Be a Logical and Motivating Parent

Father: I told you to clean your room.
Child: But I don't know how to dothat!
Father: I said clean the room! Don't you understand? Does thisneed
any explanation? You are old enough and you can do this by yourself.
If you clean your room, I will buy you whatever you like.
Child: Really, Dad?
Father: Yes, my dear boy. However, if you don't do so, the
consequences will be bad.
After cleaning the room…
Child: Dad! I cleaned my room.
Father: Do you call this cleaning?
Child: I did my best, Dad.
Father: Why didn't you clean under the bed? Remove the dustfrom the
glass? Arrange the clothes?
Child: I forgot to do that, but I will do it now.
After cleaning the room again...
Child: I have cleaned everything!
Father: Good! Well done!
Child: I deserve the prize now, right?
Father: Yes, you deserve it!
Child: You told me that you will buy me whatever I want.
Father: Yes, I did say that. What would you like me to buy you?"
Child: I want you to buy me a motorcycle!
Father: What, a motorcycle?! That is too expensive, and I can't buy it now.
Child: But you said that you would buy me whatever I wanted.
Father: But you should ask for something reasonable.
Child: But I want a motorcycle and nothing else.
Father: I don't likethose whotalkand arguetoo much, you have to ask
for something reasonable or Iwill buy you nothing.
Child )weeping(: But I love motorcycles!
The child then returns to his room that he has just cleaned feeling
remorse for every second he had spent in cleaning it. At thesame time,
he has lost confidence in his father's repeated illusionary promises
that he never fulfills. He closes the door and falls asleep.
Dear educator, be precise, logical and motivating. In the light of the
previous story, let us ask the following questions:
Was the father precise and logicalin his request? Did he succeed in
motivating his child?
Dear parent, let us answer the following three questions:
First:Was the father precise )in his orders and requests(?
Why do parents always think badly of their children if they refuse to
respond to their orders or if they respond wrongly? Why do we
immediately accuse the child of negligence?
In fact, we should accuse ourselves in many cases and inquire,"Were we
precise in our demands from the child?"
Was it sufficient for the father to ask his child to clean his room?
Isthis request sufficient or does it need some clarification?
The reward that the child will receive when he obeys his parents
represents the real incentive that makes him feel confident and
strong. Therefore, the parents who are not specific with their
children when they give them orders unintentionally lead their
children to failure.
For example, the father could have explained his request to his child
from the beginning in the following way:
·Use the broom when cleaning the floor
·Arrange the clothes and put them in their place
·Remove the dust from the glass and furniture
Putting it this way helps the childto know what is exactly required of
him easily. In such a case, if the child does something wrong, then
he, rather than you, would be the negligent party.
Specification and clarity is required in motivation:You should not
tell your child that you would buy him whatever he wants if he does
such-and-such. That is because the child has an intrinsic powerful
imagination and there is no limit to his demands. Therefore, if you
are not specific and do not respond to your child's requests, he will
be disappointed and will lose confidence in his father's promises and
incentives. On the contrary, such motivation will turn in the future
into frustration.
This explains what happened in our story. The child asked for a
motorcycle, and the father could not fulfill this difficult request
and the result was disappointment and frustration.
The father has to be specific even in motivating his child. For
example, he could motivate him by saying,"If you clean your room, I
will allow you to watch a cartoon."
Likewise, the parents should be specific in punishment. Therefore, it
is unfavorable to tellthe child,"If you do not do such-and-such, the
consequenceswill be bad."
The punishment should be specific. For example, one should say to his
child, "If you do not do such-and-such, you will not have any pocket
money, or you will not play video games, watch a cartoon movie, and so
on."
The father should choose the most effective )not severe( punishment,
becauseunspecifiedpunishments encourage the child to be careless as
long as he does not feel its effect on him.
However, the best thing that you can do to be specific in your demands
from your child is to arrange your room in his presence. In other
words, you should be an example to your child just as the Prophet,,
was the best example to his Companions. The Prophet,, was the perfect
example of the educator that people follow. He used to be ahead of his
Companions guiding them in wars, and encouraging them to spend in the
cause of Allaah The Almighty. He was also ahead of them when they were
digging the trench and he endured hardships and treated his wives
well.
My dear educator, you should know that giving a clear messageis
considered one of the key introductions to good education. Parents
should tell their children exactly what they want them to do, and how
they want them to do it. They should also determinewhen their children
act properly or improperly.
Second:Was the father logical in his demands and the expected results?
Many parents ask their children to do things that exceed their ability
or age. Therefore, they are in fact leading them to failure,
especially when they expect excellent results. An example of this is
when a parent asks his three-year-old child to wash the dishes or
clean the room.On the other hand, many parents degrade their
children's abilities and ask them to do what they cannot accept,
because they can actually do more due to their age and mature
mind. For example, when the mother asks her ten-year-old child to
sit so that she can study every single word with him, she is in fact
asking herchild to do something that he cannot bear. That is because
this implies an offence and accusationof ignorance. However, the
mother expects excellent scores at the end of the year, while she has
made her child completely dependent upon her.
The parent should be logical in what he asks his child to do and the
results he expects. This requires taking two things into
consideration:
1-The child's capabilities including his age, strength, intelligence,
vitality and self-confidence
2-The nature of the request itself
Then, the parent should comparethe child's capabilities and the
capabilities that are required for responding to his request after
avoiding and treating the physical and the psychological problems.
The parent should understand the Quranic verses in which Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:
·}Allaah does not charge a soul except ]with that within[ its
capacity.{]Quran 2:286[
·}Allaah does not charge a soul except ]according to[ what He has
given it.{]Quran 65:7[
By understanding these verses, parents can successfully compareresults
and judge whether or not they comply with their expectations of the
child.
Third: Was the father motivating?
This point is very important because the human soul likes praise, and
treating disobediencethrough encouragement is one ofthe most important
educational methods. The effects of this encouragement upon the child
include generating consciousnessof success in the work for which he
has been rewarded. Of course, this satisfies the child's motivations
and activates his learning habits in the future. The result would be
strengthening the child's confidence and encouraging him to be more
adventurous, creative and determined.
This method is very important in encouraging children, however, the
following issues should be observed:
·This should not be the only method, namely, the parents should not
use this method in cases when they see that there is a necessity for
punishment. Thereshould be a balance between reward and punishment.
·Motivation should be specific and precise, as we have mentioned.
·Parents should fulfill their motivational promises under all circumstances.
·Parents must implement their warnings if the child did not keephis promise.
·The motivation should not be exaggerated.
·Motivation should be using something loved and desired by the child.
Dear parent, you can also use some words to praise your child when he
obeys you such as"I like the way you handled this","Iknow you well
and I am sure that you will behave properly,"or"I think you can do
it".
Finally, dear father and mother do not forget when you ask your child
to arrange his room, for example, you should be specific and explain
things to him. Do notask your child to do anything thatexceeds his
abilities. Likewise, be specific in motivating your child.

The warm welcoming by the “Ansaar”

After an eight-day journey, the Prophetarrived at Quba' on Rabia
al-Awwal 8, the 14thyear of Prophethood )corresponding to September
23, 622 CE( at noon.Quba' lies at a distance of a few miles from
Al-Madeenah and was generally taken as the locality of Al-Madeenah. It
was largely inhabited by Banu Amr bin Auf)an Arabic tribe( who had
already been enlightened by Islam. A few days before the departure of
the Prophetfrom Makkah, the news of his anticipated arrival in
Al-Madeenah was in the air. The "Ansar" )Supporters of the Prophet( of
Al-Madeenah would come out of their dwellings early in the morning and
kept waiting till noon everyday. Thus, when the Prophet "" arrived at
Quba' at noon, they had already gone back after waiting for sometime.
A certain Jew who was watching the crowds of Muslims coming out of
their settlement as if they were waiting for someone knew that
Muhammadwas approaching from Mecca. This Jew was then, by chance,
upstairswhen he witnessed the small caravan moving into Quba';
guessing it to be the caravan of the Prophethe cried at the top of his
voice: "O people of Arabia, O those taking rest at noon, there has
come your objectof love." Having heard this call, the people rushed
out of their dwellings and waves of joy gripped the whole atmosphere
ofQuba'. Hewas emerging froman orchard of dates. Bearing in mind that
the people might fall into confusion regarding the identification of
the ProphetAbu Bakrdrew himself back and shaded the Prophetwith his
mantle, thus making a clear distinction between the Prophet and the
companion.
The Prophetwas now entering Quba' and the young girls of the "Ansar"
were reciting in great fervor and boundless joy:
"On the hillside whence caravans are given a send-off,
The full moon comes up in the day.
All the while Allaah is praised.
We had better return ourthanks
The noble one, O you sentto us,
You have brought binding commands."
Building the Quba' Mosque
The Prophetentered Quba' onMonday and stayed there until Friday.
Hestayed in the houseof Khulthum bin Hadm while Abu Bakrstayed with
Habeeb bin Asaf. He would hold his assemblies in the house of Sa'd bin
Khaithamahand the people visited him at the same place. During this
short stay in Quba', he laid the foundation of amosque, which is the
first mosque ever built after the advent of Islaam. On Friday, the
12thof Rabi al-Awwal, heleftQuba' and made his entry to Al-Madeenah.
He was still in Quba'when Ali bin Abu Talibcame and joined him. Alihad
made this long and arduous journey on foot. While the Prophetwas
staying in Quba', Aliwho had been busy returning the deposits of the
people to their rightful owners )in Mecca( was blessed with the honor
of joining the Prophet. He had left Makkah at about the time the
Prophetwas leaving the cave of Thaur. But since he was traveling by
himself, Alimade his movements during the night and kept himself
hidden in the day. The Prophet "" avoided busy roads and reached Quba'
in eight days, while Ali undertook the journey by the well-known
routes, but was late by three or four days because of being on foot.
Entry into Al-Madeenah
Taking the leave of the people of Quba' and Banu Amr bin Auf)Banu
means tribe( on Friday, the Prophetmoved forward to make his stay in
Al-Madeenah. Every household of each locality expressed its strong
desire that the Prophetshould stay with them. He was in the locality
of Banu Saalim bin Auf when the time for Friday )jumu'ah( prayer drew
near. The Prophet "" led the prayer in the locality of Banu Saalim bin
Auf in a field with about a hundred men behind him. This was the first
Friday prayer of the Prophet "" in Al-Madeenah and the first time the
Friday sermon)Khutbah( was ever delivered. Later on, a mosque was
built at that place.
After offering the Friday prayer, the Prophet "" mounted his
she-camel. Banu Saalim bin Auf approached him and took hold ofhis
she-camel's rein requesting that he stay with them. People ofother
tribes and localities also came in groups and made the same request.
This led to a clash of words, which ended when the Prophet "" said to
one and all: "Let her go her way. She is guided by Allaah. I shall
stop where the animal sits down." The"Ansar" and
"Muhajireen")emigrants( followed the she-camel on all sides. He set
the reins loose and the she-camel moved ahead slowly. All eyes were
focused on the animal, and they were eagerly waiting for it to kneel
down.
When the she-camel entered the locality of Banu Biyadah, Ziyad
binLabid and Urwah bin Amrthe chieftains of the tribes wanted totake
hold of the reins but the Prophet "" forbade them saying: "Leave her
for she has already been commanded." Then,the she-camel stepped into
the locality of Banu Sa'idah and Sa'd bin Ubadah and Mundhir bin
Amrthe chieftains of Banu Sa'idahmade the same attempt but received
the same words from the Prophet. After this, she reached the locality
of Banu Al-Harith bin Al-Khazraj, and Sa'd bin Ar-Rabi', Kharijah bin
Zaid andAbdullah bin Rawahahstepped forward to stop her but received
the same reply. From there the she-camel made an entry into the
locality of Banu Adibin An-Najjar. Since Abdul Muttalib's mother,
Salma bint Amr, belonged to this clan, they made their claim for the
Prophetto stop there. Thus Salit bin Qais and Asirah bin Abu Kharija,
the chieftains of Banu Adi, took hold of the reins but heaskedthem to
leave it for the animal had prior instructions for herself. At last
the she-camel arrived at the locality of Banu Malik bin An-Najjar and
knelt down in a deserted and bare land for a while and then got up and
advanced a little, only to turn back and be seated on the same spot
again. This time she shook herself and then laid down on her neck
wagging her tail.
Close to this unpopulated land was the house of Abu Ayub Khalid bin
Zaid Ansari. He rushed to the spot with his face beaming with joy and
took the belongings of the Prophetto his house. Thus hestayed with him
in his house. The deserted land was the property of two orphan boys
Sahl and Suhail. It had a few date trees, some graves of polytheists
and a resting spot for herds of cattle."Who is the owner of this
land?" The Prophetenquired. Mu'adhbin Afra responded, "This piece
ofland belongs to two orphan boys related to me, and I take care of
them; I shall make them agree, you may take it for building a mosque."
But the Prophetasserted, "I want to buy it, and will not take it
without paying itsprice." Abu Bakr made the payment at once. With the
order of the Prophetthe date trees were cut, the graves leveled, and
the construction work of the mosque was started then and there. The
Prophetjoined the builders. The walls of the mosquewere constructed
with stone andclay, the roof with wood and leaves of the date palm.
Until his house was built, the Prophetcontinued to live with Abu Ayub
Ansarifor six months and a few days.
The mosque built during the timeof the Prophetsaw no changebefore the
caliphate of Umar. During his caliphate, it underwent an expansion for
the first time. Uthman bin Affanstrengthened it. During the time of
Walid bin Abdul-Malikit saw more expansion with the inclusion of the
dwellings of the noble wives of the Prophet.
The Prophetwas in the houseof Abu Ayub Ansari when he sent Zaid bin
Harithath and Abu Rafi tobring Fatimah, Umm Kulthum, Saudah bint
Zam'ah, Usamah bin Zaid and his mother, as well as Umm Aiman. Talha
bin Ubaidullah, along with Abdullah bin Abu Bakr, and his relatives,
also accompanied them. After the arrival of these people, the
Prophetmoved into his newly built home.

Islam teaches the love of animals

On a recent shopping trip, I happened to pass by a pet shop, where a
big monkey in a small cage outside the entrance broke my heart.I
gathered up the guts to enter the shop, only toleave in tears, deeply
saddened by what I had seen. Poor, helpless animals imprisoned in tiny
cages withouteven enough space to turn around; their sad, pleading
eyes haunted me as I fought the urge to set them free, assured that
none would be able to explain for what crimethey had been incarcerated
in such inhumane and unnatural'habitats'. I wondered if the pet shop
owner ever thought about what it would be like to be paralyzed; in the
same way as he had kidnappedbirds and put them in little cages. Maybe
only a fellow animal lover would really understand what I felt that
day, yet the importance of kindness to animals is something every
Muslim should understand as a part of his way of life.It is such a
serious matterthat one could gain Heaven or Hell due to his treatment
of animals. Mistreating animals is considered a major sin inIslam, as
explained in the famous Book of Major Sins by Imaam Muhammad
bin'AbdulWahhaab.Certainly, aMuslim is responsible for the treatment
of animals,because an ill-treated animal will testify againstthe one
who abused it onthe Day of Judgment. Islam forbids branding animals
and killing them in vain, such as for sport. The Prophet, forbade
people from capturing birds, burning anthills and whipping animals.
Even when slaughtering animals for food, Islam requires that the
slaughtering be done accordingto approved Islamic procedures,which are
humane and reduce suffering. As Allaah's representatives on earth,
human beings have a responsibility towards every living creature.
As I left the pet shop that day, I felt like a traitor knowing that
these animals have feelings justas real as those of humans. I walked
away leaving my fellow creatures in their state ofoppression. Outside
the shop I stepped off the curb to head across the street, when just
at my feet lay a tiny newborn kitten, perfectly positioned for a
parking car to run over it. I stood there blocking the space from
desperate drivers demanding the parking spot, while I motioned for the
pet shop worker; Ithought he would certainly be someone who cared for
and sympathized with animals. He came out, glanced down at the animal,
replied: "It's not ours" and walked back inside. I stood there for
fifteen minutes before I was able to get one of the many passers-by to
get something with which to pick up the baby kitten to move it to a
safe place. Tears streamed down my face as I wondered: "Where are the
people of theSunnah?)traditions of the Prophet Muhammad( Has Allaah
plucked the mercy from the hearts of people to make them so cold that
they lack an ounce of sympathy for oneof Allaah's beautiful creatures,
although they see it so helpless and pitiful? I remembered
AbuHurayrah,a close companion of the Noble Messenger of Allaah, who
narrated moreHadeeth s (tradition ...Rahmaan, he was knownas Abu
Hurayrah)meaning father of the kitten( because of a smallcat thathe
used to feed and care for and carry with him everywhere he went.
Cats in Islam
The Messenger of Allaah, taught Muslims to have mercy for all of
Allaah's creation. There are many reports of his love for cats,
resulting in their historical acceptance among Muslims. Cats were very
common amongst the people during the time of the Prophet, and he said:
"They )cats( are not impure and they intermingle with you." The cat is
such a clean animal that according to authentic narrations one may
make ablution for prayer with the same water that a cat drank from.
Yet, it is knownthat some people nowadays have opposed the traditions
of the Prophet, by taking up the evil practices of torturing and
poisoning cats. Do they think that Allaah will not punish them for
this? Certainly Allaah's punishment for such acts is severe, if we
bear in mind the Hadeethof Allaah's Messenger, as reported
byAl-Bukhaariand Muslim regarding a woman who locked up a cat, refused
to feed it and did not release it so that it could feed itself.
Allaah's Messenger, said of herpunishment that she wastorturedand put
inHellfire.
Dogs in Islam
There is hardly a domestic animal more ill-treated these days than
dogs. The Messenger of Allaah, said:"Purifying a container that a dog
has licked )in order for humans to use it( is done by washing it seven
times, the first washing being with dirt."]Muslim[. A Muslim shouldnot
keep a dog inside his home since the Prophet, has informed us that
angels do not enter into a house where there is a dog ]Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim[. Does this mean that dogs are to be despised or mistreated?
Certainly not. Just because one does not keep a dog inside his home
and doesn't drink after it, doesn't give him the right to neglect it,
mistreat it or kill it. The usefulness of this creature of Allaah is
indisputable. No other animal can compete withit in its loyalty to its
caregiver, its abilities as aguard and its talent for hunting.
In fact, in the chapter "The Cave", the Quran reveals the story of
some youths who had faith and trust in Allaah, who took refuge in a
cave from the persecution andviolence of the unbelievers of their day.
That these righteous people had a dog with them, and the fact that
Allaah mentions the dog and counts the dog among them, indicates that
dogs are permitted to live among people.
The Quran says )what means(:"And you would think them awake, while
they were asleep. And We turned them to the right and to the left,
while their dog stretched his two forelegs at the entrance )of the
cave as a guard(..."]Quran 18:18[
Thus, dogs may be used for guards as well as for hunting as the Noble
Quran also states )what means(:"They ask you, )O Muhammad(, what has
been made lawful for them. Say: 'Lawful for you are )all( good foods
and )game caught by( whatyou have trained of hunting, animals which
you train as Allaahhas taught you. So eat of what they catch for you,
and mention the name of Allaah upon it, and fear Allaah.' Indeed
Allaah is swiftin account." ]Quran 5:4[
In two separate narrations by Abu Hurayrahthe Prophet, told his
companions of the virtue of saving the life of a dog by giving it
water and quenching its thirst. One story referred to a man who was
blessed by Allaah for giving water toa thirsty dog, the other was a
prostitute who filled her shoe with water and gave it to a dog, who
had its tongue lolling out from thirst. Forthis deed she was granted
the ultimate reward, the eternalParadiseunder which rivers flow, to
live therein forever. ]Muslim[
Let us reflect upon this and beware of our duty towards Allaah's
creatures, which He has put on earth for our use and not for our
abuse. When the Prophet, was asked if Allaah rewarded acts of charity
to the animals, he, replied: "Yes, there is a reward for acts of
charityto every beast alive." Let us fear Allaah with regard to His
creatures, lest we earn His Wrath. Let us go forth in supportand love
for animals, knowing that Allaah, The Most High, considers such a
deed done for His Sake as being worthy of the reward of Paradise.

Dought & clear, - Is feeling proud of one’s religion a kind of blameworthy pride?.

Is there anything wrongwith a person feeling proud of his religion or
feeling proud of a person who does something good? Because we know
that pride in the heart is something bad.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
With regard to feeling proud of one's religion and of belonging to it,
this is something that is prescribed in Islam and is a righteous deed.
A story from one of the battles illustrates this point: Abu Sufyaan,
the leader of Quraysh, expressed pride in his religion and the
religionof his people – as he hadnot yet entered Islam. The Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) answered his boast with an
expressionof the Muslim's pride in his religion and his affirmation of
the Oneness of the Lord of the Worlds.
Al-Bukhaari narrated in hisSaheeh(3039) from the hadeeth of al-Bara'
ibn 'Aazib (may Allah be pleased with him) that after the battle Abu
Sufyaan ibn Harb startedcomposing rajz verse and saying: "Rise in
honour, Hubal; rise in honour Hubal."
The Prophet blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Why don't
you answer him?"
They said: "O Messenger of Allah, what should wesay?"
He said: "Say: Allah is Most High and Most Glorious."
Abu Sufyaan said: We have al-'Uzza and you have no 'Uzza."
The Prophet blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Why
don''t you answer him?"
They said: "O Messenger of Allah, what should wesay?"
He said: "Say: Allah is ourSupporter and you have no supporter!"
Allah, may He be exalted,has taught His slaves thattrue pride and
perfect honour can only be achieved by obeying Allah. Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Whosoever desires honour, power and glory then to Allaah belong all
honour, power and glory [and one can get honour, power and glory only
by obeying and worshipping Allaah (Alone)]. To Him ascend (all) the
goodly words, and the righteous deeds exalt it (i.e. the goodly words
are not accepted by Allaah unless and until they are followed by good
deeds), but those who plot evils, theirs will be severe torment. And
the plotting of such will perish"
[Faatir 35:10].
i.e., and whoever would like to be honoured in this world and the
Hereafter, let him adhere to obedience to Allah, then he will attain
what he wants, because Allah is the Sovereign of this world and the
Hereafter, and all honour, power and glory belong to Him, as He says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Those who take disbelievers for Awliyaa' (protectors or helpers or
friends) instead of believers, do they seek honour, power and glory
with them? Verily, then to Allaah belongs all honour, power and glory"
[al-Nisa' 4:139]
"And let not their speechgrieve you (O Muhammad r), for all power and
honour belong to Allaah"
[Yoonus 10:65]
"But honour, power and glory belong to Allaah, and to His Messenger
(Muhammadصلى الله عليه وسلم(, and to the believers, but the hypocrites
know not"
[al-Munaafiqoon 63:8].
Mujaahid said: "Whosoever desires honour, power and glory" [al-Faatir
35:10] by worshipping idols, "then to Allaah belong all honour, power
andglory.
Qataadah said:"Whosoever desires honour, power and glory then to
Allaah belong all honour, power and glory"i.e., lethim seek honour,
powerand glory by obeying Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 6/536
Secondly:
With regard to a person feeling proud of himself,if it is because he
is religiously committed, righteous and pious, then it is good, but if
it isbecause of anything else, such as lineage, ancestry, wealth,
position or status amongpeople, then this is an act of Jaahiliyyah and
is not permissible.
Muslim (1550) narrated from Abu Maalik al-Ash'ari (may Allah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "There are four matters of Jaahiliyyah in my ummah
that they will not give up: pride in one's forefathers, slandering
lineages, seeking rain by the stars and wailing (for the dead)."
Muslim (5109) also narrated from 'Iyaad ibnHimaar al-Mujaasha'i (may
Allah be pleased with that) that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said one
day in his khutbah: "Allah has revealed to me that you should be
humble so that no one will boast to anyone else and no one will
transgress against anyone else."
Al-Majd Ibn Tamiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Allah has
forbidden on the lips of His Prophet two types of mistreatment of
people: pride and transgression against them and scorn.
Fayd al-Qadeer, 2/217
The guideline with regard to this issue is: whatever is a source of
pride and honour because of religion is part of the religion and is
praiseworthy; any source of pride other than that is blameworthy.
But feeling proud because of doing acts of obedience and worship means
feeling happy that one has been enabled to do that and feeling proud
of belonging to people who do that, and praising Allah for saving him
from shirk and its people, and from sin andits path.
As for looking down on the slaves of Allah and feeling that one is
abovethem because of acts of obedience that one has done, this is the
worst type of pride and arrogance, and the one who is like this is on
the brink of disaster and there is a danger that hisdeeds will be
thrown back at him.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear, - Is it permissible to put on a “magic show” and is it permissible to attend it?

What is your opinion onchildren watching shows for children which
include "magic" and the like? Some of the brothers in our mosque put
on a show that included "magic tricks", and I did not want my children
to go, so I did not let them. What is your opinion?
Praise be to Allah.
What we understand from the question is thata show was put on in the
mosque by children, in which there was whatis called "leger de main
(sleight of hand)" or "magic tricks". If this is what happened, then
you did well by not letting your children attend that show, in which
this evil action was done. The ones whoapproved of that and helped to
make it happen have done something wrong, and this is exacerbated if
the show was in the mosqueand if it was done by children. We hope that
they will not do this again. What they should be doing is raising
Muslim children with decent morals and manners, teaching them
beneficial knowledge and instilling in them the beliefs of Ahl
as-Sunnah wa'l-Jamaa'ah, without any contamination or confusion. If
you want toadvise them and denounce what was done, then you should do
so in a gentle and kind manner.
It should be noted that the magic which Allah, may He be exalted,
condemns and against which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) warned is that which may be called "the magicof
illusion". Allah, may He be exalted, mentioned it in His Holy Book,
when He said (interpretation of the meaning):"Then behold,their ropes
and their sticks, by their magic, appeared to him as though they moved
fast" [Ta-Ha 20:66]. Allah, may He be exalted, called this action of
theirs magic, and He called them magicians. Moreover, such shows may
give the impression that magic and magicians are harmless. This was an
error on the part of those who put onthese shows in the context of
educating children, in addition to the fact that it is a sin in and of
itself.
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan (may Allah preserve him) was asked:
What is the ruling on watching the "magic of illusion", whether that
isin real life or on television?
He replied:
It is not permissible to watch magic, whether it is real or is just
illusions. It is not permissible because it is falsehood, and it is
not permissible to witness or watch falsehood, because by watching it
one has approved of it, unless heis watching it in order todenounce it
and strive toput an end to it. In that case there is nothing wrong
with it. But if he watches it and says nothing, or he tells others
about it, this is haraam because it is idleentertainment.
End quote from the shaykh's website: http://www.alfawzan.ws /node/4827
The shaykh (may Allah preserve him) was also asked:
Often during the summer vacation there are festivals that are held for
leisure purposes, in which thereare circuses, and they bring people
who do things like tightrope walking or pulling cars along with their
hair or eating live coals, and other such things. Some of them appear
to be righteous. What is the ruling on these actions of theirs?
He replied: This comes from the Shaytaan, and these actions are from
the Shaytaan; no one can eat live coals, or drink boiling water. How
can he eat live coals? He is lying; it appears to the people asif he
is eating live coals, but in fact the coal does not reach him and does
not even come near his body. The same applies to the car that he pulls
along (with his hair). It isnot permissible for the Muslims to approve
of these things, even if theycall it illusion or artistry, or whatever
they call it. We should not open the door to magic, witchcraft, and
trickery. This is something that is not permissible and the
authorities should prevent it. It is obligatory for them to prevent it
right now andnot to approve of it. None of the seekers of knowledge
should keep quiet about this matter.
End quote from the shaykh's website: :
http://www.alfawzan.ws /node/48273
If your question is about something other than what we have mentioned,
then we hope that you will get intouch with us again and explain
further what is meant. We appreciate your efforts to take care of your
children and give them a sound Islamic upbringing.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear, - What is the ruling on eating beef that the country imports via smuggling and bribery?

I am from Bangladesh and the state cannot provide beef for its
inhabitants who number one hundred and forty million. On theother side
of the border,India is a huge country and they do not eat beef and
some states in India do not allow the Muslims to eat beef. Hence the
demand for cattle in Bangladesh hasled to a huge trade in smuggling
the animals, because India does not sell cattle legally. Hence some
people smuggle thousands of cattle to Bangladesh every day, and they
pay bribes at the Indian border and at the Bangladeshi border for the
purpose of smuggling.
My question is: 99% of the meat that is available – and the cows that
are slaughtered on Eid – are smuggled illegally from India.
Is it permissible for us to eat the meat of cattle that come to us by
means of bribery and smuggling?
Praise be to Allah.
There is no sin on you for buying beef in your country and eating it,
even if smuggling is widespread, for the following reasons:
Firstly:
The basic principle is that it is permissible to eat meat that is sold
in Muslim markets without asking or enquiring into its origin and
source, on the grounds that what appears to be the case is that the
meat is being sold in a permissible manner in a legitimate
marketplace; so the Muslim should not concern himself with asking
questions or examining details. The Mother of the Believers 'Aa'ishah
(may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that some people said: O
Messengerof Allah, some people bring meat to us and we do not know
whether they mentioned the name of Allah over it or not. The Messenger
of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Say the
nameof Allah over it and eat it."
Narrated by Muslim in hisSaheeh(2057).
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
We learn from this that everything that is found in the markets of the
Muslims may be taken as legitimate.
End quote fromFath al-Baari(9/635).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
(The scholars) were unanimously agreed that it is permissible to buy
meat without askingfor proof that it is halaal,being content with the
word of the slaughterer and the seller.
End quote fromI'laam al-Muwaqqi'een(2/181)
Secondly:
If we assume that there is something wrong, it only affects the one
whois doing the smuggling and breaking the law. Asfor the buyer
himself, heis not committing any sin or doing anything wrong, and he
is not helping in any sin or transgression. Allah, mayHe be glorified
and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"No person earns any (sin) except against himself (only), and no
bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another. Then unto your
Lord is your return, so Hewill tell you that wherein you have been
differing"
[al-An'aam 6:164].
Thirdly:
Beef that has been slaughtered properly is halaal meat according tothe
consensus of the fuqaha', and it does not become haraam if it reaches
the country by illegal means. The prohibition [on smuggling] does not
apply to the meat itself, contrary to the case if the cow is
slaughtered in a way that is not prescribed in Islam, such as if the
name of Allah is not mentioned over it orit is slaughtered in a manner
other than that used by the Muslims. In that case its meat is haraam.
As for smuggling, the prohibition does not make the meat haraam;
rather the wrongdoing in this case is limited to breaking the law of
the land.
Fourthly:
The fact that the people would suffer a great deal of hardship if a
fatwa were to be issued forbidding them to buy this meat is sufficient
evidence that it is permissible. According to what is mentioned in the
question, the vast majority of the meat that is sold in the
marketplaces comes from the smuggling mentioned. Moreover, there would
be a huge rise in prices if this source of meat was banned. The basic
shar'i principle on which thereis scholarly consensus says that
hardship makesit permissible to be lax inimplementing shar'i rules.
To sum up:
Regardless of the laws ofthese countries and whether they allow the
importing of cattle or not, and regardless of the extent to which that
serves the interests of the people or not, none of that has any impact
on the meat of these cattle, even if the consumer is certain that it
comes from smuggled cattle.
And Allah knows best.

Big Ship that Landed on an Island: Life of this World and Hereafter in Islam

There was once a big ship that landed on an Island. The Captain said
to the people: "Dear passengers, we will anchor here for you to gather
provision and admire the nature and we shall move on with our journey
in a few hours time".
All passengers got off androamed around the island in groups.
Some 'Wise' gentlemen and ladies walked peacefully, collected some
souvenirs and food for the journey and returned quickly to the ship.
Since they were the first ones back, they got the best and comfortable
places on the ship.
The second group of 'Forgetful' people walked, played and enjoyed
their time. They admired the island and explored its nature. But soon
they remembered the ship, so they ran back, without any food and
souvenirs. Coming onboard, they were tired, but alas the best seats
were taken, so they had to do with the less comfortable ones.
The third group of ' Greedyand Lustful' people got amazed by the
wonders of this island and they began to collect its plants and
precious stones. After a while, having heard the call of their
captain, they started to head back to the ship, carrying plants,
stones and jewelry of all colors and value. However, the heaviness of
the treasure they eagerly wanted to bring back slowed their return,and
by the time they reached the shore, the boat had already left.
And finally, some 'Aimlessand Narrow-Minded' people, convinced
themselves that the island was all there is andthe ship was just
something they had imagined. They thus explored the island and built
for themselves houses. The boat, of course left them to perishon the
island and to be forgotten by everyone.
Similarly, on our journey to Allah (SWT), The Creator, we have landed
on this island, called the World (Dunya).
Some 'Wise' gentlemen and ladies will walk around and collect good
deeds, love and knowledge of Allah (SWT)and quickly return to
TheCreator. They of course will be handed paradise, the best of it!
The second group of 'Forgetful' people will getdistracted by the world
(Dunya) until their last moment. They will then repent at the last
minute.Perhaps they will make it and get the lowest levels of paradise
(Jannah).
The third group of 'Greedy and Lustful' people will be amazed bythe
world, and get attracted by its temporary and fake beauty. They will
indulge in desire and food and be illusion by it. Perhaps, a call will
bring them back to realization, but alas, the attraction will be too
much to leave behind and they will missthe ship of salvation.
And finally, some 'Aimlessand Narrow-Minded' people will just ignore
the journey to Allah (SWT) and pretend that this world is all there
is. They will take their houses as their homes and their desires as
god. Indeed history as seen many people as such, but no one remembers
them. They have been left in hell.
So, my friend... The ship is waiting, please jump on board! Your
Creator Allah (SWT) is calling you: Oh man! Surely you must strive to
your Lord, a hard striving, until you meet Him. Noble Qur'an (84:6)
Imam Ali Naqi (as)said: The world is a market in which one group makes
profit and another groupincurs loss.
Imam Mohammad Bagher(as) said: The one that sincerity of truth and
faith took place in his heart, will turn his face from decorations and
ornaments of the world.
Moral of the Story: Those who spend their lives devoted blindly to
worldly goods will realizethat they consumed all their lives chasing
illusions. They will realizetheir ridiculous situation after they die.
Only then will the ultimate purpose of life, to be a sincere servant
of Allah (SWT), beclear to them.

No Escape From Death: A Real Life Story of ProphetSolomon / Sulaiman (as)

Almighty Allah (SWT) made Prophet Solomon / Sulaiman (as)King of a
vast kingdom, which included His entire creation. The Jinn and men
obeyed his will and even the birds adhered to his commands, to the
extent of using their wings to provide shelter for him. He was also
given many other powerssuch as being able to talkto animals and
control the wind so that it could carry him wherever he wished to go.
Prophet Solomon (as) was blessedwith an extraordinary power of
perception and intelligence.
It is narrated that one day, a man entered the court of Prophet
Solomon (as), looked around at all the people and went out again. When
the court adjourned, one of the people present approached Prophet
Sulaiman (as) and asked him whether he knew this strange man.
"The person you saw wasthe angel of death (Izrael)" replied Prophet
Solomon (as). The man was taken aback and looked worried.
"Why was he staring at me as though he wanted to take my soul?" he asked.
"What do you want me todo?" enquired Prophet Sulaiman (as).
"O Solomon!" exclaimed the man. "You have power over the wind. Command
it to transport me to the land of Hind (India)."
As the man was a believer, Prophet Solomon (as) agreed and granted his wish.
A few days later, Prophet Solomon (as) saw the angel of death again.
He asked him why he had been staring at the man so intently on that
particular day.
"O Solomon!" replied the angel of death. "Allah (SWT) commanded me to
take the soul of that man on the soil of Hind. When I saw him sitting
in your court, I could not understand how I could carry out Allah's
order. Nevertheless, as it was a divine command, I left for Hind and
fortunately found the man there. I took his soul as Allah (SWT) had
commanded."
There is nothing more certain than death. It is a reality, which
nobody can escape from. Allah (SWT), the Almighty says:"Wherever you
may be, death shall overtake you, even if you were in fortified
towers". Noble Qur'an (4:78)
Imam Ali (as)said: Any breath that a man breathes is a step towards death.
Imam Ali (as) said: You are the game that death hunts. If you stand
still it will seize (catch) you. If you ran (flee) away it
willovertake you.

Why an authoritarian rule is against Islam

Forcing people to believe in a religion or to adopt its forms of
belief is completely contrary to the essence and spirit of Islam. That
is because according to Islam, true faith is only possible with free
will and freedom of conscience.
In the contemporary world, there are people who envisage or
supportauthoritarianism in the name of Islam. However this is a great
misconception. Islam is areligion which provides and guarantees
freedomof ideas, thought and life. It has issued commands to prevent
and forbid tension, disputes, slander and even negative thinking among
people. In the same way that it is determinedly opposed to terrorism
and all acts of violence, it has also forbidden even the slightest
ideological pressure to be put on them:
There is no compulsion in religion. True guidance has become clearly
distinct from error.(Surat al-Baqara: 256)
So remind them! You areonly a reminder. You arenot in control of
them.(Surat al -Ghashiyya: 21-22)
Forcing people to believe in a religion or to adopt its forms of
belief is completely contrary to the essence and spirit of Islam. That
is because according to Islam, true faith is only possible with free
will and freedom of conscience. Of course, Muslims can advise and
encourage each other about the features of Qur'anic morality. All
believers are charged with explaining Qur'anicmorality to people in
thenicest manner possible. They will explain the beauties of religion
in the light of the verse,"Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom
and fair admonition..."(Suratan-Nahl: 125), however, they must also
bear in mind the verse,"You are not responsible for their guidance,
but God guides whoever He wills."(Surat al-Baqara: 272)
Thus true Muslims will never resort to compulsion, nor any kind of
physical or psychological pressure. Neither will they use anyworldly
privilege to turn someone towards religion. When they receive a
negative response to what they say, Muslims will reply along the lines
of:"To you your religion, and tome, mine"(Surat al- Al-Kafirun: 6)
The world we live in contains societies with all kinds of beliefs:
Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, atheist, deist and even pagan.
Muslims living in such a world must be tolerant of all beliefs they
come up against, no matter what they may be, and behave forgivingly,
justly and humanely. This responsibility placed on believers invites
people to the beauty of the religion of God by means of peace and
tolerance. The decision whether or not to implement these truths,
whether or not tobelieve, lies with the other party. Forcing that
person to believe, or trying to impose anything on him, is a violation
of Qur'anic morality. In fact, God issues a reminder to believers in
the Qur'an:
If your Lord had willed, all the people on the earth would have
believed. Do you think you can force people to be believers?(Surat
Yunus: 99)
We know best what theysay and you [O Muhammad] are not a compeller
over them. But warn by the Qur'an whoever fears My warning.(Surat Qaf:
45)
A model of society in which people are forced to worship is a complete
contradiction to Islam. Belief and worship are only of any value when
they are directed to God by the free will of the individual. If a
system imposes belief and worship on people, thenthey will become
religious out of fear of that system. From the religious point of
view, what really counts is thatreligion should be lived for God's
good pleasure in an environment where peoples' consciences are totally
free.
When we look at the history of Islam, the way that Muslims have
translated this importantfeature of Qur'anic morality into the life of
society can be seen quiteclearly. Since the Prophet Muhammed, true
Muslims have always brought with them an atmosphere of freedom and
tolerance wherever they have gone. They have enabledpeople whose
religions, languages and cultures are completely different from one
another to live together in peace and harmony under one roof, and
provided peace and harmony for its own members. One ofthe most
important reasons for the centuries-long existence of the Ottoman
Empire, which spread over an enormous region, was the atmosphere of
tolerance and understanding that Islam brought with it. Within this
multi-national structure, all ethnic and religious groups have been
free to live according to theirown religions, and their own rules.
Barbarism in the name of religion, that is so preoccupying the world
at present, is the work ofignorant and fanatical people, completely
estranged from Qur'anic morality, and who have absolutely nothing to
dowith religion. The solution to these people and groups who try to
carry out their savagery under the mask of religion is the teaching of
true Qur'anic morality.
Islam and Qur'anic morality are solutions to the scourge of bigotry,
barbarism and terrorism,not supporters of it.

The pleasant conversations of believers

The believers don't seek such goals of their lower selves as to put
themselves in the forefront or have the final say. Therefore they
have a reasonable, calm manner. Out of their understanding of
courtesy based on their commitment to the Quran's moral values,
they always allow others to be in the forefront, try to benefit from
what others say and refrain from acting in an ignorant fashion.
Their conversations are sincere and honest. Since believers consult
each other in everything they do, everyone's opinions count. The
believers stay away from proud and stubborn actions such as 'my ideas
are better'. A believer is always aware of the fact that someone
else might know better. For these reasons, these good conversations
help believers gain a stronger faith, think deeper, comprehend
things better and ponder more on the signs leading to faith.
Conversations are actually very good opportunities to get to know
the people, benefit from their ideas and thoughts. The emotions,
thoughts, desires as well as their mistakes reflect on their talks.
The tone is an important indicator to tell a deep believer apart
from a person with low moral qualities. Because a believer, out of
his firm fear of Allah, never makes the person he is talking to
uncomfortable. His speech is sincere, wise, inspires confidence,
courteous, reasonable, humble and positive. He carefully avoids void
and unnecessary conversations that could lead people to pessimism,
despair and conflicts.
What is "Wisdom"?
The word 'wisdom' has a wide meaning which can be summarized as
'putting things in the perfect way possible both in speech and
manners, concisely speaking, yet with immense meaning, and the deep
understanding capacity that Allah bestowed on His Prophets and holy
servants'. Islamic scholars defined wisdom in many ways, but the
majority agrees on the following:
"Wisdom is beneficial knowledge and sincere actions." (Elmalili M.
Hamdi Yazir, True Religion, Language of the Quran I, 915)
So, talking wisely should be understood as beneficial, concise, true,
essential talks done at the right time and at the right place.
The conversations of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) are the best examples
of conversations
A believer, even if he has knowledge of the subject discussed, thinks
of the possibility that other person might know that subject as
well, and therefore listens to his brothers and sisters with
interest and courtesy. This superior moral value of believers comes
from the fact that they follow Quran's verses, and look up to the
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) in everything they do. Imam Gazali,
describes the conversations of the Prophet Mohammad as follows,
based on the hadiths:
"...He would pay compliment to everyone present at his sight.
Therefore, everyone would get the idea that they were the most
merited there. The way he sat, listened, his words, beautiful
compliments were only for the people that sat at his presence. But
his gatherings were places of respect, humility and safety… He
would call his companions with their appellation to compliment them
and if any of them didn't have appellation, they would find
appellation for them and address them so…" ( Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, , Ihya Ulum-id-din ,, 2. cilt, Çeviri: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle,
Huzur Yayın Evi, 1998, s.798)
Aisha (ra) explains the words of the Prophet Muhammad (saas) on how
a Muslim should talk:
" When he talked, his words didn't come in a rapid succession like
yours do, he would talk little but in a concise way. But you keep on
adding new sentences." ( Al Fawaid, Hujjat- ul-Islam, Imam Ghazzali,
Ihya Ulum-id-din, vol.2, Translation: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle, Huzur
Publishing House, Istanbul 1998, s. 800)
"The Messenger of Allah, the Prophet Mohammad (saas) talked very
concisely (with short, concise words, which convey lots of meanings.
His short sentences would give the message he intended, he never
said less or more than exactly what is needed. His words followed
each other in a harmonic way, he would pause between sentences,
making sure that his listeners understood and memorized what he
said. He had a strong and pleasant voice. He talked when necessary
and always told the truth." (Abu Dawud, , Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, Ihya Ulum-id- din, 2. cilt, Çeviri: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle, Huzur
Yayınevi, İstanbul 1998, s. 800)
"When he paused, the people in his presence started talking. No one
would argue in his presence." (Tirmidhi; Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, , Ihya Ulum-id-din , vol.2, Translation: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle,
Huzur Publishing House, Istanbul 1998, s. 800)
"He was very genial, he always smiled at the Companions, liked what
they said, listened to them very carefully and considered himself to
be one of them as well." (a.g.e.)
"He gives wisdom to whoever He wills and he who has been given
wisdom has been given great good. But no one pays heed but people of
intelligence ..." (Surat al-Baqara, 269)
As the verse states, not only Prophets but ordinary people can be
wise as well. All believers- women and men- can ask our Lord to
grant them such a blessing.
The believers are aware of the huge blessing in wisdom, and ask
Allah to grant them 'wisdom, eloquence and articulateness. Allah
gives the Prophet Abraham's (pbuh) prayer as an example to believers
in the Quran:
" My Lord, give me right judgement and unite me with the righteous;
and make me highly esteemed among the later peoples; ." (Surat
ash-Shu'ara, 83-84)

According to Quran's moral values, the importance of allowing others to have the final say

Almighty Allah ordered believers preach their religion to others as
well. Therefore, telling the existence, oneness and greatness of
Allah and inviting them to live by the Quran values, is a great
blessing and a very important worship for Muslims. For this reason,
believers remember Allah, always say the best of the words, preach
the message of Islam, enjoin the good, and forbid the bad. However,
they avoid turning conversations into a monologue, without
allowing anyone else to speak, as they know this is not the attitude
preached by Quran's moral values.
Allah states in the following verse that everything everyone says
are recorded:
" No indeed! We will write down what he says and prolong the
punishment for him. We will inherit from him the things he is talking
about and he will come to Us all alone." (Surah Maryam, 79-80)
Therefore people are responsible for every idea and thought they
have, everything they do, just like everything they say and they
will be treated accordingly in the hereafter. For this reason the
goal of a person must be avoiding to say a word that could make him
ashamed and repent at the Sight of Allah.
Those who are aware of this important truth revealed by our Lord in
the Quran and who live by these good moral values, are no doubt the
'believers'. The believers, spend all their lives to gain the
pleasure of Allah. Everything they do, every decision they make,
their actions, behaviors are all intended to please Allah. The same
thing goes for their speeches, conversations and tone. The
believers, in pursuit of Allah's pleasure, will speak only if what
he is going to say, will make a positive contribution to the person
he is talking to. They never seek to draw attention, show off their
knowledge when they are speaking to someone. Sometimes they don't
talk at all, and just listen. And sometimes it might be just a
couple of sentences that is needed to convey his opinion and chooses
to benefit from the ideas of the other person instead. However,
some people use a far different style of speech other than the one
based the Quran's moral values.
The mistakes that prevent a conversation from being a wise one
The believers will only speak for Allah's pleasure, and only if that
speech is going to make a positive impact on the person he is
speaking to. He doesn't seek to be on the forefront. However, many
people just try to be one in the spotlight, making all the talk,
acting with an attitude of 'I know the best, so I have to talk the
most'. Some of these undesired qualities can be listed as follows:
never listening to anyone, and interrupting others, usually talking
with a loud voice. This way these people think that they can make
others listen to them and gain their respect. They never hesitate to
shout in attempts to show how right they are, or to deter, convince
or silence others. However Muslims talk with a reasonable level of
voice. Allah shows the Prophet Luqman (pbuh) as an example to
believers. The Prophet Luqman (pbuh) advises his son as follows:
Be moderate in your tread and lower your voice. The most hateful of
voices is the donkey's bray . (Surah Luqman, 19)
These people don't ever think of listening to others or benefitting
from their ideas. According to them, turning conversations into a
one-man conference is an achievement, makes them superior,
therefore they never imagine that it could disturb other people.
According to them, it is not possible for others to have more
knowledge in a subject or put it in a more clever way. This is an
attitude the believers must refrain from strictly. Our Lord states
as follows:
... We raise the rank of anyone We will. Over everyone with
knowledge is a Knower. (Surah Yusuf, 76)
People with the 'I know the best' attitude, usually try to give the
appearance of being the smartest, wisest and most knowledgeable
person around. They don't need deep knowledge or expertise to act
like that, it could be something everyone knows, or that they only
know of superficially, or that they heard from others. In every
opportunity, they try to prove their so-called knowledge and
experience to people around them. Just like it is the case in many
other bad habits, the source of 'I know the best' attitude comes from
the inner self, the enemy of wisdom and common sense.
Listening to a speaking person courteously without interrupting is a
good attitude, which will hopefully be a means for Allah's
pleasure. Such behavior will also be an indication of respect to the
speaker. However, people away from Quran's moral values, usually
don't listen to others, and even interrupt or talk at the same
time. This is especially common on debate programs on TVs. Even
well-educated people that are expected to behave in a more proper
way, can be very impolite and uncivil. Such people, instead of
trying to benefit from what is explained, just strive to make others
listen to them and concede defeat.
Making long sentences during conversations is another attitude that
usually makes others uncomfortable. Usually, one is expected to
pause between sentences and ask the opinions of others. If another
person starts speaking too, he also must avoid repeating the
sentences, and make long sentences. Also, changing the subject and
starting to talk about something else while someone is still trying
to say something are other actions that must be abstained from.
Believers, out of courtesy, listen to the speaker while looking in
the face of that person, not force anyone to listen, especially if
that person is trying to leave.
Listening to a speaking person courteously without interrupting is a
good attitude, which will hopefully be a means for Allah's
pleasure. Such behavior will also be an indication of respect to the
speaker.
It is of course very natural for a specialized person to talk, in an
area that requires expertise. However, everyone should join in so
that everyone can express their opinions and ideas. This will make
sure that everyone's opinions are learned, and it also gives the
opportunity to have an idea about people's personality. Thoughts
such as 'he knows less than I do, so he shouldn't talk' or 'only
those ones with knowledge should talk' are wrong. Maybe someone has
less technical knowledge compared to others, but one who has been
given wisdom by Allah, may come to realize aspects of the subject
that others are unknown to others. Or perhaps the person that knows
all the details about the subject got drowned in details and missed
the big picture. For these reasons, it is significant that every
person that is participating in a conversation, expresses their
ideas so that new ideas and points of view are known.
The Prophet Mohammad (saas) also drew attention to unnecessary
conversations which don't include praising Allah in one hadith:
Ibn Umar (RA) narrates:
"The Prophet Mohammad (saas) said: "Don't talk too much other than
for praising Allah. Because talking too much other than talking
about Allah, will make the heart gloomy (hard). Know that, one that
is farthest from Allah is who has a gloomy heart."(Tirmidhi, Zuhd
62, (2413). (5891)

Story, - He doesn’t even consider kis ...

I am married for two years now and I am already used to the impatience
of my husband, every time we go to bed he wants to make wild sex (Ok,
not every day, but 3-4 times aweek). But after it's over he totally
loses interest inme – he immediately turns to the other side and falls
deeply asleep.
He is not as kind as to kissme, or caress me – he falls asleep in his
half of the bed, as if I don't exist.And this gets from bad to worse
for me.
I am asking myself " Does he need me at all – or he simply needs the
sexual satisfaction?"
I bury my head in the pillow and cry silently.
Sometimes he notices that I cry and opens his eyes in surprise – " Why
are you crying now? What is wrong again? " – and that's all.
I tried a couple of times to shorten the distance inbed after the
sexual act, to show him that I need caress and tenderness.
But nothing worked – "Go to sleep, I am tired, I need to get up early
in the morning cause I havean important meeting" – that would be his
way of turning down my attempts to show him that I need him after sex.
I don't know what to do?
I am afraid to tell it straight forward...
I don't want tenderness that is obtained by begging!

Story, - IT'S NOT MY LIFE

I appeal to the women, who are not spoilt, whichinsist on their
principals, but are forced to compromise, I appeal to the resigned
mothers who combine family withcareer, and I appeal to the beautiful
loners.
I have married 13 years ago against my parent's will. I've been crying
in my first marriage night, sitting on the bedroom suit. I gave birth
to two children, which are very close with me. They painfully miss me,
when Iam travelling, or I am working, or I am under treatment far from
home.
I will not go in details about my life.
My real problem, which I am trying intuitively to solve, started 4
years ago.We have never had regular sexual life with my husband, but
some years ago he definite boycotted the intimacy with me.
I've tried to talk to him – he didn't want. I did my best to be very
gentile with him – no success. I've been bagging him to sleep with me.
I am an attractive woman, lovable and tender. I could not find
explanation for his behavior. I felt physical pain from the need of
sex. I had dizziness, I fainted I've been trembling; my hands and
tongue were tingling. I had two hard nerve crises. I have been
testingdifferent medicines for a long time, while the doctors were
trying to diagnose my problem. I've passed so many diagnoses and
finally they said panic disease. During a scandal with myhusband he
mentioned that I am zero in the bed. I was so deeply hurt, that I
became speechless.
I haven't been touched by a man for about a year. The ruins from the
decided woman woke upin me and I betrayed. AndI did it again – with
otherman. I started to discoverhow different I can be when I am really
excited. Excuse me for the naturalistic descriptions, but I have
nothing to lose, a lot of women would understand.
My husband was jealous, even though he didn't know for the others. I
was trying not to be. When one morning he said that he'd been writing
SMS with a woman we knew, but her husband understood.Everything
turned. He had been sleeping with her. He did not deny. Before the
confession sheused to come to our house only when he was alone. After
his confession about the relationship with her I started to calm him
down. It was seen he wasmuch tensed. The atmosphere at home
waspoisoned for the next two weeks. I wished to hurt him, and I told
him I had other men too. Since that moment already seven months except
thatwe don't make sex, we talk officially only. We started to chase
each other. And we fight in a really ugly way.
We have totally different eyesight for our kids' upbringing.
No more tenderness.
Each of us steals it outside. He sits chatting when we are at home. I
start to act bitingly.
We turned on co-tenant, which are growing up common kids. We hate each
other. We are jealous form each other. We can't stand each other. We
avoid each other. We talked for separation.
He said he can't stay away from our daughter.What about our son? I
can't live without my kids, but I can't bear him anymore. I feel
incapableof falling in love again. He suspects I want to live with
another man. It's funny and miserable. I just can't live with him. I
am shocked. I can't leave.And I have no where. I have no resources. I
am unable to take care of mykids alone. And I can't stay without them.
It's a long story.
What am I supposed to do??

The Prophet's way in correcting people's mistakes

Anas Ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said:"Whilst we were in
the Mosque with the Messenger of Allaha Bedouin came and stood
urinating in the Mosque. The Companions of the Messenger of Allahsaid,
'Stop it! Stop it!' and were about to attack him. But the Messenger of
Allahsaid, 'Do not interrupt him; leave him alone.' So they lefthim
until he had finished urinating, then the Messenger of Allahcalled him
and said to him, 'In these Mosques it is not right to do anything like
urinating or defecating; they are only for remembering Allaah, praying
and reading Qur'aan,' or words to that effect. Then he commanded a man
who was there to bring a bucket of water and throw it over the
)urine(, andhe did so.")Muslim(
The principle which the Prophetfollowed in dealing with this mistake
was to treat the man gently, not to be harsh with him.
The Prophetwas thinking of the likely consequences of the two options
- stopping him or leaving him alone. If they tried to stop him,
forcing a man to suppress his urination could do him harm, and if he
was unable to stop but moved away because he was afraid of them, the
impurity would be spread over a wider area of the Mosque and on the
man's body and clothing. TheProphethad the farsightedness to see that
leavingthe man alone until he had finished urinating was the lesser of
two evils, especially since the man had already started doing it,and
it was a problem that they would be able to do something about by
cleaning it afterwards. So he told his companions to leave him alone
and not to interrupt him.
Ibn Hajarmentioned in his commentary a number of things we learn from
the hadith about the Bedouin, among which are the following:
- We should be gentle when dealing with one who is ignorantand teach
him what he needs to know without rebuking him, so long as he is not
acting out of stubbornness, especially if he is one who needs to be
won over.
- The Prophetwas kind and he dealt nicely with him.
- The idea of taking precautions against impurity was established well
in the minds of the Sahabah)Prophet's companions(, which is why they
hastened to denounce it in the presence of the Prophetwithout first
asking his permission. The idea of enjoining what is good and
forbidding what is evil was also well established in their minds.
- We should also hasten to remove anything objectionable when there is
nothing to stop us from doing so, because when theman had finished
urinating, the Prophetissued instructions that the place should be
cleaned with water.
Explaining the seriousness of the mistake
Ibn 'Umar, Muhammad Ibn Ka'b, Zayd Ibn Aslam and Qutadahreported )the
following is compiled from their reports( thatduring the campaign of
Tabook, aman said, "We have never seen anyone who loves food and tells
lies more than our rectors, or anyone who is more cowardly in the
battlefield" - referring to the Messenger of Allahand his Companions.
Awf Ibn Malik said, 'You are lying! You are a hypocrite, and I am
going to tell the Messenger of Allah. ' Awf went to the Messenger of
Allahto tell him, but found that Qur'aan had already been revealed
concerningit. That man came to the Prophetwho was riding his camel,
and said, "O Messenger of Allahwe were only talking idly and joking,
just to pass time in the journey." Ibn 'Umarsaid, "It is as if I saw
him hanging onto the reins of the Prophet's camel, with the stones
hitting his feet, saying, "We were only talking idlyand joking,"
whilst the Messenger of Allahwas reciting )what means(:
"Say: 'Is it Allah and His verses and His Messenger that you were
mocking?'")Qur'an 9: 65(
We see that the prophet's reply to these abominable remarks was by
reciting some verses of the Qur'aan by which this man was told that
Allaah and His Messenger are far above mocking. Hedidn't become
enraged or order that the man should be punished severely. Any one
else may do that, but the Prophet was sent as a mercy to all creation
and to be an exampleof how people should behave.

Doctor Bee

In the Quran, Allaah, Almighty, Says )what means(:"And your Lord
inspired the bees, saying: 'Take you habitations in the mountains and
in the trees and in what they erect. Then, eat of all fruits, and
follow the ways of your Lord made easy ]for you[.' There comes forth
from their bellies, a drink of varying color wherein is healing for
men. Verily, in this is indeed a sign for people who think."]Quran 16:
68-69[
I am the doctor; I am the handcrafter of medicine. You come to me to
take your medicine from my pharmacy, the one that I prepare myself to
heal you, Allaah willing, from your diseases. The medicine I make
never tastes bitter to annoy whoever takes it; on the contrary,it is
sweet and delicious and everyone likes it. In fact, it has many colors
and many odors; it smells like roses in the garden, flowers and basil,
or even jasmine. The colors of my medicine are pure and beautiful:
pure white, red, or yellow.
Its healing power is guaranteed, and the patient does not need a
medical check by the physician; furthermore, whoever takes it will not
have any side effects or complications because it heals and
strengthens, it is always useful and never useless.
None of the whole creation can make such medicine because it is my
secret and no one else can have it. In fact, no creature taught me
this secret; moreover, I never went to school and never studied at any
university. However, I am excellent at manufacturing this healing
medicine.
Do not wonder at this speech, and do not say: "How should we believe?
These are just dreams." In fact, I am not dreaming or lying; I am
telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
Do you want to know who taught me my secret? He is the Great Creator,
Allaah, Almighty, Who created me and taught me the right path and
guided me by His inspiration and simplified thisability for me.
Allaah, Almighty, created a great factory in my tiny body, in which
there are very minute instruments that make this medicine. After that,
He permitted me to go and extract materials from fruits and roses'
nectar that would never harm the rose; then I mix that nectar inmy
body to let my instruments work with the Aid of the All-Powerful
Allaah to extract an excellent medicine, pure and veryuseful. Do you
know now who I am?
Yes, I guess you know that I am the BEE, and the medicine I make is
honey. I am a very tiny hyperactive creature that never tires or
becomes lazy or even sick. I usually do my work with determination and
never feel bored, but rather I spend my whole life making honey.
Allaah, Almighty, inspired me to build my well-organized shelter, so I
build it in a hexagonal shape,strongly fixed from its ends; thenHe let
me fly easily using my tiny wings in order to reach the valleys and
the green fields extracting flowers' nectar and tasting many fruits
before I return home. When I return, I empty all that I collected,
then store it. Then I go out again, and so on, feeling neither fatigue
nor boredom.
As a matter of fact, I do not ask any recompense from you for my
effort except to consider my existence and respect my living space.
Therefore, I do not like anyone to threaten my life or assault me
because we, bees, do not like aggression and we love to live safely.
However, if anyone attempts to endanger our lives, we are very brave
and our weapons are our stinging lances. Our soldiers sacrifice their
lives for the defense of our kingdom and they are fierce in battle for
a sting would certainly cost a bee its life.That is because its
stinging lance is attached to its vital organs, and when it impales
its victim its bowels exit its body and it dies horribly as you see.
Allaah, Almighty, has honored us in His Book )Quran( and featured us
by giving one chapter of His Book our name and has granted us the
honor of His inspiration. Not only that, but He, Almighty, predestined
our lives and guided us to the way of our work. If you want to know
something about our kingdom or the organization of our government,
then our kingdom does not differ much from yours, and our government
resembles yours to a great extent.
We have a Queen who rules us and whom we obey and guard. The work is
divided among us: some make wax, others work in honey and another team
builds the shelters, while still others bring water. We usually arise
veryearly in the morning, and our drone's example has led to people
saying: "he wakes as earlyas a drone."
Some of our hive members keep flapping their wings to refresh the air
of the cell, and some are the soldiers and yet some others are just
males. We shall return now, dear friends, to my medicine.
Honey has been mentioned in theQuran, and Allaah, Almighty, described
it as a cure for what ails people. It is a sterilized medicine in
which no microbe or insect can live. If you want to be sure of this
power take some honey and put an insect in it and you will find that
it will be dead in a few seconds.
Honey is a cure for so many diseases, and it is the medicine
recommended by our Prophet Muhammadwho said:"You have the two cures:
Honey and the Quran."]Ibn Maajah[
Moreover, honey is mentioned in the Quran when Allaah,
Almighty,speaking about the rivers of Paradise, Says )what
means(:"Thedescription of Paradise which thepious have been promised
]is that[ in it are rivers of water, the taste and smell of which are
not changed, rivers of milk of which the taste never changes, rivers
of wine delicious to those who drink, and rivers of clarified honey
]clear and pure[..."]Quran 47: 15[
A man came to the Prophetand said:"My brother has some abdominal
trouble." The Prophetsaid to him: "Let him drink honey," - the man
came for the second time and the Prophetsaid to him "Let him drink
honey." - He came for the third time and the Prophetsaid,"Let him
drink honey." - He returned again and said, "I have done that." The
Prophetthen said, "Allaah has said the truth, but your brother's
abdomen has told a lie. Let him drink honey." So he made him drink
honey and he was cured at last."
Some doctors said that the patient mentioned in the Hadeeth had the
following situation: That man had some harmful wastes gathered in his
abdomen. So when he drank honey for the first time, the wastes
disintegrated and left his body gradually. The wastes were discharged
from the patient's body and he was cured by the Power of Allaah,
Almighty.
Now have you been acquainted with my whole life, dear friends? I guess
you love me now and you are not afraid of me anymore, because as you
see I harm no oneexcept the one who harms me, since my sting costs me
my life.
So be my good friends and allow me to do the work that Allaah,
Almighty, has inspired and taught me to do. Peace be with you.

The disastrous Asian quake & Tsunami: who made it and why?

Much has been said, up to the moment, about thelate deadly earthquake
that hitSumatrawith devastating effects whichextended far to the East
African coast, distributingdifferent degrees of damage to nearly 10
countries. This much talk is, no doubt, justified andworth listening
to to some extent. Economists discuss this great event from an
economic perspective, the extent ofloss the quake and its concomitant
'Tsunamis' cost the inflicted countries, how much the reconstruction
of those damaged houses, buildings, green fields and tourist resorts
cost, the potential financial repercussions due to the loss of tourism
on which some countries depend as a source of national income, etc.
Geologists, for their part, highlight the scientific explanations for
such seismic events, focusing on the physical interactions that occur
within the Earth or on its surface that result in earthquakes,
volcanic eruptions and other phenomena that take place on land and in
sea.
Ordinary people, watching TV tearful scenes of floating corpses,
injured women and children, crying people who lost their shelters,
relatives, express their deep sympathy for them and may pray for the
salvation of their humans.
Mass media alert their armies of journalists and correspondents to
spot any late-breaking bits of news on such events, giving the chance
to all of the aforementioned kinds of people )both theinflicted and
the spectators( to express their reactions to the disastrous incidence
being witnessed. Viewersand listeners, worldwide and round the clock,
are now brought to the scene of the Asian tidal wave and its effects,
and informed in each news bulletin about the latest count of death and
injury.
International relief agencies and charitable organizations take their
responsibilities and makearrangements to extend a helping hand to the
afflicted areas with food, medicine, blankets, tents and other
essential relief items that are means to preserve their life, blood
and tears.
To sum up the whole issue, there are two kindsof witnesses on the
stageof the event: first, the people )or the real actors( who are
exposed to the earthquake and tsunami )including the surviving, dead,
and injured people( and second, the people outside the frame of the
disaster, who are spectators )journalists, media viewers/listeners,
analysts and commentators on different aspects of the event, such as
geologists, economists, and politicians, etc.(.
We are informed about the quake through the media, with the physical
reasons being explained by geologists, the financial losses
estimatedby economists, relief plans and procedures by relief agencies
and charitable individuals, and lastly, the heartfelt sorrow and pity
of ordinary people.
But is that all? Is it merelya land or marine slide or volcanic
eruption that caused all these disasters? Is it just an angry reaction
while in a bad temper on the part of 'Mother Nature', a mythical
non-entity? What about the Creator of the universe and all that it
contains: mankind,animals, seas, trees, air, fire, etc?! Does He not
have any say on those matters? Why do people look at nature as Master,
whereas the Real and True Master )Allaah Almighty( is forgotten or
made to rule supreme only in the confines of the Mosque, the church or
the Synagogue?
Yes, it is right to say that volcanoes, quakes, tsunamis, floods,
hurricanes and other catastrophes are caused by certain topographic
orgeologic factors )causes(, but what about the Causer? Why did the
Causer cause this or that catastrophe? Why does a same catastrophe
repeatedly happen in a same place? Why do they rarely take place in
certain places such asArabia, for example?
The Quran, the Muslim's Holy Book, provides answers to these questions
and addresses such disasters from different angles which are never
approached by almost all classes of people mentioned above when
commenting on such disasters in the media )regrettably, including
Muslims(.
The Noble Quran conveys to people the messages and points of wisdom
behind the different disasters that Allaah Almighty inflicts upon
people throughout human history. Volcanoes, hurricanes, earthquakes,
tsunamis, etc, according to the Quran, are soldiers sent by Allaah
Almighty to carry out one of the following duties )to mention only
some of them(:
1-Punishing sinful people:
This is applicable to the people of old who rejected the Divine
message brought to themby Prophets Nooh )Noah(,Luut )Lot(,
Moosa)Moses(, and other Prophets. The Quran states )what means(:"So We
)i.e. Allaah Almighty( punished each )of them- sinful people( for his
sins; of them weresome on whom We sent a violentwind with shower of
stones ]as on the people of Lût )Lot([, and ofthem were some who were
overtaken by an awful cry ]by Angel Jibreel )Gabriel( as a torment[,
and of them were some whom We caused the earthto swallow ]as Qaaroon
)Korah([, and of them were some whom We drowned ]as the people of Nooh
)Noah(, or Fir'awn)Pharaoh( and his people[. It was not Allaah Who
wronged them, but it was they who wronged themselves."]Quran 29:40[
Let us consider the placeswhere those disastrous events take place;
are there not sinful practices in public, especially on seashores and
in tourist resorts?
1-To remind people of the Hereafter so as to be heedful:
Allaah Almighty says in the Quran )what means(:
"And We sent not the signs)volcanoes, hurricanes, earthquakes,
tsunamis, etc,( except to )warn people and( make them afraid )of
destruction(."]Quran 17:59[
2- To show Allaah's Omnipotence and Supremacy:
This is stated in the following Quranic verse)which means(:"Say )O
Muhammad(: "He )Allaah( has power to send torment on you from above
)heavy devastating rain, winds, thunderbolts, etc.( orfrom under your
feet )volcanoes, earthquakes, etc.(, or to cover you with confusion in
party strife,and make you to taste the violence of one another." See
how variously We explain the signs, so that they may
understand."]Quran 6:65[
And the verse )which means(:"So their Lord destroyed them because of
their sin, and made them equal in destruction )i.e. all grades of
people, rich and poor, strong andweak(! And He )Allaah( feared not the
consequences thereof."]Quran 91:14, 15[
Allaah's irresistible Omnipotence is embodied through the vain
attempts by the most advanced countries to curb or evade the
fataleffects of hurricanes, earthquakes and other natural hazards by
alarm systems. What is worth pondering is that while man-made
instruments proved almost helpless inpredicting earthquakes, the case
is completely different with Allaah-made creatures. Many studies have
stated that some animals show unusual behavior before an earthquake
takes place. Studying this behavior, based on manypractical examples,
the researchers came up withthe "Animal Behavior Theory" which assumes
that some animals predict earthquakes.
"The animal-behavior theory for "predicting" earthquakes assumes that
pets leave their homes, places normally secure and comforting, inorder
to escape a disturbance or danger in their surroundings just before an
earthquake. In practice the theory is based on the assumption that
more pets run away from home at such times than at any other time. The
hypothesis states that when quantities of missing pets increase
extraordinarily, there is amarked increase in the probability of a
forthcoming earthquake)Maryanski, 1985; Allstetter, 1986(.
There are reports that turtles, eels, snakes, and catfish display
premonitory anomalous behavior before earthquakes )Quammen, 1985(. The
problem of identifying the actual stimulus of this behavior remains
unsolved, although ultrasonic and electromagnetic phenomena are
suspected )Simon, 1976(. Homing pigeons and geese are now known to
navigate by earth's magnetic field using tiny crystals of magnetite
incorporated in sense organs in their heads)Cooke, 1984(.
Magnetotactic bacteria, tuna, and salmon also contain similar
magnetitecrystals )Kirschvink and others, 1985(. The animal-behavior
theory tested in this study is based on the postulate that dogs and
cats can detect precursory magnetic disturbances from seven to ten
days before earthquakes)Allstetter, 1986(."
Here is a quotation from a report exactly related to this latest Asian Tsunami:
"YALA NATIONAL PARK,Sri Lanka-- Wildlife officials inSri
Lankaexpressed surpriseWednesday that they found no evidence of
large-scale animal deaths from the weekend's massive tsunami -
indicating that animals may have sensed the wave coming and fled to
higher ground.
An Associated Press photographer who flew over Sri Lanka's Yala
National Park in an air force helicopter saw abundant wildlife,
including elephants, buffalo, deer, and not a single animal corpse.
…
'This is very interesting. I am finding bodies of humans, but I have
yet tosee a dead animal,' said Wijeyeratne, whose hotelin the park was
totally destroyed in Sunday's tidal surge. 'Maybe what we think is
true, that animals have a sixth sense,' Wijeyeratne said."
From the Islamic point of view, animals or human beings should not be
saidto "predict" future events, as the knowledgeof the Unseen is
exclusiveto Allaah Alone. Most likely, in such cases, animals sense
something using their extraordinaryAllaah-given senses of smelling,
hearing, tasting, seeing or feeling.
Subhaan Allaah )praised be Allaah( who made those animals behave
likewise to save themselves and to act as alarm systems for their
masters )human beings(!
3- To test the believers:
Allaah, the Exalted, may also inflict some hardships on His
worshippers to test their faith and patience, purifytheir souls and
forgive their sins. He, the Almighty, says in the Noble Quran )what
means(:
"… and certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger,
loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to
thepatient"]Quran 2:155[.
Last, the question mentioned above: 'Why do they )the natural
disasters( rarely take place in certain places such as Makkah
)inArabia(?' has to be answered, but by whom? It is answered by
Allaah, the Creator, not a geologist. The Quran, the Word of Allaah
Says )what means(:"And )remember( when Ibraaheem )Abraham( said, "My
Lord, make this city )Makkah( a place of security and provide its
people with fruits, such of them as believe in Allaah and the Last
Day." He )Allaah( answered: "As for him who disbelieves, I shall leave
him in contentment for a while, then I shall compel him to the torment
of the Fire, and worst indeed is that destination!"]Quran 2:126[
The history, both old and modern, give evidence that the bliss Allaah
showered on Makkah)security and welfare( hasspread out to encompass
the whole Arabian Peninsula )and almost most of the Islamic world(,
because of the relatively religious commitment and good Islamic spirit
of its inhabitants, which is, at the end, due to the mercy of Allaah.
This comparison can be realized through the scientific assumptions
that nearly one million quakes take place the world over every year.
To conclude, people, believers and non-believers, have to keep in mind
that all the above mentioned 'natural' disasters are acts of Allaah
Almighty, the Creator, not 'Mother Nature', to convey a message to
people. WhenMuslims discuss such matters, they have to approach them
Islamicly, i.e. in the light of the Holy Quran and the Sunnah
)Prophet's tradition(, and not only scientifically, economically, or
socially. Muslim scholars have to have a say, actually the say, on
these matters, so as to make people fully aware of their )disasters(
denotations and indications, and educate them to tackle matters
spiritually and not only physically.