General Articles, - We Get What We Strive For: Tafseer of Surah Najm 53:38-41

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What we repeatedly think and say is what we get. Our inner conversations, words, thoughts and feelings determine the kind of life and reality we experience. If we occupy our mind with negative thoughts and expect difficulties and problems, we will draw them into our lives. If we constantly think of success we will achieve success. If we find it difficult to think positively, affirmations can help us change the way we think! The greatness of our human mind is that we can think and imagine what does not exist right now. We can envision situations and circumstances that are different from our current reality, and in this way we can create better situations and circumstances. TRY SAYING SOME OF THESE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS DAILY: *.Insha Allah, I will see stressful situations as challenges. *.Challenges bring opportunities. *.Insha Allah, I will choose to focus on the good things and not the bad. *.Insha Allah, I will deal with whatever Allah swt puts before me in the best way (with patience and prayer). *.Insha Allah I will strive to get and maintain balance in my life. *.Insha Allah, I am loveable and open to giving and receiving love. *.With Allah swt is my success. *.I have good intentions (niyyah). Repeat the affirmations faithfully ever day and you will find over time that these concepts will re-program the way you think, turning you into a more positive person Insha'Allah. Allah swt tells us in the Holy Quran that man gets what he strives for. We know that what we put our focus, energy and efforts on is what we ultimately strive for.....we can get there from here....just believe in the power of faith and good deeds, surely Allah swt hears the prayers of every supplicant!! Explanation of this Ayat from Tafsir "That no bearer of burdens can canbear the burden of another. That man have nothing except what he strives for. That (the fruit) of his striving will soon come to sight. Then will he be rewarded with a reward complete."(Quran 53:38-41) Tafseer ibn Katheer Then the Exalted clearly explains what He revealed in the Books of Ibraheem and Moosa, so He said"That no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another"meaning that every soul wrongs itself with rejection (kufr) and anything from among the sins. So upon it, is its own burden, no one else will carry it, just as the Exalted has said"If one heavily laden should call another to bear his load not the least portion of it can be carried (by the other) even if he be closely related." "That man can have nothing except what he strives for."Meaning just as he will not carry the burden of anybody else, likewise he will not acquire any reward except what he has earned for himself; and from this noble ayah Imaam ash-Shaafi`ee concluded that the recitation (of the Quraan) and the presentation of its reward does not reach the dead, because it is not from among the actions or the earnings of the dead and because of this the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu-alaihi-wasallam) did not recommend it to his Ummah, nor did he direct them towards it, either with a text or indirectly. Furthermore, this has not been reported from anyone among the Sahaabah (radiallahu-anhum) and if there was a good deed then they would have been the foremost in doing it. As for the matter of actions done for the sake of Allah, they are restricted to a text and are not dealt with with the types of Qiyaas (Deduction by analogy) or Ra`iy (Opinion); but as for supplication and charity then it is agreed upon that they reach the dead and there is a text from the Sharee`ah for them both. As for the hadeeth which is reported by Muslim in his Saheeh, from Abu Hurairah, who said that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu-alaihi-wasallam) said: "When a man dies his deeds are cut off except for three: recurring charity, knowledge by which people benefit and a righteous son who supplicates for him." Then these three are in truth from his striving, his toil, his struggle and his actions as is reported in the hadeeth: "Verily the most wholesome of what a man eats is from his earnings." The recurring charity such as endowments and the like, these are also from the effects of his actions and his endowments as the Exalted has said"Verily We shall give life to the dead and We record that which they send before them and that which they leave behind..." As for the Knowledge which he divulged among the people and the people acted upon it, then that is also from his striving and his actions, and it is confirmed in the Saheeh: "Whoever calls to guidance there is for him reward with the like of it and the reward of whoever follows him without any decrease form their reward." The speech of Allah {And that (the fruit of) his striving will soon come to sight} meaning the Day of Judgement as He, the Exalted, says {And say: Work (righteousness); soon will Allah observe your work, and His Messenger, and the believers...} Then He recompenses you with a completeness of reward (a reward complete); if it is good then with good and if it is bad then with bad. Thus He said here {Then will he be rewarded with a reward complete} meaning amply, in abundance.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Marital Life, - Men taking charge of women

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Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Men are in charge of women by ]right of[ what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend ]for maintenance[ from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in ]the husband's[ absence what Allaah would have them guard. But those ]wives[ from whom you fear arrogance - ]first[ advise them; ]then if they persist[, forsake them in bed; and ]finally[, strike them. But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand. And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allaah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Knowing and Acquainted ]with all things[.{]Quran 4:34-35[
Like other creatures in this universe, Allaah The Exalted created humans and made living with mates a part of their nature. He Says )what means(:}And of all things We created two mates; perhaps you will remember.{]Quran 51:49[ Then He ordained that the mates of the human be the two parts of only one self. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one self and created from it its mate.{]Quran 4:1[ Subsequently, He willed that the two parts of the one self gather, among the other things that He Willed, to serve as a source of its tranquility, quietness for the nerves, reassurance for the soul, repose for the body and a means to cover, safeguard and protect it. Moreover, this gathering is a source for procreation and expansion of life along with the self's ongoing progress in caring for the tranquility, calmness, reassurance and covering of the gathering place.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.{]Quran 30:21[
}They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.{]Quran 2:187[
}Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth ]righteousness[ for yourselves.{]Quran 2:223[
}O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.{]Quran 66:6[
}And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith - We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds.{]Quran 52:21[
As the two parts of the one self are equal in the sight of Allaah The Almighty and out of His honoring for humankind, He honored the woman and made the reward and compensation of her deeds equal to that of the man's. Moreover, He provided her with the rights of ownership, inheritance and independency of her civil character. Allaah The Exalted created people in the form of male and female; two mates in accordance to the general norm upon which this universe is established. He entrusted the woman with the tasks of pregnancy, birth, suckling and maintaining the fruit of her connection with the man, which is the children.
These tasks are huge and dangerous. Their requirements are neither simple nor easy to be fulfilled without a deeply-set organic, psychic and mental preparation within the entity of the female. It is fair, on the other hand, that the other half – the man – is entrusted with the job of satisfying the necessary needs and providing protection for the woman. In this way, she would be able to devote herself to her difficult job and not be overburdened with the tasks of pregnancy, birth, suckling and maintaining her child, on one hand, and working, being exhausted and staying awake in order to protect herself and her child at the same time on the other. It is also fair that both the man and the woman are endowed with special characteristics in their organic, nervous, mental and psychic formation that help each of them to efficiently fulfill the requirements of his role. This is the reality and your Lord does not wrong anyone.
Along with other characteristics, the woman is provided with gentleness, kindness, quick-excitement and the immediate response for the requirements of childhood with neither awareness nor pre-thinking. That is because all the intrinsic human necessities, even in the one person, are not left for one's disturbed awareness and slow thinking; rather the response for them was made invountary, in order to facilitate immediate fulfillment.
Indeed, the woman does so in what is coercion-like, however it is an internal coercion that is not dictated from the outside, and is mostly nice and desirable in order that her response be quick, on one hand, and comfortable, on the other, regardless of the extent of hardship and sacrifice. It is the doing of Allaah The Almighty, Who perfected all things. These characteristics are not superficial; rather they are deeply-set within the organic, nervous, mental and psychic formation of the woman. Even senior specialist scholars say that these characteristics are deeply-set in every cell because they are established in the formation of the first cell which divides and procreates in order to form the fetus with all his original characteristics.
Along with other characteristics, Allaah The Exalted provided the man with the characteristics of roughness, strength, low-excitement, unhurried response and using his awareness and thinking before movement and response. This is because all his tasks, starting with hunting - which he practiced after coming to this life, fighting - which he usually undergoes to defend his wife and children, satisfying the needs of life, as well as other tasks in this world require some premeditation before execution, and an unhurried response in general. Exactly like women, these characteristics are deeply-set in his very formation.
Such characteristics make the man more capable and eligible to take charge of the woman. Moreover, they oblige him to spend on the woman, which is one of the branches of distributing functions that makes him more entitled to this task. This is because providing for the means of life within the institution of the family and its members are included in this duty. Furthermore, supervising the disposal of wealth within this institution is a task that is nearer to man's nature and task within the family. These are the two factors that the abovementioned Quranic text highlights while it states that men are in charge of women in the Muslim community. It is a cause-based task. Some of these causes are related to formation and preparation, while others are related to the distribution of jobs and functions, and a third group that are related to equality in distribution, on one hand, and charging every part of this distribution with the jobs that are facilitated for him and he is naturally prepared for, on the other hand.
He is, in reality, entitled to take on this task as the man is ready to undergo the task of taking charge of the woman, trained on it and has fulfilled its requirements. This is because the institution of the family cannot stand without entrusting the task of taking charge to someone, like other institutions, though the latter may be less in importance and value. Moreover, while one of the two parts of the human self )the man( is prepared for this task, supported to do it and charged with its obligations, the other part )the woman( is neither prepared nor supported to do this. Therefore, it is not fair to overburden her with this task and charge him with its obligation along with her other duties. Even when she is prepared and scientifically and practically trained to do this, it will negatively affect her readiness to fulfill the obligations of the other role: the job of motherhood, as it also has requirements and preparations. Quick-excitement and immediate response come in the first place as well as other preparations that are deeply-set in the nervous and organic formation of the woman and its effects in her behavior and response.
These are very important issues. It is more dangerous if they are controlled by human whims and left for them to randomly dispose of them at will. When these issues were left to human beings during the pre-Islamic ages of ignorance as well as in the modern ages of ignorance, they threatened the existence of humanity itself and the existence of human characteristics upon which human life is established and with which it is distinguished from creatures.
The nature on which Allaah The Exalted created people already exists and governs, and its rules control human beings, even while they deny, reject its rules and try to ignore them. The following are some of the proof behind this fact:
-The confusion and corruption that afflicts the human life, along with deterioration and collapse and being threatened with destruction and stagnation every time mankind contradicts this norm. The authority of taking charge within the family was shaken, its features are confused and it has deviated from its natural and original norm.
-The woman herself looks to entrust the task of taking charge to the party that it is originally entrusted to within the family. No one can deny that she feels deprived, inferior, worried and sad when she lives with a man who neither fulfills the requirements of taking charge nor has the necessary qualifications and, therefore, he entrusts her with this task. It is an observable fact that all women admit, even the deviant among them who wander in darkness.
-The children who are raised in a family within which the task of taking charge is not entrusted to the father, either because he has a weak character in a way that the character of the mother surpasses and dominates him, or because he is absent due to death, or not having a legitimate father, it is rare that they grow as perfect human beings. It is rare that they grow without deviation to a certain irregularity in their nervous and psychic formation or in their moral and practical behavior.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Marital Life, - Push Your Husband Towards Success

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It is said that behind every great man there is a great woman. Have you ever thought of being that great woman who makes a great man of her husband? Many women wish to do so, but only a few of them endeavor to fulfill that precious wish in a practical way. In the following lines, we shall try to help you and your husband on to the way of success. We shall offer you the secrets of success and tell you what you are expected to do to make these possible and easy for your husband. The relevant source is a book written by Mr. ‘Aadil Fat’hi ‘Abdullaah about how the wife can push her husband towards success.
- Always remind your husband to have a righteous intention in every deed. Do not drive him into doing something that is beyond his capacity. If you do so, he might resort to unlawful or doubtful means to fulfill your requests. Let your constant advice to your husband be that of the righteous woman who said to her husband, "Fear Allaah in treating us, and do not feed us except lawfully earned sustenance, for we can endure hunger in life, but we cannot endure Hell in the Hereafter."
- Be realistic in setting your goals. If you find your husband setting imaginary goals, draw him gently back to reality. Follow the gradual approach in setting and achieving goals. A great goal can be divided into smaller ones, and whenever a minor goal is achieved, help your husband with the following one, and so on. Do not be hasty in achieving these goals, and do not hesitate to give up some of the things that you want for yourself for the sake of your family’s welfare.
- As long as the goals are set, there should be sound and disciplined planning to achieve them. The success of this rests on complete knowledge of the nature of work. Thereby, you should provide your husband with the suitable environment to help him achieve the task of planning for work with peace of mind. Help him to count all that he needs to achieve the task that he is working on, and help him set a five-year plan to achieve something important for the family every five years.
- AllaahThe Almighty orders us to do our work well and with perfection in all conditions and under all circumstances. Also, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Indeed, Allaah loves that when any one of you does something, he does it perfectly.”Hence, help your husband and encourage him to attain perfection.
- Help your husband to have self-confidence by praising his good qualities, reminding him of his successful achievements either during or before your marriage and by discovering his talents. Many people are quite unaware of their talents, and know them by virtue of others. As you are the closest person to him, you can help him discover his negative qualities and try to discuss and treat them. Do not forget to offer your advice in a beautiful and gentle manner.
- Always remember that life is made up of time, and that good utilization of time is one of the tasks that lead to success. To have well-managed time, you should prepare visits to your relatives and friends far in advance, and do not use such visits as a chance to waste time. Internal family problems, like the children's simple troubles, should be settled without wasting your husband's time. You can relieve him of some burdens by buying the household needs, so that you can save him time to resume his work or to rest. You may utilize the time wasted in chatting on the phone and watching television in helping your husband as much as you can.
- Any success in life is devoid of blessing unless it is associated with good deeds. We are not talking here about the obligations that Allaah The Almighty enjoins upon us, for the necessity to observe them is obvious. We mean the voluntary acts of worship, charity and acts of kindness done by Muslims as they seek to be close to Allaah The Almighty. Psychologists, even those who are Western, acknowledge the great effects of doing good deeds on the souls, pushing them towards success. Good deeds give peace of mind and great happiness. Therefore, you should kindly push your husband towards doing all sorts of good deeds.
- Many people work in many different fields and do many things which end up being worthless. Their time is wasted because of one simple reason, they never complete a task. There are many tasks which are either completed or left incomplete. Hence, help your husband to adopt an attitude of perseverance to achieve his tasks by not insisting that he fulfills your demands that are beyond his capacity. Such insistence might cause him to move to another kind of work without achieving anything in his previous one thus, losing success in both.
- Life is never free of difficulties and obstacles. However, the sound mind that proceeds on the way of success is always driven by high aspirations to overcome the obstacles and deal patiently with misfortunes. Allaah The Almighty addresses the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, Saying )what means(:}O you who covers himself ]with a garment[, Arise and warn, And your Lord glorify, And your clothing purify, And uncleanliness avoid, and do not confer favor to acquire more.{]Quran 74:1-7[
It is a divine call to wake up and struggle to construct life. To make your husband highly motivated, you should be highly motivated yourself.
- You should know that man needs nothing more in his life than patience. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship.”
Thus, patience is the way to achieve the pursued goal. To be patient is not only to endure adversities, but also to make no complaints except to Allaah The Almighty. With this sort of patience, one should neither be restless nor discontented. Patience should always be joined with being content with the divine decree and confidence in what is with Allaah The Almighty. This is always better and more lasting.
Futile Success
- In conclusion, you should be certain of the fact that not all successful people are happy. There are successful people whom we believe to be very happy, when in reality they are miserable and wish to get rid of all of their success, in exchange of a moment’s happiness. Success that is achieved at the expense of one's physical, psychological and moral health is indeed destructive. Failure is better than this kind of success. Therefore, be careful not to push your husband to succeed in something that will cost him more than failure does.
Life is a balance between many things, and any disturbance in this balance will lead to troubles, failure and loss. This balance can never be illustrated better than by the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who said:“Your Lord has a right on you, and your family has a right on you, and your self has a right on you; so give each his due right.”

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M