The problem of lust )a dad-son dialogue( – II

Son:What are the most dangerous of such temptations?
Dad:On top of such temptations is looking boldly at a woman as an
object of sexual desire. This serves as a stimulus that may lead to an
unlawful response. Also, it is the first step towardsmajor sins.
Allaah warns us against such a forbidden look; He Almighty Says )what
means(:"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their
private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allaah is Acquainted
with what they do."]Quran 24: 30[
Because of its dangerous consequences, the Prophetwarned his
companions against looking at forbidden things. Hesaid:"Refrain from
sitting on the sidewalks of the streets."The companionssubmitted: 'O
Messenger of Allaah, we have no other alternative, there isno other
place where we can sit and discuss things.' Hesaid:"If that is so,
then observe your responsibilities due to the street."The
companionsasked as to what was due to the street? Hesaid:"lower your
gaze, clear thestreet off obstacles, reply to greetings, and enjoin
virtuous deeds and forbid evil ones."
Son:I can gather from thisthat a Muslim should be on his guard and
keep away from places where he would look at forbidden things. Is that
right?
Dad:Yes, my son, in the previous saying, the Prophetordered them not
only to avoid lookingat forbidden things, but also to avoid sitting on
the sidewalks. The Prophetsaid so although the streets of Madeenah
then were different from the streetsnowadays. Nowadays, the streets
are full of unveiled women, who tend to display their charm. The women
then were veiled and showed signs of modesty; and so they would stick
themselves to the walls while walking without a legal escort as
bashful as they were.
Son:Why is looking at a woman so dangerous?
Dad:This is because it is oftentimes followed by serious consequences.
When someone looks at awoman, he pictures her as an object of sexual
desire. And the image develops in his mind. Satan, then, beautifies
this image and brings it back in his mind with all sorts of desirable
animation. When this is repeated, it develops intoan obsession; and
one may be haunted by such an image in his prayers.
When someone is obsessed by a certain idea, there is always the
possibility that such an idea might materialize into tangible action.
The whole thing starts with an intention perceived, then the intention
develops into determination, followed by vicious scheming, which
eventually results in committing adultery. Ifthis were not the
outcome, thinking wouldlead to masturbation which is forbidden.
Son:Dad, I have an important question about masturbation, but Iwill
put it off until later. For now, I have another important question
about looking at women.What would you say to those young men who watch
actresses in moviesor view pictures of women in magazines or on the
Internet; and theirexcuse is that there is no harm in just doing that
since they are not looking at the real woman body but rather an image
of her?
Dad:This is the same as looking at women in person; there is no
difference, since both actions will lead to the same result.
Son:What if the whole matter is confined to a mere thought, I mean no
action is taken. Would you say something like 'it's the thought that
counts'?
Dad:One of the Attributes of Allaah is "The Merciful"; and so He
Almighty does not punishHis slaves except for the sins that they
actually commit. The Prophetisreported to have said: "Allaah forgives
my followers for evil deeds their ownselves may suggest to them as
long as they do not act upon them." But, thinking about women in a
persistent way may lead to the unlawful act of adultery. I would
advise you and every young man to engage yourselves in things that
will benefit you in this world and in the Hereafter. Be careful when
such thoughts cross your mind; try to stop them right away and replace
them with better thoughts.
Son:Dad, how can I put a curb on my desires?
Dad:The best thing to do is to maintain a strong Faith in Allaah. This
is the most effective weapon against desires. I am telling you this
because the Prophetis reported to have said that there would come a
time when Faith would become dear and rare to found. Mu'aathused to
call one of his friends and say to him: "Let's sit and spend some time
increasing our Faith!"
Son:Dad! What are some of the things that one does to increase his faith?
Dad:Faith increases with submission to Allaah. Good deeds, like
reading the Noble Quran and reflecting on its meanings, remembering
Allaah, and contemplating His creation, also increase faith.
Then you have to fear Allaah in the most appropriate manner,
andobserve your duties to Him wherever you are. That is because a true
believer should know that Allaah encompasses everything and that
nothing is hidden from Him. Not even an atom escapes His knowledge.
Allaah Says of Himself in the Noble Quran )what means(:"And with Him
are thekeys of the unseen; none knows them except Him. And He knows
what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows
it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no
moist or dry ]thing[ but that it is ]written[ in a clear
record."]Quran 6: 59[
Allaah Almighty also Says)what means(: "Allaah knows what every female
carries and what the wombs lose]prematurely[ or exceed. And everything
with Him is by due measure. ]He is[ Knower of the unseen and the
witnessed, the Grand, the Exalted."]Quran 13: 8-10[
Allaah knows whoever commits unlawful acts in broad daylight and
whoever commits them behind closed doors. If a believer is well-aware
of this fact, he will fear Allaah. Do you remember that Hadeeth in
which the Prophetnamed the types of believers that will be under the
Shade of the Throne of Allaah on the Day of Judgement? One of them is
a man who was seduced by a beautiful woman, but he said: "I fear
Allaah."
To be concluded…