Sex in Islam, - Dealing With Premature Release

In my line of work, I often get asked by people what my most
frequently asked question is. This is easy -- it is by far "How do I
solve my premature ejaculation problems?" This week, we will look at
ways to cure this problem that plagues many men.
According to University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, lead
author of a comprehensive new US sex study, 31% of men and 43% of
women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction.
The study, published last year in the Journal of the American Medical
Association, was based on data from the 1992 National Health and
Social Life Survey, a collection of interviews with 1,749 women and
1,410 men aged 18 to 59.
One-third of men said they had recurring problems with climaxing too
early, 14 percent said they had no interest in sex and 8 percent said
they regularly experienced no pleasure from sex.
Women, on the other hand, were a different story. A third said they
regularly didn't want sex, 26 percent said they regularly didn't reach
orgasm and 23 percent said sex was not pleasurable.
Same Causes
In both sexes, these problems were attributed to emotional and stress
problems including poor health, poor quality of life and prior
traumatic sexual experiences.
Although premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction,
it is very difficult for men to discuss. A man who can't get it up or
keep it up, understandably feels like less of a man. However, it
should not be this way. If more men were willing to talk about their
problem, it would be easier to accept, knowing that they are not
alone.
Often, men are not sure what is considered premature ejaculation. The
average male takes less than 3 minutes from the time of insertion till
he ejaculates.
According to the technical definition, it is ejaculation that occurs
prior to when a man wishes, or too quickly during intercourse to
satisfy the partner. This usually leads to the loss of a usable
erection for the simple reason that their discharge has temporarily
released a state of elevated sexual tension.
Although the complaint is usually stated in terms of time, this is
because it is the only way to measure and compare. The issue, however,
is really about control of the ejaculatory process and releasing when
you feel ready. Men are usually more upset about the lack of a vote or
influence over when they ejaculate.
One man might feel proud to last ten minutes, while this may be too
short for another. Like the saying goes,one man's trash is another
man's treasure.
Learned Behavior
From the point of view of reproduction, early release is not a major
problem. Lasting longer in bed serves no known genetic function. It is
something that we must learn to do, as opposed to being innate.
First, one must understand what is happening to his body when he
ejaculates. Orgasm consists of two stages. The first begins with the
prostate gland, which encircles the urethra like a tiny donut above
the base of the penis. This contracts and releases its fluids, along
with the contents of the seminal vesicle, into the urethra.
The second phase occurs when the pelvic muscle contracts strongly
around the bulb, forcing the fluid out under considerable pressure.
Men should be aware that it is possible to ejaculate without having an
orgasm and vice versa.
Therapy Helps
The good news is that this is a problem that is highly curable,
providing the man is willing to get help and invest the time and
effort needed. It is believed that 80-90% of men are able to learn
better control through therapy.
The first step to lasting longer is to become familiar with one's
self. Be comfortable with your body, its sensations and the feelings
leading up to orgasm. You should learn and be able to predict when the
orgasm will occur. This will prevent it from creeping up on you and
taking you by surprise. This will also help you do what is necessary
to prevent you from reaching that "point of no return."
The "stop and start" method involves bringing yourself just before the
point of no return, and stopping all movement before it is too late.
When the urgency to ejaculate subsides, start thrusting again, and
repeat several times.
This can also be practiced using your partner's hand, mouth or even by
yourself. It may require some trial and error, as you may pass that
point accidentally.
Breathe In, Breathe Out
Many people are not aware of it, but proper breathing can help develop
ejaculatory control. This is because taking a few deep breaths can
help you relax and calm the arousal and tension that leads to quick
ejaculations. Practice deep, easy, relaxed breathing and relax your
entire body.
Communication is another key to long-lasting sex. Let your partner
know when you are getting close and what you can and cannot handle.
This will involve the use of actual words, since non-verbal cues are
easily misunderstood. "Stop," "Hold it," "Start," and "More," are
obvious choices and anything else that's short and clear, is
acceptable.
Other causes of premature ejaculation are anxiety, fear or discomfort
with your partner. Premature ejaculation is less likely to occur if
the couple knows each other well; feels comfortable with one another;
both partners are consenting; in a comfortable, relaxed and private
setting; and after contraception issues have been discussed.
Many men can also last longer the second time around, so perhaps this
can be incorporated into your love-making. If round one is short,
please her with some extended foreplay using your mouth, or with an
erotic massage during half-time until your soldier is ready for battle
once again.
Dream Cream
Desensitizing creams lessen the sensations felt by men during
intercourse so that they can last longer. The problem that many men
feel is that these creams make intercourse less pleasurable due to the
decreased stimulation.
Condoms reduce the amount of stimulation experienced during sex. Many
men find that a condom makes them last longer because of the decreased
stimulation. As you all know, condoms provide the best protection
against STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and pregnancy, so they
have added benefits.
The position of lovemaking may also affect a man's ability to last in
bed. The 'missionary' position, with the man on top, is not the best
position while attempting to control ejaculation. All men, however,
are different and some men find it harder to hold themselves when
their partner is in control.
Experiment and vary the positions according to what allows you to
control yourself better.
Pump It Up!
Finally, strong, well developed pelvic muscles will allow you better
control and make you more aware of what is happening in your nether
regions. Pelvic floor muscles are the ones used to stop and start
urination. Hold the muscles for three seconds, relax for three
seconds, and repeat ten times.
You can do this at anytime and in anyplace. Eventually, you should be
able to work your way up to 100 ten-second contractions per day.
Premature ejaculation can be easily countered with patience, effort
and knowledge. Informing yourself is the first step, and once you know
about the problem, you are halfway there. Overcoming the mental and
physical aspects of this problems are also much easier if both
partners are involved, aware of the situation and open to discuss it.
Once again, communication will be your strongest asset. Good luck to
you all, and the questions and answers will return next week.

Sex in Islam, - Dealing With Impotence: I Just Can't Get It Up!

Dinner was delicious, kissing was malicious, her scent was inviting,
and the foreplay was exciting. But when it came time to show her who
the man was, the little soldier stayed in hiding.
There comes a time in a man's life where he must face up to the fact
that his best friend will let him down. This is probably the time in a
man's life where his self-esteem is most vulnerable.
Impotence
When just a single incident occurs, the best thing to do is forget
about it. There is no reason for a man to worry about something that
almost all men experience a few times in their lives.
Problems arise when this difficulty starts occurring regularly. Men
afflicted with repeated impotence tend to be middle-aged and older,
with a condition most common in men 60 years of age and older.
Regardless of the age, many men who have this problem can be treated
successfully.
Causes of dysfunction
Impotence results from a wide variety of problems. As with any other
ailment, when a person begins having this problem repeatedly, he needs
to see a doctor. The doctor will want to rule out the possibility of
disease, injury, or side effects from medicine.
There are two basic causes of impotence:
*.Effects related to physically related diseases (Drugs and Diabetes).
*.Psychological
It is estimated that 50-60% of diabetic men have erectile dysfunction.
For diabetics, attention must be paid to a diabetic neuropathy - the
loss of vibratory sensations of the lower extremities.
Bladder dysfunction is correlated with erectile dysfunction.
Parkinson's disease and temporal lobe abnormalities are contributing
factors too. Men suffering from stroke and alcoholism are at very high
risk because of damage to the testicles in chronic alcoholism and the
loss of testosterone.
Aging is a tremendous factor in erectile dysfunction, often related to
a decrease in male hormones. Chronic renal insufficiency is another
potential cause. Many drugs used to treat high blood pressure that
comes with chronic renal insufficiency can cause erectile dysfunction,
and many drugs by themselves cause it.
Recreational drugs are a major cause of erection problems. The number
one drug is tobacco. Experiments show that even two cigarettes will
markedly decrease the blood flow to the penis if smoked before sex.
Marijuana and alcohol are also big causes of erection problems.
Prescription drugs are also a big culprit, especially those used for
treatment of high blood pressure. The major problem drugs include:
*.Estrogen: for men with prostate cancer.
*.Antiandrogens (flutamide): for men with prostate cancer.
*.Lupron: prostate cancer drug.
*.Proscar: for men with enlarged prostates, can decrease the volume of
ejaculate.
*.Diuretics: for men with heart disease and hypertension.
*.Methyldopa: older treatment for blood pressure.
*.Beta blockers: for heart disease and hypertension.
*.Calcium Channel Blockers: new treatments for hypertension.
*.Tranquilizers.
*.Decongestants.
*.Seizure Medications.
*.Drugs to lower Cholesterol.
*.Cimetidine: a drug for ulcers.
*.Digoxin- a drug for heart failure.
Note:DO NOT DISCONTINUE use of prescription drugs without first
verifying with your doctor.
Treatment options
Today's medical advancements have allowed successful treatments of
impotence through a variety of alternatives. A man and his partner no
longer have to deal with the void of sexual displeasures. A man that
suffers from repetitive erection loss should consult a specialist.
In general, the specialist will conduct a physical examination and
laboratory investigation. This will allow him to get a good handle on
the diagnosis, at which point he will proceed to explore the various
treatment options. The question is how should a man with erectile
dysfunction be treated in an era of vacuum pumps, penile injections,
medications and prostheses? You should consult your doctor for advice
on which treatment is best for you.
The treatment options should be specific towards the patient, his
partner, and what he wants to do about it. There are a couple of
factors that are considered when recommending a treatment. Some of
them are:
*.The patient's age.
*.The total health status.
*.Does the patient have good functioning of his lower and upper extremities?
*.Does this patient have numerous sexual partners?
*.Is the patient's partner involved in the decision making process?
*.What are the goals of the therapy?
Finding a specialist
The best way to find an impotence specialist is to look for a board
certified Urologist with an interest or additional training in
impotence. Usually, after identifying a Urologist in your area, a call
to the office will help you decide if the physician has the interest
and compassion to treat the problem.
It is important that you feel comfortable and trust your Urologist, so
don't be intimidated to ask to speak to the doctor to see if the "fit"
is right. Always ask about credentials and if the physician regularly
attends conferences to keep up on the changes. Usually, a physician
who is involved in clinical research is on the cutting edge. Here are
a couple of resources:
*.(Readers in the USA can call) Impotence Anonymous and I-ANON. Call
1-800-669-1603 for information on local support groups. Call
1-800-867-7042 for names of physicians in your area who have a special
interest in treating impotence.
*.In general, the local hospital or clinic will have a listing of the
support groups that can best provide the right sources to help the
individual suffering from impotence.
a little tip...
If your woman gives you the third degree for your erectile
dysfunction, play reverse psychology and ask her, "Why can't you get
it up for me?". Switching the roles will allow her to understand how
it feels to have her self-esteem attacked. Don't be condescending in
the process, but let her understand how you feel.

Sex in Islam, - Is Family Planning Allowed in Islam?

The question of family planning and birth control was discussed in
detail by the Majma al-Fiqh al-Islaami. They had twenty three scholars
research this topic and present their findings on this matter. The
participants involved represented many different trends and schools of
thought. Among the participants were Muhammad Ali al-Baar, Ali
al-Saaloos, Muhammad Saeed Ramadhan al-Booti, Abdullah al-Basaam,
Hasan Hathoot and Muhammad Sayid Tantaawi. Their proceedings, papers
and discussions may be found in Part One of the Fifth Volume of
Majallah Majma al-Fiqh al-Islaami (1988/1409 A.H.). These proceedings
are 748 pages all about the question of birth control and related
issues.
The following are important points related to the issue of birth
control in Islam. These were mentioned by some of the participants in
the above program:
The institution of marriage and the want to have children was the
custom of the best of creation, the prophets and messengers chosen by
Allah. Allah says about them
"And indeed We sent messengers before you and made for them wives and offspring"
(al-Raad 38)
The best example for the believers is the example of the prophet
Muhammad (saw), who married and had children. These prophets and
messengers are the people whom Muslims should look to emulate. Allah
says
"They are those whom Allah has guided. So follow their guidance"(al-Anaam 90)
They should be emulated and not the disbelievers of the West, whose
new lifestyles - mostly out of concern for enjoying this life or
obtaining as many worldly goods as possible - discourage women from
having more children.
Islam has forbidden celibacy, monasticism and castration for such
purposes. The prophet (saw) made this clear when he told those
companions who were considering acetic forms of life:"I pray and I
sleep; I fast and I break my fast; and I marry women. Whoever turns
away from my way of life is not from me."
The prophet (saw) not only encouraged marriage but he encouraged
marrying those women who are child-bearing. He stated:"marry the
loving, child-bearing women for I shall have the largest numbers among
the prophets on the day of Resurrection."(Recorded by Ahmad and ibn
Hibban.)
From the Islamic perspective, children are a gift and a blessing from
Allah. Allah mentions some of the bounties that He has bestowed upon
mankind in the following verse:"And Allah has made for you spouses of
your own kind and has made for you, from your wives, sons and
grandsons, and has bestowed upon you good provisions."(al-Nahl 72)
Allah also said:"Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of
this world."(al-Kahf 46)
The only true provider for all mankind is Allah. If Muslims follow
what Allah has prescribed for them, Allah will provide for them. Allah
has warned about killing one's children out of fear of poverty for
either parents or the child. Allah says:"Kill not your children
because of poverty - We provide sustenance for you and for
them"(al-Anaam 151)
Allah also says:"And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We
shall provide for them as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them
is a great sin"(al-Isra 31)
Hence, Muslims should never abort or kill their children out of fear
of poverty. It is Allah who provides for them.
Based on the above points and numerous others, the scholars who
participated in the research on this question came up with the
following resolution:
*.It is not allowed to enact a general law that limits the freedom of
spouses in having children.
*.It is forbidden to "permanently" end a man's or a woman's ability to
produce children, such as by having a hysterectomy or vasectomy, as
long as that is not called for by circumstances of necessity according
to its Islamic framework.
*.It is permissible to control the timing of births with the intent of
distancing the occurrences of pregnancy or to delay it for a specific
amount of time, if there is some Shariah need for that in the opinion
of the spouses, based on mutual consultation and agreement between
them. However, this is conditioned by that not leading to any harm, by
it being done by means that are approved in the Shariah and that it
not do anything to oppose a current and existing pregnancy.

Fathwa, - How to protect my reputation when people know Im not a virgin

Question:
I have had sex in the past, and I am aware that it was a sin. My
intention is to now wait until I am married before engaging in
intercourse again, but people are already aware that I am not a
virgin. Is there anything I can I can do to redeem my reputation from
an Islamic perspective, as I am worried that potentially marriageable
prospects will not consider me due to my past.
Answer:
In the name of Allah Most Merciful Most Compassionate
I pray you are well and in the best of health and iman.
You should make a sincere tawba and when the time is right Allah can
send you someone that your past won't matter to, only who you are
today and what you want to be tomorrow. So ask Allah for a righteous
husband and pray the Prayer of Need everyday until He does.
And Allah alone gives success.

Fathwa, - Female genital mutilation and the Koran

Question:
Are female genital mutilation and honor killing 2 practices that are
in any way advocated, condoned, or tolerated by Islam and the Koran?
Answer:
In the name of Allah Most Merciful Most Compassionate
I pray you are well and in the best of health and iman.
Absolutely not. As for female genital mutilation if the girl knew who
did this to her, she could sue that person for damages even if it was
after she had grown up.
As for honor killing, this must go through the courts, the Sacred Law
doesn't give individuals the right to kill someone like this and if
they do so, then they have committed a major sin and should be taken
to court for it. And Allah alone gives success.

Fathwa, - Impermissible seclusion (khalwa)& disability

Question:
I have a question on the issue of khalwa (seclusion). I would like to
know if there would be any dispensation on the ruling of khalwa in the
case of a person who has a disability. I suffer from a spinal
deformity which substantially impairs my agility and physical
capabilities. Taking this into account I would like to know if it
would still be haram for me to work with a non-mahram woman in a
shop/store where there may be considerable periods of time when I
would be alone with my non-mahram female colleague. The door of the
shop/store would be shut though unlocked and therefore accessible to
the general public. Please note that the extent of my disability is
such that I am not even capable of overpowering a mature child let
alone and adult female and I therefore honestly feel that I would pose
no physical threat to my non-mahrem colleague. I would however be
working in the same area of the shop/store as my colleague.
Answer:
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
Firstly, I pray that Allah Most High cures you and all of us from the
physical and spiritual ailments, and that he blesses you with the
quality of Sabr and records great reward in your book of deeds in
return of this disability that you have unfortunately been inflicted
with, Ameen.
As far as your question is concerned, it would be prohibitively
disliked (makruh tahriman) to remain alone (khalwa) in an enclosed
area/shop with a non-Mahram woman, even in your situation.
The meaning of being alone (khalwa) is when a man and a woman who are
not immediate family members (mahram) remain alone in a room or place
in a way that a third person is not easily able to enter upon them, or
it is not usually accessible to others. This also (according to the
scholars) includes a room/area, the door of which is closed, even if
it may not be locked. Yes, if the door remains open, then that would
not, in of itself, be considered Khalwa.
You state that you suffer from a spinal deformity which substantially
impairs your agility and physical capabilities, and that you are
incapable of overpowering an adult woman, but this, however, will not
legitimize remaining in Khalwa.
The reason being is that, the injunctions of Shariah are not based on
their legal wisdoms (hikma), rather on the legal reason (illah). As
such, even if one was sure of not falling into the unlawful, the act
will still remain unlawful.
Yes, if one�s disability has a direct connection with a particular
injunction, such as not being able to stand in prayer, etc, then one
will be permitted to take the dispensation (rukhsa) given by Shariah.
And Allah knows best

Kissing the Thumbs

الحمد للّٰه الذي نورعيون المسلمين بنورعين اعيان المرسلين، والصّلاة
والسلام علي نورالعيون سرورالقلب المحزون محمد نالرفيع ذكره في الصلاة
والاذان، والجيب اسمه عند اھل الايمان، وعلى اٰله وصحبه والمشروحة صدورھم
لجلال اسراره والمفتوحة عيونھم بجمال انواره، واشھد ان لاالٰه الا اللّٰه
وحده لاشريك له، وان محمّدا عبده ورسوله بالھدى ودين الحق ارسله صلى
اللّٰه تعالٰى عليه وعلٰى اٰله وصحبه اجمعين، وعلينا معھم وبھم ولھم يا
ارحم الراحمين اٰمين
When hearing the Muazzin proclaim, "Ash'hadu anna Muhammad
ar­-Rasoolullah" it is preferred (Mustahab) to kiss the two thumbs or
the shahaadat finger and place them on the eyes. There are many
spiritual, religious and worldly benefits associated to this, as well
as numerous Ahadith documenting its practice. Doing so is even
practiced by the Sahaaba, and Muslims everywhere perform it in the
belief that it is Mustahab. It is stated in the book, Salaat
al-Mas'oodi:
روي عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم انه قال من سمع اسمي في الاذان ووضع
ابھاميه على عينيه فانا طالبه في صفوف القيمه و قائده الى الجنه
''The Noble Messenger is reported to have said, "On the Day of
Qiyaamat, I shall search for the person who used to place his thumbs
on his eyes when hearing my name during the Adhaan. I shall lead him
into Jannat."[Salat al-Mas'oodi, Vol 2, Chapter 20]
Allama Ismail Haqqi Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho writes under the verse 58
of Surah al Maidah,
وضعف تقبيل ظفرى ابهاميه مع مسبحتيه والمسح على عينيه عند قوله محمد رسول
الله لانه لم يثبت فى الحديث المرفوع لكن المحدثين اتفقوا على ان الحديث
الضعيف يجوز العمل به فى الترغيب والترهيب
"Kissing the nails of the thumbs and the shahadat finger when saying
"Muhammad ar­-Rasoolullah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has been
classified as weak (zaeef) because it is not proven from a marfoo'
Hadith. However, Muhadditheen have agreed that to act upon a zaeef
Hadith to incline people towards deeds and instill fear within them is
permitted."[Tafseer Rooh al-Bayaan, Vol 3, Page 282]
Shaami states,
يستحب أن يقال عند سماع الأولى من الشهادة : صلى الله عليك يا رسول الله
، وعند الثانية منها : قرت عيني بك يا رسول الله ، ثم يقول : اللهم متعني
بالسمع والبصر بعد وضع ظفري الإبهامين على العينين فإنه عليه السلام يكون
قائدا له إلى الجنة ، كذا في كنز العباد . قهستاني ، ونحوه في الفتاوى
الصوفية . وفي كتاب الفردوس من قبل ظفري إبهامه عند سماع أشهد أن محمدا
رسول الله في الأذان أنا قائده ومدخله في صفوف الجنة وتمامه في حواشي
البحر للرملي
"On the testimony (of Prophethood) in Adhaan, it is Mustahab to say
"Sallallaahu Alaika Ya Rasoolallah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam on the
first and "Quratu Aini bika Ya RasoolAllah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala on the
second. Then, place the nails of your thumbs on your eyes and say,
"Allahumma Matti'ni bis-Sam'i wal-Basr." The Holy Prophet SallAllaho
Alaihi wa Sallam will lead the person who does this into Jannat. The
same has been documented by Kanzul­lbaad, Qohistaani and in Fataawa
Soofia. Kitaabul-Firdaus states that the Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa
Sallam has said, I shall lead into Jannat the person who kisses his
thumbnails when hearing "Ash'hadu anna Muhammad ar-Rasoolullah. I will
also place him amongst the ranks of the inmates of Janna'. The
complete discussion on this has been given in the marginal notes on
Bahr ar-Raaiq of Ramli."[Radd al Muh'tar, Baab al-Adhan, Vol. 3, Page
233]
This extract has given the reference of 5 books Kanz al-Ibaad, Fataawa
Soofia, Kitaab al-Firdaus, Qohistaani and the marginal notes on Bahr
ar-Raaiq. All of them have ruled this practice to be Mustahab.
In the book "al Maqasid al Hasanah Fil Hadisil Atwirah Alas Sunnah".
Imam Sakhawi Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho states,
ذكره الديلمي في الفردوس من حديث أبي بكر الصديق أنه لما سمع قول المؤذن
( أشهد أن محمدا رسول الله ) قال هذا وقبل باطن الانملتين السبابتين ومسح
عينيه فقال ( من فعل مثل ما فعل خليلي فقد حلت عليه شفاعتي ) ولا يصح
"Dailmi reports that Hadrat Abu Bakr Siddique Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho
once said 'When I heard the Muazzin say Ash'hadu anna Muhammad
ar­-Rasoolullah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, I said the same, kissed
the inner-side of my Kalima finger and placed it on my eyes. When the
Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam noticed this, he said. My
intercession becomes obligatory upon he who does the same as my
beloved.' This Hadith hasn't reached the classification of Sahih."[al
Maqasid al Hasanah, Hadit 1021, Dar al Kutb Ilmiyah (Berut - Lebenon),
Page 384]
Quoting the book Moojibaat ar-RaHmah, Imam Sakhaawi Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala
Anho further writes.
عن الخضر عليه السلام أنه من قال حين يسمع المؤذن يقول أشهد أن محمدا
رسول الله مرحبا بحبيبي وقرة عيني محمد بن عبد الله ثم يقبل ابهاميه
ويجعلهما على عينيه لم يرمد أبدا
"It is reported from Hadrat Khidr Alaihis Salam , "If a person says
"Marhaban bi-Habibi Quratu Aini Muhammad ibn Abdullah" when hearing
the Muazzin say "Ash'hadu anna Muhammadur-Rasoolullah, then kisses his
thumbs and places them on his eyes, never will they (the eyes) be
sore."[al Maqasid al Hasanah, Hadit 1021, Dar al Kutb Ilmiyah (Berut -
Lebenon), Page 384]
He further writes that Abul Abbas Ahmad said that Muhammad ibn Baabaa,
narrating his personal experience, states.
أنه هبت ريح فوقعت منه حصاة في عينه فأعياه خروجها وآلمته أشد الألم وأنه
لما سمع المؤذن يقول أشهد أن محمدا رسول الله قال ذلك فخرجت الحصاة من
فوره
"Once, due to a heavy wind blowing, a pebble hit my eye and refused to
come out. I experienced major pain because of it." When Muhammad ibn
Baabaa heard the Muazzin say "Ash 'hadu anna Muhammad ar-Rasoolullah,
" he said this "Quratu Aini ... 'and, immediately, the pebble fell
out."[al Maqasid al Hasanah, Hadit 1021, Dar al Kutb Ilmiyah (Berut -
Lebenon), Page 384]
Allama Shams Muhammad ibn Saalih Madani Alaihis Salam reports Imam
Amjad to have said.
من صلى على النبي إذا سمع ذكره في الاذان وجمع أصبعيه المسبحة والابهام
وقبلهما ومسح بهما عينيه لم يرمد أبدا
"If the person who hears the name of the Noble Messenger SallAllaho
Alaihi wa Sallam in the Adhaan joins his Kalima finger and his
thumbs," "Kisses and places them on his eyes, never will they be
sore."[al Maqasid al Hasanah, Hadit 1021, Dar al Kutb Ilmiyah (Berut -
Lebenon), Page 384]
Imam Amjad Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho who was an accomplished scholar in
Egypt, further states,
بعض شيوخ العراق أو العجم أنه يقول عندما يمسح عينيه صلى لله عليك يا
سيدي يا رسول الله يا حبيب قلبي ويا نور بصري ويا قرة عيني وقال لي كل
منهما منذ فعله لم ترمد عيني
"Some non-Arab and Iraqi Mashaaikh have said that by this practice,
the eyes will never be sore." "From the time I have brought this into
practice even my eyes have not ached."[al Maqasid al Hasanah, Hadit
1021, Dar al Kutb Ilmiyah (Berut - Lebenon), Page 384]
Ibn Saalih Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho states,
وأنا ولله الحمد والشكر منذ سمعته منهما استعملته فلم ترمد عيني وأرجو أن
عافيتهما تدوم وأني أسلم من العمى إن شاء لله
"From the time I heard this benefit. I brought this action into
practice. Since then, my eyes haven't become sore and it is my hope
that, Insha-Allah, they will never be and I will be saved from being
blind."[al Maqasid al Hasanah, Hadit 1021, Dar al Kutb Ilmiyah (Berut
- Lebenon), Page 385]
Imam Hasan Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho states,
من قال حين يسمع المؤذن يقول أشهد أن محمدا رسول الله مرحبا بحبيبي وقرة
عيني محمد بن عبد الله ويقبل إبهاميه ويجعلهما على عينيه لم يعم ولم يرمد
''The eyes of he who says 'Marhaban bi-Habibi wa Quratu Aini Muhammad
ibn Abdullah' when hearing the Muazzin say "Ash'hadu anna Muhammad
ar-Rasoolullah and kisses and places his thumbs on them will never
pain nor will he become blind."[al Maqasid al Hasanah, Hadit 1021, Dar
al Kutb Ilmiyah (Berut - Lebenon), Page 385]
In short, the book alMaqaasid al Hasanah confirms this practice by
many Imams and Scholars of the Deen.
Sharah Niqaaya states,
واعلم انه يستحب أن يقال عند سماع الأولى من الشهادة : صلى الله عليك يا
رسول الله ، وعند الثانية منها : قرت عيني بك يا رسول الله ، وضع ظفري
الإبهامين على العينين فإنه عليه السلام يكون قائدا له إلى الجنة ، كذا
في كنز العباد
"It should be known that it is preferable (Mustahab) to say "Quratu
Aini bika Ya Rasoolallah and place the thumbs on the eyes when hearing
the first part of the second shahaadat. The Holy Prophet SallAllaho
Alaihi wa Sallam wilt lead the person who does so into Jannat. Kanz
al-Ibaad says likewise."[Jami' ar-Rumooz, Fasl al Adhan, Maktaba
Islamiya (Iran), Vol 1, Page 125]
Maulana Jamaal ibn Abdullah ibn Umar Makki Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho
states in his Fataawa,
تقبيل الابھامين ووضعھما على العينين عند ذكر اسمه عليه السلام في الاذان
جائز بل مستحب صرح به مشائخنا
"Taqbeelul-Ibhaamain (kissing and placing the thumbs on the eyes when
hearing the blessed name of Rasoolullah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam in
Adhaan) not just permissible, but Mustahab. Our Mashaaikh have
elucidated this."
Allama Muhammad Taahir Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho classifying this Hadith
as Ghair-Sahih, also states,
وروي تجربة عن كثيرين
"There are many reports of this benefit being experienced."[Khatima
Majma' BiHar al-Anwaar, Vol 3, Page 511]
There are many other quotations besides these that can also be
presented. For the sake of conciseness. we make do with only these.
Hadrat Sadr al-Afadhil, Maulana Sayyed Muhammad Na'eem al-Din
Muraadabadi states that a very ancient copy of the Injeel (New
Testament) has been discovered. It is known as the Gospel of Barnabas
and has been translated into almost every language. The majority of
its rulings and laws resemble Islamic commands. It's written inside
that when Hadrat Adam Alaihis Salam wished to see the Noor of the
Beloved Mustapha SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam (Rooh al-Quds). The Noor
was made bright on the nails of his thumbs. Hadrat Adam Alaihis Salam
then kissed and placed them on his eyes out of love and appreciation.
Besides the Ulama of the Hanafi Mad'hab, Ulama from the Shafee and
Maaliki Mad'habs have also ruled the kissing of the thumbs (Taqbeel
al-Ibhaamain) to be Mustahab. A famous Shafa'ee book of Fiqh,
I'aanatut-Taalibeen 'Alaa Hali alfaazi Fat'hil-Mu'een, states,
ثم يقبل ابھاميه و يجعلھما على عينيه لم يعم ولم يرمد ابدا
"Then kiss and place your thumbs on your eyes. By doing so, never will
you become blind nor will your eyes be sore,'[I'aanatut-Taalibeen,
Page 247, Egyptian Edition]
Another famous book of the Maaliki Mad'hab, Kifaayat at-Taalib
ar­Rabbani Ii Risaalati Ibn Abi Zaid Qeerwaani Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala
Anho, after saying much about this practice, states,
عينيه لم يعم ولم يرمد ابدا
"Never will the eyes of the person who does so pain, nor will he
become blind."[Kifaayat at-Taalib ar-­Rabbani, Vol 1, Page 169,
Egyptian Edition]
Shaikh Ali Saeed Adawi Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho writes in his
commentary of this extract,
لم يبين موضع التقبيل من ابھامين الا انه نقل عن الشيخ العالم المفسر نور
الدين الخراساني قال بعضهم لقيته وقت الاذان فلما سمع الموذن يقول اشھد
ان محمدا رسول الله قبل ابھامي نفسه و مسح بالظفرين اجفان عينيه من الماق
الي ناحيه الصدع ثم فعل ذلك عند كل تشھد مرة فسالته عن ذلك ففقال كنت
افعله ثم تركته فمرضت عيناي فرئيته صلى الله عليه وسلم مناما فقال لما
تركت مسح عينيك عند الاذان ان اردت ان تبرء عيناك فعد في المسح فاستيقظت
و مسحت فبرئت ولم يعاود في مرضھا الي الان
"The writer didn't mention when the thumbs should be kissed. However,
it is reported that some people met Allama Mufassir Nooruddin
Khorasaani Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho at the time of Adhaan. When he
heard the Muazzin say "Ash'hadu anna Muhammad ar-Rasoolullah he kissed
and placed his thumbs on the eyelashes and comer of his eyes, right
until the temples. He did this on every shahaadat. When the people
asked him about this practice of his, he replied, "I used to kiss my
thumbs but stopped after a while. My eyes later became sore. I then
saw the Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam in a dream and he
said to me, "Why did you stop kissing your thumbs and placing them on
the eyes during the Adhaan? If you want your eyes to stop paining,
resume this practice." Thus, from then on, I continued this action and
gained comfort. The pain didn't return from the time I recommenced
this."[Nahjul-Istamia, Page 177]
Important Note:Direct narrations and Ahadith have been presented
regarding this practice in Adhaan. Takbeer (lqaamat) is in the
likeness of Adhaan, and it has even been called Adhaan in the Ahadith.
Therefore, kissing and placing the thumbs during the Takbeer is also
beneficial and a means of blessings but during Salah or a Khutba or
whilst listening to the Qur'an it should not be done!
Not performing it during salah is evident and the impermissibility
during listening to the khutba or the Qur'an is because one should
have utmost attention at these times and refrain from any unnecessary
movements. When the verse Maa kaana muhammadun abaa ahadim mir
rijalikum is recited, so many people kiss their thumbs, it is as if
birds have gathered to sing and they do it to such an extent that
people from afar cannot even hear some words of the holy Qur'an. Even
if there is no harm to place the thumbs on the lips and then place
them on the eyes at this time; there is no ruling to make a sound
during the kiss of reverence – like when one kisses the black stone,
the ka'aba, the Qur'an or the hands and feet of the pious. There is no
rule to make the noises like a flock of birds.
Conclusion:
This entire discussion establishes that kissing and placing the thumbs
during the Adhaan, etc. is Mustahab. It is found as the Sunnat of'
Hadrat Adam Alaihis Salam, Abu Bakr Siddique Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho
and Imam Hasan Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho. Even Imams of the Shafa'ee and
Maaliki Mad'habs have ruled it to be Mustahab. In every era, Muslim
deemed this practice to have this very ruling, along with the
following benefits,
The eyes of a person who does this are saved from being sore.
1. Insha-Allah, he will never become blind.
2. It is an excellent cure to remove something problematic to the
eyes. These benefits have been experienced several times.
3. The Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam will intercede for the one
who practices this.
4. Sayyiduna Rasoolullah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam will also search
for the person who used to perform it and lead him into Jannah.
As long as no explicit proof of its prohibition is found, It cannot be
stopped. Muslims deeming something preferable (Mustahab) is sufficient
proof for it being so. However, for certification of Karaahat (i.e. to
deem something Makrooh), a specific proof is needed! So, Calling this
practice Haraam is sheer ignorance and an act of prejudice and
strait-mindedness of a person afflicted with the blindness of Faith
(Eiman). May Allah protect us from falling to this depth of depravity
and deviation from the right path... Aameen!!
والله سبحانه وتعالى اعلم ورسوله اعلم بالصواب
Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala and His Beloved Rasool Sallallaho
Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam knows the best!
Reference Books:
1. al-Ataya an-Nabawiyah Fi Fatawa ar-Radawiyyah [New 33 Volume
Edition], Vol 5, Page 429-436 by AlaHadrat Ash-Shah Imam aHmad Rida
al-Qadiri Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho
2. Munīr al-Áyn fī Ĥukmi Taqbīl al-Ibhāmayn by AlaHadrat Ash-Shah Imam
aHmad Rida Khan al-Qadiri Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho
3. Ja-AlHaq, Chapter 24 by Hakeem al-Ummah Hadrat Allama Mufti aHmad
Yaar Khan Naeemi Radi ALLAHu Ta'ala Anho

Wonders of Salat with Jamaat

Jama'at means congregation. When Muslims gather to offer prayers
(Arabic - Salah) in congregation, it is called Jama'at. It is led by
the Imam and the rest follow him (called muqtadees); there is a great
reward for offering prayer with the congregation.
1) Syedna Anas (Allah be well pleased with him) narrates that the
beloved Prophet (Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said,
"Whoever offers Prayer with Jama'at for forty days with the first
takbeer (start of Salah by announcement of Allah's name), two
salvations will be written for him: one from hell and one from
hypocrisy."
2) Syedna Abdullah ibn Umar (Allah be well pleased with them) narrates
that the beloved Prophet (Allah's blessings and peace be upon him)
said, "Salah offered with Jama'at is twenty-seven times greater than
Salah offered alone."
3) Imam Muhammad Ghazali (Allah's mercy be upon him) says, "Salah was
so important to oursalaf saliheen[pious predecessors] that if they
missed the first takbeer they would mourn for three days and if anyone
missed Jama'at then they would mourn for seven days." (Mukashifat
ul-Quloob)
4) Syedna Maymoon bin Mahraan (Allah's mercy be upon him) came to the
mosque. He was told that the Jama'at has finished. Upon hearing this,
he sadly said, "Thefazilat(excellence) of this [Jama'at] is better
than ruling over Iraq." (Mukashifat ul-Quloob)
5) Syedna Abu Hurairah (May Allah be well pleased with him) narrates
that the beloved Prophet (Allah's blessings and peace be upon him)
said, "If people knew what was [the reward] in the [calling of] Azaan
and [being a part of] the firstsaf[row of Jama'at] then they would not
get it without drawing names. So they would draw names [i.e., they
would compete for the honor of these two acts]. (Bukhari)
Thoughts and Points
6) Jama'at is compulsory for every sane and mature man who has the
ability to offer Salah. It is very important for the people living in
the vicinity of the mosque to attend the Jama'at.
7) To move closer to a mosque or madrasah (religious school) with the
intention of attaining Jama'at is a very commendable action. May Allah
give us the guidance to keep our mosques and Madrasahs alive. In fact,
keep this in mind when moving or buying a house.
8) If you live so far that you cannot drive or walk to the mosque or
madrasah comfortably then make sure to come for Jama'at at least once
or twice a day or week or more [based on distance and means of travel]
to at least earn the reward of coming for and praying with Jama'at.
10) One should not think 'I can't join the Jama'at, I am too busy with
school or work and family'. Such thoughts are from the devil or our
own ill- self. If you make the intention and effort, Allah-willing,
the hardships will go away.
11) Stand in thesaf(rows) shoulder to shoulder so that there is no
space left in between.
12) To wait for Salah has been called "Salah," so be punctual for the Salah.

Jewels of Quran

The Holy Prophet said:
1) The best of you is he who learns the Holy Quran and teaches it to
others. (Bukhari)
2) Undoubtedly, the heart gets rusted like metal gets rusted when
water goes over it. The people asked, "How can they [the hearts] be
cleaned?" The Prophet replied, "To remember death in abundance and to
recite the Holy Quran." (Mishkat)
3) That chest which does not have any Holy Quran in it is like an
abandoned house. (Tirmizi, Darmi)
4) Whoever read the Holy Quran and memorized it and believed its Halal
(permitted) to be Halal and its Haram (prohibited) to be Haram, Allah
will accept his intercession for 10 such people for whom hell had
become Wajib (compulsory). (Tirmizi, Ibn-e-Majah)
5) Whoever is an expert in reciting the Holy Quran (his reward) is
(recorded) with the Kiraman Katebeen (the recording angels). And
whoever reads the Quran with pauses and it is difficult for him, that
is, his tongue does not move easily and he recites with difficulty,
for him there is double the reward. (Saheeh Bukhari)
6) On the day of Judgement, the one who has memorized Quran will be
told to read and ascend and recite with Tarteel (clear and distinct
recitation) like you used to read with Tarteel in the world; your
place will be where you read your last Ayah. (Tirmidhi, Sunan Abu
Dawood)
7) Says Allah, "Whoever was kept busy with the [recitation] of Quran
from my Zikr and asking me, I will give him better than what I give to
those who ask and the excellence of the Word of Allah over all the
other words is like the excellence of Allah over all his creation.
8) Learn the Quran and read it because whoever learned the Quran and
read it and did Qiyam (stood in prayer) with it is like a bag filled
with Musk whose fragrance is spread everywhere and whoever learned the
Quran and slept that is he did not perform Qiyamul Layl (the night
prayer) is like a bag which is filled with Musk and its mouth has been
closed. (Tirmizi, Ibn-e-Majah, Nisaee)
9) Read the Quran when you heart feels affection and attachment and
when your heart becomes bored stand up - that is stop reciting the
Quran. (Saheeh Bukhari and Muslim)
10) Decorate the Quran with your (good) voices. (Mishkat)
11) O People of the Quran, do not make the Quran a pillow, that is do
not be lazy and careless, and read the Quran in the day and night – as
it is its right of Recitation, and spread it, that is, read with good
voices or do not take compensation for it, and whatever is in it,
reflect upon it - so that you may attain success, and do not hurry in
its reward because the reward for it is great (which will be given in
Akhirah). (Baihiqi)
Rewards for certain Surahs and Ayahs
The Holy Prophet said:
1) Surah Fatiha is a cure from every illness. (Darmi, Baihiqi)
2) Do not make your home a graveyard - the devil runs away from the
home in which Surah Baqarah is recited. (Sahih Muslim)
3) Whoever memorized the first ten ayahs of Surah Kahf will be saved
the Dajjal (the great impostor). (Sahih Muslim)
4) Whoever recites Surah Kahf on the day of Jumuah (Friday), there
will be a Nur (Light) created for him between two Fridays.
5) Everything has a heart and the heart of the Quran is Surah Yaseen.
Whoever recited Yaseen, Allah will write the reward of reading the
Quran ten times from him. (Tirmizi and Darmi)
6) Whoever reads Surah Yaseen for the pleasure of Allah, his past sins
will be forgiven so read this near your deceased. (Baihiqi)
7) (Reading) Qul hu WAllahu Ahad (Surah Ikhlas) is equal to [reading]
one third of the Quran. (Saheeh Bukhari)
8) Whoever reads Ayatul Kursi after every Fard Salah (obligatory
prayer), will be under the protection and security of Allah. (Dailmi
on the Authority of Sayeduna Ali)
9) (On the Day of Judgement) a caller will say O Recitor of Surah
An'aam, come to Paradise, for loving Surah An'aam and its recitation.
10) Surah Tabarak (Surah Mulk) saves one from Hell.
11) Whatever task is not begun with Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
remains incomplete and unfinished.
Etiquettes and Rules of Recitation:
1) To memorize one Ayah of the Quran is Fard-e-Aeen (compulsory) on
every duty-bound Muslim; to memorize the entire Holy Quran is
Fard-e-Kifayah (compulsory for one amongst a group); to memorize Surah
Fatiha and a small Surah or something similar like three small Ayahs
or one long Ayah is Wajib-e-Aeen (obligatory). (Durre Mukhtar)
2) To read the Holy Quran while looking at it is better than reading
without looking at it because in this case one touches the Holy Quran,
sees the Holy Quran, and reads the Holy Quran and all this is worship.
(Bahar-e-Shariat)
3) To read the Holy Quran in the restroom and such places of impurity
is not allowed.
4) It is prohibited to read the Holy Quran loudly for everyone
together in a gathering. However, it is necessary to read it loudly
enough so that one can hear what he/she is reading (if there is no
other distraction like noise). (Bahare-e-Shariat). If many children
recite it together in the madrassah (school), for learning purposes,
it is allowed.
5) It is better to read the Quran loudly if somebody praying,
sleeping, or somebody ill will not be distracted. (Gunyah)
6) If somebody is reciting the Quran incorrectly then it is Wajib
(obligatory) to tell him/her unless if one fears jealousy and hate.
(Gunyah)
7) To memorize the Holy Quran and then to forget it is a sin.
8) It is from the etiquettes of respecting the Holy Quran that one
does not put their back towards the Quran or spread their legs towards
the Quran or sit in a high place when the Quran is beneath. (Bahare
Shariat)
9) During recitation reflect on what you are reading. For example,
when reading about punishment, one should repent; when reading about
paradise, one should rejoice and pray for it.
10) Sajdah Tilwat (The prostration of recitation): If one hears or
reads the Ayat of Sajdah (prostration) he should stand with the
intention of performing the prostration and saying "Allahu Akbar",
fall into prostration and recite the Tasbeeh of Sajdah at least three
times. Then saying "Allahu Akbar", one should stand up. To say Allahu
Akbar both times is Sunnah. Similarly, to stand before and after the
Sajdah is Mustahab. (Durre Mukhtar)
Lastly, learn how to read the Quran in the company of a Qualified
Sunni Alim [and mature sisters must go to a qualified sister] who can
teach them how to read as this is necessary. At times, while reciting
many brothers and sisters unknowingly make mistakes in recitation
which change the meaning which breaks their Salah. Likewise, send your
children to Madrasahs where they may learn how to recite the Quran
with correct pronunciation and Qirat. If there is no Madrasah in your
town, then establish one. Knowledge of Islam leads one to love Allah
and helps build a good moral character within the Muslim community.
By learning the Quran, a Muslim saves his Salah, his Imaan, and his
Akhirah. Learning the Quran is not limited to just learning how to
recite the Holy Book, rather, it is a life- long process of learning
how to recite it and understand what the Quran says. The noble Ulema
have worked hard and written volumes of Tafseer (exegesis) which
consists of Ahadeeth, stories, and important points. After learning
the Quran, we must practice it and spread the word into our family and
community.

Women site, - The Dayyooth is deprivedof Paradise

The purifiedSharee'ahof Islam encourages good manners and forbids bad
ones owing to the harm that affects individuals and societies when bad
manners prevail.
The IslamicSharee'ahcame to guard the purity of progenies and to
protect people's honor against anything that would soil or transgress
them. Therefore, it sets the severest forms of punishment for anyone
who thinks of violating the honor of others. Allaah The Almighty Says
)what means(:}The ]unmarried[ woman or ]unmarried[ man found guilty of
sexual intercourse - lash each one of them with a hundred lashes, and
do not be taken by pity for them in the religion of Allaah...{]Quran
24:2[
This punishment is applied to unmarried persons. Married adulterers,
however, receive the punishment of stoning to death under
theSharee'ah. The IslamicSharee'ahalso prohibits marrying a person who
is known for practicing illegal sexual intercourse. Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:}The fornicator does not marry except a
]female[ fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a
fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the
believers.{]Quran 24:3[
Not only does theSharee'ahdo so, but it also raises the status of
guarding honor so high that a person who is killed in defense of his
honor will gain the degree of a martyr. The Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"A person who is killed in defense of his
honor is a martyr."
Moreover, theSharee'ahbrings up its adherents on being protectively
jealous about their honor: The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said about this attribute in a Companion of his:"Do you wonder at
Sa'd's jealousy? By Allaah, I am more jealous than him, and Allaah Is
more jealous than me..."
Indeed, there is no good in a person who has no protective jealousy,
for such a person moves towards Hell and distances himself from
Paradise. He also makes his honor vulnerable to assault from anybody.
This is the, who is he who does not feel jealous when his honor is
violated and who overlooks the indecency and immoral behavior of his
family while he knows that it is wrong to do so. By doing this, he
exposes himself to disgrace and humiliation.
Arabs and especially Muslims still venerate matters of honor. They
respect the person who defends his honor and female family members,
even if this means that he sacrifices his life and wealth. They guard
their honor with whatever wealth they may have, for there is no value
of any wealth when honor is lost. Moreover, if a person disregards
this, he will be worthless in this world and in the Hereafter, and
will be away from Allaah The Almighty. The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi
wa sallam, said:"Allaah The Almighty will not look at three persons on
the Day of Resurrection: a person who is undutiful to his parents; a
masculine woman; and the Dayyooth."]Saheeh[
This incurable disease does not afflict anyone but the person who
lacks a sense of honor and jealousy and whose faith is weak. He does
not care about non-Mahram)i.e., marriageable( men visiting his
womenfolk, intermixing with them, or them appearing unveiled before
them.
In fact, a person would be utterly shocked at seeing such "men" buying
clothes for their women that reveal more than they cover, or clothes
that are transparent and display the charms of the body. They are
happy that people look at the 'Awrah)nakedness( of their wives or the
women whom Allaah has made them responsible for. They boast of their
liberation from decency and virtue, and behave immorally and
indecently. Such a man is a corpse in the guise of a living person.
Al-Ghazaali, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,"If a person lacks
proper manly fervor, he is unlikely to react appropriately towards any
assault against his womenfolk or wife. He will submissively bear
humiliation from evil people and will have low self-esteem. This may
cause such a person to lack any feeling of protective jealousy
regarding his womenfolk. In this case, his offspring may become
adulterated. Therefore it is said: 'Once protective jealousy dies down
in the men of a particular nation, the chastity of its women will be
weakened.'"
Ath-Thahabi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,"A man who realizes
immorality in his wife and ignores it because he loves her, or because
he owes her money that he is unable to pay back, or because he owes
her a large dowry, or because he has young children from her, then
there will be no good in him for he lacks jealousy. A person who
possesses this attitude is the Dayyooth."
The Mass Media Encourages the
People may think that the mass media shape the Muslim's personality in
an upright manner, but the reality is the opposite. It is in fact one
of the greatest encouragers of theDayyoothand a destroyer of
protective jealousy. It broadcasts immoral pornographic scenes,
obscene advertisements and lewd songs. It beautifies such dissolute
men and women and presents them as examples. Women even chant their
love of a specific actor or singer in front of their husbands, fathers
and brothers, who have no reaction at all. In some media programs, a
married woman or a girl may call to express her love and adoration of
the actor, paying no attention to the reaction of her male relatives,
perhaps, because she is certain they will not object.

Women site, - O Parents! You Cannot Build Without a Model - I

Dear educator, you cannot build without a model as your child imitates
you and follows your steps literally.
Hence, when we speak about building faith, we have to speak about a
faith-boosting example first. Likewise, when we speak about building
the child's morals, first we have to speak about the moral role model.
When we speak about sacrificing for the sake of Islam, then we have to
speak first about the example, because this is the only way to get
things right.
Allaah The Exalted Says )what means(:
•}There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allaah an
excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allaah and the Last Day
and ]who[ remembers Allaah often.{]Quran 33:21[
•}There has certainly been for you in them an excellent pattern for
anyone whose hope is in Allaah and the Last Day. And whoever turns
away - then indeed, Allaah Is The Free of need, The
Praiseworthy.{]Quran 60:6[
Scientists say that children learn through imitation, since their
ability to observe and imitate during this stage is wonderful.
Scientists even describe it as a formation process in accordance
with an example followed by the child. Children learn speech through
imitation, listening and observation. They also acquire their
tendencies in life and learn the values and the right to choose, as
well as their traditions. In other words, children learn from the
behavior of those who are around them. Therefore, we )educators and
parents( should be more careful about what we do and what we say
because we are the role models for our children.
If the children lose the role model represented in their parents or
educators, then teaching will be of no use and all our efforts to have
a righteous generation from those children will be in vain. The reason
is simple: they see that our words and actions are not the same.
Values cannot be imposed on children, but good example is the only
thing that can attract them to these values.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And the good land - its
vegetation emerges by permission of its Lord; but that which is bad -
nothing emerges except sparsely, with difficulty. Thus do We diversify
the signs for a people who are grateful.{]Quran 7:58[
Good example does not mean mere words; rather, it comprises good
behavior and actions. If you want to attach your child to the mosque
or the Quran, first you have to be attached to them.
If you want to make your child observe Thikr )remembrance(, then you
should make frequent Thikr yourself.
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, attaches Ibn 'Abbaas to worship:
Ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
"I came to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, at
the end of the night and prayed behind him. He took my hand and drew
me to stand in line with him, and when the Messenger of Allaah,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, turned back to his prayer, I took a
step backwards. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, prayed, and when he had finished his prayer, he said to
me:'What is the matter? I made you stand in line with me, then you
took a step backwards!'I said, 'O Messenger of Allaah, is it right for
anyone to pray in line with you when you are the Messenger of Allaah
to whom Allaah The Almighty has given such a high status?' He was
pleased with me and supplicated Allaah The Almighty to bestow more
understanding and knowledge upon me."
He added, "I saw the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, sleeping
until he was breathing deeply. Then Bilaal, may Allaah be pleased with
him, came and told him that prayer had started. So, he went out and
prayed without making ablution again." ]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
Ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
"One day, I was riding behind the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, when he said:'O boy! I will teach you some words. Be watchful
of Allaah )commandments of Allaah The Almighty(, He will preserve you.
Safeguard His rights and He will be ever with you. If you beg, beg of
Him alone; and if you need assistance, supplicate Allaah alone for
help. Remember that if all people gather to benefit you, they will not
be able to benefit you except with that which Allaah has written )for
you(; and if all of them gather to do harm to you, they will not be
able to afflict you with anything other than that which Allaah has
written against you. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried
up."]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
This is what the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, did with
'Abdullaah ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him. He did not
tell him to wake up and pray, but he started praying and then took
'Abdullaah, may Allaah be pleased with him, beside him. In other
words, the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, provided the good
)and the greatest( example that taught the Habr ]Senior Scholar[ of
the Ummah )Muslim nation(, i. e., Ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased
with him(.
The importance of the "theory of attaching":
We saw how the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, led his
Companions through good example and how this good example affected
their personalities magnificently until we saw many of them as good
memorizers of the Quran and brave fighters in the cause of Allaah The
Exalted.
This proves that we should adopt the theory of attaching in
upbringing, because this theory is the practical interpretation of
"upbringing through example".
The attaching theory means linking the child to a true role model who
applies the morals to which we want to accustom our child. That is why
the righteous educator is very important and precious.
The righteous predecessors and Muslim kings used to bring educators to
their children and they used to choose the educators who were fit to
be role models for their children.
In his Muqaddimah, Ibn Khuldoon, may Allaah have mercy upon him, reported,
Haaroon Ar-Rasheed said to the educator of his son, Muhammad Al-Ameen,
'O Ahmad, the Commander of the Believers is entrusting )his son( to
you, the life of his soul and the fruit of his heart. Take firm hold
of him and make him obey you. Occupy in relation to him the place that
the Commander of the Believers has given you. Teach him to recite the
Quran. Instruct him in history. Let him transmit poems and teach him
the Sunnah )tradition( of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.
Give him insight into the proper occasions for speech and how to begin
)a speech(. Forbid him from laughing, except at times when it is
proper. Let no hour pass in which you do not seize the opportunity to
teach him something useful. However, do so without vexing him so as
not to kill his mind. Do not always be too lenient with him, or he
will get to like leisure and become used to it. As much as possible,
correct him kindly and gently. If he does not respond that way, you
must then use severity and harshness.'
'Abdul-Malik ibn Marwaan advised the educator of his children saying,
"Teach them to tell the truth just as you teach them the Quran and
accustom them to beautiful morals. Make them memorize poetry to be
brave and noble. Accompany them to the noble people and senior
scholars, but keep them away from the mean people and slaves, because
they are the most ill-mannered of all people. Respect them in public
and censure them in private. Beat them if they lie, because lying
leads to vice and vice leads to Hell."

Women site, - O Parents! You Cannot Build Without a Model - II

Dr. 'Ali Hassoon spoke about the upbringing of Sultan Muhammad Al-Faatih saying,
Since his succession to the throne of the Ottoman Empire in 855 A.H.
)1451 CE(, he was looking forward to the conquest of Constantinople
and thinking about it. He was raised by scholars who instilled love
for Islam in him and taught him how to adhere to the Quran and the
Sunnah )tradition(. So, he grew up with a strong love for Sharee'ah
)Islamic legislation(, adherence to piety, reverence for scholars and
affection for spreading knowledge. His sublime religiousness was due
to the religious upbringing that he received since his early childhood
in accordance with the directions of his father and with the help of a
number of senior scholars who supervised his education and upbringing.
Muhammad Al-Faatih was influenced by the righteous scholars since his
early childhood, particularly the senior righteous scholar, Ahmad ibn
Ismaa'eel Al-Kooraani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, who was known
for his virtue. This righteous man was the greatest teacher of
Muhammad Al-Faatih during his father's reign.
At that time, Muhammad Al-Faatih was the ruler of Magnesia, and his
father sent him a number of educators and teachers. However, he
disobeyed them and refused to let them teach him anything. He did not
even memorize the whole Quran. So, his father asked for a man with
gravity and seriousness and they told him about Al-Kooraani, may
Allaah have mercy upon him. Hence, he appointed him as the teacher of
his son and gave him a stick to beat Muhammad if he disobeyed him.
Al-Kooraani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, went to Muhammad with the
stick in his hand, and said, "Your father sent me to teach you and
beat you if you disobey me." Muhammad Al-Faatih laughed much when he
heard this, but Al-Koorani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, beat him
severely until he showed due respect for him and started memorizing
the Quran until he completed it within a short period.
This great leader was educated and brought up by scholars who provided
him with a true Islamic upbringing. Those revered educators used to
tear up the decrees of the Sultan if it contained anything that
contradicted the rulings of Sharee'ah )Islamic legislation(. They used
to address the rulers with their names. They never bowed before the
rulers or kissed their hands; on the contrary, the rulers used to kiss
their hands. Hence, it is not strange for such educators to graduate a
great leader like Muhammad Al-Faatih, who was a religious Muslim who
complied with the rulings of Sharee'ah and glorified it. He was a
righteous and pious ruler who consulted the scholars and asked them to
supplicate for him.
Dear educator, consider this extraordinary example Muhammad Al-Faatih,
who conquered Constantinople, and how his father brought him up in
accordance with this influential theory.
He attached him to the righteous scholar, who taught him the Quran.
Interestingly, Al-Kooraani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was not
the only influential scholar in the life of Muhammad Al-Faatih, but
there was another scholar )Aaq Shams Ad-Deen, may Allaah have mercy
upon him( who drew the attention of Muhammad Al-Faatih to conquer
Constantinople.
Sahl ibn 'Abdullaah At-Tustari learns from his uncle:
Al-Ghazaali reported that Sahl, May Allaah Have mercy upon them both, said,
I was three years old when I used to wake up at night to watch the
prayer of my uncle Muhammad ibn Siwaar. One day, he said to me,
"Should not you remember Allaah The Almighty who created you?" I said,
"How should I remember Him?" He replied, "Say in your heart, whenever
you are alone at night in your bed rolling from side to side, three
times without moving your tongue: Allaah is with me, Allaah is
Looking at me, Allaah is Watching me."
I did that and informed my uncle.
"Say the words seven times each night," he said to me.
I did that and informed him.
"Say them eleven times." I did that and found sweetness in my heart
therefrom. A year passed. Then my uncle said, "Remember what I taught
you and continue that practice until you go to the grave. The fruits
thereof will be yours in this world and the Hereafter."
Years passed, and I used the same words until their sweetness
penetrated the depths of my heart.
"Sahl," said my uncle, "As long as Allaah is with you and Sees you,
how can you disobey Him? Beware of disobeying Him."
Through this good instruction, guidance, and continuous training as
well as this religious upbringing, Sahl, may Allaah have mercy upon
him, became one of the senior righteous worshippers in the history of
Islam.
Finally, dear educator, you must be sure that the child who sees his
father lying can never learn truthfulness, and the child who sees his
mother cheating his father or his brother, will never be honest. The
child, who sees that his mother is heedless, will not learn
cooperation or adhere to discipline.
The family is the incubator that sows the early seeds of morals and
behavior in the child and shapes his emotions and feelings through the
behavior of its members.

Dought & clear, - There is nothing wrong with using the expression “by chance”.

Is it permissible to use the expression "by chance", such as saying,
"I went to the market and I met So and so by chance"?
Is this phrase "by chance" haraam or does it constitute shirk
(associating others with Allaah)? What should I say instead of this?
Please advise me, may Allaah reward you with good.
Praise be to Allaah.
There is nothing wrong with using the phrase "by chance," because what
the speaker means is that he met that person without a prior agreement
to meet, and without intending to do so; he does not mean that this
meeting happened without the decree of Allaah.
The use of this expression (sudfatanin Arabic) is mentioned in some
ahaadeeth, such as that narrated by Muslim (2144) from Anas who said:
I set out with him (i.e., with 'Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Talhah) to go to
the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
and we met him by chance and he was carrying a branding iron…
Abu Dawood (142) narrated that Laqeet ibn Sabrah said: I came among
the delegation of Banu'l-Muntafiq to the Messenger of Allaah(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). When we came to the Messenger of
Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) it so happened that
we did not find him in his house but by chance 'Aa'ishah the Mother of
the Believers was there…. This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah(3/393):
The expression used by many people, "I met So and so by chance" etc is
not haraam and does not constitute shirk, because what is meant is
meeting him without a prior appointment or agreement to meet, for
example, and there is nothing wrong with this meaning.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen was asked: What is your opinion on using the
expression "by chance"?
He replied:
We think that there is nothing wrong with this expression. This is a
customary expression which is mentioned in several ahaadeeth: We met
the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) by
chance, etc.
With regard to people's actions, things do happen by chance, because
people have no knowledge of the Unseen and a thing may happen without
a person realizing it or doing the things that lead to it or expecting
it. But with regard to the actions of Allaah, this is not the case,
for everything is known to Allaah and everything is decreed by Him.
With regard to Him nothing ever happens by chance, but with regard to
you and me, we may meet without prior arrangement and without
realizing or planning it. This is what we call chance, and there is
nothing wrong with that. But with regard to the actions of Allaah,
this word cannot be used.

Dought & clear, - If the spouses have agreed on khula‘, can she allow her husband to have sex with her before pronouncing thekhula‘?

If the spouses have agreed on khula', can she allow her husband to
have sex with her before pronouncing the khula'?
Praise be to Allah.
It should be noted that one of the essential parts of khula', without
which it is not valid, is the pronouncing of the word khula' or words
that have the same meaning, whether that is explicit or implicit. It
is essential that the husband pronounce the word khula' or words that
carry the same meaning, so that the ruling may be applied and its
consequences follow on.
It says inal-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah(19/245): According to scholars
other than the Hanafis, there are five essential parts of khula':
moojib, qaabil, mu'awwad, 'iwad and seeghah.
The moojib (the one who issues the khula') is the husband.
The qaabil (the one who guarantees compensation) is the one who is
committed to pay compensation.
The mu'awwad (the thing for which compensation is given in return for
giving it up) is intimacy with the wife.
The 'iwad (what is agreed upon in return for foregoing the right to
intimacy) is the thing in return for which khula' is given
The seeghah is the wording by which khula' takes place.
With regard to the offer of khula' and acceptance thereof, these are
essential parts of khula' according to the Hanafis, if khula' is in
return for compensation. With regard to both, it is stipulated – as
was stated by the Shaafa'is – that the husband begins with an offer of
exchange, such as saying "I offer you khula' in return for such and
such." Acceptance is done by uttering words on the part of one who can
speak, or by gestures or writing in the case of one who cannot speak
(non-verbal). There should be no discussion of different matters, in
between the offer and acceptance, on the part of the one who is
expected to give an answer; however, a little general talk is allowed.
End quote.
See the answer to question no. 191484
Shaykh as-Sa'di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If they have
agreed on khula' but have not done it yet – rather they only agreed
that he will give her khula' if she gives him compensation – this does
not count as an annulment of the marriage. Rather it is only a promise
from him to annul it. If he has not yet annulled it, he may change his
mind and not do it. End quote.
Fataawa al-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, 2/785; fatwa from Shaykh 'Abd
ar-Rahmaan as-Sa'di.
Based on that:
If the conditions of khula' are fulfilled by both husband and wife,
and he has indeed uttered the word of khula', then it is not
permissible for the wife to let the husband be intimate with her
because she is completely divorced from him [and if they want to
remarry they must do a new marriage contract].
But if the conditions of khula' have not been met – rather it is only
an agreement and a promise, and the husband has not uttered the word
of khula', or the qaadi (judge) has not yet decreed it – then she is
still his wife and she may allow him to be intimate with her. Who
knows, perhaps that will lead to them wanting to stay together and
reconcile.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear, - Ruling on celebrating ‘Aashooraa’ or taking it as a day of mourning

What is the ruling on what people do on the day of 'Aashooraa', such
as wearing kohl, taking a bath (ghusl), using henna, shaking hands
with one another, cooking grains (huboob), showing their happiness and
so on…? Has any saheeh hadeeth to that effect been narrated from the
Prophet peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or not? If there is
no saheeh hadeeth to that effect, does doing these things constitute
bid'ah, or not? What about the things that the other people do, such
as mourning, grieving, going without anything to drink, eulogizing,
wailing, rending their garments, etc.? Is there any basis for that or
not?
Praise be to Allah
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked
this question and he replied as follows:
'Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. Nothing to that effect
has been reported in any saheeh hadeeth from the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) or from his Companions. None of the
imaams of the Muslims encouraged or recommended such things, neither
the four imaams, nor any others. No reliable scholars have narrated
anything like this, neither from the Prophet(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him), nor from the Sahaabah, nor from the Taabi'een;
neither in any saheeh report or in a da'eef (weak) report; neither in
the books ofSaheeh, nor inal-Sunan, nor in theMusnads. No hadeeth of
this nature was known during the best centuries, but some of the later
narrators reported ahaadeeth like the one which says "Whoever puts
kohl in his eyes on the day of 'Aashooraa' will not suffer from eye
disease in that year, and whoever takes a bath (does ghusl) on the day
of 'Aashooraa' will not get sick in that year, etc." They also
narrated reports concerning the supposed virtues of praying on the day
of 'Aashooraa', and other reports saying that on the day of
'Aashooraa' Adam repented, the Ark settled on Mount Joodi, Yoosuf
returned to Ya'qoob, Ibraaheem was saved from the fire, the ram was
provided for sacrifice instead of Ismaa'eel, and so on. They also
reported a fabricated hadeeth that is falsely attributed to the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), which says,
"Whoever is generous to his family on the day of 'Aashooraa', Allaah
will be generous to him for the rest of the year."
(Then Ibn Taymiyah discussed the two misguided groups who were in
Koofah, Iraq, both of whom took 'Aashooraa' as a festival because of
their bid'ah). The Raafidi group made an outward show of allegiance to
the Ahl al-Bayt although inwardly they were either heretics and
disbelievers or ignorant and bound by whims and desires. The Naasibi
group hated 'Ali and his companions, because of the troubles and
killings that had occurred. It is reported inSaheeh Muslimthat the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "In (the
tribe of) Thaqeef there will be a liar and an oppressor [???]." The
liar was al-Mukhtaar ibn Abi 'Ubayd al-Thaqafi, who made an outward
show of allegiance to and support of the Ahl al-Bayt, and killed
'Ubayd-Allaah ibn Ziyaad, the governor of Iraq, who had equipped the
party that killed al-Husayn ibn 'Ali (may Allaah be pleased with them
both); then he (al-Mukhtaar) made it clear that he was a liar, by
claiming to be a prophet and that Jibreel (peace be upon him) brought
revelation to him. People told Ibn 'Umar and Ibn 'Abbaas about this,
and said to one of them, "al-Mukhtaar ibn Abi 'Ubayd is claiming to
receive revelation [annahu yanzilu 'alayhi]." He said, "He is telling
the truth, for Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):'Shall I
inform you (O people) upon whom the shayaateen (devils) descend
[tanazzalu]? They descend upon every lying, sinful person.'
[al-Shu'ara' 26:221]."[Translator's note: the words translated as
"receive revelation" and "descend" both come from the same root in
Arabic]. They said to the other: "Al-Mukhtaar is claiming that he
receives inspiration." He said, "he is telling the truth.'… And
certainly, the Shayaateen (devils) do inspire their friends (from
mankind) to dispute with you…' [al-An'aam 6:121 – interpretation of
the meaning]." As for the oppressor , this was al-Hajjaaj ibn Yoosuf
al-Thaqafi, who was opposed to 'Ali and his companions. Al-Hajjaaj was
a Naasibi and al-Mukhtaar was a Raafidi, and this Raafidi was a
greater liar and more guilty of fabrication and heresy, because he
claimed to be a prophet…
There was much trouble and fighting between these two groups in Kufa.
When al-Husayn ibn 'Ali (may Allaah be pleased with them both) was
killed on the day of 'Aashooraa', he was killed by the sinful,
wrongdoing group. Allaah honoured al-Husayn with martyrdom, as He
honoured other members of his family, and raised his status, as He
honoured Hamzah, Ja'far, his father 'Ali and others. Al-Husayn and his
brother al-Hasan are the leaders of the youth of Paradise. High status
can only be attained through suffering, as the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him said, when he was asked which people
suffer the most. He said, "The Prophets, then righteous people, then
the next best and the next best. A man will suffer according to his
level of faith. If his faith is solid, he will suffer more, but if his
faith is shaky, he will suffer less. The believer will keep on
suffering until he walks on the earth with no sin."(reported by
al-Tirmidhi and others).Al-Hasan and al-Husayn achieved what they
achieved and reached the high status they reached by the help and
decree of Allaah. They did not suffer as much as their forefathers
had, for they were born and raised during the glory days of Islam, and
the Muslims respected and honoured them. The Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) died when they were still young, and
Allaah blessed them by testing them in such a manner that they would
be able to catch up with the rest of their family members, as those
who were of a higher status than them were also tested. 'Ali ibn Abi
Taalib was better than them, and he was killed as a shaheed (martyr).
The killing of al-Husayn was one of the things that caused fitnah
(tribulation) among the people, as was the killing of 'Uthmaan, which
was one of the greatest causes of fitnah, because of which the ummah
is still split today. Thus the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "There are three things, whoever is saved from them
is truly saved: my death, the killing of a patient khaleefah, and the
Dajjaal ('antichrist')."
Then Shaykh al-Islam (may Allaah have mercy on him) mentioned a little
about the biography of al-Hasan and his just character, then he said:
"Then he died, and Allaah was pleased with him and honoured him. Some
groups wrote to al-Husayn and promised to support and help him if he
went ahead and declared himself khaleefah, but they were not sincere.
When al-Husayn sent his cousin [son of his paternal uncle] to them,
they broke their word and gave help to the one they had promised to
defend him against, and fought with him against [al-Husayn's cousin].
Those who were wise and who loved al-Husayn, such as Ibn 'Abbaas and
Ibn 'Umar and others, advised him not to go to them, and not to accept
any promises from them. They thought that his going to them served no
useful interest and that the consequences would not be good. Things
turned out just as they said, and this is how Allaah decreed it would
happen. When al-Husayn (may Allaah be pleased with him) went out and
saw that things were not as he had expected, he asked them to let him
go back, or to let him join the army that was defending the borders of
Islam, or join his cousin Yazeed, but they would not let him do any of
these things unless he gave himself up to them as a prisoner. So he
fought with them, and they killed him and some of those who were with
him, and he was wrongfully slain so he died as a shaheed whose
martyrdom brought him honour from Allaah, and so he was reunited with
the good and pure members of his family. His murder brought shame on
those who had wrongfully killed him, and caused much mischief among
the people. An ignorant, wrongful group – who were either heretics and
hypocrites, or misguided and misled – made a show of allegiance to him
and the members of his household, so they took the day of 'Aashooraa'
as a day of mourning and wailing, in which they openly displayed the
rituals of jaahiliyyah such as slapping their cheeks and rending their
garments, grieving in the manner of the jaahiliyyah. But what Allaah
has commanded us to do when disaster strikes – when the disaster is
fresh – is to bear it with patience and fortitude, and to seek reward,
and to remember that all things come from Allaah and we must return to
Him, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):"… but give glad
tidings to al-saabiroon (the patient ones), who, when afflicted with
calamity, say: 'Truly, to Allaah we belong and turly, to Him we shall
return.' They are those on whom are al-salawaat (the blessings) (i.e.,
who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are
those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones."
[al-Baqarah 2:155-157].
It is reported inal-Saheehthat the Prophet(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "he is not one of us who strikes his cheeks,
rends his garments and prays with the prayer of Jaahiliyyah." And he
said: "I have nothing to do with those who strike [their cheeks],
shave [their heads] and rend [their garments]." And he said: "If the
woman who wails does not repent before she dies, she will be raised up
on the Day of Resurrection wearing trousers made of tar and a shirt of
scabs." Inal-Musnad, it is reported from Faatimah bint al-Husayn, from
her father al-Husayn, that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "There is no man who suffers a calamity, and when
he remembers it, even if it is old, he says 'Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa
ilayhi raaji'oon(Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall
return),' but Allaah will give a reward equal to the reward He gave
him on the day he suffered the calamity." This is how Allaah honours
the Believers. If the disaster suffered by al-Husayn, and other
disasters, are mentioned after all this time, we should say "Innaa
Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji'oon(Truly, to Allaah we belong and
truly, to Him we shall return)," as Allaah and His Messenger
commanded, so as to be given the reward like that earned on the day of
the disaster itself. If Allaah commanded us to be patient and
steadfast and to seek reward at the time of the disaster, then how
about after the passing of time? The Shaytaan made this attractive to
those who are misled, so they took the day of 'Aashooraa' as an
occasion of mourning, when they grieve and wail, recite poems of grief
and tell stories filled with lies. Whatever truth there may be in
these stories serves no purpose other than the renewal of their grief
and sectarian feeling, and the stirring up of hatred and hostility
among the Muslims, which they do by cursing those who came before
them, and telling many lies, and causing much trouble in the world.
The various sects of Islam have never known any group tell more lies
or cause more trouble or help the kuffaar against the Muslims more
than this misguided and evil group. They are even worse than the
Khawaarij who went beyond the pale of Islam. They are the ones of whom
the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "They
will kill the people of Islam and will leave alone the people who
worship idols." This group cooperated with the Jews, Christians and
mushrikeen against the members of the Prophet's household and his
believing ummah, and also helped the mushrik Turks and Tatars to do
what they did in Baghdaad and elsewhere to the descendents of the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), i.e., the
'Abbaasid rulers and others, and the believers; the Turks and Tatars
killed them, enslaved their women and destroyed their homes. The evil
and harm that they do to the Muslims cannot be enumerated by any man,
no matter how eloquent he is. Some others – either Naasibis who oppose
and have enmity towards al-Husayn and his family or ignorant people
who try to fight evil with evil, corruption with corruption, lies with
lies and bid'ah with bid'ah – opposed them by fabricating reports in
favour of making the day of 'Aashooraa' a day of celebration, by
wearing kohl and henna, spending money on one's children, cooking
special dishes and other things that are done on Eids and special
occasions. These people took the day of 'Aashooraa' as a festival like
Eid, whereas the others took it as a day of mourning. Both are wrong,
and both go against the Sunnah, even though the other group (the
Rafidis) are worse in intention and more ignorant and more plainly
wrong… But Allaah commands us to be just and to treat others well. The
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Those of you
who live after my death will see many disputes. I urge you to adhere
to my Sunnah and the sunnah of my rightly-guided successors
(al-khulafa' al-raashidoon) who come after me. Hold onto it as if
biting it with your eyeteeth. Beware of newly-innovated matters, for
every innovation is a going astray." Neither the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) nor his rightly-guided successors
(the khulafa' al-raashidoon) did any of these things on the day of
'Aashooraa', they neither made it a day of mourning nor a day of
celebration.
But "when the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came
to Madeenah, he saw the Jews fasting on the day of 'Aashooraa'. He
said, 'What is this?' They said, 'This is the day when Allaah saved
Moosa from drowning, so we fast on this day.' He said, 'We have more
right to Moosa than you,' so he fasted on that day and commanded [the
Muslims] to fast on that day."
Quraysh also used to venerate this day during the Jaahiliyyah. The day
on which people were ordered to fast was just one day. When the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah it
was Rabee' al-Awwal, and the following year he fasted 'Aashooraa' and
commanded the people to fast. Then in that year fasting in Ramadaan
was made obligatory and fasting on 'Aashooraa' was abrogated. The
scholars disputed as to whether fasting on that day ('Aashooraa') was
waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (encouraged). Of the two best known
opinions, the more correct view is that it was waajib, then after that
whoever fasted it did it because it was mustahabb. The Prophet(peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not tell ordinary Muslims to
fast on 'Aashooraa', but he used to say, "This is the day of
'Aashooraa'; I am fasting on this day and whoever wishes to fast on
this day may fast." And he said: "Fasting on 'Aashooraa' expiates for
the sins of one year and fasting on the day of 'Arafaah expiates for
the sins of two years." When, towards the end of his life, the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard that the Jews
took the day of 'Aashooraa' as a festival, he said, "If I live until
next year, I will certainly fast on the ninth" – to be different from
the Jews, and not to resemble them in taking the day as a festival.
There were some of the Sahaabah and scholars who did not fast on this
day and did not regard it as mustahabb, but thought it makrooh to
single out this day for fasting. This was reported from a group of the
Koofiyeen (scholars of Kufa). Some other scholars said that it was
mustahabb to fast on this day. The correct view is that it is
mustahabb for the one who fasts on 'Aashooraa' to fast on the ninth
day [of Muharram] too, because this was the ultimate command of the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as he said: "If I
live until next year, I will certainly fast on the ninth as well as
the tenth." This was reported with a variety of isnaads. This is what
is prescribed in the Sunnah of the Prophet(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him).
As for the other things, such as cooking special dishes with or
without grains, or wearing new clothes, or spending money on one's
family, or buying the year's supplies on that day, or doing special
acts of worship such as special prayers or deliberately slaughtering
an animal on that day, or saving some of the meat of the sacrifice to
cook with grains, or wearing kohl and henna, or taking a bath (ghusl),
or shaking hands with one another, or visiting one another, or
visiting the mosques and mashhads (shrines) and so on… all of this is
reprehensible bid'ah and is wrong. None of it has anything to do with
the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) or the way of the Khulafa' al-Raashidoon. It was not
approved of by any of the imaams of the Muslims, not Maalik, not
al-Thawri, not al-Layth ibn Sa'd, not Abu Haneefah, not al-Oozaa'i,
not al-Shaafa'i, not Ahmad ibn Hanbal, not Ishaaq ibn Raahwayh, not
any of the imaams and scholars of the Muslims.
The religion of Islam is based on two principles: that we should
worship nothing besides Allaah Alone, and that we should worship Him
in the manner that He has prescribed, not by means of bid'ah or
reprehensible innovations. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):"… So whoever hopes for the Meeting with his Lord, let him
work righteousness and associate none as a partner in the worship of
his Lord." [al-Kahf 18:110].
Righteous deeds are those which are loved by Allaah and His Messenger,
those which are prescribed in Islam and in the Sunnah. Thus 'Umar ibn
al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) used to say in his
du'aa': "O Allaah, make all of my deeds righteous and make them purely
for Your sake, and do not let there be any share for anyone or
anything else in them."
(The above is summarized from the words of Shaykh al-Islam Ibn
Taymiyah – may Allaah have mercy on him.Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 5).
And Allaah is the Guide to the Straight Path.