Why an authoritarian rule is against Islam

Forcing people to believe in a religion or to adopt its forms of
belief is completely contrary to the essence and spirit of Islam. That
is because according to Islam, true faith is only possible with free
will and freedom of conscience.
In the contemporary world, there are people who envisage or
supportauthoritarianism in the name of Islam. However this is a great
misconception. Islam is areligion which provides and guarantees
freedomof ideas, thought and life. It has issued commands to prevent
and forbid tension, disputes, slander and even negative thinking among
people. In the same way that it is determinedly opposed to terrorism
and all acts of violence, it has also forbidden even the slightest
ideological pressure to be put on them:
There is no compulsion in religion. True guidance has become clearly
distinct from error.(Surat al-Baqara: 256)
So remind them! You areonly a reminder. You arenot in control of
them.(Surat al -Ghashiyya: 21-22)
Forcing people to believe in a religion or to adopt its forms of
belief is completely contrary to the essence and spirit of Islam. That
is because according to Islam, true faith is only possible with free
will and freedom of conscience. Of course, Muslims can advise and
encourage each other about the features of Qur'anic morality. All
believers are charged with explaining Qur'anicmorality to people in
thenicest manner possible. They will explain the beauties of religion
in the light of the verse,"Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom
and fair admonition..."(Suratan-Nahl: 125), however, they must also
bear in mind the verse,"You are not responsible for their guidance,
but God guides whoever He wills."(Surat al-Baqara: 272)
Thus true Muslims will never resort to compulsion, nor any kind of
physical or psychological pressure. Neither will they use anyworldly
privilege to turn someone towards religion. When they receive a
negative response to what they say, Muslims will reply along the lines
of:"To you your religion, and tome, mine"(Surat al- Al-Kafirun: 6)
The world we live in contains societies with all kinds of beliefs:
Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, atheist, deist and even pagan.
Muslims living in such a world must be tolerant of all beliefs they
come up against, no matter what they may be, and behave forgivingly,
justly and humanely. This responsibility placed on believers invites
people to the beauty of the religion of God by means of peace and
tolerance. The decision whether or not to implement these truths,
whether or not tobelieve, lies with the other party. Forcing that
person to believe, or trying to impose anything on him, is a violation
of Qur'anic morality. In fact, God issues a reminder to believers in
the Qur'an:
If your Lord had willed, all the people on the earth would have
believed. Do you think you can force people to be believers?(Surat
Yunus: 99)
We know best what theysay and you [O Muhammad] are not a compeller
over them. But warn by the Qur'an whoever fears My warning.(Surat Qaf:
45)
A model of society in which people are forced to worship is a complete
contradiction to Islam. Belief and worship are only of any value when
they are directed to God by the free will of the individual. If a
system imposes belief and worship on people, thenthey will become
religious out of fear of that system. From the religious point of
view, what really counts is thatreligion should be lived for God's
good pleasure in an environment where peoples' consciences are totally
free.
When we look at the history of Islam, the way that Muslims have
translated this importantfeature of Qur'anic morality into the life of
society can be seen quiteclearly. Since the Prophet Muhammed, true
Muslims have always brought with them an atmosphere of freedom and
tolerance wherever they have gone. They have enabledpeople whose
religions, languages and cultures are completely different from one
another to live together in peace and harmony under one roof, and
provided peace and harmony for its own members. One ofthe most
important reasons for the centuries-long existence of the Ottoman
Empire, which spread over an enormous region, was the atmosphere of
tolerance and understanding that Islam brought with it. Within this
multi-national structure, all ethnic and religious groups have been
free to live according to theirown religions, and their own rules.
Barbarism in the name of religion, that is so preoccupying the world
at present, is the work ofignorant and fanatical people, completely
estranged from Qur'anic morality, and who have absolutely nothing to
dowith religion. The solution to these people and groups who try to
carry out their savagery under the mask of religion is the teaching of
true Qur'anic morality.
Islam and Qur'anic morality are solutions to the scourge of bigotry,
barbarism and terrorism,not supporters of it.

The pleasant conversations of believers

The believers don't seek such goals of their lower selves as to put
themselves in the forefront or have the final say. Therefore they
have a reasonable, calm manner. Out of their understanding of
courtesy based on their commitment to the Quran's moral values,
they always allow others to be in the forefront, try to benefit from
what others say and refrain from acting in an ignorant fashion.
Their conversations are sincere and honest. Since believers consult
each other in everything they do, everyone's opinions count. The
believers stay away from proud and stubborn actions such as 'my ideas
are better'. A believer is always aware of the fact that someone
else might know better. For these reasons, these good conversations
help believers gain a stronger faith, think deeper, comprehend
things better and ponder more on the signs leading to faith.
Conversations are actually very good opportunities to get to know
the people, benefit from their ideas and thoughts. The emotions,
thoughts, desires as well as their mistakes reflect on their talks.
The tone is an important indicator to tell a deep believer apart
from a person with low moral qualities. Because a believer, out of
his firm fear of Allah, never makes the person he is talking to
uncomfortable. His speech is sincere, wise, inspires confidence,
courteous, reasonable, humble and positive. He carefully avoids void
and unnecessary conversations that could lead people to pessimism,
despair and conflicts.
What is "Wisdom"?
The word 'wisdom' has a wide meaning which can be summarized as
'putting things in the perfect way possible both in speech and
manners, concisely speaking, yet with immense meaning, and the deep
understanding capacity that Allah bestowed on His Prophets and holy
servants'. Islamic scholars defined wisdom in many ways, but the
majority agrees on the following:
"Wisdom is beneficial knowledge and sincere actions." (Elmalili M.
Hamdi Yazir, True Religion, Language of the Quran I, 915)
So, talking wisely should be understood as beneficial, concise, true,
essential talks done at the right time and at the right place.
The conversations of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) are the best examples
of conversations
A believer, even if he has knowledge of the subject discussed, thinks
of the possibility that other person might know that subject as
well, and therefore listens to his brothers and sisters with
interest and courtesy. This superior moral value of believers comes
from the fact that they follow Quran's verses, and look up to the
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) in everything they do. Imam Gazali,
describes the conversations of the Prophet Mohammad as follows,
based on the hadiths:
"...He would pay compliment to everyone present at his sight.
Therefore, everyone would get the idea that they were the most
merited there. The way he sat, listened, his words, beautiful
compliments were only for the people that sat at his presence. But
his gatherings were places of respect, humility and safety… He
would call his companions with their appellation to compliment them
and if any of them didn't have appellation, they would find
appellation for them and address them so…" ( Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, , Ihya Ulum-id-din ,, 2. cilt, Çeviri: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle,
Huzur Yayın Evi, 1998, s.798)
Aisha (ra) explains the words of the Prophet Muhammad (saas) on how
a Muslim should talk:
" When he talked, his words didn't come in a rapid succession like
yours do, he would talk little but in a concise way. But you keep on
adding new sentences." ( Al Fawaid, Hujjat- ul-Islam, Imam Ghazzali,
Ihya Ulum-id-din, vol.2, Translation: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle, Huzur
Publishing House, Istanbul 1998, s. 800)
"The Messenger of Allah, the Prophet Mohammad (saas) talked very
concisely (with short, concise words, which convey lots of meanings.
His short sentences would give the message he intended, he never
said less or more than exactly what is needed. His words followed
each other in a harmonic way, he would pause between sentences,
making sure that his listeners understood and memorized what he
said. He had a strong and pleasant voice. He talked when necessary
and always told the truth." (Abu Dawud, , Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, Ihya Ulum-id- din, 2. cilt, Çeviri: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle, Huzur
Yayınevi, İstanbul 1998, s. 800)
"When he paused, the people in his presence started talking. No one
would argue in his presence." (Tirmidhi; Hujjat-ul-Islam, Imam
Ghazzali, , Ihya Ulum-id-din , vol.2, Translation: Dr. Sıtkı Gülle,
Huzur Publishing House, Istanbul 1998, s. 800)
"He was very genial, he always smiled at the Companions, liked what
they said, listened to them very carefully and considered himself to
be one of them as well." (a.g.e.)
"He gives wisdom to whoever He wills and he who has been given
wisdom has been given great good. But no one pays heed but people of
intelligence ..." (Surat al-Baqara, 269)
As the verse states, not only Prophets but ordinary people can be
wise as well. All believers- women and men- can ask our Lord to
grant them such a blessing.
The believers are aware of the huge blessing in wisdom, and ask
Allah to grant them 'wisdom, eloquence and articulateness. Allah
gives the Prophet Abraham's (pbuh) prayer as an example to believers
in the Quran:
" My Lord, give me right judgement and unite me with the righteous;
and make me highly esteemed among the later peoples; ." (Surat
ash-Shu'ara, 83-84)

According to Quran's moral values, the importance of allowing others to have the final say

Almighty Allah ordered believers preach their religion to others as
well. Therefore, telling the existence, oneness and greatness of
Allah and inviting them to live by the Quran values, is a great
blessing and a very important worship for Muslims. For this reason,
believers remember Allah, always say the best of the words, preach
the message of Islam, enjoin the good, and forbid the bad. However,
they avoid turning conversations into a monologue, without
allowing anyone else to speak, as they know this is not the attitude
preached by Quran's moral values.
Allah states in the following verse that everything everyone says
are recorded:
" No indeed! We will write down what he says and prolong the
punishment for him. We will inherit from him the things he is talking
about and he will come to Us all alone." (Surah Maryam, 79-80)
Therefore people are responsible for every idea and thought they
have, everything they do, just like everything they say and they
will be treated accordingly in the hereafter. For this reason the
goal of a person must be avoiding to say a word that could make him
ashamed and repent at the Sight of Allah.
Those who are aware of this important truth revealed by our Lord in
the Quran and who live by these good moral values, are no doubt the
'believers'. The believers, spend all their lives to gain the
pleasure of Allah. Everything they do, every decision they make,
their actions, behaviors are all intended to please Allah. The same
thing goes for their speeches, conversations and tone. The
believers, in pursuit of Allah's pleasure, will speak only if what
he is going to say, will make a positive contribution to the person
he is talking to. They never seek to draw attention, show off their
knowledge when they are speaking to someone. Sometimes they don't
talk at all, and just listen. And sometimes it might be just a
couple of sentences that is needed to convey his opinion and chooses
to benefit from the ideas of the other person instead. However,
some people use a far different style of speech other than the one
based the Quran's moral values.
The mistakes that prevent a conversation from being a wise one
The believers will only speak for Allah's pleasure, and only if that
speech is going to make a positive impact on the person he is
speaking to. He doesn't seek to be on the forefront. However, many
people just try to be one in the spotlight, making all the talk,
acting with an attitude of 'I know the best, so I have to talk the
most'. Some of these undesired qualities can be listed as follows:
never listening to anyone, and interrupting others, usually talking
with a loud voice. This way these people think that they can make
others listen to them and gain their respect. They never hesitate to
shout in attempts to show how right they are, or to deter, convince
or silence others. However Muslims talk with a reasonable level of
voice. Allah shows the Prophet Luqman (pbuh) as an example to
believers. The Prophet Luqman (pbuh) advises his son as follows:
Be moderate in your tread and lower your voice. The most hateful of
voices is the donkey's bray . (Surah Luqman, 19)
These people don't ever think of listening to others or benefitting
from their ideas. According to them, turning conversations into a
one-man conference is an achievement, makes them superior,
therefore they never imagine that it could disturb other people.
According to them, it is not possible for others to have more
knowledge in a subject or put it in a more clever way. This is an
attitude the believers must refrain from strictly. Our Lord states
as follows:
... We raise the rank of anyone We will. Over everyone with
knowledge is a Knower. (Surah Yusuf, 76)
People with the 'I know the best' attitude, usually try to give the
appearance of being the smartest, wisest and most knowledgeable
person around. They don't need deep knowledge or expertise to act
like that, it could be something everyone knows, or that they only
know of superficially, or that they heard from others. In every
opportunity, they try to prove their so-called knowledge and
experience to people around them. Just like it is the case in many
other bad habits, the source of 'I know the best' attitude comes from
the inner self, the enemy of wisdom and common sense.
Listening to a speaking person courteously without interrupting is a
good attitude, which will hopefully be a means for Allah's
pleasure. Such behavior will also be an indication of respect to the
speaker. However, people away from Quran's moral values, usually
don't listen to others, and even interrupt or talk at the same
time. This is especially common on debate programs on TVs. Even
well-educated people that are expected to behave in a more proper
way, can be very impolite and uncivil. Such people, instead of
trying to benefit from what is explained, just strive to make others
listen to them and concede defeat.
Making long sentences during conversations is another attitude that
usually makes others uncomfortable. Usually, one is expected to
pause between sentences and ask the opinions of others. If another
person starts speaking too, he also must avoid repeating the
sentences, and make long sentences. Also, changing the subject and
starting to talk about something else while someone is still trying
to say something are other actions that must be abstained from.
Believers, out of courtesy, listen to the speaker while looking in
the face of that person, not force anyone to listen, especially if
that person is trying to leave.
Listening to a speaking person courteously without interrupting is a
good attitude, which will hopefully be a means for Allah's
pleasure. Such behavior will also be an indication of respect to the
speaker.
It is of course very natural for a specialized person to talk, in an
area that requires expertise. However, everyone should join in so
that everyone can express their opinions and ideas. This will make
sure that everyone's opinions are learned, and it also gives the
opportunity to have an idea about people's personality. Thoughts
such as 'he knows less than I do, so he shouldn't talk' or 'only
those ones with knowledge should talk' are wrong. Maybe someone has
less technical knowledge compared to others, but one who has been
given wisdom by Allah, may come to realize aspects of the subject
that others are unknown to others. Or perhaps the person that knows
all the details about the subject got drowned in details and missed
the big picture. For these reasons, it is significant that every
person that is participating in a conversation, expresses their
ideas so that new ideas and points of view are known.
The Prophet Mohammad (saas) also drew attention to unnecessary
conversations which don't include praising Allah in one hadith:
Ibn Umar (RA) narrates:
"The Prophet Mohammad (saas) said: "Don't talk too much other than
for praising Allah. Because talking too much other than talking
about Allah, will make the heart gloomy (hard). Know that, one that
is farthest from Allah is who has a gloomy heart."(Tirmidhi, Zuhd
62, (2413). (5891)

Story, - He doesn’t even consider kis ...

I am married for two years now and I am already used to the impatience
of my husband, every time we go to bed he wants to make wild sex (Ok,
not every day, but 3-4 times aweek). But after it's over he totally
loses interest inme – he immediately turns to the other side and falls
deeply asleep.
He is not as kind as to kissme, or caress me – he falls asleep in his
half of the bed, as if I don't exist.And this gets from bad to worse
for me.
I am asking myself " Does he need me at all – or he simply needs the
sexual satisfaction?"
I bury my head in the pillow and cry silently.
Sometimes he notices that I cry and opens his eyes in surprise – " Why
are you crying now? What is wrong again? " – and that's all.
I tried a couple of times to shorten the distance inbed after the
sexual act, to show him that I need caress and tenderness.
But nothing worked – "Go to sleep, I am tired, I need to get up early
in the morning cause I havean important meeting" – that would be his
way of turning down my attempts to show him that I need him after sex.
I don't know what to do?
I am afraid to tell it straight forward...
I don't want tenderness that is obtained by begging!