Marriage in Islam - if one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married.

The first post on marriage covered the introduction to marriage and generally what Islam portrays regarding marriage. From the topics mentioned, "If one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married" is the next topic to be discussed. Islam is a flexible religion but has its boundaries; its flexibilityallows one to adopt it as a way of life and implement its teachings into every situation; whereas its boundaries restrict man from becoming too engrossed into certain acts andtherefore becoming extreme infollowing their desires. Flexibility and boundaries set by Islam have created a perfectbalance for man to achieve good both in this world and thehereafter, it is a balance that allows man to be successful in both the worlds. Marriage also has boundaries and flexibilities; it is a matter which has been regarded as half of one's Imaan (religion). Marriage is taken seriously in Islam as it allows people to live in a clean and moral society where desires are fulfilled in a human and shameful manner. It is an act that increases the number of believers and will cause our beloved Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم to be proud by having the largest number of believers. The Prophet of Allah صلي الله عليه و سلم has clearly forbidden people from celibacy: "There is no celibacy in Islam" [Sahih al-Bukhari] However, in life it is not always possible to adopt the Sunnah act of marriage. There come in life situations that restrict that do not allow one to get married. Therefore, it is necessary to mention the ruling of marriage;is it Mustahab (desired/recommended), Sunnah (way of the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم, therefore encouraged), Wajib/Fardh (obligatory). Similarly, there will be times when marriage will be ruled as Makrooh (disliked) or Haraam (forbidden). At this time we will deal with those rulings that concern that person who chooses not to marry or does not have the means to. According to Imams Abu Hanifah marriage is Sunnah and recommendatory. It is an act of worship and one should strive in fulfilling this act. However, if one is in a position where he cannot control his desires then it is Wajib (necessary) for such a person to get married as he will not be able to save himself from sinning. However, a person is excused from marrying, so much so thathe should refrain from it, if he does not possess the means of supporting his wife or the capability of fulfilling her rights. The question remains for that person who wishes to marry but does not possess the means, what should he do? Hadhrat 'Abdullah رضي الله عنه narrates that: "We were with the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah's Apostle صلي الله عليه و سلم said, "O young people! Whoever amongst you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting is a shield for him (from desires)." [Sahih al-Bukhari] In this Hadeeth it is clearly mentioned that one who cannot marry should fast as thefasting will act as a shield for him from his desires. However, whilst doing this one should make an effort to resolve the matters that are stopping him from marrying. As a final note, it should be remembered that not being financially able and being in a position to provide for one’s wife means the basic essentialsthat are necessary. Having an elegant and extravagant wedding and inviting people is not part of ‘essentials’ and is in actual fact totally discouraged and forbidden in Islam. However, in today’s society we see people going to the extent of taking out loans to organise a ‘wedding to remember. Insha Allah this topic will be mentioned in later posts and how choosing the correct partner will save one from committing such a grave sin from the first day of such a blessed and auspicious act of worship. May Allah give us all the courage and strength to save ourselves from the sins of desires and may He also give those people who are in need of marriage the means and a pious partner. Aameen./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

2a. Marriage, Istikhara & Choosing a Spouse A Question Answered

2a. This principle is well taught to us by Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه when once a witnesswent to depose before him. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه said bring to me one who knows you. When he brought aperson to him, the man began to praise his character. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه asked him: Is he your closest neighbour? He said: No. He thenasked him: Were you his companion in a journey? He said: No. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه then asked him: Did you carry on business with him? He said: No. Hadhrat Umarرضي الله عنه finally said: So,you don't know him. He then said to the man: Go, take one who knows you. This clearly shows that a person cannot be thought to bereligious by just seeing his appearance or his apparent act of worship because being religious is far more than that. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه explained that it is necessary tobe a person’s neighbour, to have travelled with him or to have done some business dealings with him in order to really be aware of his true character for these are the affairs and matters that bring out the true colour of a person. This leaves us with one final question, ‘how are we supposed to look for a religiousperson or what do you look forin a spouse to conclude or ascertain that they are from what the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم classed as بذات الدين. Insha Allah this question will beanswered when that topic comes into discussion and further explanation will be given on this matter. May Allah give us all the zeal and eagerness to choose those who are ‘religious’ and may He give us the understanding and knowledge to differentiate between those who are religious in its true sense as apposed to those who appear to be religious. Aameen./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

2. Marriage, Istikhara & Choosing a Spouse A Question Answered

2. Recently, I wrote my first post on the topic of Marriage, withinwhich I mentioned the topics I was intending to write about. However, I received a commentfrom one Sister who said the following: Question: Assalaamo-alaikum, I had a question I've been wondering on the topic of finding a suitable partner for marriage. I remember hearing a hadith on how a person is married for4 things - beauty, wealth, family status, righteousness, but that a believer should give preference to righteousness (orsomething to that effect). My question is that of the 4 things, beauty, wealth and family status are things that can be seen straight up (generally). However, the one thing a person cannot know - what degree of taqwa another person has - is what we're told to look for. Yes of course there are obvious things such as a person drinking or gambling, etc that are indications. But assuming none of those exist, how do you know another person's taqwa. I saw this because i recently had my Nikah broken off as theguy decided he no longer felt like marrying me. This guy seemed God-fearing, spoke about the importance of taqwa, etc. but turned out to besomeone who is unkind, unjustand materialistic (at least it seems so, Allah knows best). Thus how do you know. Yes Istikhara is a way, but I received good signs in istikhara - which I believe means God wanted me to go through this. But back to my question - how can you judge aperson's taqwa - how can anyone judge whats in anotherperson's heart for that is wherethe taqwa resides." Answer One of my main reasons for writing about the Salaah of Istikhara was for this reason; and I was hoping to answer the question in my fourth topic,How to choose a suitable spouse. However, I feel that thequestion needs to be answeredsooner, and therefore, I intend to make a brief answer until that topic is discussed in detail. First of all, the Hadeeth that has been mentioned is as follows: On the authority of Hadhrat Abu Huraira رضي الله عنه the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم has said: تنكح المرأه لأربع لمالها و لحسبها و جمالها و لدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك "A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." [Saheeh al-Bukhari: Book 62, Hadith: 5090] In the above Hadeeth our Beloved Prophet, Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, is informing us of the qualities a person normally looks for in a women, he then mentions to us to marry the religious women so that we may be blessed. This Hadeeth applies to anyone looking for a spouse; he or she should be looking for a religious partner and if thereafter the other qualities are found then it would like a bonus. However, as mentioned in the question, it is usually very simple to recognise a person for their wealth, status and beauty; they all are very apparent. But how does one recognise a religious person; that one quality which we are asked to choose over all others. There are many ways in which one can 'try' to determine the piety of a person and to ascertain whether he is 'religious'. However, before doing so, it is important to understand what 'religious' is and what it refers to. Many people have the misconception that a religious person is he who has knowledge; one who talks about religion, someone who merely portrays religion or thatperson who offers his prayers and supplications. However, this is far from the truth. Once a disciple of Hadhrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi came to him to ask of his advice regarding two proposals he had received for his daughter; one being from a clean shaven, not religious but at the same time very respectful and obedient man, whilst the second being 'apparently religious' but very disobedient, unfriendly and disrespectful. Who should the daughter be given in marriage to? Hadhrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi replied instantly that the person who was respectful should be given the daughter. The lesson given here is that it is easier to teach a 'human' the religion of Islam, but it is a much more difficult matter to make a person in to a 'human'. The person who was 'apparently religious' was in reality far from religion; his actions were contrary to the teachings of Islam. Whilst the person who was clean shaven was in actual fact closer to religion due to his behaviour and manners and for that person to become inclined towards religions is far easier and likely. Therefore, apparently being religious is not the sign of being religious and one should never mistake a person from their appearance, in fact not even entirely through their actsof worship.... / - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

1a. Salat-ul-Istikhara

1a. In brief, the scholar mentions that if one is to believe that thisprayer is that of guidance that it deems necessary to believe that Allah's guidance is always correct as He has complete knowledge. However, we see many a times that the confusion still remains after theprayer and therefore it means that the promise from Allah was not fulfilled and through Istikhara one did not achieve what one was promised; and it is impossible for Allah to command of something and then not have that order achieve its results. Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi recalls one pious saint from theShafi'ee group (which the author cannot recall) who mentioned an amazing insight about Salaat-ul-Istikhara. Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi, aftermentioning this scholar's amazing explanation, says himself that he is more inclined towards the Shafi'ee explanation of Istikhara and that this is the more correct opinion. Explanation With this view if we take into account the above issues and confusion that often occurs, the confusions still remaining and facing difficulties in the path the one took, we can say that Istikhara is a Du'aa and all Dua'aas are accepted by Allah but it is not necessary that it bein this world or immediately. Therefore, not receiving clarification would mean that Allah has accepted our Dua'aas (as He has promised to do so) but He has not answered it immediately, or that He will give us a greater reward for this supplication in the Hereafter. Similarly, if we face difficulties in a chosen path it could have the same explanation as above or that Allah will shortly give usgoodness in the matter we have chosen. Benefits of this Second View If one takes this second view into account then one will be able to make use of worldly means in able to make his decision and remove his confusion regarding the matter. Istikhara will be a supplication from Allah Ta'ala tohelp him in his decision and to give him goodness it whatever he chooses to do, whilst taking aid from the mediums will help resolve his confusion and assist him in making a decision. Conclusion We have been instructed by theProphet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam to perform the Istikhara prayer whenever we make decisions in our life, especially when we make some major decisions in life. Therefore, we should always make an effort to perform this prayer of Istikhara, whether we see it as a way in receiving guidance or whether we perform it as a supplication. Furthermore, we should alwaysuse the mediums that Allah has placed in this world to aid us with removing our confusions. The world has been referred to as “Darul Asbaab” (the place of mediums) and it is the wisdom of Allah that in order to acquire anything or even receive anything from Him we need to use the means and mediums that Allah has placed within thisworld. Finally, we should always trust in the decisions that we take through the guidance of Allah and those that we take after supplicating to Him; His mercy is infinite and though Allah mayshower His mercy with delay upon us, through His own wisdom, but He will surely guide us and aid us through those matters that we have taken with hope of His help andguidance. As the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam advised us in the final words ofthe Du'aa, "and make me content with it", we should remain content with the decision we took with trust in Allah. May Allah bless us with divine guidance from Himself and may He give us the understanding to make the correct decisions and may He put goodness in whatever He chooses for us to do. Aameen./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en