Dought & clear, - The bid’ah of superstition about getting married in Shawwaal

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Is what people say about avoiding getting married in Shawwaal correct?
Praise be to Allaah.
Ibn Mandhour said: “Shawwaal is one of the well known names of months, the name of the month which follows Ramadaan and is the first of the months of Hajj.”
It was said that it was called after the drying up of the camels’ milk (tashweel), when it becomes scanty. This is what happens to the camels when the heat becomes intense and there are no longer any dates on the palm trees… The Arabs were superstitious about getting married at that time, and they would say that the bride would keep away from her groom like the female camel when she has been impregnated and lifted (shaalat) her tail. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) declared their superstition to be false. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married me in Shawwaal and consummated the marriage with me in Shawwaal, and which of his wives was more favoured by him than me?”
(Narrated by Ahmad inal-Musnad, 6/54; this version narrated by him. Also narrated by Muslim in hisSaheeh, 2/1039,Kitaab al-Nikaah, hadeeth no. 1423. Also narrated al-Tirmidhi in hisSunan, 2/277,Abwaab al-Nikaah, hadeeth no. 1099; he said it is asaheeh hasanhadeeth. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i in hisSunan, 6/70,Kitaab al-Nikaah,Baab al-Tazweej fi Shawwaal. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah in hisSunan, 1/641,Kitaab al-Nikaah, hadeeth no. 1990. (Lisaan al-‘Arab, 11/277, headingShawwaal).
The reason why the Arabs of the Jaahiliyyah were so superstitious about marrying during Shawwaal was that they believed that a woman would keep away from her husband like the she-camel that has lifted (shawwalat) its tail after being impregnated keeps away from the he-camel.
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) consummated his marriage with ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) during Shawwaal was a refutation of the notions that some people held, that it was disliked to consummate a marriage between the two Eids, lest that lead to separation of the spouses. But that was a false notion.” (al-Bidaayah wa’l-Nihaayah, 3/253)
Being superstitious about getting married in Shawwaal is the matter of falsehood, because superstition in general is part of the “evil omen” (tiyarah) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade when he said, “There is no contagion and no evil omen.” (Sharh Saheeh Muslim li’l-Nawawi, 14/219, 218). And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
Said, “Tiyarah(believing in evil omens) isshirk.”
(Narrated by Imaam Ahmad in hisMusnad, 1/440. Also narrated by Abu Dawood in hisSunan, 4/230,Kitaab al-Tibb, hadeeth no. 3910). Also narrated by al-Tirmidhi in hisSunan, 3/84, 85,Abwaab al-Siyar, hadeeth no. 1663; he said, it is asaheeh hasanhadeeth. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah in hisSunan, 2/1170,Kitaab al-Tibb, hadeeth no. 3538. Also narrated by al-Haakim inal-Mustadrak, 1/17, 18,Kitaab al-Eemaan; he said it is a hadeeth whoseisnaadissaheehand its narrators arethiqah, although they [al-Bukhaari and Muslim] did not narrate it; al-Dhahabi agreed with him in hisTalkhees).
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her): “This indicates that it is mustahabb to get married and to consummate the marriage in Shawwaal. Our companions [fellow-scholars] have stated that this is mustahabb, quoting this hadeeth as evidence for that.”
By saying this, ‘Aa’ishah was aiming to refute the ignorant belief of the Jaahiliyyah, and what some of the common folk still believe today, that it is makrooh to get married or to consummate the marriage in Shawwaal. This is false and there is no basis for this belief. It is one of the leftovers of the Jaahiliyyah, when they used to be superstitious about that because of the connations of the name of Shawwaal which related to the drying up of the camel’s milk and the lifting of its tail…”
(Sharh Saheeh Muslim li’l-Nawawi, 9/209)

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For children, - Companion of Prophet Abu Lubabah: Seeking Forgiveness (Al-Istighfaar, Istighfar)

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Abu Lubabah was one of the distinguished companions (Sahaba)of the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) and had participated in the battle of Uhud and the conquest of Makkah. One of the sensitive aspects of his life was the incident of his repentance (Tawbah and Istighfaar).
When the tribe of Bani Quraidhah violated their covenant with the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw), the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) initiated a military expedition against them and besieged their fort. Some persons from the tribe of Aus approached him and requested: "Just as you had handed over the fate of the tribe of Bani Qainaqa'a to be decided by the tribe of Khazraj, leave it upon us to decide the fate of the tribe of Bani Quraidhah."
"Will you be satisfied if I were to appoint one person from your tribe to rule in the matter?" the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) asked.
They agreed. The Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) suggested Sa'd ibn Mu'adh, chief of the Bani Aus tribe in Yathrib but the Bani Quraidhah refused to accept him. They told him to send Abu Lubabah to them so that they could confer with him. The Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) assigned Abu Lubabah, who had his house, property and family in the fort of Bani Quraidhah, the task of conducting consultations with them.
As soon as Abu Lubabah entered the fort, men and women, old and young, surrounded him and began lamenting and complaining to him (over the state of affairs) with the intention of attracting his pity and compassion. Then they asked: "Should we submit before the rule of the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw)?"
"You could do that," he replied, making a gesture (by pointing to his neck) to indicate that submission was equivalent to death.
Abu Lubabah quickly realized that by performing this act, he had been unfaithful and disloyal to the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw). It was on this occasion that the following verse was revealed: "O you who believe! Be not unfaithful to Allah and the Messenger, nor be unfaithful to your trusts while you know. Know that your property and your children are a temptation, and that Allah is He with Whom there is a mighty reward." Noble Qur'an (8:27-28)
Overcome with shame, he came out of the fort and proceeded straight towards the mosque of Madina and, tying himself to one of its pillars in the mosque, called out: "None should untie me till Allah (SWT) accepts my repentance (Tawbah and Istighfaar)."
Abu Lubabah remained in that state for ten to fifteen days, allowing himself to be untied only for prayers or to go to the washroom.
"If Abu Lubabah had come to me, I would have sought forgiveness for him but since he himself awaits Allah's (SWT) forgiveness, leave him alone till Allah (SWT) forgives him," the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) commented when he came to know what Abu Lababah had done.
Umm al-Momineen Umm Salamahstates: "One day, at dawn, I saw the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) happy and smiling. May Allah (SWT) always keep you smiling! What is the reason for it?" I asked him.
The Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "Jibril (Gabriel) has informed me that Abu Lubabah's repentance has been accepted."
"Do I have your permission to inform him of the good news?" I asked.
"You may if you wish," he answered. From inside the room I called out: "Glad tidings, O' Abu Lubabah! Allah (SWT) has accepted your repentance."
The people rushed forward to untie him but he ordered: "I place you under the oath of Allah (SWT) that none, except the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw), should untie me."
When the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) arrived in the mosque for the morning prayers, he untied Abu Lubabah from the pillar which stands even today, in the Mosque of the Noble Prophet Muhammad (saw) and is popularly known as the 'Pillar of Repentance' or the 'Pillar of Abu Lubabah'.

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Fathwa, - Wants to marry cousin from disputing relatives

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Question
My mother and uncle had a quarrel 8 years ago. They have severed their ties thereafter. Now I want to be reunited with my uncle, I'm also in love with my uncle's daughter and I want to marry her. But my auntie's behavior is very rude. She is also the main cause of conflict. I don't think that she would agree to marry her daughter to me. I often use to go to my uncle's home to see him and his daughter. But my auntie always greets me with anger. I'm very upset about this situation. I don't want to marry any one except my cousin. Would you please help me in the light of Qur'an and Sunnah?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
First, try to reconcile your mother and her brother as soon as possible. You will get great reward for that if your aim is to please Allah by such an act. Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(:}There is no good in most of their secret talks save )in( him who orders Sadaqah )charity in Allâh's Cause(, or Ma'rûf )Islâmic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allâh has ordained(, or conciliation between mankind, and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allâh, We shall give him a great reward.{]4: 114[.
You should use the wisdom and the appropriate means for this reconciliation. Remind them of Allah and tell them that whoever keeps good ties with his kinship )visiting them and doing good to them( Allah will bestow blessings upon him and whoever severs his ties with his kinship Allah will cut off ties with him; no doubt this will result in his destruction.
Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(:}Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allâh has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.{]47: 22-23[.
Abu Hurairahreported from the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( that he said:"The gates of Paradise are not opened but on two days, Monday and Thursday, and then every servant )of Allah( is granted pardon who does not associate anything with Allah except the person in whose )heart( there is rancour against his brother. And it would be said: Look towards both of them until there is reconciliation; look toward both of them until there is reconciliation; look towards both of them until there is reconciliation".
This is about Muslims in general. The rule will have greater impact if this is between very close relatives people who are linked by very close family ties like a brother and a sister.
On the other hand, if your uncle's daughter is pious and good, do not hesitate to ask her for marriage. But this should be in an appropriate way so that your uncle who is the Wali )guardian( of the girl accepts your offer. If he accepts, that is what you desire. If he refuses because of the pressure from his wife try to get somebody who has an influence on them to mediate. This might have the results you want. Anyway, know that nothing will happen except that which Allah has predestined.
We ask Allah to guide you and us to do what pleases Him.
Allah knows best.

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Fathwa, - Wants to reconcile relatives so he can marry his cousin

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Question- As soon as got the answer I went to my uncle and asked him to reconcile with my mother. I also quoted the some Hadith )s(. But, he refused and said that my mother and auntie would once again quarrel if we reconcile, therefore, it is better to be separate.
Please, give me an answer in detail so that I can convince my uncle. My uncle also told me that he would go for a Hajj next time.
I would also like to tell you that my uncle's daughter is 14 years old and I'm 23.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
May Allah reward you for your good efforts to reconcile your uncle and mother. Do not be impatient to achieve the results; instead you should continue visiting your uncle at appropriate times. Show your respect and love for him and do what pleases him. Offering gifts at times may be useful to further your cause. Continue offering him good advice with good manners; probably Allah will guide him to the right path and open his heart to the truth. Know that the hearts are between two fingers out of the fingers of al-Rahman who turns them where He wants. If your uncle does not listen to your advice this time, probably he will listen to it another time. Also, try to convince your mother to visit your uncle or communicate with him. You may tell some lies to achieve this important matter; as some scholars permitted doing so based on the Hadith that the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( said:"He who makes peace between the people by inventing good information or saying good things, is not a liar"]Reported by Imamsal-BukhariandMuslim[.
They take the Hadith according to its apparent meaning while other scholars say that it means using illusive words and expressions not clear lies.
Moreover, tell to your uncle in a good way that severing relations with your mother fearing there will be dispute with his wife is not a sound reason. Instead, he should rebuke the one who creates the problems and should set limits for her.
Also he should know that he could maintain good kin relations with your mother in spite of her dispute with your aunt. So, he should not make it a reason to cut off relations and expose himself to the anger of Allah.
Finally, we advise you again to be patient and continue to make efforts to reconcile them. Also you should resort to Allah, make Du'a to reunite them, help solve their problems and grant you goodness regardless of where it is.
Allah knows best.

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