Islamic etiquette related to gatherings – I

We must pay attention to our gatherings and meetings, because they
have a major effect on us. If one were to take a quicklook at Muslim
gatherings today, he would find that it is nothing but a means of
people occupying themselves with life, each according to his interest
or field of work; this is aside from indulging in some prohibitions
and major sins, in some cases.
These get-togethers, which people have engrossed themselves in, have
hardened their hearts, against which Allaahhas warned us, when He
Almighty Says what means:"Thenwoe to those whose hearts are hardened
against the remembrance of Allaah. Those are in manifest error."]Quran
39: 22[ Indeed, this admonition necessitates that we determine the
reasons behind hard hearts.
Was this the way the Companionsconducted themselves in their
gatherings? Were these the topics and matters they engaged themselves
with? Surely not. We are not talking about declaring these assemblies
and the conversations that flow in them as prohibited, because people
may meet and talk to each other about different topics – this is fine
and permissible, because Islam did not forbid it. Rather, what we are
talking about is making this one's only concern and addressing nothing
else but life and worldly issues in them, tothe extent that not a
single verse or narration from the Prophetor even the recommended
supplication to conclude gatherings with, is heard being recited; in
effect, there is no mention of Allaah at all.
Undeniably, this is a dangerous and dispraised situation, given that
all said things are permissible. Yet, how will the case be if the
meetings involve prohibitions? How will it be if people are indulged
in major sins, such as backbiting and talebearing? Allaah Says what
means:"And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to
eat the flesh of his brother when dead?"]Quran 49: 12[ How will the
case be if the gatherings incorporate lies and mockery of others,
while the Prophetadvised:"Do not falsely accuse each other,"which is
done by lying and slandering, as the scholars commented.
Moreover, how will it be if the assemblies contain scorning the slaves
of Allaah and abusing one another, when Allaah Says what means:"O you
who have believed,let not a people ridicule]another[ people … And do
not insult one another and do not call each other by ]offensive[
nicknames. Wretched is the name]i.e. mention[ of disobedience after
]one's[ faith."]Quran 49: 11[ How will it be if the gatherings today
are full of sinning and insulting, although the Prophetsaid:"Two
persons insulting one another are like two devils who lie and fling
false accusations at eachother."
Indeed, how will the case be if the gatherings today are those
ofhypocrisy, flattery and formality, while the Prophetinformed us that
praising someone in his face is like beheading him, and, Allaah Says
what means:"…So do not claim yourselves to be pure…."]Quran 53: 32[
How will it be if some of the get-togethers today embrace ridicule of
Islam and those who are devoted to it and belittlement of the
Prophetscorning his way of dressing, character and manners?
Additionally, how will it be if these gatherings involve disparaging
Islamic rulings and laws? A person present in them may say: "You want
to take us back to dealing according to some law that declares: an eye
for an eye and a tooth for a tooth?" Verily, Allaah is glorified and
exalted above what they say.
Many of the Muslim assemblies today contain mockery of people,whether
concerning the way theytalk or a habit of theirs or the way they walk.
The Prophetsaid to'Aa'ishah:"I do not like that I should imitate
someone even if I am paid in return such-and-such )an amountof
money('',meaning that hewould never mention a person or mimic him as a
way of ridicule.The story behind this statement is that`Aa'ishahsaid
to the Prophet: "Such-and-such a thing of Safiyyahis sufficient for
you'', implying that she was a short woman. Thereupon, heremarked:"You
have indeed uttered a word which would pollute the )whole( sea if it
were mixed in it.''In view of this, how is the case with today's
expressions and statements which people exchange during their
gatherings?
Today, many of the Muslim assemblies involve prohibitions. For
example, one would find thattwo people converse privately in the
presence of a third, while the Messenger of Allaahcounseled:"When
three of you are together, two of you must not whisper )to each
other(, ignoring the third";then, herationalized that by adding:"…lest
the third should be grieved.''Despite this, secret conversations are a
disease that has permeated today's gatherings.
The way people sit in their gathering also includes prohibitions; for
instance, some men do not cover their'Awrah)i.e., parts of the body
which are illegal to be exposed to others Islamically, namely from the
navel down to the knees( or do not wear sufficient clothing under
their garment so that when one of them moves his thigh, it becomes
exposed. Yet, when reasoned with one of them)regarding this(, he would
reply: "Are we women that we need to cover up and have certain parts
as an 'Awrah?" This is in spite of the fact that the Prophetsaid to
one of the Companions:"OJurhud! Cover your thigh, for it is a part of
the 'Awrah."
Even in the way people eat and drink, one will come across prohibited
acts, such as eating and drinking using the left hand or neglecting to
mention the name of Allaah before starting. Furthermore, the way they
talk and argue also contradicts Islamic teachings, for they may raise
their voice, be harsh in theirtone of speech, interrupt each other and
youngsters may precede the elders in talking.
It is worthy to note that the meetings during which the nameof Allaah
is not mentioned or remembered, nor is the Prophetmentioned or
exalted; such meetings are subject to the warning in which the
Prophetsaid:"Whenever a group of people sit in a gathering in
whichthey do not remember Allaah, theExalted, nor supplicate for the
elevation of the rank of their Prophet, such a gathering will be a
cause of regret for them on the Day of Resurrection."In another
authentic narration, hewent on to say:"…even if they enter
Paradise",because they will perceive the reward they missed out on due
to not bringing up the name of Allaah and remembering Him, or exalting
the mention of the Prophetintheir gatherings in this life.
The Prophetalso said:"Those people who get up from a gathering in
which they have not remembered Allaah, will conclude it as if it has a
foul odor similar to that of a rotten carcassof a donkey and it will
be a cause of remorse for them )on the Day of Judgment(."Bring to mind
your gatherings to see whether or not the name of Allaah was brought
up and remembered andthe Prophetwas mentioned and exalted in them.