If his father asked him for money and he does not have any, does he have to take a loan?

My father asks us, me and my brothers, for help in sponsoring the
marriage of one of my brothers or changing the furniture in the house
or other things that are not important. Most of the time I give him my
share of what heasks for, but sometimes Iam not able to because I do
not have the means, then he gets angry with me for a while so I go and
ask for a loan from the bank and bring it to him, and so on. Please
note that he is financially of moderate means. Is it permissible for
me to disobey him and tell him that I do nothave the money, or should
I go to the bank and take out a loan for something that is not very
important?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The father has the right to take from his son's wealth whatever he
needs, if that will not harm the son. That is because of the report
narrated by Abu Dawood(3530) and Ahmad (6640) from the hadeeth of
'Abdullah ibn 'Amr, according to which a man said: O Messenger of
Allaah, I have wealth and children, and my father is in need of my
wealth. He said: "You and your wealth belong to your father."
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
What the hadeeth means– as al-Khattaabi (may Allah have mercy on him)
said – is that the father needed the money for his living expenses,
but the son's wealth was so little that his father's living expenses
would consume all that he had. But the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) did not excuse him and allow him not to spend on
his father's living expenses. See 'Awn al-Ma'bood.
It is stipulated that the father should be in needof this wealth
according to the majority of fuqaha', apart from the Hanbalis, because
of the report narrated by al-Haakim (2/284) and al-Bayhaqi (7/480)
from 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: The Messenger
of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Your
childrenare a gift from Allah to you – 'He bestows female (offspring)
upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring)upon whom He wills'
[ash-Shoora 42:49] – so they and their wealth belong to you, if you
need it."
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah, 2564
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The father may take
whatever he wants from his son's wealth and take possession of it,
whetherthe father needs what he takes or not, and whether the son is a
child or an adult, subjectto two conditions:
(i) that it is not unfair to the son, it does not harm
him and he should not take anything that the son needs;
(ii) that he does not take from the wealthof one son and
give it to another, because it is forbidden to single out one child
for giving fromhis own wealth, so it is more appropriate that it
should be forbidden to single out one child for giving what he has
taken from the wealth ofanother child.
Abu Haneefah, Maalik and ash-Shaafa'i said: Hedoes not have the right
to take from his son's wealth except as much as he needs, because
theProphet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Your
blood and your wealth are sacred to you, as sacred as this day of
yours, in this month of yours." (Agreed upon). And it was narrated
that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "It
is not permissible to take the wealth of a Muslim unless he gives it
willingly." Narrated by ad-Daaraqutni. And because the son has
complete authority over his own wealth, so it is not permissible to
take itfrom him.
End quote from al-Mughni, 5/395
If the father needs the wealth, he may take from his son's wealth and
spend it on his own living expenses and those of his dependents, so
long as that does not harm his son and he does not take anything that
his son needs, such as his car that he drives, and so on. See also the
answer to question no. 9594
Secondly:
If you do not have any money, you do not have to take out a loan, and
you can tell your father: Ido not have any money right now, or you can
tell him that you need the money that you do have. This is not
regarded as being disobedience towards him.
It is not permissible to take a loan from a riba-based bank under any
circumstances, because of the texts which indicate that the one who
consumes riba and the one who pays it are cursed. And it is not
permissible to obey yourfather if he tells you to take out this loan,
because there is no obedience to any created being if it involves
disobedience towards the Creator.
To sum up: if the father needs the money to spend on maintenance or to
buy furniture for the house and so on, it ispermissible for him to
take from his sons' wealth, on condition that this does not harm them,
and that he does not take things that theyneed. If they do not haveany
money to spare, then they do not have totake out a loan.
The brothers should cooperate to help the one who has not got married,
each according to what he is able to afford.
And Allah knows best.