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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Tell the truth and watch your relationships shine

"O you who believe! be careful of (your duty to) Allah and be with the
true ones." – Quran 9:119
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,
"You must be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness and
righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will keep speaking the truth
and striving to speak the truth until he will be recorded with Allah
as a Siddeeq (speaker of the truth). Beware of telling lies, for lying
leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hellfire. A man will keep
telling lies and striving to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah
as a liar." (Muslim)
Ali Ibn Abi Talib (ra) said: "The truth teller achieves three things:
trust, love, and respect."
You know the expression, "The truth shall set you free?" It might be
amended to say, "Telling the truth shall set you free."
Being honest is liberating. It might be difficult or emotionally
uncomfortableat times, but it's so much more freeing to the spirit
than lying, or living a lie. We don't have to remember what lies we
told to whom, or whether someone will uncover something from our
pasts. We don't have to feel like hypocrites for speaking words we
don't really mean.
The Body Tells the Truth
Did you know that a liar is betrayed by his own body?We all know about
the obvious signs that are monitored by lie detectors, such as
increased body temperature (manifested visually as sweating), and
raised blood pressure. But there are many other signs that are
detectable visually.If you live in the USA you may have seen the
television drama "Lie to Me", about a scientist who acts as a human
lie detector by studying body language and facial "micro-expressions".
This is based on real science.
For example, when people are lying, they generally avoid eye contact.
Frequently, liars will gaze downward and to the right. Another sign is
that liars often fidget, moving hands or feet, drumming fingers, or
adjusting clothing. Also, liars may subconsciously try to "hide" the
lie by covering their mouths, or making a motion that is symbolic of
covering the face, such as touching the nose or an eye. These are all
attempts to cover up the lie, and are a subconscious expression of
shame. Lastly, the liar may fold his arms or cross his legs, which are
defensive gestures, as if he is trying to cover himself up.
SubhanAllah. Even when a person's mind is willing to lie, the body is
not. It's as ifa part of him is adhering to fitra , the pure nature of
every human being, and is unwilling to go along with the sin.
After all, the body is alwaysin a state of submission to Allah. The
heart beats as Allah made it to do, the blood flows, the nerves fire,
the cells generate energy, carry oxygen or process waste, white
bloodcells attack invaders… all these autonomous processes go on
without conscious thought, obeyingthe imperatives given to them by
Allah. This is an expression of Islam at the most basic level. So even
when a person's tongue may commit a sin by lying, on a deeper level
the body is still in submission.
In fact, everything in existence submits to Allah and praises Him, and
functions as a sign of His power. Allah says,
"Do you not see that Allah is exalted by whomever is within the
heavens and the earth and [by] the birds with wings spread [in
flight]? Each has known his [means of] prayer and exalting [Him], and
Allah is Knowing of what they do.
And to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and to
Allah is the destination.
Do you not see that Allah drives clouds? Then He brings them together,
then He makes them intoa mass, and you see the rain emerge from within
it. And He sends down from the sky, mountains [of clouds] within which
is hail, and He strikes with it whom He wills and averts it from whom
He wills. The flash of its lightening almost takes away the eyesight.
Allah alternates the nightand the day. Indeed in that is a lesson for
those who have vision.
Allah has created every [living] creature from water. And of them are
those that move on their bellies, and of them are those that walk on
two legs, and of them are those that walk on four. Allah creates what
He wills. Indeed, Allah is over all things competent." ( Quran 24:
41-45)
All of the things described in these verses exist in submission to
Allah. Only we, children of Adam (and the jinn), have been given the
ability to disobey. When we rebel – and that includes lying – we come
into conflict with Allah, with society, with all other living
creatures, with the weather that surrounds us, and even with the night
and day!

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ADVISE :- ~ Tell Our Children the Truth

If we lie to our children and pretend that we are perfect and that
life is always wonderful, we do them a disservice. Young children are
idealistic by nature, inclined to believe that all people are good,
that adults have the answers, and that their parents are the best and
strongest people in the world. They believe that the adults are
managing the world properly as they should.
As they grow older they begin to see through our pretenses. They see
that our words don't match our deeds, and that adult society is
running the world into the ground, ravaging the natural environment,
making war, and destroying their futures in the process. So our
children become deeply disappointed. This disappointment leads to
cynicism and bitterness. That's when we lose them to alcohol or drugs,
gangsterism or bizarre countercultures.
That's when, in Western society, children begin getting tattoos and
piercings, wearing black clothing and chains, getting drunk and having
casual sex, listening to screaming metal music, and generally saying
to adult society, "I see through your lies, and I want nothing to do
with you. Since there's nothing to believe in, I won't even try."
Some parents strive to maintain the facade because they have no
truthto offer. They are caught up in a meaningless consumerist
lifestyle. Or they may see the hypocrisyof adult society but have no
alternative to offer.
We do! We have Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'alaa. We have the Qur'an, the
Prophets, and the tremendous life lesson of the Messenger of Allah
(pbuh). We have the amazing lives of the Sahabah, and all the heroesof
Muslim history. We have the shahadah, salat, zakat, sawm, and Hajj. We
have something real, a genuine alternative to corruption and malaise,
but first we must be on the path. We must be dedicated. We don't have
to be perfect but we must be sincere.
So let's do that, and then let's tell our children the truth.
Let's tell them, "I'm not perfect and neither is any other human
being, but I'mworking on it Insha'Allah, and I love you, and that's
what counts. Yes, there is evil and hypocrisy in the world. Yes, adult
society is largely superficial and selfish. But each of us has the
ability to change the world. Each of us is powerful. Go out there and
be a force for change in theworld. Imagine the world as it should be,
then work to bring it about. Be sincere, be strong, keep Allah in your
awareness, and do what you can. If you do that, then you
havesucceeded. No matter what, I will always love you and be proud of
you."

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HADEES - ~ Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq (as) (571-634)

A fine representative of Islamic moral values throughout his life and
a close friend of our Prophet(saas), Hazrat Abu Bakr was born in Mecca
in 571.
He was the first Caliph of the era in Islamic history known as the
"Period of the Four Caliphs." With theQur'anic moral values he
exhibited under all circumstances, he was an exemplary Muslim on whom
great successes were bestowed.
Hazrat Abu Bakr embracedIslam at a time when it was not yet being
preached openly.
From the moment he became a Muslim, he lived by Islamic moral values
in the most scrupulous manner.
He provided great material assistance and personal support to our
Prophet (saas) in his preaching work. With his devotion to, and deep
loveof Allah, he was instrumental in many people becoming acquainted
with the moralvalues of Islam.
HAZRAT ABU BAKR'S CHARACTER
Hazrat Abu Bakr was known for his honesty even before embracing Islam.
He was a leading member of the Quraysh and took part in meetings on
important matters.
Hazrat Abu Bakr looked after blood money and debts, which were under
the control of people with elevated virtues chosen bythe tribes, who
in turn determined the sums to be paid.
The Quraysh abided by his decisions on blood money and gladly paid the
sums determined by him.
Hazrat Abu Bakr spent his youth exhibiting highly superior moral
values, andwas a close friend of the Prophet Muhammad (saas)even
before he received the prophethood. Since he was one of the first
peopleto heed the Prophet Muhammad's (saas) call after he received the
prophethood, the Prophet (saas) said to him:
"Abu Bakr heeded my call without any hesitation." (A Great History of
Islam from Its Birth to Present, Vol: 2 p: 31)
After embracing Islam, Hazrat Abu Bakr obeyed everything the Prophet
(saas) said and always maintained the bounds setby Allah. Because of
his honesty, loyalty and chastity our Prophet (saas)referred to him as
'Al-Siddiq', meaning the Truthful One. With his broad learning,
profound knowledge of religious matters, sure opinions andnoble
behavior, Hazrat Abu Bakr was an exemplary Companion.
When his son Abdurrahman joined the pagans at the battle of Badr, he
fought against hisson, and thus showed howhe held earning Allah's
approval above all else.
HAZRAT ABU BAKR'S EXEMPLARY SPENDING OF HIS FORTUNE
Hazrat Abu Bakr spent his whole fortune in the causeof Allah. By
paying large sums of money to slave owners, he was instrumental in the
freeingof many Muslims taken captive by the Quraysh who wanted to
force themto return to pagan beliefs.
Hazrat Abu Bakr was active in commerce and Allah bestowed great wealth
and assets upon him. Since he spent his entire fortune on spreading
Islamic moral values, causing our Prophet (saas) to say this about
him;
"Abu Bakr is the leading figure when it comes to sacrificing all his
possessions. What an excellent friend Abu Bakris. There is Islamic
love and brotherhood between us." (Bukhari, 8/Salat, 80)
Another account referring to how Hazrat Abu Bakr spent all he had on
Allah's path goes:
Urwa says:
"Aisha (as) told me: When he died, he left behind neither a dirhem nor
a dinar." (Nawawi, Tahdhib al-Asma wal Lugat, II,189 Ibn Hajar
al-Asqalani, al-Isaba fi tamyiz al-Sahaba IV, 279)
THE JOURNEY OF OUR PROPHET (SAAS) AND HAZRAT ABU BAKR (AS)
Our Prophet(saas) left his home on the night of the 27th Safar in the
14th yearof his prophethood and went to the home of Hazrat Abu Bakr.
He and Hazrat Abu Bakr then left Mecca. Traveling south they came to
Mount Thawr and hid in a cave there. That cave in Mount Thawr was
known as"Athal." At that point, the pagans came right up to the cave
mouth. But our Prophet (saas) was in complete submission to the
destiny appointed for them by Allah.
If you do not help him, Allah did help him when the disbelievers drove
him out and there were two of them in the Cave.* He said to his
companion, 'Do not be despondent, Allah is with us.' (Surat at-Tawba,
40)
When the pagans saw thata spider has spun a web over the mouth of the
cave, and that pigeons hadbuilt a nest and laid eggs there, they
assumed nobody was inside and left.
Hazrat Abu Bakr was the devoted friend who sheltered in that cave
alongside our Prophet (saas). He thus enjoyed thehonor of witnessing
that miraculous event.
THE CALIPHATE OF HAZRAT ABU BAKR
Hazrat Abu Bakr never abandoned the Prophet Muhammad (saas) after the
migration, and carried the standard at the battle of Tabuk.
In the ninth year of the migration the Prophet (saas) charged him with
leading the Hajj caravan.


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HADEES - ~ The choice of a partner should be the one with themost "Taqwa" (piety).

The Prophet (SAW) recommended suitors see each other before going
through with marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown
together and be expected to relate and be intimate when they know
nothing of each other.
* The couple is permitted to look at each other with a critical eye
and not a desireful one. This ruling does not contradict the Ayah
which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.
* The couple, however is not permitted to be alone in a closed room or
to go out together alone. As the hadith says "When a man and a woman
are together alone, there is a third presence i.e. shaitan.
* There is no dating or living in defacto relationships with each
other before they commit to each other seriously.
* There is to be no physicalrelationship before marriage.
* The romantic notions that young people often have, have proven in
most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved.
* We only have to look at the alarming divorce rates to understand
this point. e.g. the couple know each other for years, are intimate,
live together and so on yet somehow this does not guarantee the
success of the future marriage.
* "Romance" often dies outvery quickly when we haveto deal with the real world.
* Unrealistic expectations often contributes to problems within relationships.
* It is better to focus on compatability of the coupleand critical
evaluation thansolely physical attraction.

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