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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Invalid Marriages, - * A Christian woman had a civil marriage, and she wants to havean Islamic marriage with another man without the first husband having divorced her








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I know an orthodox Christian girl who got married to a Muslim man in court. They got married about two and a half year ago and then she got separated from him about five months ago. She now contacted her church and the priest told her that her marriage was not valid in the eyes of the church as it was done in the court. They also told her that her marriage was a legal matter and she may pursue to get a legal divorce from her husband but otherwise she is free to marry again. She is looking for marriage again as in her opinion her faith is Christianity and she would do what her church has asked her to do. Now, my question is can I marry that girl? She is willing to marry me in mosque as it will be religious marriage and she would accept it and consider it as marriage. Secondly, she said that I should not question her marriage with the other man as it is her decision which she has taken after speaking to her church. Please guide me
-
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
It is permissible to marry a woman of the people of the Book on condition that she is chaste. Perhaps this is what you mean when you say that she is orthodox. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibat (all kinds of Halal (lawful) foods, which Allah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, etc., milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits, etc.). The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals, etc.) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girl-friends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allah and in all the other Articles of Faith (i.e. His (Allah’s), Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and AlQadar (Divine Preordainments)), then fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers”
[al-Maa’idah 5:5].
But marriage to a Muslim woman is preferable.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If the Jewish or Christian woman is known to be chaste and to avoid that which leads to shameful deeds, then (marriage to her) is permissible, because Allah has allowed that and has made it permissible for us to marry their women and eat their food.
But nowadays there is the fear of much evil for those who marry them, because they may call him to their religion, and that may lead to his children becoming Christian. So the danger is great, and it is more prudent for the believer not to marry a woman of the people of the Book, because there is no guarantee that she will not fall into shameful deeds, or attribute to him children who are not his… But if he needs to do that, then there is nothing wrong with it, so that he may protect his chastity and lower his gaze thereby. He should try hard to call her to Islam, and beware of her evil, lest she drag him or the children towards disbelief.
End quote fromFataawa Islamiyyah(3/172)
It is not permissible to do the marriage in the church, because of the great evil that is involved in that, namely approval of the ascription of partners to Allah, may He be exalted, in the words that they repeat when performing the marriage ceremony.
Secondly:
If this woman was previously married to a Muslim man, then it is not permissible for you to marry her, until her marriage with the first husband is ended by means of divorce, annulment or the like.
This first marriage is either valid, according to what we believe in our religion, or it is an invalid marriage.
If it was a valid marriage, then the matter is clear: it is not permissible for any man to marry a woman who is married to someone else, even if she is from the people of the Book and the husband is a Muslim.
Indeed, even if she is one of the people of the Book and her husband is also one of the people of the Book, it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry her when she is still married to the first husband.
In fact it is not permissible for a Muslim to turn a woman against her husband, whether she is a Muslim or one of the people of the Book, because the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who turns a woman against her husband or a slave against his master.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2175); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeem Abaadi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“who turns a woman against her husband” that is, he mentions the bad qualities of the husband in front of his wife, or he mentions the good qualities of some other man in front of her.
End quote from‘Awn al-Ma‘bood(6/159).
If we assume that the first marriage was an invalid marriage, then she still does not have the right to leave that marriage or enter into another marriage, until the first marriage is ended either by divorce from the husband or annulment of the marriage by a Muslim judge. Legal divorce is not sufficient in this case, and she does not become permissible for you or anyone else thereby.
When they entered into that invalid marriage, they believed it to be valid, so they do not have the right to leave that marriage or cancel it except by the same means as they would leave a valid marriage, especially since all this time has passed. Was this marriage permissible for her in the past, when she was with her husband, then when she decided to marry you, it became unlawful, or as if it was nothing?!
In fact her asking the priest, after all this time had passed, and telling you about that, is a kind of messing about and following whims and desires for the sake of her desire to end the first marriage and enter into a new marriage, simply because she wants to!
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If a woman enters into an invalid marriage, it is not permissible for her to marry anyone other than the one who married her, until he divorces her or the marriage is annulled. If he refuses to divorce her, the judge may annul her marriage. This was stated by Ahmad.
End quote fromal-Mughni(7/342).
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The marriage is invalid according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions, but she does not have the right to remarry until after he divorces her or her marriage to him is annulled by the Muslim judge, so as to avoid going against the view of those scholars who said that the marriage is valid.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz(20/411).
See questions no. 127179and 217698
The view of the priest is of no relevance, because perhaps he thought that the marriage would not be valid unless it was done in the church.
Moreover, here we are speaking about the validity of the marriage according to our religion and its teachings. This is what is obligatory for you, and in our view what the priest has to say is irrelevant and has no consequences at all.
The woman’s saying that you have no right to ask about her first marriage is not right. Rather it is not permissible for you to marry her until you know what happened regarding the first marriage and whether she is unmarried at present.
To sum up: this woman is either married in a valid marriage, in which case it is not permissible for you to turn her against her husband, let alone propose to her and marry her;
or she is married in an invalid marriage, so she needs a divorce from her husband in order to be able to marry someone else.
And Allah knows best.:
:
:
:





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Monday, September 11, 2017

Marriage Contract, - * She married in secret and got pregnant, then her parents forced her to marry the boy they chose for her

(A girl got engaged with a boy )
After engagement they starting talking on phone a few times
The girl started to dislike the boy
She told the boy I don't like you let's break the engagement , the boy
said I cannot tell my parents you tell your parents
The girl told her parents but they did not listen to her She asked her
aunts to help get rid of this boy
Then the girl found some one at university and felt that I should have
him as my life partner but no one was helping so the boy of the
university got married to his cousin
He couldn't get set with his wife and came back to the engaged girl
that I cannot live without you
She again asked the family , as she was not married just engaged , but
the family said we cannot do it because the boy whom the girl was
engage , was from near family Now she decided to go on her on and she
did nikkah in a local masjid with three witnesses , the witnesses were
their friends from college
and the girl says there was one cousin from her dads side on phone As
a witness and one person from her mothers cousin was in the masjid but
said I will not sign the nikkah because I will get in trouble and if
you say I was there I will deny it.
Ok they had the nikkah thing was done now the nikkah boy said we will
not physically meet till I take you to my home.
But after a few months they did physically meet and on the other side
the parents set a date and wedding preparation started
Again the girl went to her aunt and begged to stop this I have got
married and I am expecting too.
The aunt told the father and mother about the girl has done nikkah and
she is expecting too
The parents went to the daughter and were very angry and beat the girl
and asked her if its true
The girl said I did not do it , because the parents said we will
punish you very bad. Then the parents went to the boy whom she did
hidden nikkah to ask if it is true
The girl called him and said to deny it
So the wedding took place while she was expecting five weeks
When she got married to the engaged boy
She said I was not letting him touch me so he told the parents that
she is not letting me touch
Now they went to the parents of the girl to tell your daughter to let
him ,but anyway it came to my notice I started talking to the girl and
said I will help you by asking scholars inshaAllah
And will find the proper way
I am in touch since that day with the girl but things are going out of control
No one knows she is married and expecting
They are forcing her to start link with the second person which she
says she cannot do bec now its her fourth month Now the question is ,
is her first nikkah valid without guardian and the second one bec she
was expecting
She is very sorry
I told her to do tauba and from now on do the right thing InshaAllah.
The girl is living and hiding her pregnancy but it will appear soon.
Please reply soon as everyday she is living there with the second boy
is wrong if I am right
PLEASE GUIDE HER
From the engagement till today everything happened in two years.
-
Praise be to Allah
This problem has two aspects: fiqhi and social/psychological.
With regard to the fiqhi aspect, there are a number of issues:
1.
The ruling on getting married without a wali (guardian), and the
ruling on the child who is born as a result.
The marriage of a woman without a wali is an invalid marriage
according to the majority of scholars, apart from Abu Haneefah (may
Allah have mercy on him).
The evidence quoted by the majority to support this view is as follows:
The hadeeth of 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: The
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
"Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardians,
her marriage is invalid"– he said this three times – "but if he
consummates the marriage with her, then she is entitled to the mahr
(dowry) because of the intimacy he had with her. Then if they differ,
the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian."
Narrated by Abu Dawood (2083) and at-Tirmidhi (1102). Classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani inIrwa' al-Ghaleel, 6/243
The hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash'ari (may Allah be pleased with him),
according to which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said: "There is no marriage except with a guardian."
Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085) and at-Tirmidhi (1101). Classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani inIrwa' al-Ghaleel, 6/235
But the child who is born as a result of this invalid marriage is to
be attributed to his father because it is an ambiguous marriage.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The marriage contract done without the presence of a guardian is an
invalid marriage contract according to the correct opinion, which is
that of the majority of scholars. The woman does not have the right to
do the marriage contract on her own behalf. The Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: "There is no marriage except with a
guardian." And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "No
woman can give herself in marriage, and no woman can give another
woman in marriage." Both are saheeh hadeeths. But if they do that and
the woman becomes pregnant, then the child is to be attributed to his
father, because the contract is ambiguous.
Noor 'ala ad-Darbby Ibn Baaz, 20/197-198
2.
The ruling on marriage of a man to a woman who is pregnant as a result
of an improper marriage to someone else.
Two issues are involved here:
(i) If a woman has got married with an improper marriage contract,
it is not permissible for her to marry anyone else until the first
husband divorces her or the marriage contract is annulled.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If a woman gets
married in an improper marriage contract, it is not permissible for
her to get married to someone else until (the first one) divorces her
or her marriage is annulled.
Al-Mughni, 9/351
(ii) It is not permissible for a man to marry a woman who is pregnant
from another man until she gives birth, and if he does marry her, then
it is an invalid marriage.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah(18/246):
In the case of a pregnant woman who is divorced or recently widowed,
her 'iddah lasts until she gives birth, because Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):"And for those who are
pregnant (whether they are divorced or their husbands are dead), their
'Iddah (prescribed period) is until they deliver (their burdens)"
[at-Talaaq 65:4]. Any marriage contract done with such a woman is
invalid and does not count as a marriage. End quote.
From the above, it is clear that your friend has committed a number of
actions that are contrary to sharee'ah. She has to repent to Allah,
may He be exalted, and put right her mistakes by telling her family
about her previous marriage and the pregnancy that resulted from it,
and she should separate from her second husband until she gives birth.
Then after that, if she wants to stay with the first husband from whom
she became pregnant, then she has to convince her father, and then do
a (new) marriage contract, whether he had divorced her or not, because
the first marriage contract is in fact invalid. But if she wants to
stay with the second husband, then if the first husband had not
divorced her, he must issue a divorce or annul the marriage, then she
can do the marriage contract with the second husband.
(iii) The ruling on forcing a girl to marry someone she
does not want as her husband.
It is not permissible for the father to force his adult daughter to
marry someone she does not want as a husband.
That is because of the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased
with him) according to which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: "A previously married woman should not be given in
marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in
marriage until her permission has been sought." They said: O Messenger
of Allah, how does she give permission? He said: "If she remains
silent."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5136
It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that
a young woman came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) and told him that her father had given her in marriage
against her wishes. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) gave her the choice (between staying in the marriage or having it
annulled).
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2096. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh
Abi Dawood, 1/586
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the father forcing his adult virgin daughter into a
marriage, there are two well-known scholarly opinions, both of which
were narrated from Ahmad.
The first says that he may force his adult virgin daughter, as is the
view of Maalik and ash-Shaafa'i. This is also the view favoured by
al-Khuraqi, al-Qaadi and his companions.
The second view is that he may not force her, as is the view of Abu
Haneefah and others. This is also the view favoured by Abu Bakr 'Abd
al-'Azeez ibn Ja'far. This view is the correct one … Because it is
proven inas-Saheehthat the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "No virgin should be given in marriage until her
permission is sought, and no previously married woman (should be given
in marriage) until she is consulted." It was said to him: What if the
virgin feels too shy (to say anything)? He said: "Her permission is
her silence." According to another version narrated inas-Saheeh: "The
virgin's permission should be sought by her father." This is a
prohibition of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him):
she should not be given in marriage until her permission is sought.
This applies to the father and others. That is clearly stated in the
other saheeh report, and the father himself should seek her
permission.
Moreover, the father does not have the right to dispose of her wealth
without her permission if she is an adult of sound mind, and the issue
of intimacy is more serious than her wealth, so how can it be
permissible for him to give her in marriage against her wishes when
she is mature and of sound mind?
With regard to giving her in marriage even though she objects to the
marriage, this is contrary to Islamic teaching and common sense, and
Allah does not allow her guardian to force her to buy or sell or rent
(her own property) except with her permission, or to eat or drink or
wear anything she does not want, so how can he force her into being
intimate with and living with someone she does not want to be intimate
with or live with? Allah has ordained love and compassion between
husband and wife, so if the marriage came about despite the fact that
she did not want it at all, where is the love and compassion in that?
End quote fromMajmoo' al-Fataawa, 23/22-25
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is proven inas-Saheehthat [the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him)] said: "A virgin should not be given in marriage
until her permission has been sought." They said: O Messenger of
Allah, how can she give permission? He said: "If she remains silent."
InSaheeh Muslimit says: "The virgin should be asked permission
concerning her (marriage), and her permission is her silence."
This ruling dictates that an adult virgin should not be forced to
marry and she should not be given in marriage except with her consent.
This is the view of the majority of the early generations, and it is
the view of Abu Haneefah and Ahmad, according to one of the reports
from him. This is the view which we believe is correct, and we do not
believe in anything other than that. It is in accordance with the
ruling of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) and with his commands and prohibitions, the basic principles of
his sharee'ah and the best interests of his ummah.
End quote fromZaad al-Ma'aad, 5/88
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it
permissible for a father to force his daughter to marry someone she
does not want?
The answer was:
Neither the father nor anyone else has the right to force his female
relative who is under his guardianship to marry someone she does not
want. Rather it is essential to seek her permission, because the
Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "No
previously married woman is to be given in marriage until she is
consulted, and no virgin is to be given in marriage until her
permission is sought." They said: O Messenger of Allah, what is her
permission? He said: "If she remains silent." So what the father must
do is seek her permission if she has reached the age of nine or more.
By the same token, her guardians should not give her in marriage
except with her permission. This is what is required of all, and if
anyone has got married without permission, then the marriage is not
valid, because one of the conditions of marriage is the consent of
both spouses. If he has given her in marriage without her consent and
has forced her with stern threats or beatings, then the marriage is
not valid. If the husband knows that she does not want him he should
not go ahead with it, even if the father does not care about that.
What he must do is fear Allah, and not go ahead with marriage to a
woman who does not want him, even if her father claims that he did not
force her. What he must do is be cautious not to do that which Allah
has forbidden to him, because the Messenger (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) has instructed that her permission must be sought.
We also advise the woman to fear Allah and to agree if her father
wants to arrange her marriage, if the suitor is good in terms of his
religious commitment and character.
End quote fromMajmoo' Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi'ah, 20/414-415
So you have to sincerely advise this father and inform him of this
shar'i ruling, and tell him that what is required of the Muslim is to
follow the guidance of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him), and to discard any societal customs that are contrary to
that. He should look at what is in his daughter's best interests and
look for someone whose religious commitment and character are good,
and whom his daughter will accept as a husband. He is responsible for
her because she is part of his flock, and the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Each of you is a shepherd and each
of you is responsible. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible. A
man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible. A woman is
the shepherd of her husband's house and is responsible. The slave is
the shepherd of his master's wealth and is responsible. Each of you is
a shepherd and each of you is responsible."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5188, from the hadeeth of Ibn 'Umar (may
Allah be pleased with him).
To sum up the above:
Her second marriage is definitely invalid, and there is no way it can
be valid, and she should not let him be intimate with her; rather she
must inform him of the facts of the matter.
As for her first marriage, it is invalid according to the majority of
scholars, and they have to repeat the marriage contract in the correct
manner, if they want to remain married, or else annul the marriage and
separate, if they want to end it. (In that case), she has to observe
'iddah following the end of the marriage, then she may marry whomever
she wants after that. See the answer to question no. 142177
With regard to the social/psychological aspect:
(a)
you should advise your friend that the best way to solve family
problems is to fear Allah, may He be exalted, as Allah has stated and
confirmed in Soorat at-Talaaq, which is a soorah that deals with
family problems, repeatedly enjoining people to fear Allah and stating
that this is the way out and the key to provision. Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And
whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily,
Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for
all things"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].
Part of fearing Allah, may He be exalted, is striving to please one's
parents; not doing anything for which Islam does not give permission;
and repenting to Allah, may He be exalted.
(b)
Family problems, such as that which has happened to your friend – may
Allah guide her to that which is in her best interests in this world
and the Hereafter – may be solved by being honest and truthful,
because the effects of her action are not limited to her alone; rather
it also affects the people around her and affects issues of lineage
and rights. Maybe relatives or friends of the father's whom he
respects can intervene in order to tell him what has really happened
and bring about reconciliation between them.
(c)
Your friend should not build her hopes on imaginary love; no matter
how strong the love between the genders may be, in the end it is
merely an emotion, and emotions change quickly if they are based on
whims and desires or worldly matters. The love that is likely to
continue, on which a solid family may be built, is that which pays
attention to the laws of Allah, may He be exalted, and which a person
proceeds with after consulting others and praying to Allah for
guidance (istikhaarah).
And Allah knows best.
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Sunday, September 10, 2017

Marriage Contract, - * She does not have any wali (guardian) for the purpose of marriage; can the director of the Islamic centre or her maternal uncle give herin marriage?








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Im 19 years old girl from Finland. I'm muslim alhamdulillah and so is my mother but my father is a finnish non-muslim. I have one boy here in Finland who is very very willing to convert to islam soon and we would like to marry each other, of course only when he has sincerely converted. My problem is that as my father is non-muslim and so are all of his relatives and i don't have any brothers, i don't have any mahram here who could be my wali. I have three uncles but they all live in Turkey and have never visited us here in Finland. And only one of them is regular with his prayers. So I would like to ask that when I'm going to marry do I have to travel to Turkey and appoint the only uncle who is praying as my wali or is it allowed that I appoint an imam at the mosque/islamic centre here in Finland to be my wali. I appreciate if you can answer.
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
One of the conditions of marriage being valid is the presence of a wali; it is not permissible for a woman to give herself in marriage without a wali. If she does get married without a wali, then her marriage is invalid.
There is no guardianship of a disbeliever over a Muslim woman in any circumstances, according to scholarly consensus.
Please see the answer to question no. 48992.
Secondly:
Guardianship in the case of marriage belongs to the ‘usbah or male relatives on the father’s side; this includes the father, the (paternal) grandfather, the son, the brother and the paternal uncle.
With regard to relatives on the mother’s side, they are not ‘usbah, and they cannot be guardians in the case of marriage. The maternal uncle does not come under the heading of ‘usbah, so he cannot be a guardian in the case of marriage.
But there are some cases in which the maternal uncle may act as the guardian in the case of doing the marriage contract. These cases are:
1. When the wali has appointed him to do that on his behalf.
2. When the marriage contract has already been done, and it has been officially documented in a Muslim country that follows the scholarly view that it is permissible for a maternal uncle to give his sister’s daughter in marriage, or the view that it is permissible for a woman to get married without a wali (guardian).
Please see questions no. 152595, 153602
Thirdly:
If the woman does not have any wali who can give her in marriage, then that role may be filled by the Muslim qaadi (judge), if there is one. If there is no qaadi, as is the case for Muslim communities living in the West, then the director of the Islamic centre may give her in marriage.
If there is no director of an Islamic centre, then the imam of the mosque, or a scholar, or a Muslim man of good character may give her in marriage.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If the woman is in a country where there is no wali – no brother, no father, and no paternal cousin – then the ruler takes the place of the wali; her wali is the ruler, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The ruler is the wali of the one who does not have a wali.” So the ruler takes the place of her wali and becomes her wali; he may give her in marriage or appoint someone else to give her in marriage. If she is in a land where there is no (Muslim) ruler, qaadi or wali, as in the case of Muslim minorities in non-Muslim countries, then the director of the Islamic Centre may give her in marriage, if there is an Islamic centre, because his position is like that of the ruler for them. The director of the Islamic Centre may look at her case and give her in marriage to one who is compatible, if she does not have any guardians of her own and there is no qaadi. If the wali lives far away, he should be corresponded with ot spoken to until he appoints someone as his proxy (wakeel). But if it is not known where he is, then the next closest wali takes his place; the one who is most closely related to him takes his place. If she has no wali except this absent one whose whereabouts is unknown, then the ruler takes his place.
http://audio.i slamweb.net /audio /index.php?pa ge=FullConten t& audioid=2904 08
In conclusion:
The director of the Islamic centre in that country may take the place of the ruler, and the guardianship of the ruler in the case of marriage is an Islamically-acceptable kind of guardianship, if there is no wali who is a male relative on the father’s side (‘usbah). You do not need to travel to your maternal uncle in order for him to give you in marriage himself.
If this man becomes Muslim because he genuinely wants to follow the religion, and his Islam is real, then there is nothing wrong with the marriage contract being done by the director of the Islamic centre in the place where you live.
And Allah knows best.
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Saturday, September 9, 2017

Marriage Contract, - * A Christian woman married a Muslim man without a wali (guardian) and she is asking about the ruling on her marriage








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I am a Christian woman, recently married to a Muslim man. We were married in a cafe shop, as opposed to a Mosque. We had 2 witnesses which his friend bring with him. There was nobody from my side as a witness of marriage. We didnt sign any documents, contract. I never recieved any marriage cerificate. Also I agree for a 100 euro which never recieved. My husband has wife and 3 kids. He is living with them but he promised me before marriage that he will move to my house. He is not spending money on me, but he is intimate with me. Does the Muslim belief still see this as a "real" marriage? Please confirm as I am very concern to continue this relationship if marriage is not valid.
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Praise be to Allah.
The marriage contract in Islam cannot be valid unless it is done by the wali (guardian) of the woman. This is usually her father or someone who acts in his stead if he is not there, such as a grandfather, brother or paternal uncle.
The marriage contract that you mentioned was devoid of this, hence it is not valid, and what must be done is to repeat the contract in the presence of the guardian if you want to marry this man.
If the guardian cannot be present, then he can appoint any Muslim man to take his place and do the marriage contract on his behalf.
See the answers to questions no. 159297, 173946and 143511
It is not stipulated in Islam that the marriage contract must be done in the mosque; rather it may be done in any place, and there do not have to be any witnesses on the woman’s side, as it is sufficient to have two Muslims of good character as witnesses. But the marriage must be announced publicly, and it is not valid to have an agreement to keep it secret.
It is also not stipulated that the contract should be written down, although this is required nowadays in order to protect the rights of both spouses and to prove the marriage. But not writing it down does not affect the validity of the marriage.
The husband is obliged to give the wife the mahr (dowry) that has been agreed upon, and to spend on her maintenance enough to provide her with a place to live, clothing, and food, on a reasonable basis. If the husband does not do these things, he is falling short and is sinning according to sharee‘ah, but that does not affect the validity of the marriage contract, if it has been done in the proper manner in the first place.
We appreciate your eagerness to ensure that your relationship with this man is proper and legitimate. This is a sign of dignity and of a desire for stability, far away from the kind of relationships that Allah has forbidden.
We hope that this will lead you to find out more about the true religion which will lead to your salvation in the Hereafter, namely Islam, the religion of pure monotheism, that is based on worship of Allah alone with no partner or associate.
Worshipping Allah alone is the purpose for which Allah created all of mankind. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone).
I seek not any provision from them (i.e. provision for themselves or for My creatures) nor do I ask that they should feed Me (i.e. feed themselves or My creatures).
Verily, Allah is the All-Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong.”
[adh-Dhaariyaat 51:56-58].
And Allah knows best.
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