Marital Life, - Criteria for Choosing a Spouse

Religion
Among the many criteria in selecting a life partner, the foremost is
religion. Islam has established the importance of choosing a religious
wife for it is faith which protects a woman from committing anything
that is prohibited. A religious woman always keeps away from whatever
enrages Allaah The Almighty or dishonors her husband. On the other
hand, a corrupt woman, particularly one who takes extreme pride in her
beauty and wealth, does not adhere to the teachings of Islam and is
certainly prone to the devil's insinuations, who may trick her into
not adequately safeguarding her chastity or honor. Hence, Islam urges
men to prefer the religious woman and be meticulous in their search
for her in every Muslim household.
The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, pointed out the decisive
factors on which basis people choose a wife and guided us to what the
best is in that regard, when he said:"A woman is married for four
things: her wealth, her noble ancestry, her beauty and her religion.
So win the religious woman; )otherwise( you will be a
loser."]Al-Bukhaari[ This stresses that if we overlook the religious
aspect and pursue only attractiveness, riches or noble lineage, we
would lose out, indicating we did not aim high enough.
The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, even commanded us,
saying:"Do not marry women for their good looks, as their beauty might
destroy them; and do not marry them for their wealth as their riches
might lead them to be overbearing. Marry them for their religion; and
a black and unattractive maid who is religious, is better ]than them
both[."]Ibn Maajah[ Islam has not set a criterion that decides a
beauty queen, for even all men have not collectively agreed on the
beauty of a single woman. It has, however, stated that beauty in a
wife is indeed in the eye of her beholder husband. Hence, one must not
merely focus on a woman's looks, affluence or family, at the expense
of religion; indeed, as someone once said, beauty with an evil soul is
like a lantern on a Magi's grave.
However, if a pious woman also possesses good looks, wealth or a noble
lineage, then that is the most preferable, but even in that, religion
must be the decisive factor.
Our righteous predecessors were keen on selecting religious wives,
regardless of their looks and social or financial status. The
Commander of the Believers, 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be
pleased with him, was once so impressed by the pious daughter of a
woman who was a milk vendor, that he recommended his son 'Aasim, may
Allaah be pleased with him, to marry her. According to reliable
historians, 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, mentioned that had
he wanted to marry someone himself, it would have been her, as Imaam
Ibn Al-Jawzi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, narrates:"Ibn Zayd
narrated on the authority of the grandfather of Aslam that he said,
'Once I went with 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, while he was
on one of his night walks in Madeenah. He felt tired, so he leaned
against a wall and heard a woman telling her daughter to mix the milk
with water before selling it. The daughter told her that 'Umar, the
Commander of the believers, forbade that, but the mother insisted,
saying that she was in a place where 'Umar and his deputy could not
see her. However, the girl said, ']I swear[ by Allaah, I will not obey
him publicly and disobey him secretly.' The Commander of the
Believers, meanwhile, was hearing all this; he then looked at me and
instructed: 'O Aslam, mark this door.'' He continued on in his walk
and in the morning, he called me, and said, "O Aslam! Go to the house
that you marked and find out who the speakers were and see if there is
a man ]in the house[." I went there and discovered that they were an
unmarried girl and her mother, and that they lived together without
anyone else. I returned and told 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with
him. He called his sons and said to them, "Does any of you need a
wife? Had your father been capable of getting married, he would have
hastened to marry this woman. I wish that one of you would marry her.'
So, 'Aasim said, "O father! As you know, I have no wife, so ]I
believe[ I am more entitled to marry her." 'Umar sent someone to
propose to the milk seller's daughter on behalf of his son and the two
soon married. The young woman gave birth to a daughter who later
married 'Abdul-'Azeez ibn Marawaan; and this girl gave birth to the
fifth Rightly-Guided Caliph, 'Umar ibn 'Abdul-'Azeez, may Allaah have
mercy upon him."
Hence, the fruit of this noble marriage was the birth of a Caliph, who
was unprecedented in his justice and asceticism, and in popularity
among his subjects.
As for the particular characteristics of a righteous marriage
prospect, the best of mankind, the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, said, in a Hadeeth on the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah
be pleased with him:"Would you like me to tell you about the best
treasure a man could have? ]She is[ a righteous woman, who pleases him
when he looks at her, preserves his honor when he is away from her and
acts in accordance with what he asks of her."In another Hadeeth on the
authority of Abu Umaamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"The best that benefits a
believer, after ]possessing[ the fear of Allaah The Almighty, is a
pious wife who minds what he bids her, pleases him when he looks at
her, helps him fulfill his oath and protects her chastity and his
property in his absence."]Ibn Maajah[
Such a righteous, religious woman certainly exists. If the father head
of the household is pious himself, his daughters will be chaste and
religious, too.
Morals
The second criterion in selecting a wife, which is closely tied to the
first, is that she must possess good morals. Indeed, a truly religious
woman would have a good character, as her faith would prevent her from
evil in speech, whether through hurtful words or gossip, and actions.
Having good morals is a basic characteristic when in looking for a
wife, as the wise man Luqmaan rightly advised his son:"O son! Seek
refuge with Allaah The Almighty from an immoral woman, as she would
age you before your time. O son! Ask Allaah The Almighty to protect
you from the evil of women and to grant you the best of them. Endeavor
to find a righteous woman, so you can be happy for life."
Virginity
While not a requirement per se, Islam urges a Muslim to marry a virgin
only because men naturally prefer a woman who has never been with
anyone else before. Knowing their nature, the Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, asked Jaabir ibn 'Abdullaah, may Allaah be pleased
with him, after his marriage to a non-virgin woman:"Why did you not
marry a virgin who would play with you and you would play with
her?"Jaabir, may Allaah be pleased with him, told the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, that it was only because his
father had died and left his young sisters in his care, and that an
older, mature woman would be more capable of taking care of the house.
There is no doubt that a bride who is a virgin devotes all her love to
the one man who chose her from among countless women; and indeed, the
first love is true love. Also, since a virgin does not have experience
with men, she will devote all her affection to the only man who
married her.
Fertility
Once again, as a matter of a better )and not only( choice, Islam urges
the Muslim to marry fertile women, who are free from any disease that
prevents pregnancy, as may be determined by pre-marital checkups and
through consultation with specialist doctors. Further, if a potential
bride's mother, relatives and married sisters have children, then, it
is most likely that she is genetically predisposed to bearing
offspring, as well.
The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, forbade Muslims from
celibacy and ordered them to look for fertile women as spouses,
saying:"Marry affectionate and fertile women, as I will be proud of
your great number, among the Prophets on the Day of Judgment."]Abu
Daawood and An-Nasaa'i[ In another instance, a man came to the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, seeking his advice on whether
he should marry a woman who is beautiful but infertile. The
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"No."Then, he came to ask
the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, a second time, and he
forbade him again. After he came a third time, he,sallallaahu 'alayhi
wa sallam, said,"Marry the affectionate and fertile women as I shall
outnumber people by you )on the Day of Judgment(."]Abu Daawood and
An-Nasaa'i[
Closeness in culture and age
Homogeneity in marriage, according to Islamic jurisprudence, is in
choosing a wife that is close to the man in age, culture and family
background. This is because due to similar standards, the harmony of
marital life may be maintained in a like-minded couple.
However, scholars have different opinions in this regard; some of them
say that this is necessary, basing their stance on some Hadeeth of the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, such as the one where he
said:"Choose for your semen )i.e., children(; marry suitable people
]to each other[ and get married to suitable partners."]Ibn Maajah[
However, some scholars disagree, saying this cannot stand as proof, as
all Muslims are competent for each other. There are Hadeeths that
support this opinion, such as the one narrated by Al-Bukhaari, may
Allaah have mercy upon him, in which Sahl, may Allaah be pleased with
him, relates that the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallamasked them
about a man that passed by them. The people said:"He is worthy of
being accepted when he proposes for marriage, of his intercession
being given consideration and being listened to when he speaks." After
that, one of the poor Muslims passed by them and the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, asked them about him, whereupon
they remarked: "He is not worthy of being accepted when he proposes or
intercedes, or of being listened to when he speaks." The
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, then stated:"The latter is
better than many men like the former", apparently on the basis of his
religion and morals.

Marital Life, - A Hidden Treasure: An Insightful and Bashful Wife

Ibn Mas'ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,"The most insightful
of people were three persons: the companion of Yoosuf )Joseph(, may
Allaah exalt his mention, when he said to his wife:}Make his residence
comfortable.{]Quran 12:21[;the wife of Moosa )Moses(, may Allaah exalt
his mention, when she said:}O my father, hire him.{]Quran 28:26[;and
Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, when he assigned 'Umar, may
Allaah be pleased with him, as his successor."
What made Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, move from Egypt to
Madyan in the south of Palestine to marry the daughter of the
righteous man and to look after his sheep for ten years?
Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, lived in Egypt, and one day while
he was walking down a street, he saw two men fighting each other --
one of them was from his own people, namely the Children of Israel;
and the other belonged to the family of Pharaoh. The Egyptian man
wanted to force the Israeli man to do some work for him. As the latter
sought help from Moosa, he )Moosa(, may Allaah exalt his mention,
pushed the Egyptian man who died on the spot. Allaah The Almighty Says
)what means(:}And he entered the city at a time of inattention by its
people and found therein two men fighting: one from his faction and
one from among his enemy. And the one from his faction called for help
to him against the one from his enemy, so Moosa )Moses( struck him and
]unintentionally[ killed him. ]Moses[ said, "This is from the work of
Satan. Indeed, he is a manifest, misleading enemy."{]Quran 28:15[
On the following day, the Israeli man quarreled with another man and
sought help from Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, once again, who
said to him,"Indeed, you are a persistent deviator."Therefore, the man
from Bani Israa'eel feared him and disclosed the secret by saying,"Do
you intend to kill me as you killed a man yesterday?"Thus, Pharaoh and
his soldiers knew that it was Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, who
had killed the Egyptian man. However, a man came from the farthest end
of the city and warned Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, who left
Egypt immediately and invoked forgiveness from Allaah The Almighty,
saying,}"My Lord, indeed I have wronged myself, so forgive me," and He
forgave him. Indeed, He is The Forgiving, The Merciful.{]Quran 28:16[
Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, left Egypt and moved from one
place to another until he arrived at Madyan in the south of Palestine.
He sat next to a well and saw something that did not appeal to him.
While the shepherds were busy watering their cattle from the well, two
women stood nearby and were prevented from approaching the well with
their sheep, since they were too shy to join the throng of men. Moosa,
may Allaah exalt his mention, was impressed by the scene, for he
thought that the two women should have been allowed to water their
sheep first, given access and helped by the men.
Hence, he went over to the spot and asked them what the matter was,
and they told him that they could not water their sheep until the men
had finished watering their cattle first. They said their father was
so old that he could not water the sheep himself. With the chivalry
that is expected on the part of righteous men, Moosa, may Allaah exalt
his mention, stepped forward and joined the crowd of shepherds to
water the women's sheep for them. Then he moved to seek shelter under
a shady tree and privately addressed his Lord,}"My Lord, indeed I am,
for whatever good You would send down to me, in need."{]Quran 28:24[
The two young women returned to their father, who was amazed at their
speedy return, since they used to stay for a long time to water their
sheep. When he asked them how they had come back so quickly, they told
him the story of the strong man who had watered the sheep for them and
did them that favor without knowing who they were or charging them a
wage for his service; doing so out of chivalry and graciousness.
The father asked one of his daughters to summon that man. Hence, one
of them went to him, walking shyly, to convey to him the invitation of
her father,}Indeed, my father invites you that he may reward you for
having watered for us.{]Quran 28:25[Moosa, may Allaah exalt his
mention, accepted the invitation and when he reached the old man and
narrated his story to him, the old man reassured him by saying,}Fear
not. You have escaped from the wrongdoing people.{]Quran 28:25[
At which time, one of the two young women, driven by her good insight
and sound disposition, proposed to her father something that was
useful for them and for Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, by
saying,}O my father, hire him. Indeed, the best one you can hire is
the strong and the trustworthy.{]Quran 28:26[She and her sister had to
do a tiresome job grazing the sheep, and they sought concealment by
avoiding strange men in pastures and over the well, for women who have
chaste souls are not pleased with gathering with men. Also, Moosa, may
Allaah exalt his mention, was powerful and honest enough to be
qualified to undertake the task. The young woman offered her point of
view with full clarity, fearing nothing, for she was innocent in the
spirit and delicate in her senses.
The old man was convinced of the reasons that his daughter provided
regarding the suitability of Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, to
work for them and to become related to the man through marriage, so he
said to him,}"Indeed, I wish to wed you one of these, my two
daughters, on ]the condition[ that you serve me for eight years; but
if you complete ten, it will be ]as a favor[ from you. And I do not
wish to put you in difficulty. You will find me, if Allaah wills, from
among the righteous." Moosa ]Moses[ said, "That is ]established[
between me and you. Whichever of the two terms I complete, there is no
injustice to me, and Allaah, over what we say, is witness."{]Quran
28:27-28[
When Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, fulfilled the term by having
worked ten years for his father-in-law, he wanted to leave to Egypt,
and the old man agreed to that and wished him the best. Hence, he left
with his wife and took with him the sheep that the old man gave him,
and walked from Madyan to Egypt.
Thus, Moosa's wife, may Allaah be pleased with her, was a good example
of a believer who was insightful and bashful and a role model in
choosing an honest and chaste husband.

Marital Life, - Obeying the Husband is the Key to Paradise

The IslamicSharee'ahstresses that the wife is under the obligation of
obeying her husband. This remains unless he commands her to disobey
Allaah The Exalted. She is required to obey him and exert her utmost
effort to fulfill his needs in a way that makes him satisfied and
thankful. This is supported by theHadeethwhere the Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"If the woman performs the five daily prayers,
fasts the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her
husband, she will enter the Paradise of her Lord."Likewise, Allaah The
Exalted Says )what means(:}But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no
means against them.{]Quran 4:34[ Moreover, the Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Were I to order anyone to prostrate himself
before anyone else, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate
herself before her husband."
Obedience is the first right that Islam acknowledges for the husband
over his wife. She is required to obey him in everything unless he
commands her to do an act of disobedience. The Prophet,sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"No creature should be obeyed when it comes to
disobeying the Creator."
Consequently, she is required to obey him when he commands, fulfill
his request when he orders, abstain when he forbids and respond when
he advises. If he commands her not to allow a certain person, whether
he is a relative or not, aMahramor non-Mahram, to enter his home when
he is absent, she is required to obey him. The Messenger of
Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Indeed, you have a right
over your wives, and your wives have a right over you. As for the
right that you have over them, it is to disallow anyone whom you
dislike to enter your houses."
Obeying the Husband is Equal to Jihaad
There are manySharee'ahtexts indicating the greatness of the husband's
right over his wife. In aHadeethon the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas, may
Allaah be pleased with him, it was mentioned that a woman came to the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and said, "O Messenger of
Allaah, I am a delegate ]from a group of[ women and there are none of
them, whether she knows or does not know that I would come to you,
except she would want me to come to you. Allaah The Almighty is the
Lord of both men and women and their God, and you are the Messenger of
Allaah, for both men and women. Allaah has prescribed Jihaad for men
only; if they are victorious, their reward is great, and if they die
as martyrs, they are alive with their Lord, receiving sustenance. ]For
women[, which act of obedience is equal in reward to this?"The
Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, replied:"Obeying
their husbands and )being aware of and( fulfilling their rights; and
few of you do that."]At-Tabaraani and 'Abdul-Raaziq[ Here, the
Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, equated the reward
of makingJihaadto that of the wife obeying her husband.
Obedient Wives
The wife who knows her religious duties towards her husband is fully
aware of the importance of obeying her husband. Mrs. Maha Jaabir says,
"In order to provide the family with an atmosphere of security,
protection, stability and affection, the wife is required to obey her
husband in everything that is useful and beneficial. This would help
to create sound humans who would go through life far removed from
disturbances or imbalances. In return, Islam gave the woman her full
right and made it obligatory on the husband to honor his wife,
safeguard her rights and provide an honorable life for her in order to
be obedient and loving."
Mrs. Muna Al-Mu'aththin says,
If it is obligatory on the wife to obey her husband, this is only
because he bears the responsibility and she is subordinate to him. He
is a caretaker of his home and responsible for those who are under his
charge. Moreover, he is supposed to be more insightful and more
open-minded, and to know things that the wife does not know because of
his wide circle of acquaintances and his wide experience that enables
him to see what his wife does not. The wise wife is the one who obeys
her husband, fulfills his commands and responds to his opinions and
advice willingly and sincerely. If she finds something wrong in him,
from her point of view, she exchanges views with him and guides him to
his mistake with leniency, kindness and conviction. Calmness and soft
words work like magic.
The disease of conceit and arrogance may cripple a woman's heart. In
this respect, Mrs. 'Abeer Murshid says, "If such a disease reaches the
heart of the woman, it would be a great disaster. The marital
relationship would be threatened with the most dangerous type of
disputes and quarrels. The man is in charge of the family by virtue of
the role that Allaah The Almighty has granted him. If the wife tries
to change the Creation of Allaah and His norms, this would afflict her
with the most harmful consequences."
Describing the way that she treats her husband, Mrs. Leena Al-Ghadhbaan says,
If my husband calls me to obey Allaah The Exalted and the Messenger of
Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, I respond to his call without
annoyance because this is the way to salvation and forgiveness. If he
asks me to wear decent clothes and adhere toHijaab, I obey his command
because this is the way to attain success and the satisfaction of
Allaah The Almighty. I do not care about the customs of the community
as Allaah The Exalted Says )what means(:}And if you obey most of those
upon the earth, they will mislead you from the Way of Allaah.{]Quran
6:116[ If he asks me to be moderate regarding home expenses, I respond
with my heart and with love and faithfulness. These are the
foundations of marital life that Allaah The Exalted Has established on
affection and mercy. I know that when my husband gets angry at
anything I might have done after advising and directing me, this may
entails the Anger of Allaah The Exalted.
Mrs. Khadeejah Hijaazi says,
One may find obedience a heavy burden; however, the wife is rewarded
according to the extent of her readiness to be obedient and her
sincerity in fulfilling the obligations of such obedience. The
Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, praised women and
clarified that the services they perform and the sacrifices they make
in terms of their emotions and energies can be made by no one else.
They were created to perform a sublime and important duty, and in
return Allaah The Exalted Has prepared a great reward for them. This
reward would not be completed except with the wife's obedience to her
husband, satisfying him and avoiding what he dislikes.
Mrs. Hanaa' As-Saalih says, "The man is in charge of the family. He
takes care of it and observes the morals of its members and its
affairs. Hence, all the members of the family are required to obey
him. He is charged with the burdens of the family and working to
provide for it and fulfill its needs. In this way, the family is
organized on the basis that there is a caretaker and a commander, on
one hand, and subjects who listen and obey on the other."
Limits of Obedience
However, the obedience that is obligatory on the wife to her husband
is not blind obedience or obedience without restrictions, conditions
or limits. Rather, it is the obedience of the righteous wife to the
righteous and pious husband whose personality she trusts and believes
in his sincerity and righteousness. Obedience that is based on
consultation and mutual understanding promotes the entity of the
family and its conditions and reinforces its foundations and strength.
The spouses are advised to consult each other with regard to all
family affairs. Indeed, there is no consultant better than a faithful
and truthful wife. She supports her husband, guides him with her
emotions, protects him with her instinct and provides him with her
opinion. The Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, would
consult his wives and follow their opinion in important matters. He
consulted his wife, Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, in a
most critical situation. Her consultation and wise opinion were
important in putting an end to that crisis and returning matters to
normality.
Finally, we find that Islam has organized the rights of spouses in
such a way that if each of them perfectly fulfills the other's rights,
he, as well as those around him, will live in a state of happiness.
However, if one of them misuses this right, the marital life will fail
as it is a partnership between the spouses. Islam acknowledges the
rights of the wife over her husband just as it acknowledges the
husband's rights over his wife. Additionally, it has clarified the
duties of each. If both of them follow the instructions and each of
them knows his Islamic rights and duties, the family will live happily
and will be encompassed by tranquility and the mercy of Allaah The
Almighty.

Soul Purification, - Indeed, It Was the First Night in My Life!

I was moving restlessly on my bed that night; I could not sleep as I
was extremely terrified for no obvious reason. It was four in the
morning and I was overwhelmed with fear and everything was dim and
dark in my eyes. I started reciting the Surahs of the Noble Quran that
I had to memorize. I have memorized many of them, yet I have forgotten
most of them as I did not revise them continually. I closed my eyes
and started recalling what I memorize from the verses of the Noble
Quran; I felt a little bit calm, yet fear was still in the air.
Strangely enough, I started seeing my whole life flash before my eyes.
I recalled my childhood, my sins while I was growing up, and the
prayers that I have often, and maybe always, performed lazily.
Moreover, I started remembering my friend and how we used to meet,
play, and have fun together, never thinking of death! I recalled how
my friend left her house one day, but never came back. She passed away
in a car accident! Then, I started thinking of what I would say to the
Angel of death when he comes to claim my soul; am I ready for death?
Am I ready to meet my Lord? Have I done enough good deeds to enter
Paradise? Would I be among the dwellers of Paradise or the residents
of Hellfire? No, I will definitely, be among the inhabitants of
Paradise, Allaah willing, but what did I do to earn that honor? Are my
deeds enough to get me into Paradise? What did I do to be among the
dwellers of Paradise? Would yelling and shouting at my mother get me
into Paradise? Are backbiting and tale-bearing the kind of deeds that
would get me into Paradise? Am I going to be granted Paradise for not
adhering to the due Hijaab or for my impermissible exposure of my
adornments and beauty? Is Paradise the abode of those who watch
impermissible films and listen to immoral songs? I have always felt
shy to let people sit with me while watching such immoral movies and
songs, yet I have never felt bashful of Allaah The Almighty!
I was silent for some seconds, and then continued my monologue. I
started thinking that I was still, certainly, better than many other
impious people. Then,I started recalling those devout young girls whom
I used to meet in the mosque and how each of them was willing to fight
the whole universe and sacrifice her life and not expose a single lock
of her hair before strangers! Who am I compared to them? Have I made
an agreement with Allaah The Exalted to grant me the chance to repent
before death? Have I made an accord with Allaah The Exalted that I
would not die now or tomorrow? Has Allaah The Almighty promised to
forgive me and admit me to Paradise?
Frightened as I was at these moments, I stood up, shaking out of fear
with frozen tears in my eyes. I headed towards the bathroom, preformed
ablution and stood to perform prayers. I was literally shivering and
shaking all over.
Strangely enough, I found myself shedding tears and crying out of fear
for the first time in my life. It was the first time in my life to cry
like that for something other than the usual worldly affairs and
insignificant trivialities. In fact, I used to cry my eyes out for
missing the chance to commit a sin! Moreover, I also used to cry my
heart out when hearing a love song that moves me, yet it is a mere
Satanic whispering. Alas, I have cried for the most trivial reasons,
yet I have never cried while pondering over the Noble Quran, being
moved with the Words of Allaah that He rendered a remedy and mercy for
us!
Indeed, I have gone astray; I have been inattentive, my feelings have
been numbed and I have been swimming against the tide, yet, here I am
sobbing ad crying my heart out, because of fear of Allaah The
Almighty, lamenting and bemoaning my past sins that I committed
carelessly thinking that they were not that grave. Allaah The Exalted
Says )what means(:}…and thought it was insignificant while it was, in
the Sight of Allaah, tremendous."{]Quran 24:15[
What a great difference between those tears!
No one would believe how much I was moved by the meanings of the
verses that I read that night. It was as if I was reciting them for
the first time in my life, although I used to recite them often in my
prayers! I prostrated myself before Allaah The Exalted for a very long
time. I did not feel the passage of time then, yet the only feeling
that was haunting and absorbing me was the sense of humbleness and
grandeur of being in the Presence of Allaah The Almighty, my Lord and
Creator. I kept supplicating, imploring Allaah The Exalted to forgive
my sins and pardon my misdeeds, thanking and praising Him that I
literally felt the grandeur of His presence. I could not believe what
I was saying back then; I was beseeching Him with supplications that I
never knew I had memorized. I felt as if my heart was imploring Allaah
The Exalted! I finished the prayer and then started remembering my
past sins; then, I started contemplating my own body; how do my hands
move? How does my heart throb? How do my eyes, ears and feet function?
Then, I started pondering over everything around me; how can a tiny
seed grow and become a huge tree? I started thinking; where I have
been all those past years? Have I been inattentive and heedless for
all this time? Have I not felt the grandeur of His presence, although
He was so close to me?
I really felt the Grandeur of Allaah The Exalted at that moment. How
could one overlook and fail to notice such Grandeur? How can a human
being be that ungrateful to his Lord? His Creator bestows upon him so
many blessings and grants him sustenance, in spite of man's continuous
misdeeds and sins, while the human neglects to be grateful, and praise
and pray to Him. In fact, Allaah The Exalted does not deprive the
sinners of sustenance and blessings because of their sins.
Moreover, Allaah The Exalted increases one's sustenance, while this
ungrateful creature increases his sins! How strange this is! Allaah
The Exalted asks His slaves to repent to Him, promising to Pardon all
their misdeeds, and replace them with good deeds, yet man would not
settle for that great deal! How is it that one refuses such a golden
opportunity? How can he say no to such a proposal? Does this creature
not know that he would die one day? Does he not remember that death is
his inescapable fate? How many years could he possibly live? Seventy,
eighty, even one hundred years; and then what? Indeed, he would die
and be buried beneath the ground ]in the dust[. Who would keep company
with him in the darkness of his grave? Who would reassure him and
relieve his worry and fear then? Who would be there for him? Who would
shield him against the punishment in the grave? Where will be his
formative actors and singers then? Where will be his friends with whom
he spent his good times in this life? Where will be his family who has
neglected him? Who would be with him on that day?
I heard the call for the Fajr Prayer; I performed the payer and sat
down to recite the Noble Quran for the first time after the last month
of Ramadan or the one before it! I kept reciting the verses of the
Noble Quran until sunrise of shortly after; and then, I went to bed.
My heart was filled with bliss and tranquility; I was happy and calm
as I wiped away my tears as if I was wiping away my sins. I felt that
my sins were washed with my tears; those tears were washing my heart
from all the stains, relieving my worries and fear. By Allaah, I have
never felt this way before; it was a unique bliss that I have never
experienced before in my entire life. I kept repeating the verse that
reads )what means(:}Those who have believed and whose hearts are
assured by the Remembrance of Allaah.
Unquestionably, by the Remembrance of Allaah hearts are assured.{]Quran 13:28[
At last, I closed my eyes, and fell into a deep sleep. I slept like a
baby and relished the sweetness of deep sleep for the first time in my
life; as if I had not slept for the past nineteen years of my life!