My son is nearly 11 years old. He has become very aggressive; he does
not respect me and shouts atme. Sometimes even he uses his hands
without any justifications, after his father gave him a computer as a
gift. His father deals by sihr, I do not know if he is sahir himself
or not, Allah alone knows. He wants to take my son from me (as we are
divorced).
How can I protect my son and myself? What can I do so that my son
returns to how he was before? How can I know the reality of his
father? In the case that I make sure he is a sahir and wants to harm
me and my son, am I permitted to not let him see our son if he wanted
to?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Islam enjoins parents to take care of their children and raise them
well. Children will grow up on what they hear, read and see in their
home, on the streets andin school, and whatever faults happen in their
upbringing are because of faults in one or all of these aspects.
What has happened with your son, of his badattitude towards you, may
because of what he has seen and heard at home of the problems between
you and your husband, which led to divorce, or it may be because of
the influence of what he has seen and read on the computer, or it may
be the result ofwitchcraft done against him by his father in order to
take him from you. Any of these things is possible, or it may be all
of these reasons combined that has lead to this bad behaviour of your
son towards you.
Whatever the case, you have to set things straight by looking for the
causes that have led to these problems, so that you can deal with the
matter by dealing with the cause. If it is because of your problems
with his father, then you must make him understand the reality of the
situation and what happened [?} between you, in a way that is
appropriate to his age and level of understanding. If the cause is
what he hears, watches and sees on the computer then you must keep an
eye on whatever he is looking at, and it is essential to teach him to
make good use of the computer. If he does not respond, then you can
forbid him to use it altogether. If the cause is his father doing
witchcraft on him,then you can start to remedy it by using
shar'iruqyahs from the Qur'aan and saheeh dhikrs of the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him). There is no reason why you
shouldn't take him to someone whose religious commitment you trust, to
treat him in the shar'i manner for such cases.
Secondly:
You can find out whether his father is really doing sihr (witchcraft)
by finding out how he treats othersor what he really says to those who
visit him and consult him.
Some of the scholars have mentioned the signs of the saahir
(practitioner of witchcraft) by means of which anyone can discern the
saahir from those who are good andrighteous. These signs are:
1. He asks the sick person for his mother's name, and some
personal possession of the one for whom treatment is sought, such as
his hair or clothing.
2. He mumbles words that have no meaning and that the listener
cannot understand. The muttering may be calls to the jinn or devils to
come and serve him.
3. Another sign is that the saahir does not attend Jumu'ah prayer
or the five daily prayers in the mosque.
4. He is dishevelled and smells bad, and he likes being in the
dark and on his own.
5. He gives the sick person an amulet ("hijab") containing some
mumbo-jumbo, squares or numbers.
To find out the truth, he should have all or some of the
characteristics. Thus you will know the truth about him. It should be
noted that you may be exaggerating in suspecting him of witchcraft.
You have to be fair in judging him, and fear Allaah before making
accusations and claims of which he is innocent.
But so long as you have separated from him, we do not think that you
should concern yourself too much with your ex-husband and whether he
is a saahir ornot; rather what you should do is focus on how to
protect yourself and your son, and how to fulfil your duty of raising
this boy.
Thirdly:
With regard to custody of the child, it is known that the purpose of
custody is to protect andtake care of the child. Hence a person's
right tocustody is waived if he isimmoral or corrupt, or if he
neglects him, or if he travels a great deal, which would harm the
child's interests.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him):
It should be noted that there is no text which gives precedence to
either parent in general terms, or chooses one of the parents in all
cases. The scholars are unanimously agreed that neither of them is
specified in all cases, rather when there is transgression of the
limits or neglect, precedence is not to be given to the one who will
be like that (i.e., the parent who will transgress the limits or be
neglectful) over the one who is just and good and will do what
isrequired.
Majmoo' al-Fataawa (34/132).
It should be noted that the period of custody extends until the child
reaches the age of discernment and independence, i.e., custody lasts
until the child is able to discern and is independent of his guardian,
in the sense that he can eat and drink by himself, and clean himself
after going to the toilet by himself, and so on.
As he has reached the age of 11, he should be given the choice of
living with his father or with you, so long as the choice is made by
him freely, without any pressure or compulsion, and so long as the
reason for his choice is not that he will never betold to pray or obey
Allaah, or to do anythingthat is in his religious or worldly
interests, because his choice in this case would be harmful to him.
Many children care only about choosing the one who will spoil them the
most or give them the toys and games that they want, so in that case
he should not be allowed tohave what he wants.
If it is proven that his father is engaging in witchcraft, then it is
not permissible for him to take his son, rather he should be withheld
fromhim until he repents sincerely to Allaah.
If it is not proven that the father is engaging inwitchcraft, then the
parents should cooperate in raising their son, and pay attention to
what is in his best interests, so thattheir conflict will not be a
cause of the children failing and being lost.
See also the answers to questions no. 8189 and 20705 and 21516 .
We ask Allaah to set all your affairs straight and to guide your son
to thatwhich our Lord loves and is pleased with, and to set his father
straight and protect his religious commitment.
And Allaah knows best.
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Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Who has more right to her son – her or her husband whom she suspects of witchcraft? What are the signs of thepractitioner of witchcraft?
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