Islamic etiquette related to gatherings – II

Verily, every get-together must include mentioning and thinking of
Allaah; do you hear a verse from the Quran, a Prophetic Hadeeth, a
religious advice, discussion revolving around an Islamic ruling or an
Islamic reminder in today's gatherings except for those upon whom
Allaah has mercy?
We must pay attention to this dangerous, negative trend – Muslims,
these days, actually fool themselves by hanging some Quranic verses or
Prophetic sayings on the walls. Some of these frames of verses are
nicely written and well-decorated and contain a command from Allaah to
His slaves to be pious or reminding that Allaah is All-Knowing of all
that they do and of all things, but they contradict what it says.
Likewise, some might hang a frame which displays the recommended
supplication to conclude gatherings with, yet they never utter it.
To what a low condition have we fallen nowadays to put up a verseor a
Hadeeth, then oppose it in our actions and words? What, then, is the
benefit behind hanging it? This is the reason why some scholars have
prohibited the hanging of verses and Prophetic Hadeeth on the wall, as
it is a way of mocking what is quoted in these frames.
Due to all this, some wise Muslims avoid gatherings of people or
conversing with them, saying: "Why should we sit with people when this
is their situation?" These people are doing the proper thing provided
that they are not capable of changing what goes on during these
meetings, because one must shun the places of sin. Alternatively, our
gatherings should become places to think of Allaah and bring up His
Name, in order to attain the promised reward that the Prophetspoke
about when he said:"Whenever a group of people gather and remember
Allaah and mention Him, then they separate,it will be said to them:
'You have beenforgiven'".Healso said:"Whenever a group of people
congregate and think of Allaah and talk about Him, then they disperse,
it will be said to them: 'Allaah has forgiven your sins andreplaced
your bad deeds with good ones'."These narrations arenot limited to
study circles in the mosque; rather they are applicable in the case of
any meeting.
One is delighted and proud to seesome people, when they sit in a
gathering, they start asking a person of knowledge amongst them,
things like: "Talk to us about such-and-such a verse. What does it
mean?", "What is the story of so-and-so Prophet?", and: "What is the
ruling regarding this issue?" These are the people whom the Prophethas
described as keys for good )i.e., initiators(, who prevent evil. Many
of them might not have knowledge, but they arekeen to learn and
increase their knowledge; they are dedicated tomaking their gatherings
righteous, by mentioning during them that which pleases Allaah. We ask
Allaah to increase the number of such people.
Assemblies have diseases that need to be rectified, so we must know
the etiquettes of gatherings and the manner in which to rectify them,
in order toattain the sought type of gathering.
The Prophethas mentioned many etiquettes, such as the following:
· Hesaid:"It is not permissible for a man to separatebetween two men
when sitting, except after their permission."Thus, one may not enter
into a meeting and sit in the middle of two people who are next to
each other unless he seeks their consent, or else, he should sit in
any other spot he can find.
· It is the Sunnah that one sits in the furthest place he can reach
and find an open spot in, and he may not make someone leave his place
or seat, so as to sit there. The Prophetsaid:"It is not allowed for a
man to get anotherman up from his spot to sit in hisplace."
· Sometimes one might be invited to a private get-together, in which
the conversations may consist of secrets of the host; it isnot
permissible for him to reveal their secrets or those of their family,
because the Prophetsaid:"Secrets )or personal issues( discussed during
gatherings must be kept concealed."
· Heis reported to have said:"The best assemblies are those which are
spacious."Hence, it is recommended to make the assembly area sizeable
for the guests as a way of expressing generosity, if a person can
afford to do so.
· Making room for each other during gatherings is a desirable thing,
especially when the place becomes full. Allaah Says what means:"O you
who have believed,when you are told, "Space yourselves" in assemblies,
then make space; Allaah will make space for you )i.e., in His mercy,
inParadise, or in everything good(."]Quran 58: 11[ When one's heart
has place for his brother, then hisgatherings will automatically
become spacious and people will make room for one another; otherwise,
if one does not harborsuch feelings towards his brother, he will not
make room for him, and even if he does makeroom, one will not be doing
it willingly.
· Saying the designated supplication before leaving an assembly.
Hesaid:"Whoever sits in a gathering and indulges in useless talk, but
before gettingup, he supplicates: 'Subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bi
hamdika, ash-hadu allaa ilaaha illaa Anta, astaghfiruka wa atoobu
ilayka )O Allaah! You are free from every imperfection; praise be to
You. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except You; I ask
YourPardon and turn to You in repentance(,' he will be forgiven)for
the sins he may have intentionally or unintentionally committed( in
thatassembly."
What can people want more thanthis? Islam gives one the chance to make
amends and grants him the opportunity to be forgiven for the sins
which he may have committed, by uttering these fewwords. Truly, the
forgiveness of Allaah is great, as He Says what means:"…Allaah is the
possessor of great bounty."]Quran: 62:4[
· It is narrated that whenever the Prophetmet one of his
Companionshe would not leave the meeting until the other man would be
the one who got up and left; and, when hemet a man who greeted him by
taking his hand, hewould give him his hand and not take it away until
the man himself let goof it.
· The Prophetwas very polite and courteous. Whenever his guest would
get up to leave, hewould get up with him to seehim off and shake his
hand. When, in a gathering, if a man wanted to whisper into his ear,
hewould listen until he finished what he desired to say. Undoubtedly,
hewas exceptionally well-mannered.
This is how our Prophetwas, the example whom we must follow and emulate.