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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Dought & clear, - She is asking how she can teach her mother and sister about the rulings on tahaarah (purification)



My question is about my little sister. When her menstruations start, should I be the one to tell her about ghusl and stuff (cause Im pretty sure that my mom doesn't know about that stuff ...)? And should I explain that stuff to my mom also? It would be really akward cause I'm the child and she is the mom..
How could I talk them about it?
Also I want to ask: If someones menstruations haven't started yet, but she's having vaginal discharge, should she do ghusl? Because she would have to do it many times a day because of it.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
There is no doubt that teaching children what they need to know about their religion comes under the heading of obligatory education and care that Islam has enjoined upon parents towards their children. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [at-Tahreem 66:6].
Mujaahid (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Fear Allah, and advise your families to fear Allah.
Qataadah said: He should instruct them to obey Allah and tell them not to disobey Allah, and he should discipline them in accordance with the teachings of Islam, and he should enjoin them to follow the teachings of Islam and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allah, then you should make them stop it and rebuke them for it.
Something similar was stated by ad-Dahhaak and Muqaatil: It is the Muslim’s duty to teach his household, both his family members and his servants, what Allah has enjoined upon them and what Allah has forbidden to them.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 8/167
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for her flock.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853) and Muslim (1829).
He (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) also said: “Your child has a right over you.” Narrated by Muslim (1159).
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: ash-Shaafa‘i and his companions (may Allah have mercy on them) said: Fathers and mothers are obliged to teach their children that which will be obligatory upon them when they reach puberty. So the parent or guardian should teach them how to purify themselves, how to pray and fast, and so on; they should teach them that fornication and adultery, homosexuality, stealing, consuming intoxicants, lying, backbiting and so on are all haraam; they should teach them that once they reach puberty, they will become accountable, and they should teach them how to recognize when they have reached that stage.
End quote fromal-Majmoo‘. 1/26; see alsoal-Majmoo‘, 3/11
Secondly:
If your mother does not know the rulings connected to reaching puberty, as often happens in places that are far away from knowledge and scholars, such as desert regions, Western countries, and so on, then the mission of teaching and calling people to Allah must be undertaken by whoever in the family has that knowledge, whether that is a boy or girl, the closest, then the next closest.
So long as you have some knowledge of the Islamic rulings that are needed, and you know that your sister is about to reach puberty, then you must teach her what she needs to know of these rulings, and you should choose the best and most appropriate way of doing so.
In fact, we think that your teaching her may be more beneficial and easier than the mother teaching her, because of your closeness in age and because you will understand one another easily.
Then you should also teach your mother what she needs to know of religious rulings that you think she does not know.
You can also seek help in doing that, along with direct teaching, by telling your mother about beneficial Islamic media channels, such as trustworthy educational websites and good Islamic satellite channels that follow the way of Ahl as-Sunnah, if there is something that will benefit your family in a language that they know.
There is no need for any shyness or the like in any of these matters. There are still people who do not know many rulings that they need to know, and the one who knows them is obliged to help them to learn them, whether they are young or old.
It was narrated from Zaynab, the daughter of Umm Salamah who said: Umm Sulaym came to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah, Allah is not too shy to tell the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl if she has an erotic dream?...
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (130) and Muslim (313).
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
She only said that as an apology before asking her question, for which there was a need, because it was something that women usually feel shy to ask about and mention in the presence of men.
This shows us that it is appropriate for the one who has a question to ask about it, and not to refrain from asking out of shyness. That is not really shyness, because all shyness is good and shyness does not lead to anything but good, but refraining from asking in this case is not good, rather it is bad, so how can it be shyness? … ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: How good were the women of the Ansaar; shyness did not prevent them from understanding matters of their religion. And Allah knows best.
End quote fromSharh Muslim.
Thirdly:
The vaginal secretions that come from women several times every day do not require ghusl; rather ghusl is only required in the case of janaabah (impurity following sexual activity) or when a woman becomes pure following her menses.
And Allah knows best.

Monday, May 5, 2014

For children, - Worth and Significance of Bismillah: Ring in the Stomach of the Fish





There was once a lady who always said Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful) before she did anything. She knew that Allah would then always be with her. One day, she put her ring in the cupboard and as usual she said Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful) before she put it away. She knew that it would be safe.
Her husband took the ring and threw it in the river. He wanted to prove to her that only saying Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful) would not keep it safe. He thought that in the evening he would ask her where the ring was and it would not be there.
Later that morning, the lady went to the market to buy some fish. When she was cleaning the fish at home she found her ring inside the stomach of the fish. She wondered how it got there but then put it back in its place in the cupboard saying Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful).
When her husband came back from work, he asked her where the ring was. She brought it from the cupboard. He was so surprised!
He told her what he had done and apologized to her. He also truly believed that Allah is with the person who says Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of Allah, the beneficent the merciful) before he/she does anything.

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family Articles, - Allah is not helping me



Four years ago a guy proposed me, but I refused him as I did not want a haram relationship. Many times he asked me for marriage, and I said I would talk to my parents about it. He said after he completed his studies he would ask my parents for marriage. We were in the same university, so we were in contact.
As time passed I fell in love with him. I started liking everything about him. He used to take care of me and protect me. After a year, he again asked me to marry him, and this time I said yes. I saw tears in his eyes. He told his family about me, and his sister start talking to me. She said she would come to my house to talk to my parents.
In these 4 years we both became very close to each other. But I made one big mistake, so during this time we both got physically attracted to each other. I knew it was sin, so I asked Allah for forgiveness every time. We both knew it was wrong. we tried to avoid sitting alone. Now 4 years have passed, and my parents want me to get married now. They are finding a boy for me.
He had a fight with his parents. Whenever he talked to them for marriage, they said no, and he was tensed. One day we had a fight, and he left me. He said our marriage is not looking possible to him, and he’s fed up with our fights.
I prayed to Allah that he comes back to me and gets married to me. For 3 months, all night I keep praying. I pray regularly 5 times. I read Qur’an daily. I’m a good Muslim, and the only sin I have done is getting physical with him. A thousand times I have asked Allah for forgiveness, but Allah never listens to me.
I don’t want to to get married to anyone else. I don’t want any other guy to touch me. I always imagined him as my husband, and always prayed to Allah that I get married to that guy. I had trust in Allah; I knew Allah would never do this to me. But Allah did this. Now I don’t feel like praying or reading Qur’an. I’m shattered and broken. I feel like Allah is not with me. I have wished for something, and this is the first time I asked Allah for something this desperately. I pray and cry all night in sajood, but Allah is not listening to me. I was so attached to Allah and used to love Allah so much, but now I feel disconnected with Allah and I don’t love Him. I don’t want to say this, but yes I don’t love Him anymore.

family Articles, - Male seeking advice regarding marriage without parents’ consent



Assalamualaikum…brothers and sisters,
I have been in love with a woman from another country (Turkey) for the past three years. We have met each other twice in these years.We understand that what we have done is a great sin, and should not be taken lightly so we ask for Allah’s forgiveness everyday. I have promised to marry her and have been introduced to her parents online.
I had told my parents about her and have told them about my decision to marry her, but my parents are not at all willing to accept my decision because nobody has ever married anyone from outside our community. They fear that by doing so, they will be insulted in their society.They also reason that since she and her family are from another region of the world (Europe), their family and moral values won’t be on par with ours.
I feel these reasons are not true to our Islamic values, since no group among us must feel superior to another particular group, and only Allah knows who is truly righteous. I really want to honor my promise and exercise my freedom to marry whoever I want to marry as a Muslim male, and by doing so I will be more at peace with myself and my deen. The only thing stopping me from doing so right now is the fear of how my community will treat my parents. I am really confused, and I seek sincere advice from all my brothers and sisters.
I pray that Allah gives all those who might advise me the right intellect, sensitivity and guidance required for this task.