The Prophet (SAW) recommended suitors see each other before going
through with marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown
together and be expected to relate and be intimate when they know
nothing of each other.
* The couple is permitted to look at each other with a critical eye
and not a desireful one. This ruling does not contradict the Ayah
which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.
* The couple, however is not permitted to be alone in a closed room or
to go out together alone. As the hadith says "When a man and a woman
are together alone, there is a third presence i.e. shaitan.
* There is no dating or living in defacto relationships with each
other before they commit to each other seriously.
* There is to be no physicalrelationship before marriage.
* The romantic notions that young people often have, have proven in
most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved.
* We only have to look at the alarming divorce rates to understand
this point. e.g. the couple know each other for years, are intimate,
live together and so on yet somehow this does not guarantee the
success of the future marriage.
* "Romance" often dies outvery quickly when we haveto deal with the real world.
* Unrealistic expectations often contributes to problems within relationships.
* It is better to focus on compatability of the coupleand critical
evaluation thansolely physical attraction.
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Wednesday, May 30, 2012
HADEES - ~ The choice of a partner should be the one with themost "Taqwa" (piety).
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