Women Site, * Hijaabis without Hijaab

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The woman’sHijaabis no trivial matter to be left for fashion designers to misuse or divert from its essence and transform into a dress just like any other that is far from theSharee‘ahapprovedHijaab. TheHijaabis religion and identity, and through it the woman worships her Lord, draws near to Him and is known and distinguished. DoesHijaabnowadays reflect these goals and their relevant behavioral and moral adherence to theSharee‘ah? If not, what are the causes of this contradiction and how can we eliminate them? Some people consider veiled women who do not adhere to other Islamic teachings as evidence against Islam and judge Islam through them.
Shaykh Jamaal Qutb, a deputy of the Al-Azhar Fatwa Committee, answers these questions in the following dialogue about‘Hijaaband Adherence to Islamic Teachings’:
First of all, what are the rules and obligations thatHijaabenjoins upon the manners and behavior of the Muslim woman?
Hijaabis an obligation on every Muslim woman and at the same time it represents two types of requirements. First, in principle, it represents moral adherence to all the religious obligations whether pertaining to creed, legislation or ethics. Second, it represents a visible custom that the woman appears behind. Accordingly, her doctrinal, legislative and ethical belonging will be known. Consequently, wearing theHijaabdoes not absolve the woman of her adherence to Islamic teachings and performing obligations. Also the woman's adherence to other Islamic teachings does not absolve her from wearingHijaab.
What, then, is your interpretation of the contradictions and violations that are seen of some veiled women, such as intermixing between the two sexes, showing their beauty before non-Mahram ]marriageable[ men and befriending men, which are taken as evidence against Islam?
If the woman wearsHijaab, her clothes should reflect her behavior and morals considering that this is a part of her identity as a Muslim woman. If she wears theHijaabwithout abiding by the morals and legislation of Islam, then herHijaabis futile. Also, for the woman who generally abides by theSharee’ahand manners of Islam without wearing theHijaab, her abiding by theseSharee’ahrules is of no value. This is because the relationship between theHijaaband applying the obligations of Islam are likeWudhoo')ablution( and prayer; performingWudhoo'does not absolve the person from prayer and no prayer is valid without performingWudhoo'.
Wearing theHijaabis part of the woman’s clothes before others which represent her, her chastity and her abidance by Islamic teachings. If a woman who wears theHijaabmakes a mistake, then, she is like any human who makes mistakes. Therefore, people should ascribe the mistake to the person who makes it, not to the whole society or to Islam as a religion and comprehensive methodology. There are many government ministers who steal or err, are all ministers accused for this act? There are many kings who were corrupt, but were their slips considered the fault of all kings? Therefore, why do the followers of destructive thoughts pressure the Muslim woman by giving them two choices: either not to make a mistake, which is natural for all human beings, or to not wear theHijaab, which is the essence of the religion!
Some females believe thatHijaabmeans they should frown, be stern and isolate themselves. How can you counter these claims?
Hijaabshould not be considered isolation from society; rather, it is self-respect and respecting others, because by covering her body, the Muslim woman considers the feelings of others and does not wish to arouse them without a lawful cause under theSharee‘ah.Hijaabdoes not mean isolation from society, abandoning life’s activities, having a depressed face and speaking in a harsh manner; rather, it is a virtue that declares the chastity of the woman and not her negativism. It reflects her abidance by religion in terms of her behavior and dealings without unlawful exposure of her beauty or immorality.
What is your comment on girls who wear theHijaaband then take it off, justifying it by saying that the important matter is the essence, not the appearance or the clothes?
The answer to this question is related to the answer to the first one. Whenever the Muslim woman adheres toHijaab, or the Islamic dress code, on the basis of creed and conviction, then it is not possible or expected to have her creed shaken or to have second thoughts about whetherHijaabis an obligation like prayer, fasting and other acts of worship.
What should come first, upbringing orHijaab? How can a mother develop in her daughter love for theHijaaband prepare her to adhere to it so that it becomes an act of worship and not merely a custom?
I believe that there is no comparison between the priority of upbringing andHijaab, and that theHijaabis a part of the whole which is upbringing. Raising the girl to wear theHijaabstarts when the child reaches the age of discretion through instruction, imitation, lifestyle, following up and instructing before the order takes the form of a serious command. When the girl reaches the age of puberty or is about to turn fifteen, her adherence to wearing theHijaabcomes in its natural manner and development on the basis of the previous steps of upbringing. In such a case, the girl appreciates her value and the necessity of her distinction and protects herself by wearing theHijaab.Then, a suitable, well-mannered and religious candidate proposes marriage to her.
Fashion houses compete in showing dresses ofHijaabin accordance with the latest fashion trends in a way that might not meet the requirements of theSharee‘ah. How can the girl balance between being fashionable and her adherence to theSharee‘ahapprovedHijaab?
There is no contradiction between being fashionable and adhering to the approved dress code under theSharee‘ah. The first is considered an addition to the woman's financial ability and taste. It is permissible for her to do so as long as she does not use it in unlawful ways and it does not change the descriptions of theSharee‘ah-approved dress code for women which should meet two conditions: it should not be see-through which shows anything that is under it, and it should not outline the shape of her body. Above all, it must cover all that which must be covered of the woman's body.
Finally, I remind every female who believes in Allaah The Almighty and is keen to satisfy Him, of the verse in which He Almighty Says what means: "O you who have believed, upon you is ]responsibility for[ yourselves.Those who have gone astray will not harm you when you have been guided."]Quran 5:105[





















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Women Site, * Nurturing ourselves

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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M. MD, IRI (Managing Director, Islamic Research Institution)

In our fast-paced lives, it is difficult to place a priority on nurturing ourselves. Women are particularly prone to ignoring their own needs and neglecting themselves as they give much of their time and energy to others.
Women are natural caretakers who instinctively focus on the well-being of other people. We tend to think that nurturing ourselves will not complete a project, care for a loved one, make money, or get dinner on the table. With work, home, and other responsibilities, nurturing ourselves often moves to the bottom of the to-do list, if it makes it to the list at all.
The meaning of nurture
Nurture means to take care of self, to give time to self, to nourish, to cherish and cultivate. Just as we nourish and feed our physical body, we also need to nourish others aspects of ourselves. Just as we cherish others, we need to cherish ourselves. The opposite would be to disregard, ignore, or neglect the self. Nurturance and nourishment of self is important for various reasons.
Why is it important to nurture ourselves?
The following story was once told:
“Suppose you were to come upon someone in the woods working feverishly to saw down a tree. ‘What are you doing?’ you ask. ‘Can’t you see?’ comes the impatient reply. ‘I’m sawing down this tree.’ ‘You look exhausted!’ you exclaim. ‘How long have you been at it?’ ‘Over 5 hours,’ he returns, ‘and I’m beat! This is hard work.’ ‘Well, why don’t you take a break for a few minutes and sharpen the saw?’ you inquire. ‘I’m sure it would go a lot faster.’ ‘I don’t have time to sharpen the saw the man says emphatically. ‘I’m too busy sawing!”
We are too busy working and taking care of others to nurture ourselves. Over time, this leads to depletion of our energy, patience, creativity and relationship skills. Over time, our saws become dull because we are too busy sawing away to take a break. We find that we have little to give to others because we have not taken the time to take care of ourselves.
The solution is to learn how to nurture ourselves so that we can refill the depleted energy, compassion, and kindness. Nurturing ourselves increases our chances of success in all of our relationships. It makes us happier, more fulfilled, and more effective in our lives.
Areas of nurturance
As humans, we need to nurture ourselves in the following areas: 1( physical, 2( psychological/emotional, 3( social, and 4( spiritual. This means that we need to find ways to fulfill ourselves in each of these aspects. Of course, these elements are interrelated and impact upon each other. Islam is a religion of balance, wholeness, and moderation. If we balance our lies in such a way as to take care of each of our needs, we will experience wholeness and serenity. We must also do this in a way that is moderate and conscientious.
Case analysis
To get an idea of what all of this means, read through the following cases and try to determine which area of nurturance is most needed in each case. In other words, in which aspect is there imbalance or lack of fulfillment? Focus on the weakest aspect in each case since more than one may be represented.
Case 1: Maysoon
Maysoon is a young mother of a 4- month old infant. She and her husband recently moved to the United Arab Emirates from America. The baby was born in the UAE. Maysoon’s husband works from 8:00 am until 6:00 pm each day and Maysoon is alone in the house during that time with the baby. She has no social contact and misses her family back home. She comes from a large family of 6 siblings. Lately, she has been feeling more and more depressed due to her situation. She cries often and feels that she has no desire to take care of the baby. She is not able to sleep at night and has no appetite. She wishes that they had never come to this country.
Case 2: Maryam
Maryam is the mother of three small children––Zakariyyah, age 4; Salma, age 2_; and Sumayyah, age 9 months. Since the birth of her first baby, Maryam has been concerned about her weight and figure. She gained 20 kilos with Zakariyyah, and although she lost some of it over time, others remained. With each pregnancy her weight only seemed to increase. She feels tired and sluggish much of the time and does not feel that she is able to fully give what she needs to her children. Her husband has also commented on her weight and tells her that she needs to get slim again like she was when she first married.
Case 3: Zainab
Zainab is a 35 year-old woman with 4 children and a full-time job as a teacher. Her work and home responsibilities take much of her time, but she somehow manages. Lately, Zainab has felt a spiritual distancing from Allaah. She does not feel that she has the time to strengthen her relationship with Him. Her salah is often completed hurriedly and she struggles to find sometime to read the Qur’an each day. Her desire is to study more about Islam so that she can acquire more knowledge. This would enable her to teach her children as well as the sisters in her community. She wishes to come closer to Allaah, but the demands of daily life seem to be in the way.
Case 4: Reema
Reema is an energetic, educated, and intelligent woman. She works full-time in a company as an accountant, but does not really enjoy her work. She has been with the company for almost 5 years. She also has a husband and two children—Yacoub, age 7 and Zainab, age 5. Although Reema is very resourceful, she struggles with balancing the demands of both work and home. Her time is spent go back and forth between these two demands. By the end of the
day, she feels emotionally drained and unfulfilled due to the stresses of her job. She feels that she has no emotional energy left to give to her family. She is concerned about how this will impact her children.
How do we nurtureourselves?
There is no right way or one perfect solution to nurturing the self. Nurturing is specific to each person and each season of life. It is personal and intimate. The ways that we are nurtured reflect our deepest wants and needs. We begin by asking ourselves, “What feels nurturing to me?” You can try to remember times in which you felt nurtured arid loved and create a list of those times )or places or people(. Spend time writing in a journal about what feels nurturing to you. To gather more ideas, ask friends what they do to nurture themselves. Gradually, accumulate a list of events, people, and things that feel nurturing.
To get some practice, go through each of the scenarios above and try to come up with ways that each of the women can nurture themselves. It may be a good idea to do this with a friend or group of friends. The outcome may surprise you.
The importance of spirituality
At the foundation of the human experience is spirituality. While all elements are important and we attempt to balance them, the aspect that cannot be eliminated or ignored is one’s relationship with the Creator. This will impact a person’s life more than any other aspect. The soul is at the center of the human being. Allaah Almighty Says what means:"Then He fashioned him in due proportion and breathed into him the soul )created by Allaah for that person( and made for you hearing and vision and hearts )i.e., intellect(; little are you grateful."]Quran 32: 9[
We also understand that our purpose in life is to worship Allaah Almighty. Allaah Says what means:“And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.”]Quran 51:56[. It is through this worship that we obtain the greatest fulfillment and nourishment because it brings us closer to our Source. We find peace and contentment simply in the remembrance of Allaah Almighty. Allaah Says what means:“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allaah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allaah hearts are assured.”]Quran 3:28[
When we focus on nourishing our spirituality it will flow into the other areas of our life. The guidelines that are provided by the religion will become methods of nurturance themselves. Maintaining the ties of family is an example of nurturing the social aspect. Eating healthy food is part of taking care of the physical self. When we understand that the concept of worship in Islam is broad and includes any actions that are acceptable to Allaah and done for His sake, the matter becomes clear. In the end, we begin to realize that nurturance can be found in the hugs and care given to a child, in the completion of a project for work, or even in the cooking of a dinner meal. Remembrance of Allaah in all that we do will bring much of the nurturance that we need in this life.

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * Annulling engagement because of a dream

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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M. MD, IRI (Managing Director, Islamic Research Institution)

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is it permissible to annul an engagement after two years because of the fiancé seeing a bad dream after praying istikhaarah?
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Praise be to Allah.
With regard to rulings and his understanding of life and circumstances, and his evaluation of the experiences he goes through, the Muslim bases all of that on the reasoning, wisdom and measures that Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, has enjoined us to pay attention to and follow. This is what Islam teaches us; it instructs us to examine, contemplate and weigh up reason and experience, then to make our decisions after that regarding people and actions.
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Thus Allah makes clear His Ayat (Laws) to you, in order that you may understand”
[al-Baqarah 2:242].
There is nothing in our religion to suggest that we should rely on dreams and visions, either with regard to worldly matters or religious rulings. Knowledge that is obtained via dreams is subjective, is not reliable and there is no certainty about it. rather it is subject to doubt, and it is not possible that Islam would instruct people to refer for knowledge to sources that are imaginary and cannot meet the least academic standards.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: Dreams are of three types: a good dream which is glad tidings from Allah, a dream from the Shaytaan which causes distress, and a dream that comes from what a man is thinking of to himself…”
Narrated by Muslim (2263).
the Shaytaan plays a role in what people see in their dreams, just as a person's own self does, and it is difficult for one to be certain of the source of his dream at all times. So how can a Muslim feel comfortable with a dream that he has seen and base his decisions on it, when he knows that the Shaytaan may have played the greatest role in producing it?
That also applies to the case of marriage. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) has set out for us the characteristics on which we should base our decision of accepting or rejecting a suitor, as he said:
“If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your female relative under your guardianship) to him, for if you do not do so, there will be tribulation and great mischief on earth.” They said: O Messenger of Allah, even if there are some reservations concerning him?? He said: “If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your female relative under your guardianship) to him,” three times Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1085); he said: It is hasan ghareeb. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
So he defined character and religious commitment as the standards on which people should base their decisions when rejecting or accepting a suitor. Hence the questioner should not pay attention to anything else or respond to whatever she sees in her dreams of things in which the Shaytaan may have played a part, seeking to divide spouses and cause division and conflict.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked the following question inLiqa' al-Baab al-Maftooh(no. 5/question no. 17):
A man proposed marriage to a woman, and in a dream she saw him clean-shaven. Should she agree to marry him or not? In real life he appears to be good, and he does not shave his beard; he is religiously-committed, but Allah knows best about him.
He (may Allah have mercy on him) replied:
If a woman sees a man who has proposed to her as clean-shaven in a dream, when in reality he does not shave his beard, what she sees in her dream does not matter, and that should not prevent her from marrying him, so long as he is upright in his religious commitment and character. End quote.
Moreover, we should point out that istikhaarah has nothing to do with seeing dreams – as many people think – because the purpose of istikhaarah is to ask Allah, may He be exalted, to make easier the better of two options, and turning to Him, may He be glorified, for guidance to the best of affairs. Istikhaarah is a du'aa' (supplication) and when Allah answers it, He makes easy the thing that the person has chosen, after thinking and reflecting. The du'aa' has nothing whatsoever to do with dreams.
Our advice to the sister is to think again, and not try to ruin her marital ties just because of a dream. Rather she should let religion and reason govern the issue of her engagement, then take an appropriate stance after that.
And Allah knows best.





















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