How to Handle Burdens - Women site, -

We all have stress and burdens in our daily lives. Whether it is
school or work or just the trials of life, we carry much on our
shoulders. Some of us carry our own loads and some of us carry loads
that we share with others, such as health problems, personal family
issues, financial dilemmas, marital discord, employment troubles, and
the list could go on. These burdens that we bear can be heavy. In
fact, most of us may say that at one time or another, these burdens
are too hard to bear.
But, in Chapter two ]Quran 2[, Allaah Almighty promises us that we
will never have to carry a burden that is greater than what we can
bear. So why do we feel then that the burden is too heavy for us to
carry? Why do we feel as if we had the weight of the entire world on
our shoulders and as if we had more than our share of worries and
woes?
We feel this way not because of the weight of the burden, but rather
the way we carry it.
Bend at the knees
When we physically carry heavy loads in our arms, we are always told
to `bend at the knees' to avoid breaking our backs and injuring our
necks. There is great wisdom in ensuring that something is sincerely
done in our own best interest, and not just done as a task that we
want to get rid of. Likewise, a burden that is carried with little or
no care or concern for our own well-being does not make much sense. In
a short amount of time, one would `burn out' and be of much less use
to the same people that we were intending to help in the first place.
So, a burden carried on our shoulders should be carried with care as
well, otherwise it could similarly become a `pain in the neck'. In
other words, a burden on its own is not such a pain but a mere
responsibility; but a burden that is not carried well becomes a pain,
a hassle that one harbors reluctantly.
No matter how heavy our burden is, if we carry it with confidence and
self respect, we can handle the weight of it and carry it to fruition
or to the point that it needs to be carried.
Sometimes, this weight that we carry is for a short period and
sometimes it is for a long period; whatever the duration, our attitude
determines in large part the outcome. The way that we handle any
situation determines how that situation can end. Think about many of
the burdens that you may have in your life at this very moment. The
way you see them can have a huge impact on the way they affect your
life. If you think they are enormous, then you tend to visualize them
as such.
If you imagine that it is the end of the world, you would probably
feel as if the world was about to come crashing down on you.
Instead, if we can remember at times like this that there is no such
thing as a burden too great, we can take a deep breath and remind
ourselves that we can handle it. We have to remember that Allaah
Almighty Knows what we can handle. After all, He Almighty created us
and thus Knows better than anyone else what we can and cannot handle.
Pulling our own weight
In remembering this, it would be better for us to handle our
responsibilities not with complaints and grouchiness but with
self-restraint and grace. The burdens placed on our shoulders should
not weigh us down to the point of immobility. Instead, we can think of
them as challenges that we can learn to face and overcome. The reality
is that, no matter how bad the situation is, there is always someone
out there whose situation is harder than ours. Maybe we can't see that
person when we need to, but we need to know that this reality exists
and that our own burdens are meant for us. The burden of other people
could be much worse.
All of the burdens that we have are a test from Allaah Almighty—we
know that already. What we sometimes forget is how to handle those
burdens. Usually, we complain about everything that is 'going wrong'
in our lives. If we can change our perspective and balance those
burdens with a stronger back and with a more positive attitude, we
will see that the burden is not as heavy as the reward for being
grateful for those things that we have in our lives that are going
well.