No one else can defineyour reality:

"Someone's opinion ofyou does not have to become your reality."
- Les Brown, author and motivational speaker.
Don't blindly accept other people's negative judgments of you. Reject
their pessimism. Be strong, know yourself, and know that no one else
can define you. Other people's insults may hurt, but they don't define
you. Some people love to say "no", to tell youwhat you cannot do, to
tellyou why your dreams are impossible or impractical, to tell you
what a fool you are, to tell you not to bother trying. Such people
claim to be pragmatists and realists.
In reality, such people are poison. It is their opinions that are not
based in reality. It's their opinions that are founded in cowardice
and cynicism. Their opinions are inherently self-limiting. They have
locked themselves into prisons of the mind. They have taken the ships
of their dreams and smashed holes in the hulls before ever setting
sail. Because they have given up on their dreams, they want you to do
the same.
Either that, or they look at you and they see a bundle of
preconceptions. They seea stereotyped image created in their own
minds,someone who to them is the "wrong" race, or the "wrong"
religion, or has the "wrong" qualifications, and based on that they
willtry to tell you what's "wrong" with you, and to set roadblocks in
your path.
Don't let them define you. Don't let them tell you whoyou are, or what
you can orcannot do.
Mistakes and Appearances Do Not Define You
You are much more than just the sum of the mistakes you've made. Your
past mistakes are not brands of shame, but teachers, stimuli to change
and do better.
You also cannot be judged by the superficial circumstances of your
life: your nationality, race, age, the language you speak, your
favorite foods or colors, your birth date, your height or weight,
whether your lips are narrow or full, whether your hair is lustrous or
thin,whether you have six-pack abs or love handles. These things do
not define you.
For you pop culture fans out there, there's a scene inThe Matrix where
Neo is riding in a car, gazing out at the city, at all the places he
used to know. He says, "I used to eat there. Really good noodles. I
have these memories from my life. None of them happened. What does
that mean?" And Trinity replies, "That the matrix cannot tell you who
you are."
Free Your Soul
So what truly defines you? Two things: your beliefs, and your
character. What you believe, and how thosebeliefs manifest in the way
you act in the world, the way you respect yourself, the way you
maintain yourintegrity no matter what, the compassion and love that
you show to those lessfortunate, your courage, your talents, your
beautifuldreams. Your faith and modesty, sincerity, friendliness, work
ethic, hospitality, willingness to forgive.
These are the things that truly define a human being. No one can
dictate them to you, no one can give them or take them away. Only
Allah can guide you, and only you can choose what to do with that
guidance.
Abu Malik Al-Harith bin Asim Al-Ashari said that theMessenger of Allah
(peace be upon him) said:
"Purity is half of faith. Alhamdu-lillah [Praise be to Allah] fills
the scales, and Subhana-Allah [How far is Allah from every
imperfection] and Alhamdu-lillah [Praise be to Allah] fill that which
is between heaven and earth. Prayer is light; charity is a proof;
patience is illumination; and the Quran is an argument for or against
you. Everyone starts his day and is a vendor of hissoul, either
freeing it or bringing about its ruin."
You are the vendor of your own soul. You set your soulfree, so that
your spirit rises like the sun; or you ruin it, debasing yourself. You
shape your own character. You define yourself. No one else can tell
you who you are. No one else has the right.

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