The pleasant conversations of believers

The believers don't seek such goals of their lower selves as to put
themselves in the forefront or have the final say. Therefore they
have a reasonable, calm manner. Out of their understanding of
courtesy based on their commitment to the Quran's moral values,
they always allow others to be in the forefront, try to benefit from
what others say and refrain from acting in an ignorant fashion.
Their conversations are sincere and honest. Since believers consult
each other in everything they do, everyone's opinions count. The
believers stay away from proud and stubborn actions such as 'my ideas
are better'. A believer is always aware of the fact that someone
else might know better. For these reasons, these good conversations
help believers gain a stronger faith, think deeper, comprehend
things better and ponder more on the signs leading to faith.
Conversations are actually very good opportunities to get to know
the people, benefit from their ideas and thoughts. The emotions,
thoughts, desires as well as their mistakes reflect on their talks.
The tone is an important indicator to tell a deep believer apart
from a person with low moral qualities. Because a believer, out of
his firm fear of Allah, never makes the person he is talking to
uncomfortable. His speech is sincere, wise, inspires confidence,
courteous, reasonable, humble and positive. He carefully avoids void
and unnecessary conversations that could lead people to pessimism,
despair and conflicts.
What is "Wisdom"?
The word 'wisdom' has a wide meaning which can be summarized as
'putting things in the perfect way possible both in speech and
manners, concisely speaking, yet with immense meaning, and the deep
understanding capacity that Allah bestowed on His Prophets and holy
servants'. Islamic scholars defined wisdom in many ways, but the
majority agrees on the following:
"Wisdom is beneficial knowledge and sincere actions." (Elmalili M.
Hamdi Yazir, True Religion, Language of the Quran I, 915)
So, talking wisely should be understood as beneficial, concise, true,
essential talks done at the right time and at the right place.
The conversations of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) are the best examples
of conversations
A believer, even if he has knowledge of the subject discussed, thinks
of the possibility that other person might know that subject as
well, and therefore listens to his brothers and sisters with
interest and courtesy. This superior moral value of believers comes
from the fact that they follow Quran's verses, and look up to the
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) in everything they do. Imam Gazali,
describes the conversations of the Prophet Mohammad as follows,
based on the hadiths:
"...He would pay compliment to everyone present at his sight.
Therefore, everyone would get the idea that they were the most
merited there. The way he sat, listened, his words, beautiful
compliments were only for the people that sat at his presence. But
his gatherings were places of respect, humility and safety… He
would call his companions with their appellation to compliment them
and if any of them didn't have appellation, they would find
appellation for them and address them so…" ( Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, , Ihya Ulum-id-din ,, 2. cilt, Çeviri: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle,
Huzur Yayın Evi, 1998, s.798)
Aisha (ra) explains the words of the Prophet Muhammad (saas) on how
a Muslim should talk:
" When he talked, his words didn't come in a rapid succession like
yours do, he would talk little but in a concise way. But you keep on
adding new sentences." ( Al Fawaid, Hujjat- ul-Islam, Imam Ghazzali,
Ihya Ulum-id-din, vol.2, Translation: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle, Huzur
Publishing House, Istanbul 1998, s. 800)
"The Messenger of Allah, the Prophet Mohammad (saas) talked very
concisely (with short, concise words, which convey lots of meanings.
His short sentences would give the message he intended, he never
said less or more than exactly what is needed. His words followed
each other in a harmonic way, he would pause between sentences,
making sure that his listeners understood and memorized what he
said. He had a strong and pleasant voice. He talked when necessary
and always told the truth." (Abu Dawud, , Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, Ihya Ulum-id- din, 2. cilt, Çeviri: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle, Huzur
Yayınevi, İstanbul 1998, s. 800)
"When he paused, the people in his presence started talking. No one
would argue in his presence." (Tirmidhi; Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, , Ihya Ulum-id-din , vol.2, Translation: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle,
Huzur Publishing House, Istanbul 1998, s. 800)
"He was very genial, he always smiled at the Companions, liked what
they said, listened to them very carefully and considered himself to
be one of them as well." (a.g.e.)
"He gives wisdom to whoever He wills and he who has been given
wisdom has been given great good. But no one pays heed but people of
intelligence ..." (Surat al-Baqara, 269)
As the verse states, not only Prophets but ordinary people can be
wise as well. All believers- women and men- can ask our Lord to
grant them such a blessing.
The believers are aware of the huge blessing in wisdom, and ask
Allah to grant them 'wisdom, eloquence and articulateness. Allah
gives the Prophet Abraham's (pbuh) prayer as an example to believers
in the Quran:
" My Lord, give me right judgement and unite me with the righteous;
and make me highly esteemed among the later peoples; ." (Surat
ash-Shu'ara, 83-84)