Dought & clear, - (Belief) - Ruling on a believer whocommits some sins.

What is the situation of a believer who commits many sins during his
life? Will Allaah forgive him or will he be punished? What is the
extent of his punishment?
Praise be to Allaah.
If believers die believing in Allaah but having committed sins less
than major shirk that puts a person beyond the pale of Islam, one of
two scenarios may apply:
1 – they repented from those sins during their lives. If they repented
sincerely, Allaah will accept that from them, and they will once again
become like those who did not commit any sin, and they will not be
punished for their sins in the Hereafter. Indeed, their Lord may
honour them and turn their bad deeds (sayi'aat) into good deeds
(hasanaat).
2 – those who die without having repented from their sins, or whose
repentance was imperfect and did not meet the required conditions, or
their repentance was not accepted. What is proven in the verses of the
Qur'aan and the Sunnah of the Prophet, and on which the righteous
salaf was agreed is that these – the sinners among those who believe
in Tawheed (the oneness of Allaah) – fall into three categories:
The first category:People who have many hasanaat (good deeds) to their
credit, which outweigh these sayi'aat (bad deeds). Allaah will forgive
them for their bad deeds and admit them to Paradise. The Fire will
never touch them, as a kindness and blessing from Allaah. According to
a hadeeth narrated by Ibn 'Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him), the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah will
bring the believer close and will shelter him with His screen, then He
will say, 'Do you remember such and such a sin? Do you remember such
and such a sin?' and he will say, 'Yes, O Lord,' until He makes him
confess his sins and he thinks that he is doomed. Then [Allaah] will
say, 'I concealed it for you in the world and I forgive you for it
today.' Then he will be given the book of his good deeds (hasanaat).
But as for the kaafir and the hypocrite, the witnesses will say,
'These are the ones who lied against their Lord!' No doubt! the curse
of Allaah is upon the zaalimoon (wrongdoers) [cf. Hood 11:18].'"
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2441; Muslim, 2768).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"So as for those whose Scale (of good deeds) will be heavy, they will
be the successful (by entering Paradise)"[al-A'raaf 7:8]
"Then as for him whose Balance (of good deeds) will be heavy,
He will live a pleasant life (in Paradise)"[al-Qaari'ah 101:6-7]
The second category:people whose hasanaat and sayi'aat are equal, so
their sayi'aat are enough to keep them away from Paradise, but their
hasanaat are enough to save them from Hell. These are the people of
al-A'raaf (a wall with elevated places) whom Allaah says will stand
between Paradise and Hell as long as Allaah wills, then they will be
granted permission to enter Paradise, as Allaah says after telling us
of the entrance of the people of Paradise to Paradise and the people
of Hell to Hell. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And between them will be a (barrier) screen and on Al-A'raaf (a wall
with elevated places) will be men (whose good and evil deeds would be
equal in Scale), who would recognise all (of the Paradise and Hell
people), by their marks (the dwellers of Paradise by their white faces
and the dwellers of Hell by their black faces). And they will call out
to the dwellers of Paradise, 'Salaamun 'Alaykum' (peace be on you),
and at that time they (men on Al-A'raaf) will not yet have entered it
(Paradise), but they will hope to enter (it) with certainty.
And when their eyes will be turned towards the dwellers of the Fire,
they will say: 'Our Lord! Place us not with the people who are
Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers).'
And the men on Al-A'raaf (the wall) will call unto the men whom they
would recognise by their marks, saying: 'Of what benefit to you were
your great numbers (and hoards of wealth), and your arrogance (against
Faith)?'
Are they those, of whom you swore that Allaah would never show them
mercy. (Behold! It has been said to them): 'Enter Paradise, no fear
shall be on you, nor shall you grieve'"[al-A'raaf 7:46-39]
The third category:People who will meet Allaah persisting in
committing major sins and acts of immorality, so their sayi'aat will
outweigh their hasanaat. These are the ones who will deserve to enter
Hell in a manner commensurate with their sins. Some of them will be
seized by the Fire as far as their ankles, some up to mid-calf, some
up to their knees, and for some only the mark of sujood will be
spared. These are the ones whom Allaah will permit to be brought forth
from the Fire because of the intercession of the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). He, all the Prophets, the angels,
the believers and whoever else Allaah wishes to honour will intercede
for them. Whoever among these sinners has more faith and committed
less sins will have a lighter punishment and remain in Hell for a
shorter period and will be brought forth sooner. Those whose sins were
greater and whose faith was weaker, will have a greater punishment and
will remain for longer. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound from
all evils.
This is the situation of the sinful believers in the Hereafter.
With regard to this world, so long as they do not do anything that
would put them beyond the pale of Islam, then they are believers whose
faith is lacking, as the righteous salaf agreed, basing that on the
verses of the Qur'aan and the ahaadeeth of the Prophet. These aayahs
include:
"But if the killer is forgiven by the brother (or the relatives) of
the killed against blood money, then adhering to it with fairness and
payment of the blood money to the heir should be made in fairness"
[al-Baqarah 2:178 – interpretation of the meaning]
So Allaah describes the killer as the brother of the heirs of the
victim. This brotherhood is the brotherhood of faith, which indicates
that the killer is not regarded as a kaafir, even though killing a
believer is one of the most serious of major sins.
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And if two parties (or groups) among the believers fall to fighting,
then make peace between them both. But if one of them outrages against
the other, then fight you (all) against the one that which outrages
till it complies with the Command of Allaah. Then if it complies, then
make reconciliation between them justly, and be equitable. Verily,
Allaah loves those who are the equitable.
The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So
make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allaah, that you
may receive mercy"[al-Hujuraat 49:9-10]
So Allaah described each of the fighting parties as believers, even
though fighting is a major sin. Indeed, He described the ones who
reconcile between them as being their brothers, which indicates that
the one who commits a major sin which does not reach the degree of
shirk and kufr is still regarded as a believer and comes under the
rulings on believers, but he is lacking in faith. In this way the
shar'i texts may be reconciled and support one another. And Allaah
knows best.
SeeA'laam al-Sunnah al-Manshoorah, 212;Sharh al-'Aqeedah
al-Waasitiyyahby Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen, 2/238.

For children, - Perseverance in Islam 11

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my
Spirituality...I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. God, I said. Can
you give me one good reason not to quit His answer surprised me...
Look around, God said. Do you see the fern and the bamboo? Yes, I replied.
When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of
them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from
the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came
from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew
more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo
seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
God said, in the third year there was still nothing from the bamboo
seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing
from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.
God said, and then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the
earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and
insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100
feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I
would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.
God said to me, did you know, my creation, that all this time you have
been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not
quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.
Don't compare yourself to others. God said, the bamboo had a different
purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful. Your
time will come, God said to me. You will rise high.
I left the forest and bring back this story. I hope these words can
help you see that God will never give up on you. God will never give
up on you!
Moral:In life never lose hope and never give up or quit in life and
Success will come to you later in life.

For children, - Perseverance in Islam 1

Tamerlane! Amir Timur was a great Mongolian King and great great
grandfather of Babur, the founder of the Mughal Dynastyin India. He
was one of the bravest and greatest warriors born in present
Uzbekistan. He had conquered nearly half of the world known at that
time. His courage was great. Amir Taimur, was someone who was so firm
and unfaltering in every predicament, that he did not cower from any
misfortune. He learnt from an Ant not to loose courage. He tells his
own story as follows.
Once he was fighting a battle. He was defeated. He had to run away to
the mountains to save his life. He hid himself in a safe place. Tired
and hungry he sat at one place quietly watching little things around
him. He noticed an Ant working. The Ant was carrying a grain of rice
much bigger than itself. With this load the Ant tried to climb up a
wall. The grain fell down. The Ant came down and lifted the grain once
again. It started to climb the wall. Again the grain fell down and
again it went down to try. The Ant did not loose courage. It tried
again and again. The King tells us that the Ant tried thirty three
times until it succeeded in taking the grain up the wall. The King
learnt a lesson. Man looses courage. He was weak. He must grow strong.
I said to myself: O' Taimur! You are by no means inferior to an Ant.
Arise and get back to work. So heartened, he went about collecting his
run-away soldiers and officers. He rebuilt his army. He fought yet
another battle. He won. Thereafter, one success after another came to
him. He had learnt not to loose courage. He continued to battle until
he became a great King.
Constant effort is the key to success. Ants know their lesson. Men
have to learn. Never loose courage. Islam teaches true values of life.
It teaches human beings not to despair. Each one must try harder and
achieve greater results in life.
Noble Qur'an teaches: "And that there is nothing for man except what
he tried, His efforts shall be seen. And rewarded to fullest extent."
(Sura An-Najm 53:39-41)
Moral:Falling down is not defeat...defeat is when you refuse to get up...

Sex in Islam, - Dealing With Premature Release

In my line of work, I often get asked by people what my most
frequently asked question is. This is easy -- it is by far "How do I
solve my premature ejaculation problems?" This week, we will look at
ways to cure this problem that plagues many men.
According to University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, lead
author of a comprehensive new US sex study, 31% of men and 43% of
women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction.
The study, published last year in the Journal of the American Medical
Association, was based on data from the 1992 National Health and
Social Life Survey, a collection of interviews with 1,749 women and
1,410 men aged 18 to 59.
One-third of men said they had recurring problems with climaxing too
early, 14 percent said they had no interest in sex and 8 percent said
they regularly experienced no pleasure from sex.
Women, on the other hand, were a different story. A third said they
regularly didn't want sex, 26 percent said they regularly didn't reach
orgasm and 23 percent said sex was not pleasurable.
Same Causes
In both sexes, these problems were attributed to emotional and stress
problems including poor health, poor quality of life and prior
traumatic sexual experiences.
Although premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction,
it is very difficult for men to discuss. A man who can't get it up or
keep it up, understandably feels like less of a man. However, it
should not be this way. If more men were willing to talk about their
problem, it would be easier to accept, knowing that they are not
alone.
Often, men are not sure what is considered premature ejaculation. The
average male takes less than 3 minutes from the time of insertion till
he ejaculates.
According to the technical definition, it is ejaculation that occurs
prior to when a man wishes, or too quickly during intercourse to
satisfy the partner. This usually leads to the loss of a usable
erection for the simple reason that their discharge has temporarily
released a state of elevated sexual tension.
Although the complaint is usually stated in terms of time, this is
because it is the only way to measure and compare. The issue, however,
is really about control of the ejaculatory process and releasing when
you feel ready. Men are usually more upset about the lack of a vote or
influence over when they ejaculate.
One man might feel proud to last ten minutes, while this may be too
short for another. Like the saying goes,one man's trash is another
man's treasure.
Learned Behavior
From the point of view of reproduction, early release is not a major
problem. Lasting longer in bed serves no known genetic function. It is
something that we must learn to do, as opposed to being innate.
First, one must understand what is happening to his body when he
ejaculates. Orgasm consists of two stages. The first begins with the
prostate gland, which encircles the urethra like a tiny donut above
the base of the penis. This contracts and releases its fluids, along
with the contents of the seminal vesicle, into the urethra.
The second phase occurs when the pelvic muscle contracts strongly
around the bulb, forcing the fluid out under considerable pressure.
Men should be aware that it is possible to ejaculate without having an
orgasm and vice versa.
Therapy Helps
The good news is that this is a problem that is highly curable,
providing the man is willing to get help and invest the time and
effort needed. It is believed that 80-90% of men are able to learn
better control through therapy.
The first step to lasting longer is to become familiar with one's
self. Be comfortable with your body, its sensations and the feelings
leading up to orgasm. You should learn and be able to predict when the
orgasm will occur. This will prevent it from creeping up on you and
taking you by surprise. This will also help you do what is necessary
to prevent you from reaching that "point of no return."
The "stop and start" method involves bringing yourself just before the
point of no return, and stopping all movement before it is too late.
When the urgency to ejaculate subsides, start thrusting again, and
repeat several times.
This can also be practiced using your partner's hand, mouth or even by
yourself. It may require some trial and error, as you may pass that
point accidentally.
Breathe In, Breathe Out
Many people are not aware of it, but proper breathing can help develop
ejaculatory control. This is because taking a few deep breaths can
help you relax and calm the arousal and tension that leads to quick
ejaculations. Practice deep, easy, relaxed breathing and relax your
entire body.
Communication is another key to long-lasting sex. Let your partner
know when you are getting close and what you can and cannot handle.
This will involve the use of actual words, since non-verbal cues are
easily misunderstood. "Stop," "Hold it," "Start," and "More," are
obvious choices and anything else that's short and clear, is
acceptable.
Other causes of premature ejaculation are anxiety, fear or discomfort
with your partner. Premature ejaculation is less likely to occur if
the couple knows each other well; feels comfortable with one another;
both partners are consenting; in a comfortable, relaxed and private
setting; and after contraception issues have been discussed.
Many men can also last longer the second time around, so perhaps this
can be incorporated into your love-making. If round one is short,
please her with some extended foreplay using your mouth, or with an
erotic massage during half-time until your soldier is ready for battle
once again.
Dream Cream
Desensitizing creams lessen the sensations felt by men during
intercourse so that they can last longer. The problem that many men
feel is that these creams make intercourse less pleasurable due to the
decreased stimulation.
Condoms reduce the amount of stimulation experienced during sex. Many
men find that a condom makes them last longer because of the decreased
stimulation. As you all know, condoms provide the best protection
against STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and pregnancy, so they
have added benefits.
The position of lovemaking may also affect a man's ability to last in
bed. The 'missionary' position, with the man on top, is not the best
position while attempting to control ejaculation. All men, however,
are different and some men find it harder to hold themselves when
their partner is in control.
Experiment and vary the positions according to what allows you to
control yourself better.
Pump It Up!
Finally, strong, well developed pelvic muscles will allow you better
control and make you more aware of what is happening in your nether
regions. Pelvic floor muscles are the ones used to stop and start
urination. Hold the muscles for three seconds, relax for three
seconds, and repeat ten times.
You can do this at anytime and in anyplace. Eventually, you should be
able to work your way up to 100 ten-second contractions per day.
Premature ejaculation can be easily countered with patience, effort
and knowledge. Informing yourself is the first step, and once you know
about the problem, you are halfway there. Overcoming the mental and
physical aspects of this problems are also much easier if both
partners are involved, aware of the situation and open to discuss it.
Once again, communication will be your strongest asset. Good luck to
you all, and the questions and answers will return next week.