Nasruddin Stories - The Second Banquet (retold by Nasruddin)

A banquet is a wonderful thing for those who attend, but for he or she
who is the guest of honor, it is a trial. All the attention is on you,
everyone hangs on your every word and move, and your mannersare under
close scrutiny.
O my beloveds, it befell upon me that I was invited to a second
banquet. This surprised me after the story of the first banquet was
told far and wide. Yet people are strange, and will admire that which
they do not understand.
So it was I was told a special carriage would be sent for me. I could
not abide being such a curiosity as the guest of honor is, but what
could I do? The carriage pulledup in front of my little home, and I
stepped out to meet my doom.
The coachman turned and looked at me."Where is Nasruddin?" he asked.
"I'm supposed to pick up the Great and Honorable Nasruddin, and bring
him to the banquet in gracious style."
"Oh, him," I replied. "He is almost ready." Then it struck me.
"However, mygood man, he has a quirk about which you may have heard."
"A quirk? What quirk? Heis a great man! He is much honored! He has no quirks!"
"Oh, we all have our quirks" I said. "His is benign. His humility is
sogreat that he does not wish to be seen while entering and exiting
the carriage. He wishes for you to avert your eyes atthese moments so
that he is not distressed by undue attention."
"Ah, is that all?" cried thecoachman. "I will oblige the great man, of
course.Just warn me before he makes his appearance."
"Here he comes now," I said, looking back over my shoulder. "Are your
eyes averted?"
"My eyes will not look upon the Great and Honorable Nasruddin if he
does not wish it!" he cried. He averted his eyes and covered his head
with his cloak. I walked to the carriage and opened the door."There
you are," I said. "Iwill sit up with the coachman." And with that I
slammed the carriage door, and climbed up with the coachman, who of
course had no idea who I was. He uncovered his head and we began the
trip to the banquet hall.
Along the way one of the wheels rolled into a considerable hole in the
road, and the carriage gave a mighty jolt. The coachman was much
concerned. He turned and addressed himself tothe door of the
carriage."Is the Great and Honorable Nasruddin in good order?" he
bellowed.
"I'll check," I said, and climbed down. I opened the door and looked
in."Everything okey dokey?" I asked. Then I slammed the door and
climbed back up. "All is well." I told the coachman.
"I was surprised at the familiar way in which you addressed the great
man," the coachman said. "It seemed a great liberty, most impolite."
"It would seem so to the uninformed, it is true," I replied. "But
Nasruddin and I are on very close terms." The coachman was satisfied
and we drove on our way.
We arrived at the banquet hall. There were many carriages and
palanquins, and guests dressed in gloriously colored garb. The
coachman began to bellow,"All avert your eyes..." but I put my hand on
his arm.
"Nasruddin's humility is so great, he would not want to draw notice in
this way. Let us wait for a lull in the crowd." When the crowd had
thinned a little, I instructed to coachman to avert his eyes.
"My eyes will not look upon the Great and Honorable Nasruddin if he
does not wish it!" he cried, and he averted hiseyes and covered his
head with his cloak. I opened the door of the carriage with great
ceremony, and said just loud enough for the coachman to hear, "We have
arrived, Nasruddin.You may disembark and make your way into the
banquet hall. The ushers will guide you. I myself will remain with the
carriage to keep the coachman company."
I waited for a few moments, then slammed the door and climbed back up
with the coachman. "Let us ride out to the river," I suggested. "It is
peacefulthere, and we can see the banquet hall, so we will know when
we are wanted again."
The coachman agreed it was a good plan, so we spent a quiet evening
bythe river, watching the sun set over the peacefulwater, and
listening to the night birds calling toeach other. We talked of this
and that, of the coachman's life, and hada very nice time. At last
things began to stir at the banquet hall. People poured out, and
carriages began to arrive. The coachman was concerned lest we be late.
"Nasruddin will want to wait until the others have left," I assured
him.Let us wait." So we did. When it was quiet at the banquet hall, we
rolled up to the door, and I dismounted. "Please avert your eyes," I
said to the coachman.
"My eyes will not look upon the Great and Honorable Nasruddin if he
does not wish it!" he cried, and he averted hiseyes and covered his
head with his cloak. I opened the carriage door with great ceremony.
"There you are, yes, it's alittle high, watch your step. Good man,
you're in. Settled? Comfy? Good." and I slammed the door. I climbed up
next to the coachman and we rolled back through the town to my little
home.
"The Great Nasruddin does you considerable honor to stay with you when
he could obviouslystay with the Caliph himself," said the coachman
when we had arrived.
"Ah, he is a strange man,that Nasruddin," I replied. "He does pretty
much what he wants. Now please, avert your eyes."
"My eyes will not look upon the Great and Honorable Nasruddin if he
does not wish it!" he cried, and he averted hiseyes and covered his
head with his cloak. For the final time I opened the carriage door
with great ceremony.
"Here we are, home at last," I said, and waited afew moments, then
slammed the carriage door. I opened my door and said,"Go right in,
I'll just say a word of thanksto the coachman," and slammed the door
of my house.
"I thank you for an enjoyable evening, my good friend," I said. "It
was a pleasure and an honor to spend the evening with such a courteous
and considerate soul. May the blessings of Allah be upon you and your
family."
"I thank you as well," replied the coachman. "I have seldom enjoyed
such a peaceful and contented evening. I only hope the Great Nasruddin
was satisfied with the service. I assureyou, I never even peeped at
him."
"I have it from his own mouth that he was fully satisfied. He commends
you in the highest terms,and wishes you good fortune always. He
particularly wanted me to tell you that he hopes that Allah will smile
on you all your days."
And we both returned toour homes well pleased with the evening, in
spite of the strange rumors that circulated for a while that the Great
and Honorable Nasruddin never showedhis face at his own banquet.