and justice he could be resolute and severe but more often
than not, his severity was tempered with generosity. He had charming
manners which won him the affection of his followers and secured their
devotion. Though virtual king of Arabia and an apostle of Allah, he
never assumed an air of superiority. Not that he had to conceal any
such vein by practice and artifice: with fear of Allah, sincere
humility was ingrained in his heart.
He used to say,
"I am a Prophet of Allah but I do not know what will be my end."
(Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari, Chapter "Al-Janaiz")
In one of his sermons calculated to instill the fear of Allah and the
day of reckoning in the hearts of men, he said,
"O people of Quraish be prepared for the hereafter, I cannot save you
from the punishment of Allah; O Bani Abd Manaf, I cannot save you from
Allah; O Abbas, son of Abdul Mutalib, I cannot protect you either; O
Fatima, daughter of Muhammad, even you I cannot save." (Sahahin)
He used to pray,
"O Allah! I am but a man. If I hurt any one in any manner, then
forgive me and do not punish me." (Ahmed, Musnad, Vol. 6 pg. 103)
He always received people with courtesy and showed respect to older
people and stated:
"To honor an old man is to show respect to Allah."
He would notdeny courtesy even to wicked persons. It is stated that a
person came to his house and asked permission for admission. The
Prophet (pbuh) remarked that he was not a good person but might be
admitted. When he came in and while he remained in the house, he was
shown full courtesy.
When he left Aiysha (ra) said, "You did not think well of this man,
but you treated him so well."
The Prophet (pbuh) replied, "He is a bad person in the sight of Allah
who does not behave courteously and people shun his company bacause of
his bad manners." (Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari)
He was always thefirst to greet anotherand would not withdraw his hand
from a handshake till the other man withdrew his. If one wanted to say
something in his ears, he would not turn away till one had finished
(Abu Dawud, Tirmizi). He did not like people to get up for him and
used to say,
"Let him who likes people to stand up in his honour, he should seek a
place in hell." (Abu Dawud, Kitabul Adab, Muhammadi Press, Delhi).
He would himself, however, stand up when any dignitary came to him. He
had stood up to receive the wet nurse who had reared him in infancy
and had spread his own sheet for her. His foster brother was given
similar treatment. Heavoided sitting at a prominent placein a
gathering, so much so that people coming in had difficulty in spotting
him and had to ask which was the Prophet (pbuh). Quite frequently
uncouth bedouins accosted him in their own gruff and impolite manner
but he never took offence. (Abu Dawud Kitabul Atama).
He used to visit the poorest ofailing persons and exhortedall muslims
to do likewise (Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari, Chapter "Attendance on ailing
persons"). He would sit with the humblest of persons saying that
righteousness alone was the criterion of one's superiority over
another. He invariably invited people be they slaves, servants or the
poorest believers, to partake with him of his scanty meals (Tirmizi,
Sunan Tirmizi).
Whenever he visited a person he would first greet him and then take
hispermission to enter the house. He advised the people to follow this
etiquette and not to get annoyed if anyone declined to give
permission, for it was quite likely the person concerned was busy
otherwise and did not mean any disrespect (Ibid).
There was no type of household work too low or too undignified for
him. Aiysha (ra) has stated,
"He always joined in household work and would at times mend his
clothes, repair his shoes and sweep the floor. He would milk, tether,
and feed his animals and do the household shopping." (Qazi Iyaz:
Shifa; Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari, Chapter: Kitabul Adab)
He would nothesitate to do the menial work of others, particularly of
orphans and widows (Nasi, Darmi). Once when there was no male member
in the house of the companion Kabab Bin Arat who had gone to the
battlefield, he used to go to his house daily and milk his cattle for
the inhabitants (Ibn Saad Vol. 6, p 213).
Children
He was especiallyfond of childrenand used to get into thespirit of
childish games in their company. He would have fun with the children
who had come back from Abyssinia and tried to speak in Abyssinian with
them. It was his practice to give lifts on his camel to children when
he returned from journeys (Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 2 pg.886). He
would pick up children in his arms, play with them, and kiss them. A
companion, recalling his childhood, said,
"In my childhood I used to fell dates by throwing stones at palm
trees. Somebody took me to the Prophet (pbuh) who advised me to pick
up the dates lying on the ground but not to fell them with stones. He
then patted me and blessed me." (Abu Dawud)
Daily routine
On the authority of Ali, Tirmizi has recorded that the Prophet (pbuh)
had carefully apportioned his time according to the demands on him for
offering worship to Allah public affairs, and personal matters.
After theearly morning prayershe would remain sitting in the mosque
reciting praises of Allah till the sun rose and more people collected.
He would then preach to them. After the sermons were over, he would
talk genially with the people, enquire about their welfare and even
exchange jokes with them. Taxes and revenues were also disrtibuted at
this time (Muslim, Sahih Muslim Tirmizi, Sunan Tirmizi). He would then
offer chaste prayers and go home and get busy with household work
(Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmizi).
He would again return to the mosque for themid-day and afternoon
prayers, listen to the problems of the people and give solace and
guidance to them.
After theafternoon prayers, he would visit each of his wives and,
after the evening prayers, his wives would collect at one place and he
would have his dinner (Muslim, Sahih Muslim). After thenight prayers,
he would recite some suras of the Quran and before going to bed would
pray: "O Allah, I die and live with thy name on my lips."
On getting up he would say,
"All praise to Allah Who has given me life after death and towards
Whom is the return."
He used tobrush his teeth five times a day, before each of the daily
prayers. After midnight, he used to get up for the Tahajjud
prayerswhich he never missed even once in his life (Bukhari, Sahih
Bukhari). He was not fastidious about his bed: sometimes he slept on
his cot, sometimes on a skin or ordinary matress, and sometimes on the
ground (Zarqani).
On friday he used togive sermonsafter the weekly "Jumma" prayers. He
was not annoyed if anyone interrupted him during the sermons for
anything. It is stated that once, while he was delivering his sermon,
a bedouin approached him and said, "O messenger of Allah, I am a
traveler and am ignorant of my religion." The prophet (pbuh) got down
from the pulpit, explained the salient features of Islam to him and
then resumed the sermon (Tirmizi, Sunan Tirmizi).
On another occasion his grandson Husain, still a child, came tumbling
to him while he was delivering a sermon. He descended and took him in
his lap and then continued the sermon (Ibid).
Trust in Allah (swt)
Muhammad (pbuh) preached to the people to trust in Allah (swt). His
whole life was asublime example of the precept. In the loneliness of
Makkah, in the midst of persecution and danger, in adversity and
tribulations, and in the thick of enemies in the battles of Uhud and
Hunain,complete faith and trust in Allah (swt)appears as the dominant
feature in his life. However great the danger that confronted him, he
never lost hope and never allowed himself to be unduly agitated. Abu
Talib knew the feelings of the Quraish when the Prophet (pbuh) started
his mission. He also knew the lengths to which the Quraish could go,
and requested the Prophet (pbuh) to abandon his mission, but the
latter calmly replied,
"Dear uncle, do not go by my loneliness. Truth will not go unsupported
for long. The whole of Arabia and beyond will one day espouse its
cause." (Ibn Hisham, Sirat-ur-Rasul.)
When the attitude of the Quraish became more threatening, Abu Talib
again begged his nephew to renounce his mission but the Prophet's
(pbuh) reply was:
"O my uncle, if they placed the sun in my right hand and the moon in
my left, to force me to renounce my work, verily I would not desist
thereform until Allah made manifest His cause, or I perished in the
attempt." (Ibid)
To another well-wisher, he said, "Allah will not leave me forelorn."
A dejected and oppressed disciple was comforted with the words:
"By Allah, the day is near when this faith will reach its pinnacle and
none will have to fear anyone except Allah." (Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari)
It was the same trust in Allah (swt) which emboldened the Prophet
(pbuh) to say hisprayers openly in the haramin the teeth of
opposition. The Quraish were once collected there and were conspiring
to put an end to his life when he next entered the haram. His young
daughter Fatima, who happened to overhear their talk rushed weeping to
her father and told him of the designs of the Quraish. He consoled
her, did his ablutions and went to the Kaaba to say prayers. There was
only consternation among the Quraish when they saw him (Ahmed, Musnad,
Vol. 1, pg. 368).
Then leaving his house for Madinah he asked Ali (ra) to sleep on his
bed and told him,
"Do not worry, no one will be able to do you any harm" (Tabari, Ibn Hisham)
Even though the enemies had surrounded the house, he left the house
reciting the Quranic verse:
"We have set a barricade before them and a barricade behind them and
(thus) have covered them so that they see not" (translation of Qur'an
36:9 )
Abu Bakr was frightened when pursuers came close to the cavern in
which he and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) were hiding during their flight,
but the Prophet (pbuh) heartened him, "Grieve not. Allah is with us."
A guard was kept at the Prophet's house in Madinah because of the
danger that surrounded him but he had it withdrawn when the Quranic
verse was revealed:
"Allah will protect you from the people" (translation of Qur'an 5:67).
A man was caught waiting in ambush to assault the Prophet (pbuh) but
he was directed to be released with the words,
"Even if this man wanted to kill me, he could not." (Ahmed, Musnad,
Vol.3 pg. 471)
A Jewess from Khaibar had put poison in the Prophet's (pbuh) food. He
spat it out after taking a morsel but a disciple who had his fill died
the next day. The Jewess was brought before the prophet (pbuh) who
questioned her:
"Why did you do this?" "To kill you," was her defiant reply. She was
told, "Allah would not have allowed you to do it." (Muslim, Sahih
Muslim.)
In the battle of Uhud when the rear guard action of the Makkan army
had disorganized the Muslim army and had turned the tables, the
Prophet (pbuh) stood as firm as a rock even though he had suffered
personal injuries. When Abu Sufiyan taunted the Muslims and shouted
"Victory to hubal!" (hubal was one of their idols), the Prophet (pbuh)
asked Umar (ra) to shout back, "Allah is our protector and friend. You
have no protector and friend. Allah is Great, Magnificent." (Ibn
Hisham, Sirat-Ur-Rasul).
Again in the battle of Hunain, when the unexpected assault of the army
had swept the Muslim force off its feet and a defeat seemed imminent,
the Prophet (pbuh) did not yield ground. With trust in Allah (swt) he
showed such courage that the Muslim army rallied behind him to win a
signal victory.
Justice
The Prophet (pbuh) asked people to bejust and kind. As the supreme
judge and arbiter, as the leader of men, as generalissimo of a rising
power, as a reformer and apostle, he had always to deal with men and
their affairs. He had often to deal with mutually inimical and warring
tribes when showing justice to one carried the danger of antagonizing
the other, and yet he never deviated from the path of justice. In
administering justice, he made no distinction between believers and
nonbelievers, friends and foes, high and low.
From numerous instances reported in the traditions, a few are given below.
*.Sakhar, a chief of a tribe, had helped Muhammad (pbuh) greatly in
the seige of Taif, for which he was naturally obliged to him. Soon
after, two charges were brought against Sakhar: one by Mughira of
illegal confinement of his (Mughira's) aunt and the other by Banu
Salim of forcible occupation of his spring by Sakhar. In both cases,
he decided against Sakhar and made him undo the wrong. (Abu Dawud,
Sunan Dawud, pg.80)
*.Abdullah Bin Sahal, a companion, was deputed to collect rent from
Jews of Khaibar. His cousin Mahisa accompanied him but, on reaching
Khaibar, they had separated. Abdullah was waylaid and done to death.
Mahisa reported this tragedy to the Prophet (pbuh) but as there were
no eye-witnesses to identify the guilty, he did not say anything to
the Jews and paid the blood-money out of the state revenues (Bukhari,
Sahih Bukhari Nasai).
*.A woman of the Makhzoom family with good connections was found
guilty of theft. For the prestige of the Quraish, some prominent
people including Asama Bin Zaid interceded to save her from
punishment. The Prophet (pbuh)refused to condone the crimeand
expressed displeasure saying,
"Many a community ruined itself in the past as they only punished the
poor and ignored the offences of the exalted. By Allah, if Muhammad's
(My) daughter Fatima would have committed theft, her hand would have
been severed." (Bukhari, Sahh Bukhari, Chapter "Alhadood")
*.The Jews, in spite of their hostility to the Prophet (pbuh), were so
impressed by hisimpartiallityandsense of justicethat they used to
bring their cases to him, and he decided them according to Jewish law.
(Abu Dawud, Sunan Dawud)
Once, while he was distributing the spoils of war, people flocked
around him and one man almost fell upon him. He pushed the men with a
stick causing a slight abrasion. He was so sorry about this that he
told the man that he could have his revenge, but the man said, "O
messenger of Allah, I forgive you." (Abu Dawud, Kitablu Diyat).
*.In his fatal illness, the Prophet (pbuh) proclaimed in a concourse
assembled at his house that if he owed anything to anyone the person
concerned could claim it; if he had ever hurt anyone's person, honor
or property, he could have his price while he was yet in this world. A
hush fell on the crowd. One man came forward to claim a few dirhams
which were paid at once. (Ibn Hisham, Sirat-ur-Rasul)
Equality
Muhammad (pbuh) asked people to shun notions of racial, family or any
other form of superiority based on mundane things and said that
righteousness alone was the criterion of one's superiority over
another. It has already been shown how he mixed with everyone on equal
terms, how he ate with slaves, servants and the poorest on the same
sheet (a practice that is still followed in Arabia), how herefused all
privilegesandworked like any ordinary laborer.
Two instances may, however, be quoted here:
1.Once the Prophet (pbuh) visited Saad Bin Abadah. While returning
Saad sent his son Quais with him. The Prophet (pbuh) asked Quais to
mount his camel with him. Quais hesitated out of respect but the
Prophet (pbuh) insisted: "Either mount the camel or go back." Quais
decided to go back. (Abu Dawud, Kitabul Adab)
2.On another occasion he was traveling on his camel over hilly terrain
with a disciple, Uqba Bin Aamir. After going some distance, he asked
Uqba to ride the camel, but Uqba thought this would be showing
disrespect to the Prophet (pbuh). But the Prophet (pbuh) insisted and
he had to comply. The Prophet (pbuh) himself walked on foot as he did
not want to put too much load on the animal. (Nasai pg. 803)
The prisioners of war of Badr included Abbas, the uncle of the Prophet
(pbuh). Some people were prepared to forgo their shares and remit the
Prophet's (pbuh) ransom but he declined saying that he could make no
distinctions. (Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari, Chapter "Ransoms")
During a halt on a journey, the companions apportioned work among
themselves for preparing food. The Prophet (pbuh) took upon himself
the task of collecting firewood. His companions pleaded that they
would do it and that he need not take the trouble, but he replied,
"It is true, but I do not like to attribute any distinction to myself.
Allah does not like the man who considers himself superior to his
companions." (Zarqani, Vol 4 pg. 306)
Kindness to animals
The Prophet (pbuh) not only preached to the people to show kindness to
each other but also to all living souls. He forbade the practice of
cutting tails and manes of horses, of branding animals at any soft
spot, and of keeping horses saddled unnecessarily (Muslim, Sahih
Muslim). If he saw any animal over-loaded or ill-fed he would pull up
the owner and say,
"Fear Allah in your treatment of animals." (Abu Dawud, Kitab Jihad).
A companion came to him with the young ones of a bird in his sheet and
said that the mother bird had hovered over them all along. He was
directed to replace her offspring in the same bush (Mishkat, Abu
Dawud)
During a journey, somebody picked up some birds eggs. The bird's
painful note and fluttering attracted the attention of the Prophet
(pbuh), who asked the man to replace the eggs (Bukhari, Sahih
Bukhari).
As his army marched towards Makkah to conquer it, they passed a female
dog with puppies. The Prophet (pbuh) not only gave orders that they
should not be disturbed, but posted a man to see that this was done.
He stated,
"Verily, there is heavenly reward for every act of kindness done to a
living animal."
Love for the poor
The Prophet (pbuh) enjoined upon Muslims to treat the poor kindly and
to help them with alms, zakat, and in other ways. He said:
"He is not a perfect muslim who eats his fill and lets his neighbor go hungry."
He asked, "Do you love your Creator? Then love your fellow beings first."
*.Monopoly is unlawful in Islam and he preached that "It is diffucult
for a man laden with riches to climb the steep path that leads to
bliss."
*.He did not prohibit or discourage the aquisition of wealth but
insisted that it be lawfully aquired by honest means and that a
portion of it would go to the poor. He advised his followers "To give
the laborer his wages before his perspiration dried up."
*.He did not encourage beggary either and stated that "Allah is
gracious to him who earns his living by his own labor, and that if a
man begs to increase his property, Allah will diminish it and whoever
has food for the day, it is prohibited for him to beg."
*.To his wife he said, "O Aysha, love the poor and let them come to
you and Allah will draw you near to Himself." (Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari)
One or two instances of the Prophet's (pbuh) concern for the poor may
be given here. A Madinan, Ibad Bin Sharjil, was once starving. He
entered an orchard and picked some fruit. The owner of the orchard
gave him a sound beating and stripped off his clothes. The poor man
appealed to the Prophet (pbuh) who remonstrated the owner thus: "This
man was ignorant, you should have dispelled his ignorance; he was
hungry, you should have fed him." His clothes were restored to the
Madinan and, in addition, some grain was given to him (Abu Dawud,
Kitabul Jihad).
A debtor, Jabir Bin Abdullah, was being harassed by his creditor as he
could not clear his debt owing to the failure of his date crop. The
Prophet (pbuh) went with Jabir to the house of the creditor and
pleaded with him to give Jabir some more time but the creditor was not
prepared to oblige. The Prophet (pbuh) then went to the oasis and
having seen for himself that the crop was really poor, he again
approached the creditor with no better result. He then rested for some
time and approached the creditor for a third time but the latter was
adamant. The Prophet (pbuh) went again to the orchard and asked Jabir
to pluck the dates. As Allah would have it, the collection not only
sufficed to clear the dues but left something to spare (Bukhari, Sahih
Bukhari).
His love for the poor was so deep that he used to pray:
"O Allah, keep me poor in my life and at my death and raise me at
resurrection among those who are poor." (Nasai, Chapter: Pardon)

Points to Ponder: Our Attitude Towards Allaah The Almighty

Dear sister, attitude is the practical application of the deeds of the
heart. Since the deeds of the heart principally take place in the
heart, they are hidden and thus, no one can see what is in the heart
including truthfulness, sincerity, love for Allaah The Almighty,
submission to Him, fear of Him, glorifying of Him, and other acts of
the heart. Hence, what is the only way to know whether these acts of
the heart are practiced and to know their reality? The way to know
that is the physical application as manifested by the work of the
bodily organs. If there is sincerity in the heart in acts of worship
being done for the sake of Allaah The Almighty, this sincerity
overflows to the entire body, and consequently the body moves in the
way that is dictated by the heart of the sincere person who loves
Allaah The Almighty.
Thus, your attitude is what you say, what you do, what you wear, how
you deal with the texts of the Quran and with the commands of the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and his instructions. This
attitude is a living, outward and tangible reflection of the faith,
feelings, exalting and glorifying of Allaah The Almighty, which are
concealed in the heart.
Can you imagine the existence of truthfulness, sincerity, love for
Allaah The Almighty, fear of Him, and glorifying Him in the heart of a
woman whose attitude, upon leaving her country and when still on the
airplane without setting her feet on the land of the country she is
traveling to, is that she removes her cloak and Hijaab )Islamic
covering(, folds them as if there has never been any affection between
her and both of them, and thrusts them in her handbag -- like a person
who hides something evil, then she exposes her beauty? I ask you, dear
sister, to answer me with all honesty: Can you imagine any
truthfulness and sincerity existing in the heart of a woman who acts
like that? Can you imagine that she, inside her heart, exalts Allaah
The Almighty and glorifies His orders and prohibitions? Can you
imagine that she, inside her heart, loves what Allaah The Almighty
loves?
Removing the Hijaab and neglecting its correct form that is approved
by the Sharee'ah )Islamic legislation( is a disgraceful attitude from
which I ask Allaah The Almighty to protect you. This represents a
worldly attitude, while in fact; attitude cannot be separated from
what is concealed in the heart, because the heart is that which
generates attitude. This is the plain truth regardless of what the
arrogant people think. This also conforms with the saying of the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam:"In the body there is a piece
of flesh which, if it is sound, the entire body will be sound, and if
it is corrupt, the entire body will be corrupt. It is the heart."
Here I remind you that we have agreed on the broad and comprehensive
concept of worship and that you understand it well. Worship is not a
question of merely praying and fasting, for it is greater than this
and has wider dimensions. To worship Allaah The Almighty is to submit
totally to Him and to acknowledge His Lordship in terms of being The
Creator, The Sustainer, and The Owner of everything, and that He
exclusively owns the right to issue orders and prohibitions as
indicated by the verse )which means(:}Unquestionably, His is the
creation and the command.{]Quran 7:54[ By taking this first step, you
will move on to the second step by submitting to the orders of Allaah
The Almighty:}We hear and we obey. ]We seek[ Your forgiveness, our
Lord, and to You is the ]final[ destination.{]Quran 2:285[
Hence, the submission that entails listening and obedience is the
inevitable outcome of our complete belief in the Lordship of Allaah
The Almighty. Therefore, you find that Allaah The Almighty swears by
His great and Holy Self about this matter. Allaah The Almighty swears
by His own Self only about things that are very great. This great
matter is the truthfulness of people's submission to the divine
rulings and commandments. Allaah the Almighty Says )what means(:}But
no, by your Lord ]here Allaah The Almighty swears by His exalted
Self[, they will not ]truly[ believe until they make you, ]O
Muhammad[, judge concerning that over which they dispute among
themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you
have judged and submit in ]full, willing[ submission.{]Quran 4:65[

Women site, - Hijab is Obligatory: Evidences from the Quranand Sunnah

Wearing the Hijaab )Islamic covering( is a great act of worship and
one of the most important obligations in Islam, as Allaah The Almighty
has ordained it in His Book and has forbidden its opposite, which is
uncovering and dressing improperly. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi
wa sallam, commanded it in his Sunnah )tradition( and forbade its
opposite. Moreover, it is the consensus of the Muslim scholars
throughout the ages that the Hijaab is mandatory. Therefore, claiming
that this act of worship )i.e., the Hijaab( was only obligatory in a
certain period of history is baseless and the burden of proof is upon
those who make this baseless claim.
As for the proof of the obligation of Hijaab in Islam, the following
evidences clearly prove the obligatory nature of the Hijaab, and
silence anyone who claims that it is an inherited tradition, or that
it was only obligatory for the early Muslims.
Evidences from the Quran:
•}"And tell the believing women to reduce ]some[ of their vision and
guard their private parts and not display their adornment except that
which ]ordinarily[ appears thereof and to draw their head covers over
their chests and not to display their adornments ]i.e., beauty[ except
to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons,
their husband's sons, their brothers, their brother's sons, their
sister's sons, their women, that which their right hands possess
]i.e., slaves[, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or
children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And
let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their
adornment. And turn to Allaah in repentance, all of you, O believers,
that you might succeed.''{]Quran, 24: 30[
'Aa'ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said,
"May Allaah have mercy upon the early women of Muhaajireen )the
emigrants who came from Makkah(! When Allaah revealed )what
means(:}"And tell the believing women to reduce ]some[ of their vision
and guard their private parts and not display their adornment except
that which ]ordinarily[ appears thereof and to draw their head covers
over their chests and not to display their adornments ]i.e., beauty[
except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers,
their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers, their brother's
sons, their sister's sons, their women, that which their right hands
possess ]i.e., slaves[, or those male attendants having no physical
desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of
women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they
conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allaah in repentance, all of
you, O believers, that you might succeed "{]Quran, 24: 30[ they tore a
part of their garments and drew it down over their heads to cover
themselves." ]Al-Bukhaari[
•}"And women of post-menstrual age who have no desire for marriage –
there is no blame upon them for putting aside their outer garments
]but[ not displaying adornment. But to modestly refrain ]from that[ is
better for them. And Allaah is Hearing and Knowing."{]Quran, 24: 60[.
•}"O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the
believers to bring down over themselves ]part[ of their outer
garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be
abused. And ever is Allaah Forgiving and Merciful."{]Quran, 33: 59[
•}"And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves )adornments(
like that of the times of Jaahiliyyah )i.e., the pre-Islamic
era(."{]Quran, 33: 33[
Evidences from the Sunnah:
1. 'Aa'ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, narrated that 'Umar, may
Allaah be pleased with him, said to the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi
wa sallam, "'O Messenger of Allaah! Why don't you command your wives
to cover themselves?' Then Allaah revealed the verse which obligates
Hijaab." ]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[.
2. Ibn 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"On the Day of
Resurrection, Allaah will not look at the one who drags his garment
)below his ankles( out of pride."Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased
with her, therefore asked, "What should women do with their dresses?"
He, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, replied:"They should only lower it
a hand-span )below the ankles(."She then replied, "But then their feet
would be uncovered )while walking(." So he, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, said:"Then they should lower it by an arm's length."]Abu
Daawood and Tirmithi[

Women site, - Morals and Zakah

Hardly ever is prayer mentioned in the Noble Quran without being
associated with Zakah. Zakah is the inseparable twin of prayer in the
Book of Allah The Almighty and the Sunnah of His messenger, sallAllahu
'alayhi wa sallam, as well. Zakah is like prayer in terms of its
relation to morals. The payer of Zakah offers it out of obedience to
his Lord, abiding by His commands, warding off devils, relieving
oneself from being questioned about the obligation of Zakah on the Day
of Judgment. Zakah increases one's wealth, allows him to help the poor
and needy, protects him from meanness and curbs his sinful desires. It
helps spread an atmosphere of love, intimacy and affection among
Muslims and creates a close bond between the rich and poor within the
Muslim community. The payer of Zakah relishes the pleasure and
satisfaction of the heart as he obeys the commands of Allah The
Exalted. Thus, he is keen not to delay paying the due Zakah and is
diligent in giving it to its eligible recipients. Allah The Exalted
Says )what means(:}Take, ]O, Muhammad[, from their wealth a charity by
which you purify them …{]Quran 9:103[
When Muslims fully grasp this, they find themselves willing not only
to pay the due Zakah, but also to spend in charity according to their
abilities even if this was not obligatory upon them. This renders them
eager to give in charity and help others in all possible ways and it
indicates the purity of their hearts andthe spiritual elevation of
their souls.
The Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Smiling in
the face of your brother is charity, enjoining good and forbidding
evil is charity, guiding a lost man in a foreign land is charity,
guiding the blind is charity, removing harmful things, thorns and
bones from a road is regarded as charity and pouring what is left from
your vessel into that of your brother is charity."
Hence, the close bond between Zakah and morals in Islam becomes clear.

Dought & clear, - He works as a nurse, which means that he may do some things that are not acceptable according to sharee‘ah

What is the permissibility of being a male nurse in a non muslim
country? Im currently studying to become a nurse and I'm worried about
several things concerning this career. Often times we need to feed
patients ( maybe even female patients) food that may contain pork
other haram foodstuff. Sometimes the patients are olso served alcohol.
We may also need wash the (female) patients and change their clothes.
Also in this country this is a predominantly femele occupation. In my
current practical training there only one other male. Only two of the
patients are male. Also all of my teachers and majority of my
classmates are female. We may also have to bring them activity which
may include (religious) music and non-muslim religious activities. I
also have to have a practical training period concerning female health
and maternity care where the patients will be female. Also in elderly
care 2/3 of the patients are female. I don't think it is possible to
work in this field and uphold all the religious teachings strictly and
work in this field at the same time. What is the ruling on this
matter? Could reply swiftly to my guestion so I can change my field of
study if it is necessary.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
The basic principle is that medical treatment of women should be done
by female doctors and nurses; if there are no female doctors or
nurses, it is permissible for them to be treated by a man, but that
should be in accordance with Islamic guidelines as mentioned in the
answer to question no. 127491
Secondly:
Free mixing between men and women is a great evil that leads to
serious negative consequences in both religious and worldly terms.
Similarly, work that involves serving pork and haraam drinks to people
is not permissible, because it comes under the heading of cooperating
in sin and transgression.
See the answer to question no. 3288
Thirdly:
According to what the questioner mentioned in his question, this work
is haraam and is not permissible, for the following reasons:
1.haraam mixing between men and women in school and work
2.offering pork and haraam drinks to patients
3.uncovering of 'awrahs and touching them unnecessarily, as there are
women around who can do these tasks
4.taking part in activities that include singing, music and mixing
5.treating women and taking care of them when there are female nurses
who could do that.
What you must do is look for work that is appropriate for you, far
removed from things that are contrary to Islam, and choose the best
and the next best, according to what you can do.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear, - Her mother wants her to marry one suitor, but her father thinks that he is not suitable; what should she do?

My Mum wants me to get married to someone who my Father thinks isnt
good for me and as you know men are the head of the family and I want
my dad to choose my life-partner than my mum so is this right?
Praise be to Allah.
Allah, may He be exalted, has given authority in the matter of
marriage to the man, so it is not permissible for a woman to arrange a
marriage for herself or for anyone else; rather her marriage must be
arranged by a wali or guardian. Women have nothing to do with
guardianship in marriage; rather that is only for men, and is
basically for the father, who takes precedence over others in
arranging the marriages of his daughters.
Imam Abu Bakr al-Qaffaal ash-Shaashi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The reason being – and Allah knows best –that women have a natural
inclination towards men and they are not able to judge people well,
and that could lead them to choose one who is not an appropriate
choice (for marriage),therefore Allah entrusted the woman's case, with
regard to her marriage, to her father. If the matter had been
entrusted to her, there would be the fear that she might marry someone
who is not compatible with her.
End quote from Mahaasin ash-Sharee'ah, 247. See also the answer to
question no. 2127
If the father has the right to guardianship in the case of marriage,
and the marriage contract cannot be done without him, then it is only
logical that his opinion should take precedence in the matter of
choosing a husband for his daughter, especially when he in most cases
will be better able to judge their character, thus he will be able to
find out about the suitor and reach the right conclusion.
But that does not mean that the mother has no say in choosing a
husband for her daughter; rather she should be consulted about the
matter and her opinion should be taken into consideration, because
perhaps it may be correct and some things may be apparent to her that
are not apparent to her husband.
To sum up:
The basic principle is that the father's opinion and choice takes
precedence over that of the mother, but that does not mean that the
mother's opinion should be ignored altogether; rather it should be
taken into consideration so so that she does not feel left out and to
convince her of the father's point of view, and that he is responsible
with regard to their daughter's marriage. Thus the choice is up to
your father, especially if he is known to be of sound reasoning, but
he should not make her feel left out; rather he should respect her
opinion.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear, - It is essential to respond to those who defame the Prophet (peace andblessings of Allaah be upon him).

There is no one among us who is unaware of what the Christians say
defaming the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and
we are not unaware either of the gheerah (protective jealousy) of the
young men of the Muslim ummah towards their religion and their Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Is it permissible to
respond to those who defame the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) by insulting the speaker, knowing that I insulted one of
them and some of my relatives advised me not to do that again, because
it will make them defame and mock him even more, so their sin will be
on me?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Defaming the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is a
kind of kufr. If that is done by a Muslim then it is apostasy on his
part, and the authorities have to defend the cause of Allaah and His
Messenger(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) by executing the
one who defamed him. If the one who defamed him repents openly and is
sincere, that will benefit him before Allaah, although his repentance
does not waive the punishment for defaming the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), which is execution.
If the person who defames him is a non-Muslim living under a treaty
with the Muslim state, then this is a violation of the treaty and he
must be executed, but that should be left to the authorities. If a
Muslim hears a Christian or anyone else defaming the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) he has to denounce him in strong
terms. It is permissible to insult that person because he is the one
who started it. How can we not stand up the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him)? It is also obligatory to report him
to the authorities who can carry out the punishment on him. If there
is no one who can carry out the hadd punishment of Allaah and stand up
for the Messenger(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) then the
Muslim has to do whatever he can, so long as that will not lead to
further mischief and harm against other people. But if a Muslim hears
a kaafir defaming the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) and he keeps quiet and does not respond for fear that this person
may then defame him even more, this is mistaken thinking. With regard
to the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
"And insult not those whom they (disbelievers) worship besides Allaah,
lest they insult Allaah wrongfully without knowledge"
[al-An'aam 6:108],
this does not apply in cases where they defame Allaah and His
Messenger(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) first. Rather
what is meant is that it is forbidden to insult the gods of the
mushrikeen first, lest they insult Allaah out of ignorance and enmity
on their part. But if they insult Allaah and His Messenger(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) first, then we must respond and
punish them so as deter them from their kufr and enmity. If we leave
the kuffaar and atheists to say whatever they want without denouncing
it or punishing them, great mischief will result, which is something
that these kuffaar love. No attention should be paid to the one who
says that insulting or responding to insults will make him more
stubborn. The Muslim has to have a sense of protective jealousy and
get angry for the sake of Allaah and His Messenger(peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him). Whoever hears the Prophet(peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) being insulted and does not feel any protective
jealousy or get angry is not a true believer – we seek refuge with
Allaah from humility, kufr and obeying the Shaytaan.
And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh 'Abd al-Rahmaan al-Barraak, Majallat al-Da'wah, Muharram, issue no. 1933.

For children, - Learn to control your anger and bad temper as per the teachings of Islam: Do Fingers Grow Back?

A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement,
his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny
paint.
The man ran to his son, knocked him away and hammered the little boy's
hands into a pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he
rushed his son to the hospital.
Upon taking a closer look, the man saw that his little boy had etched
the words, " I LOVE YOU DAD" on the truck.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he
finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he
innocently said, "Daddy, I am sorry about your truck." Then he asked,
"But when are my fingers going to grow back?"
Think about the story the next time you see someone spilled milk at a
dinner table or hear a baby cry. Think first before you lose your
patience and become angry with someone you love. Trucks can be
repaired. Broken bones and hurt feelings often cannot.
Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and
the performance. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make
mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage, anger and bad
temper will haunt us forever. Pause and ponder. Think before you act.
Be patient.
Always remember: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ANGRY, BUT YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO BE CRUEL.
Those who spend (freely) whether in prosperity or in adversity; who
restrain their anger and pardon men; And Allah loves those who do
good. ( Noble Qur'an, 3:134)

For children, - How a Little Boy Learned to Restrain His Anger and Bad Temper or Nails in the Fence

This is one of those timeless moral stories that teach the importance
of restraining bad temper or anger management as per the teachings of
Islam.
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him
a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he
must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy
had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he
learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily
gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his
temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all and
learned how to control anger and bad temper. He told his father about
it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for
each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the
young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were
gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said,
"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The
fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave
a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it
out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is
still there.
The next time you get angry with someone and are about to speak, ask
yourself if there was a way to say what you want to say with neutral
words. Often the habit of reacting angrily is just that - a habit you
learned when you were young and haven't questioned since. You might
have become blind to the effect it has on your life.
It is really so that the world reflects back your own attitude. If you
constantly wonder why people are angry at you, perhaps it is you who
treated them with anger first. Listen to the words and tone of voice
you use. And try; really try to speak neutrally to someone who is
angry with you. If you know it will be difficult, write the words down
first. Rehearse it in your mind. Decide on a prize you will get from
Allah (SWT) when you succeed.
Teach your mind intentionally to use respectful words. And you just
might find that life begins to feel a lot nicer - because people
aren't angry at you anymore.
Our Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)mentions the tonguebefore the hand. As
everybody knows, the 'wounds' caused by the tongue are deeper and more
hurtful than those caused by the hand. Besides, one is often prepared
to strike more readily, easily and more frequently with one's tongue
than with the hand. Slandering, backbiting, reproaching and other
similar ways of hurting people are commoner and more difficult to
avoid than hurt done by the hand. Further, if a person can refrain
from hurting with the tongue, he can more easily refrain from the
assaults by the hand. Again, defending oneself against physical
assaults is, in most cases, easier than against verbal assaults of, in
particular, backbiting and slandering. So, a true Muslim always
restrains his tongue as well as his hand from hurting others.