Rumaysa bint Milhan - Biographies of the Companions (Sahabah)

Even before Islam was introduced to Yathrib, Rumaysa was known for her
excellent character, the power of her intellect and her independent
attitude of mind. She was known by various names including Rumaysa and
Ghumaysa, but these were possibly nicknames. One historian says that
her real namewas Sahlah but later she was popularly known as Umm
Sulaym.
Umm Sulaym was first married to Malik ibn an-Nadr and her sonby this
marriage was the famousAnas ibn Malik, one of the great companions of
the Prophet.
Umm Sulaym was one of the first women of Yathrib to acceptIslam. She
was influenced by therefined, dedicated and persuasive Musab ibn Umayr
who was sent out as the first missionary or ambassador of Islam by the
noble Prophet. This was after the first pledge of Aqabah. Twelve men
of Yathrib had gone to Aqabah on the outskirts of Makkah to pledge
loyalty to the Prophet. This was the first major break through forthe
mission of the Prophet for many years.
Umm Sulaym's decision to accept Islam was made without the knowledge
or consent of herhusband, Malik ibn an-Nadr. He was absent from
Yathrib at the time and when he returned he felt some change had come
overhis household and asked his wife: "Have you been rejuvenated?"
"No," she said,"but I (now) believe in this man (meaning the Prophet
Muhammad)."
Malik was not pleased especially when his wife went on to announce her
acceptance of Islam in public and instruct her son Anas in the
teachings and practice of the new faith. She taught him to say la
ilaha ilia Allah and Ash hadu anna Muhammada-r Rasulullah. The young
Anas repeated this simplebut profound declaration of faith clearly and
emphatically.
Umm Sulaym's husband was now furious. He shouted at her:"Don't corrupt
my son." "I am not corrupting him ," she repliedfirmly.
Her husband then left the house and it is reported that he was set
upon by an enemy of his and was killed. The news shocked but
apparently did not upset Umm Sulaym greatly. She remained devoted to
her son Anas and was concerned about his. proper upbringing. She is
even reported to have said that she would not marry again unless Anas
approved.
When it was known that Umm Sulaym had become a widow, one man, Zayd
ibn Sahl, known as Abu Talhah, resolved to become engaged to her
before anyone else did.
He was rather confident that Umm Sulaym would not pass him over for
another. He was after all a strong and virile person who was quite
rich and who possessed an imposing house that was much admired. He was
an accomplished horseman and a skilful archer and, moreover, he
belonged to the same clan as Umm Sulaym, the Banu Najjar.
Abu Talhah proceeded to Umm Sulaym's house. On the way he recalled
that she had been influenced by the preaching of Musab ibn Umayr and
had become a Muslim.
"So what?" he said to himself."Was not her husband who died a firm
adherent of the old religion and was he not opposedto Muhammad and his
mission?"
Abu Talhah reached Umm Sulaym's house. He asked and was given
permission to enter. Her son Anas was present. Abu Talhah explained
why he had come and asked for her hand in marriage.
"A man like you, Abu Talhah ," she said, "is not (easily) turned away.
But I shall never marry you while you are a kafir, an unbeliever."
Abu Talhah thought she was trying to put him off and that perhaps she
had already preferred someone wealthier and more influential. He said
to her:
"What is it that really prevents you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym? Is
it the yellow and the white metals (gold and silver)?"
"Gold and silver?" she asked somewhat taken aback and in a slightly
censuring tone. "Yes," hesaid. "I swear to you, Abu Talhah, and I
swear to God and His Messenger that if you accept Islam, I shall be
pleased to accept you as a husband, without any gold or silver. I
shallconsider your acceptance of Islam as my mahr."
Abu Talhah understood well the implications of her words. His mind
turned to the idol he had made from wood and on which he lavished
great attention in the same way that important men of his tribe
venerated and cared for their personal idols.
The opportunity was right for Umm Sulaym to stress the futility of
such idol worship and she went on: "Don't you know Abu Talhah, that
the god you worship besides Allah grew from the earth?" "That's true,"
he said.
"Don't you feel stupid while worshipping part of a tree whileyou use
the rest of it for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself? (Ifyou should
give up these foolish beliefs and practices) and become a Muslim, Abu
Talhah, I shall be pleased to accept you asa husband and I would not
wantfrom you any sadaqah apart from your acceptance of Islam."
"Who shall instruct me in Islam?" asked Abu Talhah. "I shall," Umm
Sulaym replied."How?"
"Utter the declaration of truth and testify that there is no god but
Allah and that Muhammad isthe Messenger of Allah. Then go to your
house, destroy your idol and throw it away."
Abu Talhah left and reflected deeply on what Umm Sulaym had said. He
came back to her beaming with happiness.
"I have taken your advice to heart. I declare that there is no god but
Allah and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."
Umm Sulaym and Abu Talhah were married. Anas, her son, was pleased and
the Muslims would say: "We have never yet heard of a mahr that was
more valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym for she made Islam
her mahr."
Umm Sulaym was pleased and delighted with her new husbandwho placed
his unique energies and talents in the service of Islam. He was one of
the seventythree men who swore allegianceto the Prophet at the second
Pledge of Aqabah. With him, according to one report, was hiswife Umm
Sulaym. Two other women, the celebrated Nusaybah bint Kab and Asma
bint Amr witnessed Aqabah and took the oath of allegiance to the
Prophet.
Abu Talhah was devoted to the Prophet and took enormous delight in
simply looking at him and listening to the sweetness of his speech. He
participated in all the major military campaigns.He lived a very
ascetic life and was known to fast for long periods at a time. It is
said that he had a fantastic orchard in Madinah with date palms and
grapes and running water. One day while he was performing Salat in the
shade of the trees, a beautiful bird with brightly colored plumage
flew in front ofhim. He became engrossed in the scene and forgot how
many rakats he had prayed. Two? Three? When he completed the Prayer he
went to the Prophet and described how he had been distracted. In the
end, he said:"Bear witness, Messenger of Allah, that I hand over this
orchard as a charity for the sake of Allah, the Exalted."
Abu Talhah and Umm Sulaym had an exemplary Muslim family life, devoted
to the Prophet and the service of Muslims and Islam.The Prophet used
to visit their home. Sometimes when the time of Prayer came, he would
pray on a mat provided by Umm Sulaym. Sometimes also he would have a
siesta in their house and, as he slept, she would wipe the
perspiration from his forehead. Once when the Prophet awoke from his
siesta, he asked: "Umm Sulaym, what are you doing?" "I am taking these
(drops of perspiration) as a barakah (blessing) which comes from you
," she replied.
At another time, the Prophet went to their house and Umm Sulaym
offered him dates and butterfat but he did not have any of it because
he was fasting.Occasionally, she would send herson Anas with bags of
dates to his house.
It was noticed that the Prophet, peace be on him, had a special
compassion for Umm Sulaym and her family and when asked about it, he
replied: "Her brotherwas killed beside me."
Umm Sulaym also had a well-known sister, Umm Haram, the wife of the
imposing Ubadahibn as-Samit. She died at sea during a naval expedition
and was buried in Cyprus. Umm Sulaym's husband, Abu Talhah, also died
while he was on a naval expedition during the timeof the third Caliph,
Uthman, and was buried at sea.
Umm Sulaym herself was noted for her great courage and bravery. During
the Battle of Uhud, she carried a dagger in the folds of her dress.
She gave water to and tended the wounded and she made attempts to
defend the Prophet when the tide of battle was turning against him. At
the Battle of Khandaq, the Prophet saw her carrying a dagger and he
asked her what she was doing with it. She said: "It is to fight those
who desert."
"May God grant you satisfaction in that," replied the Prophet. In the
face of adversity, Umm Sulaym displayed a unique calmness and
strength. One of her young sons (Umayr) fell sick and died while her
husband wasaway looking after his orchards. She bathed the child and
wrapped him in shrouds. She told others at her home that they should
not inform Abu Talhah because she herself wanted to tell him.
Umm Sulaym had another son whose name was Abdullah. A few days after
she gave birth, she sent Anas with the baby anda bag of dates to the
Prophet. The Prophet placed the baby on his lap. He crushed the dates
in his mouth and put some in the baby's mouth. The baby sucked the
dates with relish and the Prophet said: "The Ansar are only fond of
dates."
Abdullah eventually grew up andhad seven children all of whom
memorized the Quran.
Umm Sulaym was a model Muslim, a model wife and mother. Her belief in
God was strong and uncompromising. She was not prepared to endanger
her faith and the upbringing of her children for wealth and luxury,
however abundant and tempting.
She was devoted to the Prophet and dedicated her son Anas to his
service. She took the responsibility of educating her children and she
played an activepart in public life, sharing with the other Muslims
the hardships and the joys of building a community and living for the
pleasure of God.

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