Living in Kindness - II

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- • Helping the wife to preserve herchastity
This is an established right of the wife that was mentioned in the
Sunnah (tradition) of the Prophet . It was narrated on the authority
of 'Abdullaah ibn 'Amr ibn Al-'Aas that the Prophet said to him: "O
'Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast all the day and
stand in prayer all night?" I said, 'Yes, O Messenger of Allaah!' The
Prophet said: "Do not do that! Observefasting and break your fast;
standup for voluntary night prayer and sleep. Your body has a right
over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right
over you. Thus, give each its right." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
The Prophet said that the wife has a right over her husband.
Fulfilling this right is considered an act of worship for which the
man is rewarded. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Tharr
Al-Ghifaari that theProphet said: "…and in the sexual act of each of
you there is charity." They (the Companions) said, 'O Messenger of
Allaah, when one of us fulfils his sexual desire will he have some
reward for that?' He said: "Do you not think that were he to fulfill
it unlawfully he would bear a sin? Likewise, if he fulfills it
lawfully, he will have a reward." [Muslim]
• Keeping one's wife's secrets
This is one of the mutual rights for both the husband and wife.
It was narrated on the authority of Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri that the
Prophet said: "The most wicked of people on the Day of Judgment is a
man who goes in to a woman (his wife) and she goes in to him, and then
he divulges her secret." [Muslim]
• Financial maintenance
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and
do not harm them in order to oppress them. And if they should be
pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth.} [Quran 65:6]
• {Upon the father is the mothers'provision and their clothing
according to what is acceptable.} [Quran 2: 233]
These two verses deal with the financial maintenance of the woman
during her 'Iddah (waiting period), so maintenance is worthier for the
wife who is not divorced.
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women by
[right of] what Allaah Has Given one over the other and what they
spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.} [Quran 4:34]
Commenting on this verse, Imam Ibn Katheer said, "{And whatthey spend
[for maintenance] from their wealth.} refers to the dowry and the
financial maintenance that Allaah The Almighty ordained in the Quran
and the Sunnah of His Prophet ."
It was narrated by Abu Daawood that the Prophet was asked about the
rights of one's wife, and said: "Give her food when you eat, clothe
her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, and do
not desert her except in the bed." [Abu Daawood]
Here one remembers the Hadeeththat was narrated by Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim on the authority of 'Aa'ishah . She said, "Hind, the wife of
Abu Sufyaan, said, 'O Messenger of Allaah! Abu Sufyaan is a miser. Am
I allowed to take some of his money secretly?' The Prophet said to
her: "You and your child may take what is commonly [considered]
reasonably sufficient. "
It was narrated by Muslim that the Prophet said during the Farewell
Hajj: "Their provision(i.e. the wives') and clothing according to what
is commonly acceptable are their rights over you (i.e. the husbands)."
• Being patient with the wife's mistakes and disregarding them
Perfection is not one of the characteristics of humans, but, infact,
it is human to err. Thus, men are advised that they shoulddisregard
the minor faults of t wife. The Prophet said: "A believing man should
not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics,
he will be pleased with another." [Muslim]
Hence, a wise husband should not reproach his wife for every fault,
but he should look for excuses to justify what she did and advise her
as much as possible.
• Teaching her matters of the religion
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And enjoin prayer upon your
family [and people] and be steadfast therein. We ask you notfor
provision; We provide for you,and the [best] outcome is for [those of]
righteousness.} [Quran 20:132]
Commenting on this verse, Ibn Katheer said, "Save them from the
punishment of Allaah The Almighty by enjoining prayer upon them and be
patient."
It was narrated by Muslim that whenever the Prophet would get up for
Witr prayer, he used to say: "Get up, O 'Aa'ishah!"
Ibn 'Abbaas interpreted the verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says
(what means): {…protect yourselves and your families from a Fire}
[Quran 66:6] as to mean, "Obey Allaah, avoid sins and order your
families to remember Allaah The Almighty sothat He saves you from the
Fire."
The Prophet used to teach hiswives religious matters and approved of
one of his Companions who offered the memorized verses of the Quran as
dowry for the woman he wanted to marry.
• Treating wives equally and justly if the husband has more than one wife
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Then marry those that please
you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you
will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand
possesses. That is more suitable that you may notincline [to
injustice].} [Quran 4:3]
'Abdullaah ibn 'Amr ibn Al-'Aas narrated that the Prophet said: "Just
people would be on pulpits of light to the right of The Most Merciful
- and both His Hands are right. Those are the ones who are just with
regard to their ruling, families, and whatever they are in charge of.
" [Al-Albaani: Al-Jaami' As-Sagheer]
It was narrated in At-Tabaqaat byIbn Sa'd that he said,
"During the illness of the Prophet he would be carried every dayand
night to stay with one of his wives. The Prophet would say: 'Where
will I be tomorrow?' One of his wives understood that he wanted to
know when was the day of 'Aa'ishah and she told his other wives about
that. Thus, the wives of the Prophet said, 'O Messenger of Allaah! We
permit you to stay at the house of 'Aa'ishah as it is hard foryou to
be carried every night." The Prophet asked them: "Do you all agree?"
His wives said, "Yes." He said: "Take me to 'Aa'ishah, then."
Remember the Hadeeth (narration) of the Prophet that says: "The
conditions that are most worthy of fulfillment are those by virtue of
which sexual relations are made lawful for you." [Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim]
The husband, as a role model, should respect his in-laws and honor
them, especially his parents-in-law; they should feel that he is a son
to them. He should also be dutiful to his family and parents. Allaah
The Almighty Says (what means): {Worship Allaah and associate nothing
with Him, and to parentsdo good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy,
the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your
side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess.} [Quran
4:36]
We must be careful not be one ofthose who are rough to their families
and gentle and agreeablewith strangers.