Women site, - Is it Difficult to Abide by Islamic teachings?

This is a very important and pressing question.
What is this mysterious illusion that prevents many Muslim women from
abiding by the teachings of Islam and repenting of all apparent and
hidden sins and fully adhering to the Sunnah )tradition( of the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam?
Dear sister, let us talk about this issue generally. What prevents
many people from repenting and following the path of the believers?
Those people find repentance burdensome and think that abiding by the
teachings of Islam is something difficult. All this is caused by the
devil and the soul that is a persistent enjoiner of evil.
When you advise some people to repent, they say that this is extremely
difficult for them. A smoker, for instance, says, "I have been smoking
for twenty years. I intend to repent and give up smoking, but how can
I do this after this poison has penetrated into my body to the extent
that I cannot give it up?" Another man says, "I have been gazing at
women since the first time I opened my eyes and started to see. How I
can repent?" A third man may say, "How can I give up lying and tale
bearing?" A fourth one might say, "All through my life, I have been
giving people an imaginary image of myself and I cannot destroy this
image now?"
In fact, those people know deep inside their hearts that they are
mistaken, but they object and say daringly, "Observant people have
made everything prohibited; cigarettes, intoxicants, music, and
recreational drugs… all these things are prohibited…what is left for
us?"
How can one have a dialogue with such people? How can you tell them
that the prohibited matters are few and they are prohibited by
Sharee'ah )Islamic legislation(, not by the observant people, while
the lawful matters cannot be counted.
Actually, we disregard the fact that we should live for Allaah The
Almighty and according to His rules.
Abiding by the teachings of Islam should not be something difficult
for us. For instance, we should not abstain from praying Fajr )Dawn
prayer( because we are used to sleeping until noon. Is it not a loss
that some people stay up all night and sleep all day? Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:
„X}And We made the night as clothing. And made the day for
livelihood{]Quran 78:10-11[
„X}What deity other than Allaah could bring you a night in which you
may rest? Then will you not see?"{]Quran 28:72[
Night is for rest and you have changed this rest to noise and music
and stayed up all night, so sleeping all day would not be sufficient
for you. Try to accustom yourself to sleeping early and waking up
early. The Mother of the Believers, 'Aa'ishah, may Allaah be pleased
with her, said, "I wonder how those who miss the Fajr Prayer get their
sustenance…?" This is because sustenance is distributed after Fajr
Prayer. You sleep and do not pray, but Allaah The Almighty grants you
your sustenance…Are not you ashamed of yourself? You disobey Allaah
The Almighty and He gives you a respite.
The question is:
How can we get rid of the feeling that it is difficult to repent and
abide by the teachings of Islam?
The answer is that you have to do the following:
• Avoid procrastination:
You should repent immediately and without hesitation. To repent, you
should not think before doing so and submit to Allaah The Almighty.
Some people, when you say to them, "Let's pray 'Asr )post-noon
prayer(!", they would say, "We will pray Istikhaarah )the prayer for
guidance( first." Why should they pray Istikhaarah?
You should repent now and without procrastination as repentance is an
obligation.
Are you still thinking whether or not you should repent?
If you are doing so, you would be like the one who seeks the people's
opinion regarding the Legislation of Allaah The Almighty, in order to
see whether it is true or not.
These are the ordinances of Allaah The Almighty and He has shown you
the two ways, either to obey or disobey Him. What would you do?
You should know that the first solution for getting rid of the feeling
that repentance and abidance by the Islamic teachings are difficult is
to rid yourself of procrastination immediately and to correct your
intention.
• Be truthful with Allaah The Almighty
If you are truthful with Allaah The Almighty, He will compensate you
with what is better than what you have abandoned. For example, the
woman who abandons intermixing with men for the sake of Allaah the
Almighty, will be granted sustenance from where she does not expect.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
„X}And I did not create the Jinn and mankind except to worship Me. I
do not want from them any provision, nor do I want them to feed Me.
Indeed, it is Allaah who is the ]continual[ Provider, the firm
Possessor of strength.{]Quran 51:56-58[
„X}And in the heaven is your provision and whatever you are promised.
Then by the Lord of the heaven and earth, indeed, it is truth -- just
as ]sure as[ it is that you are speaking.{]Quran 51: 22-23[
„X}And there is no creature on earth but that upon Allaah is its
provision, and He knows its place of dwelling and place of storage.
All is in a clear register.{]Quran 11:6[
„X}And determined therein its ]creatures'[ sustenance{]Quran 41:10[
Are you afraid that Allaah The Almighty might leave you hungry?
Are you afraid that Allaah The Almighty might not grant you a husband?
Are you afraid that Allaah The Almighty might leave you insecure?
You should be truthful with Allaah The Almighty first of all. Be
truthful with Allaah The Almighty so that He fulfills your wishes.
Repent to Allaah The Almighty sincerely so that He drives all your
worries away. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And whoever fears
Allaah - He will make for him a way out.{]Quran 65: 2-3[
You should know that what Allaah The Almighty has cannot be obtained
except by obeying Him.
• Renouncing reliance on any power or strength )save those of Allaah
The Almighty(:
You should renounce reliance on any power or strength, seek the help
of Allaah The Almighty alone and have good expectations of Him. In
fact, anything that is difficult becomes easy by His Power. Thus, when
one seeks the help of Allaah, He would help him. People's hearts are
between two fingers of Allaah . He can change the hearts of people as
He likes. Allaah The Almighty can change your heart seemingly
overnight to the extent that you might hate all sins suddenly.
Renouncing reliance on any power or strength means leaving aside your
power and strength, your determination and drive, and seeking the help
of The King, The Omnipotent and The Subjugator.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Said the eminent ones who were
arrogant among his people, "We will surely evict you, O Shu'ayb, and
those who have believed with you from our city, or you must return to
our religion." He said, "Even if we were unwilling?" We would have
invented against Allaah a lie if we returned to your religion after
Allaah had saved us from it. And it is not for us to return to it
except that Allaah, our Lord, should will. Our Lord has encompassed
all things in knowledge. Upon Allaah we have relied. Our Lord, decide
between us and our people in truth, and You are the best of those who
give decision."{]Quran 7:88-89[ Shu'ayb, may Allaah exalt his mention,
relied solely on Allaah The Almighty.
"Do whatever you want", Nooh )Noah(, may Allaah exalt his mention,
said in the Quran in the verse )what means(:}So resolve upon your plan
and ]call upon[ your associates. Then let not your plan be obscure to
you. Then carry it out upon me and do not give me respite.{]Quran
10:71[
Hood, may Allaah exalt his mention, said similar words in the verses
)what mean(:}So plot against me all together; then do not give me
respite. Indeed, I have relied upon Allaah, my Lord and your
Lord.{]Quran 11:55-56[
As we said previously, our forelocks and the forelocks of our enemies
are in the hands of Allaah The Almighty who does whatever He wants.
Thus, you should deny your power and strength and feel that Allaah The
Almighty is with you with His knowledge, power and strength as He Says
)what means(:
„X}He is with you wherever you are.{]Quran 57:4[
„X}And when My servants ask you, ]O Muhammad[, concerning Me - indeed
I am near.{]Quran 2:186[
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Be mindful of Allaah
and He will preserve you, and if you are mindful of Allaah you will
find Him by your side."]At-Tirmithi: Hasan Saheeh[
In order to feel that Allaah The Almighty is with you, try to
contemplate and compare the following verses. Allaah The Almighty Says
)what means(:
„X}Have you seen if he is upon guidance. Or enjoins righteousness?
Have you seen if he denies and turns away -- does he not know that
Allaah sees?{]Quran 96:11-14[
„X}They said, "Our Lord, indeed we are afraid that he will hasten
]punishment[ against us or that he will transgress." ]Allaah[ Said,
"Fear not. Indeed, I Am with you both; I hear and I see."{]Quran
20:45-46[
When comparing the two verses, we realize that}Does he not know that
Allaah sees?{was mentioned as a threat for those who are disobedient.
This verse means that Allaah The Almighty will punish you if you do
not repent.
In the second group of verses, Allaah The Almighty Says )what
means(:}"Fear not. Indeed, I am with you both; I hear and I see."{This
indicates the help of Allaah, His guidance and blessing.
O Muslims, adhere to the teachings of Islam and do not say that it is
difficult to do so.
If you feel that repentance and adhering to the Sunnah of the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, are burdensome, drive procrastination
away, be truthful with Allaah The Almighty and rely on Him and you
will find that easy and find it difficult to follow your own desires.

Women site, - How Advisable is Marriage Between Relatives?

Marriage is a means of establishing new relationships, and expanding
the sphere of connections within the community. However, marriage
between relatives does not contribute to establishing new
relationships as is the case in marriage to non-relatives. So, it is
better for a Muslim woman to marry a non-relative if there is a
potential husband who possesses the specifications that pleases her
and her guardians.
In many cases, to marry a non-relative is necessary if there are no
relatives available, who have the characteristics of the Muslim
husband that are stipulated by Islam, with respect to piety, a good
reputation, and a healthy body, soul and mind; or if there is such a
man but the woman or her guardians did not accept him. Getting married
to non-relatives provides the woman with a wider field of establishing
connections, as a result of exposure to an environment and community
other than the one she was brought up with.
Moreover, marriage between relatives might lead to weak offspring due
to the accumulation of negative hereditary characteristics. It may be
this factor which prompted 'Umar bin Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be
pleased with him, to advise the Muslims saying, "Marry from
non-relatives lest your )offspring( would be weak."
Of course, this does not mean that marriage to relatives is prohibited
or unfavorable, if the suitable conditions are met. Rather, this draws
our attention to the danger of preventing marriage to non-relatives,
as is prevalent in certain Muslim communities.

Dought & clear, - Belief in al-Qadaa’ wa’l-Qadar (Divine will and decree).

What is the status of sabr (patience) in Islam? What should the Muslim
bear with patience?
Praise be to Allaah.
Belief inal-Qadaa' wa'l-Qadar(Divine will and decree) is one of the
pillars of faith. The Muslim's faith is not complete unless he knows
that whatever befalls him could not have missed him, and whatever
misses him could not have befallen him. Everything is subject to the
will and decree of Allaah, as Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"Verily, We have created all things with Qadar (Divine Preordainments
of all things before their creation as written in the Book of
DecreesAl Lawh Al Mahfooz).[al-Qamar 54:49]
The position of patience in relation to faith is like that of the head
in relation to the body. Patience is a noble attribute with good
consequences. Those who are patient will have an unlimited reward, as
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full,
without reckoning"[al-Zumar 39:10]
All the disasters and tribulations that happen on earth, or happen to
the individual, or to his wealth or family, etc., were known to Allaah
before they happened, He has written them inal-Lawh al-Mahfooz(the
Preserved Tablet) as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed
in the Book of Decrees (Al Lawh Al Mahfooz) before We bring it into
existence. Verily, that is easy for Allaah"[al-Hadeed 57:22]
No matter what disasters befall a person, it is good for him, whether
he knows that or not, because Allaah does not decree anything but it
is good, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Say: 'Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allaah has ordained
for us. He is our Mawlaa (Lord, Helper and Protector).' And in Allaah
let the believers put their trust"[al-Tawbah 9:51]
Every disaster that happens, happens by Allaah's leave. If He had not
willed it, it would not have happened, but Allaah permitted it to
happen and decreed it, and so it happened. Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"No calamity befalls, but by the Leave [i.e. Decision and Qadar
(Divine Preordainments)] of Allaah, and whosoever believes in Allaah,
He guides his heart [to the true Faith with certainty, i.e. what has
befallen him was already written for him by Allaah from the Qadar
(Divine Preordainments)]. And Allaah is the All-Knower of
everything"[al-Taghaabun 64:11]
Once a person knows that all calamities happen by the will and decree
of Allaah, then he has to believe and submit and be patient. The
reward for patience is Paradise, as Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And their recompense shall be Paradise, and silken garments, because
they were patient"[al-Insaan 76:12]
The call to Allaah (da'wah) is a great mission, and the one who
undertakes it is exposed to a great deal of harm and calamities. Hence
Allaah enjoined patience upon His Messenger and other Prophets:
"Therefore be patient (O Muhammad) as did the Messengers of strong
will"[al-Ahqaaf 46:35 – interpretation of the meaning]
Allaah has guided the believers, if some matter worries them or some
calamity befalls them to seek help with patience and prayer, so that
Allaah will relieve their distress and give them a way out:
"O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salaah (the prayer).
Truly, Allaah is with As-Saabiroon (the patient)"
[al-Baqarah 2:153 – interpretation of the meaning]
The believer must bear with patience that which Allaah has decreed,
and be patient in obeying Allaah, and be patient in keeping away from
sin. Whoever is patient, Allaah will give him an immeasurable reward
on the Day of Resurrection, as Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full,
without reckoning"[al-Zumar 39:10]
The believer in particular is rewarded in both good times and bad. The
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "How
wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good,
and that is for no one except the believer. If something good happens
to him, he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and if something
bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for
him."(Narrated by Muslim, no. 2999)
Allaah has taught us what we should say when calamity strikes, and has
stated that those who are patient will have an honourable position
with their Lord. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"… but give glad tidings to As Saabiroon (the patient).
Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: 'Truly, to Allaah we belong
and truly, to Him we shall return'"[al-Baqarah 2:155-156]

Dought & clear, - Is it permissible to say “circumstances willed” or “circumstances dictated”?.

I read in some stories, literary works and journalistic articles the
phrase "circumstances willed" or "circumstances dictated", or "fate
decreed". What is the ruling on these phrases?
Praise be to Allaah.
These are inappropriate phrases, because circumstances and fate do not
have a will.
The great scholar Muhammad ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah preserve him)
was asked about these phrases, and said:
" 'Fate willed' or 'circumstances willed/dictated' are reprehensible
phrases, because the Arabic word for circumstances,zuroof, is the
plural ofzarf, which is another word for time – and time does not have
a will. Similarly, fate does not have a will either.
The One Who does have a will is Allaah. If a person says 'the decree
of Allaah dictated such and such', there is nothing wrong with that.
But it is not correct to attribute will to decrees, because the will
does not belong to the description, it belongs to the One Who is
described."Majmoo' Fataawa wa Rasaa'il Muhammad ibn 'Uthaymeen,
3/131-132