Fathwa, - Convert's Hijab: The Question of Gradualism

Question:
I would like some light on the rule about Hijaab if there are any
exceptions in the case of a Catholic who has now converted, married
with a Muslim man, and is now as I stated following the Islamic
religion. The problem arises when she has heard from the local Sheikh
that she does not NEED to wear hijaab because, if she is not prepared,
then as he said, she is NOT obliged. As far as I know, rules are
rules, Islam is flexible to all at times when required to do so, but I
think that for the Sheikh to say that was not the best advice. She now
has constant conflict with her husband concerning this topic stating
that a �Sheikh� has said that she can. He wants her to wear her
garments as prescribed by his religion because its the right thing to
do and also has heard that its the husband�s duty to see that his wife
dresses accordingly. Is there any exceptions for converts regarding
Hijaab? Is this the husbands duty to see that she wears accordingly?
Was the Sheikh wrong to say what he did?
Answer:
As-Salamu `alaykum:
Hijab is hijab and the duty to cover stands as prescribed; but since
she is a new Muslim she has to take things step by step, just as fard
in Islam was revealed step by step. The Companions were taught Iman
first; then the fara�id.
The husband will be questioned about his household including this
matter. The Holy Prophet, upon him peace, warned against the dayyuth
or one who does not care who sees his wife and daughters in ways they
ought not to be seen by non-mahrams. So the husband is doing the right
thing in principle, as Allah Most High said, {Protect yourselves and
your spouses from the Fire}.
However, there is a good (ma`ruf) way of enjoining the good. Perhaps
this is where the husband is doing it the wrong way, as his wife may
or may not be ready to wear the hijab in the proper manner at this
point. This should not become a conflict where everything becomes a
problem. That is what Shaytan wants.
She has to be treated extra-leniently as she is still among the
mu�allafat al-qulub or those new to Islam. Perhaps the Shaykh
understood this more than the husband. Let her begin with a head-band
and work her way up from there insha Allah. Her socializing with pious
Muslimas will help greatly.
In recapitulation, the answer to the three questions are:
(1) Yes, there are exceptions for converts regarding hijaab, governed
by mental disposition toward Islam, cultural background, cultural,
social, and political context, knowledge, Iman, and other factors. The
Prophet, upon him peace, even permitted an early convert to leave out
certain daily prayers knowing that otherwise he would leave them all
out and knowing that in the future he would be doing them all insha
Allah. It took twenty-three years for many of the obligatory rulings
to become obligatory in early Islam, yet today we want to jump from
zero practice to perfection in 1 day.
(2) Yes, it is the husband�s duty and responsibility to see that hijab
is worn by those responsible to do so in his household, but he must
approach his duty with wisdom and right speech, not inflexibility.
Furthermore, he must be the first one to practice what he preaches AND
provide a good example even in what is not obligatory for him. As
Brother Musa Furber said:
�[T]he brothers should remember that all too often we get strict with
the sisters when we should share part of the burden of responsibility.
We are quite eager when it comes to enforcing the jilbab, khimar,
niqab, and gloves when we�re back home--especially when it comes to
the work place and at school. Yet you hardly see many of us walking
around with loose fitting shirts, pants, abayah, and
`imamah--especially in those same places. If we expect this from them,
shouldn�t we demand it from ourselves?�
(3) The Shaykh was not wrong to say what he did. He said the right
thing, applying the Qur�anic advices and following Prophetic
precedents. May Allah reward him, help every couple in this state, and
grant us Hikma.
Was-Salam