Invalid Marriages, - * A Christian man married to a Muslim woman wants to help her to fast

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It may be a strange question to you as you probably would have much to criticize about my wife and me- starting with the fact that we are together in the first place -but still I dearly appreciate your practical advice and guidance for that most holy month.
My Muslim wife and I live in the West, I was born here and Im a Christian. We met in Dubai 4yrs ago and got married 1.5 yrs ago, and this is my wifes 1st yr away from home and her family during Ramadan. She enjoys life in the West and found a balance between her tradition and religion and the Western way of life. We're in love and very happy how we live. However,during Ramadan,she is really struggling with the culture because although people are understanding, the whole environment is just not well suited to Muslims in this period (e.g. everyone eating during lunch break).I try to support her as much as I can and would like to know what else I can do to help. Here's what I already do:
-no alcohol (ever)
-no pork (ever)
-fast with her during Ramadan
-I don't go out/appointments during the month to be at home with her
-no visitors during the month I know the environment is difficult for her in this time, and I suggested that in the next years she should go to Dubai and her family during Ramadan.Is this reasonable, or do you think she can manage to celebrate Ramadan as it should be, even while being here?Pls bear in mind she has no family here.
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Praise be to Allah
Yes, the matter is indeed strange as you said.
But what is strange is not merely the fact that a Christian man has married a Muslim woman, even though this marriage is definitively prohibited in Islam, according to scholarly consensus. That is not the only strange thing about this case, for the Shaytaan deceives many of the children of Adam, until he causes them to fall into something that is even more abhorrent than that.
What is even stranger is your concern to ask about such a thing, you and your wife, or – to be more precise – your concern to help your wife in such a matter, which is indicative of your great care for her and your desire that she be happy, when you do not care about the most serious aspect of the relationship between you.
What we mean is the basis of this invalid relationship between you, which is fundamentally wrong.
Therefore we will address you directly, as you are the one who has asked us and you are the one who is responsible for this grievous mistake, and tell you that it is not permissible for you or for this woman to continue in this relationship at all, not even for a single hour. Rather what you must do is separate, for she is not your wife and is not permissible for you, and you are not permissible for her so long as you remain a Christian.
Regardless of whether you spend Ramadan in the east or in the west, in Dubai, or in the city of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), or in Berlin, none of that will change the matter in the slightest, and will not fix the basic flaw in the relationship between you.
Rather you must separate.
Then once you have separated, it is not permissible for you to go back to her unless you truly seek Islam because it is the final religion of Allah, that He loves for His slaves and wants from them.
Therefore we call upon you – as you are keen to make your wife happy and make things easy for her – to leave her immediately, because her staying with you means that she will lose out a great deal in religious terms, which would result in misery for her in this world and the hereafter, if Allah does not shower her with His forgiveness and mercy. Then you must spend some time reading about Islam and learning more about it. The Islamic centres in your country can help you with that.
If Allah opens your heart to Islam and you become Muslim, then in that case there would be no impediment to you marrying her with a new marriage contract, in accordance with the teachings of Islam, whenever you both want to do that.
Then you can begin your married life with sincere repentance that will erase the errors that came before it, for Allah, may He be exalted, forgives those who repent and turn back to Him, no matter what sins they committed before that.
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to guide you to the truth.
And Allah knows best.

Invalid Marriages, - * What is tahleel marriage?

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What is tahleel marriage?
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
The husband is given the option of taking back his wife if he has divorced her (by talaaq) twice, and this is called revocable divorce. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The divorce is twice, after that, either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness”
[al-Baqarah 2:229].
If he divorces her a third time, then she becomes haraam for him and it is not permissible for him to marry her with a new marriage contract and mahr unless she marries someone other than him, in a valid and genuine marriage, then he (second husband) consummates the marriage with her, then divorces her or dies and leaves her a widow. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband. Then, if the other husband divorces her, it is no sin on both of them that they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. These are the limits of Allah, which He makes plain for the people who have knowledge”
[al-Baqarah 2:230].
It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that Rifaa‘ah al-Qurazi married a woman then he divorced her, issuing a third divorce. Then she married another man, then she came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and told him that he did not have intercourse with her, and the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) understood that she wanted to go back to Rifaa‘ah, so he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No, not until he (the second husband) tastes your sweetness and you taste his sweetness [a metaphor for consummation of the marriage].”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5011) and Muslim (1433).
Secondly:
It is not permissible for the man who issued the divorce, or for the woman, to use tricks to get around the laws of Allah and get back together by means of what is called a tahleel marriage. This kind of marriage takes several forms, including the following:
1. where the husband who had issued the divorce, or the woman, or her guardian, hire a human “billy-goat”, and stipulate that he must marry the divorced woman, consummate the marriage with her, then divorce her, and they give him a sum of money in return for that!
2. Where a man marries that divorced woman without making any agreement with anybody, but his aim is to make her permissible for the first husband, then he divorces her.
Tahleel marriages are haraam and invalid, and those who do that deserve to be cursed.
It was narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed the muhallil and the muhallal lahu. [The muhallil is the one who marries a woman and divorces her so that she can go back to her first husband, and the muhallal lahu is the first husband] Narrated and classed as saheeh by at-Tirmidhi (1120); also narrated by an-Nasaa’i (3416).
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It was classed as saheeh by Ibn Qattaan and Ibn Daqeeq al-‘Eid according to the conditions of al-Bukhaari.
End quote fromat-Talkhees al-Habeer(3/72)
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursing them [the muhallil and the muhallal lahu], this is either telling that Allah, may He be exalted, has cursed them, or it is a supplication for them to be cursed. This indicates that it is haraam and is a major sin. End quote fromZaad al-Ma‘aad fi Hadiy Khayr al-‘Ibaad(5/672)
It was narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Shall I not tell you of a borrowed billy-goat?” They said, Yes, O Messenger of Allah. He said, “He is al-muhallil. May Allah curse al-muhallil and al-muhallal lahu.”
Narrated by Ibn Maajah (1936); classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh Ibn Maajah.
These hadiths indicate that tahleel marriage is haraam, and that it is a major sin; they also indicate that it is not valid.
It says inal-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah(10/256, 257):
The majority of scholars – the Maalikis, Shaafa‘is, Hanbalis and Abu Yoosuf among the Hanafis – are of the view that this kind of marriage is invalid, because of the two hadiths quoted above, and because marriage for the purpose of tahleel comes under the same heading as temporary marriage, and stipulating that a marriage is to be temporary renders it invalid. So long as the marriage is invalid, no tahleel occurs thereby [i.e., it does not make it permissible for the woman to go back to her first husband after the second marriage ends]. This is supported by the view of ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: “By Allah, no muhallil or muhallal lahu will be brought to me but I will stone them.” End quote.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This is one of the most abhorrent kinds of falsehood, and one of the gravest kinds of corruption. He is in effect a zaani (fornicator or adulterer), because he did not marry her so that she could be a wife to him, and keep him chaste and stay with him, and so that he might hope to have children from her. No, rather he came as a borrowed billy-goat, to make her permissible for the one who came before him, by having intercourse with her once, then leaving her and finishing with her. This is the muhallil; his marriage is invalid and is not legitimate, and she does not become permissible for the first husband so long as (the second husband) married her with this intention and for this purpose. It is an invalid marriage and she is not permissible for him or for the first husband, because this is not a marriage, and Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):“until she has married another husband” [al-Baqarah 2:230]. This is a borrowed billy-goat, not a legitimate husband, and he does not make her permissible for the first husband .
End quote fromFataawa ash-Shaykh Ibn Baaz(20/277, 278)
With regard to the prohibition on tahleel marriage and its invalidity, it makes no difference whether the condition of tahleel is specifically mentioned in the marriage contract or if the agreement is made beforehand and not mentioned at the time of the marriage contract, or the second husband had that intention without anybody stipulating it or coming to some agreement to that effect with him. In all these cases it is a tahleel marriage and is haraam.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
There is no difference of opinion, according to the people of Madinah, the scholars of hadith and the fuqaha’, whether that is stipulated verbally or by implicit agreement and intention, because in their view the intention behind contracts carries weight, and actions are judged by intentions, and in their view a condition was agreed implicitly is like one that was spoken aloud, because words are not sought in and of themselves, but because of the meaning to which they point. So once the meaning and intention become clear, the actual words do not matter, because they are just the means (of expressing what is in the heart) and in this case that aim has been achieved, therefore the rulings are to be based on the aims.
End quote fromZaad al-Ma‘aad fi Hadiy Khayr al-‘Ibaad(5/110)
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas said:
If a man marries a woman on condition that it be for the purpose of tahleel, or he intends that, or they both agree to that, then the marriage contract is invalid and the marriage is not legitimate.
End quote fromFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah(18/439)
Al-Bayhaqi narrated inas-Sunan al-Kubra(7/208) from Naafi‘ that he said: A man came to ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and asked him about a man who divorced his wife three times, then a brother of his married her without any prior agreement with him, so as to make her permissible for his brother – does she become permissible for the first husband? He said: No, unless it is a genuine marriage. We used to regard this as fornication at the time of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If the second husband has the intention that when he has made her permissible for the first husband he will divorce her, then she does not become permissible for the first husband, and the marriage is invalid. The evidence for that is that this is the intention of tahleel, so it is included in the curse. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Actions are but by intentions, and each person will have but that which he intended.”
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti‘ ‘ala Zaad al-Mustaqni‘(12/176, 177).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) listed all the forms in one place, and regarded them all as forms of tahleel marriage which is prohibited and invalid.
He (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Tahleel marriage is haraam and invalid, and it does not make it permissible (for the woman to go back to her first husband). What it means is that if a man divorces his wife three times, then she becomes haraam for him until she has married another husband, as Allah, may He be exalted, states in His Book, and as is stated in the Sunnah of His Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and the ummah is unanimously agreed on that. If another man marries her with the intention of divorcing her so that she will become permissible for her first husband, this marriage is haraam and invalid, whether he decides after that to keep her or to leave her, and whether that is stipulated in the marriage contract, or was stipulated before the marriage contract, or was not stipulated verbally… Or none of that happened; rather the man decided to marry her, then divorce her so that she would become permissible for the one who had divorced her three times, without the woman or her guardian being aware of any of that, whether the husband who had divorced her three times was aware of it or not, such as if the muhallil thought that this was a good deed and a favour to the man who had divorced her and his wife, by helping her to go back to him because he thought that the divorce had caused harm to them and their children and their families, and so on.
In fact it is not permissible for the one who divorced his wife three times to marry her again until she has been married by a man who wanted a genuine marriage, not a sham marriage, and he consummated the marriage with her in the sense that she tasted his sweetness and he tasted her sweetness, then after that if they happened to be separated by death or divorce or annulment of the marriage, then it is permissible for the first one to marry her.… This is what is indicated by the Qur’an and Sunnah, and it is what was narrated from the companions of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and from all of those who followed them in truth, and the majority of the Muslim fuqaha’. … This is the view of Maalik ibn Anas and all his companions, and of al-Awzaa‘i, al-Layth ibn Sa‘d, and Sufyaan ath-Thawri; it is also the view of Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal among the scholars of hadith, including Ishaaq ibn Raahawayh, Abu ‘Ubayd al-Qaasim ibn Salaam, Sulaymaan ibn Dawood al-Haashimi, Abu Khaythamah Zuhayr ibn Harb, Abu Bakr ibn Abi Shaybah, Abu Ishaaq al-Jawzajaani and others. It is also the view of ash-Shaafa‘i.
End quote fromIqaamat ad-Daleel ‘ala Ibtaal at-Tahleel(p. 6-8). The author quoted many views from leading religious scholars stating that it is haraam.
And Allah knows best.

General Article, - * Khushoo‘ (proper focus and humility) in prayer

Is it true that if a prayer is lacking in complete khushoo' (focus of
mind and humility before Allah), He will not accept it from us, or
not?
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Praise be to Allah
What is required of the worshipper is to show humility [khushoo'] in
his prayer and to have complete focus of mind, because Allah, may He
be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Certainly will the believers have succeeded:
They who are during their prayer humbly submissive [khaashi'oon]"
[al-Mu'minoon 23:1-2].
Focusing on prayer and being humble therein are among the most
important issues, and this is the essence of the prayer. Therefore we
must pay attention to focusing with proper humility in the prayer and
performing it in a tranquil and unhurried manner, when prostrating and
bowing, between the two prostrations, and after bowing when standing
up again; it should be done in a tranquil and unhurried manner.
If the worshipper fails to focus his mind and show humility in such a
way that it is as if he is pecking his way through the prayer and is
too hasty, then his prayer becomes invalid.
But if he is at ease and performs his prayer in an unhurried manner,
but sometimes his mind wanders and sometimes he forgets, this does not
render his prayer invalid, but he will not have any reward for his
prayer except inasmuch as his mind was focused and he showed proper
humility and mindfulness of Allah; he will have the reward for that,
but as for the parts in which he was not focused, he will miss out on
the reward thereof. Therefore he should focus on his prayer and do it
in an unhurried manner, showing humility towards Allah, may He be
glorified and exalted, so that he will have the reward thereof in
full. But his prayer is not rendered invalid unless he prays in a
hasty manner, such as if he bows but does not take the time to do it
properly, so he does it in a hasty manner and the movement does not
reflect proper humility. What he should do is move with ease, so that
he adopts the right posture with every vertebra in place and so that
he will have enough time to saySubhaana Rabbiy al-'Azeem(Glory be to
my Lord the Almighty) when bowing and to sayRabbana wa laka'l-hamd(my
Lord and to You be praise) when standing up straight after bowing, and
to saySubhaana Rabbiy al-A'la(Glory be to my Lord Most High) when
prostrating, and to say Rabb ighfir (Lord forgive me) between the two
prostrations.
When the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) saw a man
who did not pray in a calm and unhurried manner – rather he pecked his
way through the prayer – he instructed that man to repeat his prayer,
and said: "Pray, for you have not prayed." Praying in a calm and
unhurried manner is one of the most important aspects of khushoo', and
this is something that is required in the prayer, when bowing and
prostrating, between the two prostrations, and when standing up
straight after bowing. This is called tama'neena, which means being
calm and at ease, proceeding in an unhurried manner. It is also called
khushoo', which means having proper focus and humility when praying.
It is essential to pray in this calm and unhurried manner, so that at
every stage of the prayer, the vertebrae may settle into place. So
when the worshipper bows, he should do so in an unhurried manner, so
that every part of his body may settle into place, and when he stands
up from bowing, he should do it in such a manner that every vertebra
will settle into place when he is standing after bowing; and when he
prostrates, he should do it in a calm and unhurried manner, and should
not be hasty, so that every bone may settle into place (as he
prostrates).
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Rulings on Marriage, - * Is premature ejaculation one of the defects that must be disclosed when wanting to marry?

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When getting married, does one have to inform the other of defects such as premature ejaculation? I have such and other problems that relate to premature ejaculation. Do I tell her privately? This is embarrassing and I do not know how I tell this to the one I want to marry. How would anyone want to marry such and how would the marriage last? I have a strong desire and fear I would commit sin, so what do I do?
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Praise be to Allah
These sexual problems and illnesses that some people may suffer from before marriage may be divided into two categories when it comes to the issue of whether or not it is obligatory to inform the other party of them:
There is one category of which the other party must be informed, which refers to those sicknesses that will have an impact on married life, and because of which there will be problems and shortcomings in fulfilling marital duties, and which have an impact on the basic objectives of marriage such as physical pleasure, producing offspring and the like, as well as problems which may require lengthy treatment or may be chronic and the doctors cannot find of cure for them, such as incurable diseases like AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhoea and sterility, and diseases that are usually found off-putting and repulsive.
And there is another category that does not have to be disclosed, which is matters that do not usually affect married life and do not cause people to miss out on the basic objectives of marriage, such as those kinds of diseases that may occur but usually disappear with treatment, and symptoms that usually happen to young people.
What appears to be the case is that premature ejaculation and similar issues fall under the second category, because it is something that usually affects young newlyweds because of the intensity of desire, but with the passage of time, as they become accustomed to having intercourse, and with medical advice and using appropriate medication, this symptom will disappear and this problem will cease, by Allah’s leave.
The other party may have no knowledge of this issue and its nature, so telling them may cause some confusion for which there is no need.
Whatever the case, we advise you to consult a specialist doctor who can clarify the nature of your problem from a medical point of view, and the extent to which it will affect your marriage, and your ability to fulfil what is required of you of marital duties. If the problems that you are suffering are likely to affect that, then you must inform the woman to whom you propose, in one way or another, even if it is via some trustworthy women among your mahrams and the like.
And Allah knows best.