'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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Question
Assalamu Alaikum. I need some guidance and advices in sexual abuse by a family member. My husband's maternal uncle tried to sexually abuse me )like trying to hug me, kiss on my cheek, trying to touch me in inappropriate places(. When he touched me first I didn't mind it as he is my husband's maternal uncle and he is a mahram to me. But after this went bit far as I mentioned before I told him clearly I don't like he is touching me but he insisted and I told him I consider equally to my father and after that he left. Again he called and asked me to forgive for sake of Allah. Through I confirmed his intention was wrongful. Now should I tell this my husband or keep quite since he asked me to forgive. One more thing this uncle is my husband's favorite uncle so I'm worried that if I tell my husband about this it will create unwanted problems in the family and I'm afraid that whether my husband would believe me or not. At the same time I have studied if we conceals someone's wrongs then allah would conceal our sins as well. What am I suppose to do right now. Please advise me. Jazzakallah!
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
It is indeed a great calamity that evil comes from a person whom one feels safe and secure about. What happened from the maternal uncle of your husband is most likely due to being lenient about non-Mahram men entering upon women especially the relatives of the husband about whom there was a special warning from the Prophetand this is clarified in Fataawa 154373and 127911.
The fact that this man is a maternal uncle to your husband does not mean that he is a Mahram to you if there is no other relation that makes him a Mahram; in this regard please refer to Fatwa 128305.
If we presume that he is a Mahram, then this happening from him is even more evil and more sinful.Anyway, he did well by asking your forgiveness, but he is obliged to sincerely repent to Allaah; the conditions of a sincere repentance are clarified in Fatwa 86527.
Also, you did well by forgiving him, so you should not inform your husband about the matter as it is an obligation to conceal the sins of a Muslim according to the view of some scholars. The prominent scholar ShaykhIbn ‘Uthaymeensaid while explaining Riyaadh As-Saaliheen: “It is an obligation upon a Muslim to conceal the faults of another Muslim and he should not spread it unless there is a necessity.”
Even if we presume that this is not an obligation, it is not wise to inform your husband about the issue to make him have hard feelings towards his uncle over a matter about which he had already sought your forgiveness and he might have repented from it.As-San’aanisaid in the book Subul As-Salaam: “If it is known that he has repented and gave up his sin, it is forbidden to disclose what he had done and it is an obligation to conceal his sin; this applies to the person who is not known to be corrupt or persistent in exceeding the limits of Sharee'ah.”
Allaah Knows best.
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