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Saturday, December 28, 2013

Fathwa, - Her uncle sexually abusedher when she was young








Question
A girl was child sex abused when she was 3rd or 4th grade. Her uncle asked her to remove her clothes, just made her slept on his body for 2 times. Her uncle just asked her mom to take the girl along with him to his home,her mom sent thinking granny will be there, as she use to go granny place. As soon as this happened, her mom came in search of the girl, the girl thought)oh if my mom had come just before, we wud had been caught( The girl knows its wrong thts why she thought in mind )oh my mom had come just before we wud had been caught(, but dint tell to her uncle she removed the clothes. wht i wud like to know, does she did wantedly. how girls reach with adult oral sex when they are in 3rd grade or 4th grade)7or 8yrs(. Does the girl has to tell her parents now? The girl is now 34yrs old. she is suffering from pain, depression. She constantly thinks, why dint i stop or tell to her mom. Thts wrong she knew that why she thought in mind)oh my mom had come just before we wud had been caught(. Her uncle called her other time, she thought in mind)oh he will make me to remove my clothes, but dint stop she went and did again( When she grew up, she fell in love with lot of guys, one after other just came in her life, they just played with her body,she dint had intercourse. she allowed them to touch her. Now she regrets for what she did, she always thinks of past and regret worried abt akhirah and day of judgement, she cannot lead a normal human life. she is married and has 2 kids. Recently she got to know, she has jinn on her body. Why did so allowed lot of guys in her life just to play with her body. she was not remembering allah and not praying. Now she does, the more she get close to allah, the more pain she has, she remember this past incidents. What wud u suggest for her? is there any solution. will allah forgive her sins, bcoz she cannot lead a normal life. she is struggling with past bitter experience.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, is His slave and Messenger.
It is indeed a great calamity that evil comes from someone whom we usually feel safe from his evil, so how does an uncle dare to do these evil matters with the daughter of his brother/sister especially that she is a young girl and it is expected that he would discipline her and guide her instead of him abusing her like a wolf? There is no might nor power except with Allaah!
In any case, we advise this sister to take it easy as she is not held accountable for these evil acts that took place with her uncle as she did so before the age of puberty. Even if she did them out of her own free will, she will not be held accountable for her acts as at that time she was under the age of Takleef )accountability(. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92178.
Therefore, she should completely refrain from thinking about these unfortunate events and not let the devil make her feel bad or make her life miserable. Moreover, she should not inform anybody about this, neither her parents nor anyone else.
However, she must repent from the illicit relations which she established with some young people after she had reached puberty, and she should regret what she did and think good of Allaah. Indeed, whoever repents, Allaah will accept his repentance. Also, she should be careful not to despair of the mercy of Allaah as this is a great sin. Allaah Says )what means(: }Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allaah except the disbelieving people.{]Quran 12:87[
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86527and 88529.
Finally, we advise this sister to preoccupy her time with what benefits her religion and her worldly life and to keep company with her pious Muslim sisters so that she would forget the past because whoever repents from sin is like the one who has never committed a sin.
Allaah Knows best.



PUBLISHERNajimudeen M

Fathwa, - Conceal his sin, but don't let him be in seclusion with her






Question
my husband has sexually assaulted our daughter of 14 years old. She says he came in her bedroom, lied down behind her, undress her undergarment and put his private part from behind to front. she is not sure if it was entered or not. he left it there a while and then went away. I have thrown him out the day if found out. He denies it but i dont believe him. He says it is unintentional if it happend. Could i give him another chance. He says he realises his faults now and that he was away from deen and zikr and it is very important to be focused with islaim If i look at whats happend i hate this man. but when i look at the 17 years w've spent together i feel emotionally shattered. Two people who have been told the situation say that in islamic shariah we could no longer live as husband and wife after his action. I don;t event know if I can live with him anymore but would still like to rectify the situation. Please could you tell me is our nikah now haraam
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, is His slave and Messenger.
What this man did is a great, abominable and obnoxious sin. In addition to its being a great sin, it is contrary to the Fitrah and the natural predisposition of human beings as we have clarified in Fataawa 88782and 86063.
Dear Sister, what your husband did does not make you forbidden for him and it does not invalidate the marriage. However, you should conceal his sin and not disclose it to people, especially since he claims that he has repented and has become righteous, and that he even denies doing it.
Nevertheless, you should be careful of him and not leave any occasion for him to be in seclusion with your daughter lest he should do the same thing again as he cannot be trusted. Also, your daughter should observe Hijaab in front of him as long as it is feared that he would commit what is forbidden with her.
Allaah Knows best.





PUBLISHERNajimudeen M

Fathwa, - Her husband's uncle triedto sexually abuse her




Question
Assalamu Alaikum. I need some guidance and advices in sexual abuse by a family member. My husband's maternal uncle tried to sexually abuse me )like trying to hug me, kiss on my cheek, trying to touch me in inappropriate places(. When he touched me first I didn't mind it as he is my husband's maternal uncle and he is a mahram to me. But after this went bit far as I mentioned before I told him clearly I don't like he is touching me but he insisted and I told him I consider equally to my father and after that he left. Again he called and asked me to forgive for sake of Allah. Through I confirmed his intention was wrongful. Now should I tell this my husband or keep quite since he asked me to forgive. One more thing this uncle is my husband's favorite uncle so I'm worried that if I tell my husband about this it will create unwanted problems in the family and I'm afraid that whether my husband would believe me or not. At the same time I have studied if we conceals someone's wrongs then allah would conceal our sins as well. What am I suppose to do right now. Please advise me. Jazzakallah!
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
It is indeed a great calamity that evil comes from a person whom one feels safe and secure about. What happened from the maternal uncle of your husband is most likely due to being lenient about non-Mahram men entering upon women especially the relatives of the husband about whom there was a special warning from the Prophetand this is clarified in Fataawa 154373and 127911.
The fact that this man is a maternal uncle to your husband does not mean that he is a Mahram to you if there is no other relation that makes him a Mahram; in this regard please refer to Fatwa 128305.
If we presume that he is a Mahram, then this happening from him is even more evil and more sinful.Anyway, he did well by asking your forgiveness, but he is obliged to sincerely repent to Allaah; the conditions of a sincere repentance are clarified in Fatwa 86527.
Also, you did well by forgiving him, so you should not inform your husband about the matter as it is an obligation to conceal the sins of a Muslim according to the view of some scholars. The prominent scholar ShaykhIbn ‘Uthaymeensaid while explaining Riyaadh As-Saaliheen: “It is an obligation upon a Muslim to conceal the faults of another Muslim and he should not spread it unless there is a necessity.”
Even if we presume that this is not an obligation, it is not wise to inform your husband about the issue to make him have hard feelings towards his uncle over a matter about which he had already sought your forgiveness and he might have repented from it.As-San’aanisaid in the book Subul As-Salaam: “If it is known that he has repented and gave up his sin, it is forbidden to disclose what he had done and it is an obligation to conceal his sin; this applies to the person who is not known to be corrupt or persistent in exceeding the limits of Sharee'ah.”
Allaah Knows best.







PUBLISHERNajimudeen M