Family, - The Muslim Child and Reading

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Reading is the basis for development in the field of modern sciences. Ever since the printer was invented and books became attainable, the world developed quickly.
Learning to read in our age has become one of the necessities of life. To be sure, the unlettered among the lettered is like the blind among the sighted.
Concerning the child, reading is a main source of knowledge and learning. Reading, in its simple sense of browsing through the pages of a book and seeing the pictures, is what concerns the child before he learns to read and enters school. The children’s book, in so many instances, is like a toy made of paper containing a lot of drawings, which encourage him to go through its pages and learn what it contains with the help of his parents and teachers, in order to obtain knowledge.
There are many levels of writing for children in terms of content, according to the addressed age. The younger the child is, the more drawings and the less words it has; and the older he is, the less drawings and the more words it has. Furthermore, the child's reading material develops to extend to the writing style and the quality of content. It varies in terms of content, style, formulation and even artistic presentation by the difference of age and environment in which the child lives.
The child's need for reading is essential in order to satisfy his desire for learning and to get acquainted with the things around him and the world in which he lives.
By time, it develops within him love for reading. Whoever is brought up on reading from his early childhood loves books when he grows up, and reading becomes his favorite hobby.
The development of the child's reading faculties does not ensue from filling the children's minds with information in so much as from carefully choosing what suits them, on the one hand, and what they need, on the other hand, without invalidating the foundations and constants the child has acquired from the family and which are supposed to spring from religion. In spite of the negative effect of the TV in our present time, as it distracts the children from reading, it is incumbent upon educators and instructors to take notice of their passive sitting in front of it for long hours. It indeed habituates them to laziness, as far as reading is concerned, and to many other things. In this study, we shall present a brief comment on these other negatives. It repels from them the innate inclination to read, and, so many times, makes them feel it is a heavy undesired burden.
When considering the children's inclination concerning reading, two points should be observed:
• The first is the child's own desires and inclinations
• The second is the objectives the educators seek to achieve, and the child's needs he likes to fulfill.
It is more useful to observe those two points, i.e. not to neglect the child's inclinations and desires. But at the same time, those inclinations and desires should be implied in cultural and educational materials, essential to him. But many times, the trace of this benefit could hardly be visible in him. This is even more confirmed in our present time, because a lot of foreign influences of information overlap on the child, and deviate him from his natural inclinations; rather, they direct him to things which may be, in so many times, unsuitable for him, or irrelevant to his needs.
The stages of a child's interest in reading:
• In the second year, the child shows some interest in pictures points at them, and tries to touch them if they are prominent.
• In the third year, he likes to listen to comments on those pictures, and simple tales related to them, and gives special care to the pictures and their meanings.
• In the fourth year, he memorizes the stories and tries to relate them, and is pleased with imagination, and likes to comment on all the pictures and their meanings, and why they appear in a certain position apart from another.
• In the fifth year, he likes to read letters and recognize their connotations.
• In the sixth year, he starts to learn reading depending on illustrative pictures and forms, and is happy to find somebody to read long stories for him with their accompanying illustrative pictures, and is pleased with their related details and events.
When developed, reading has a strong influence on the child. It opens to him the horizons of knowledge and the world of this life, and with it he learns the things and instruments surrounding him, and how he can avoid risks and accidents.
The child who reads books other than those of the school indeed develops his own experiences, refines his faculties, utilizes his free time, and makes a balance between his need for play and his need for learning.
What does the child read?
The child always loves to live in his daily environment. He likes the stories that are close to his reality, family, and daily life events.
In his early years, the child likes the stories of animals, and is fond of family affairs and the instruments he sees and lives with everyday. When the children grow a bit and their mental faculties develop, they incline to be interested in general knowledge, and stories of history, heroism and inventions.
With the progress of their life towards the age of adolescence, they start becoming interested in the stories about the reality of their community, and their intellectual faculties develop and they sometimes like to go through adult books.
The girls in their advanced years )before adolescence( have a desire for the stories of the family and social and emotional relations, far from heroism and detective adventures which the males incline to and like.
Characteristics of reading material favored by children:
Children like to read the materials which have the following characteristics:
- Stimulate and develop imagination.
- Sometimes use dialogue.
- Remind of heroism, adventures and events which reveal courage.
- Bring about delight and pleasure.
- Provide answers to questions that engage their minds.
- Talk about the animal world.
- Inspirational stories )e.g. religious stories(.
- Present sciences and inventions in a simplified manner.
- Imply the values and concepts of the community in a simple and easy manner.
- Contain suspense and mystery
All of this, and more, should be put within a framework of delightful drawings, pictures and colors that bring joy to the child.







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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Family, - Our Non-Muslim Relatives:Their Rights Upon us

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When I reverted to Islam over 10 years ago, I received mixed reactions from my friends and family. While attending my first family gathering wearing Hijaab, I was eyed very curiously at first, but with time they have come to accept my choice.
Now, no one even seems to notice much except for the occasional complement on my choice of scarf. Most of my relatives accepted my new faith kindly with respect and made efforts to accommodate me, and my family. When holidays rolled around, my relatives would sometimes find it difficult to purchase gifts for other children in the family while "leaving mine out." When I patiently explained why it was important to me that they respect my decision, they did just that. There were a couple of times where my new faith was "challenged" )luring intense discussions about religion, or world events, but we have all learned to respect one another's choices and continue to love and support one another as a family. In many ways, Islam helped me improve my family relationships since I began taking seriously the instruction to maintain family ties. Alhamdu Lillaah )praise be to Allaah(, it has been a pretty easy transition.
Establishing boundaries
Even the most pleasant visit with non-family members can present challenges and tests. Some things are easy to navigate, like avoiding alcohol or dishes with non-halal meat at a family event. Others are more difficult. One area that can be challenging is family gossip. Many relatives delight in sharing family secrets when they come together. It can be difficult to resist the urge to listen, participate and comment about the juicy details of another's life, but this is considered backbiting, and participating in it, is likewise forbidden and should be avoided.
Spreading malicious gossip about others is condemned in the Quran; Allaah Says )what means(:}… And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allaah; indeed, Allaah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.{]Quran 49:12[ If you are part of a family whose favorite pastime is dishing on one another, you may have to get creative when attempting to avoid this kind of activity. When you notice that the conversation is taking a turn to gossip, try gently steering the conversation to another topic instead.
Another challenge specific to women is the issue of Hijaab. Some non-Muslim family members do not understand the purpose of Hijaab and may try to discourage a Muslim relative from wearing it. Some Muslim women recall being pressured to remove their scarves when running simple errands, or while attending a large event with family and friends because it was considered "embarrassing". This could be a real conundrum for a revert who has her own struggle with the issue of wearing Hijaab. This could be an opportunity to educate your family about the benefits of Hijaab. Enlighten them to the fact that covering has been an integral part of maintaining modesty in other religions as well –including Christianity and Judaism. Ultimately, we seek to please Allaah and have to make decisions that complement that goal.
Balancing religious obligations and family
Muslims can maintain their identity and religious obligations while keeping family ties by beingpatient, compassionate and kind to non-Muslim relatives even when they are critical, or negative:
Remain humble.Don't treat others as if you are superior to them. Be polite. Accept invitations from family that are within religious principles. This is an opportunity to strengthen family ties. Refuse to be a part of bad behavior, or create dissention.
Be cheerful and pleasant to everyone.We all prefer the company of someone pleasant and happy. A positive attitude is infectious. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was known for being cheerful, smiling pleasantly to everyone. Anyone who spent time with him felt as though he liked him or her best. Our families deserve to know that feeling.
Show mercy to others.Allaah Says )what means(:}So by mercy from Allaah, ]O Muhammad sallallaahu ‘'alayhi wa sallam[, you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude ]in speech[ and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allaah. Indeed, Allaah loves those who rely ]upon Him[.{]Quran 3:159[
Many Muslims with non-Muslim family members may be confronted with challenges, but they should be considered as opportunities to grow, increase in faith and ultimately earn the pleasure and rewards of Allaah Almighty. When you are attempting to establish good habits and find yourself surrounded by those whose principles are different from yours, you must establish a delicate balance between monitoring your own behavior, and allowing others the freedom to choose their behavior and way of life. As long as their decisions do not directly affect you, it may be best to let things go in the interest of maintaining peace and harmony.
Allaah Almighty Says )what means(:}Say: O disbelievers, I worship not what you worship, nor will you worship that which I worship. And I shall not worship that which you are worshipping. Nor will you worship that which I worship. To you be your religion, and to me my religion.{]Quran 109:1-6[
For reverts, accepting Islam can be an exciting experience filled with lots of change. Many new Muslims often place lots of pressure on themselves to do everything "right," and may make drastic changes in their lives. Some of these decisions may be necessary, but it is a good idea to remember that Islam calls for moderation in all things. Islam has turned many wayward lives around, bringing an end to lifestyles that included drinking, drugs, promiscuity and even criminal activity. Even though you may never hear it directly, some non-Muslim families may be so impressed by the positive behavior of a Muslim family member, that they may start holding a much higher regard for Islam. We should always strive to exemplify the positive characteristics of our faith. We have an opportunity to show our non-Muslim family members the true, compassionate representation of a Muslim. So give others the freedom to see the benefit of Islam for themselves. Make time to visit and keep in touch with relatives.They are the people closest to us in this life, and can be our greatest allies and support.









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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Dought & clear, - He lived in sin with his girlfriend and had a child from her and he wants to marry her

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I live in the west and during the last three years I got to know a kitaabi girl (from the people of the Book – Jewish or Christian), and the relationship between us deepened. That was with the approval of her family and mine. After that we had a daughter and we applied for a civil marriage, but the court refused to marry us because the girl has not yet reached the age where marriage is allowed in that country. I had no choice but to go to the imam of our mosque and the girl’s guardian, and two witnesses of good character came, and we got married in this manner. Is the marriage legitimate according to sharee’ah? Do I have to do anything because of the previous years that I spent with this kitaabi girl without being married? Please advise me, may Allaah reward you with good.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Undoubtedly you did something very wrong for yourself and your religious commitment when you agreed to form a haraam relationship with a Christian woman. As for yourself, that is by committing the sin of zina for which Allaah warns of a severe punishment and decrees the hadd punishment in this world: one hundred lashes for one who is not married and stoning to death for one who is married. As for your religious commitment, that is by giving a bad example of Islam and its morals and rulings to those kuffaar, whether in the land where you live or the family of the woman with whom you are living. How can they respect Islam and the Muslims when they do not see any difference between you and others of the people of the Book?
What you –and your family who knew of your sin – must do is repent sincerely from this great sin. You should realize that you did not only fall into the sin of zina which Islam warns against even approaching, but you persisted in that and lived with the woman as man and wife. This makes your sin worse than the sin of others who may fall into the sin of immorality without continuing or persisting in it.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse __and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.
69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;
70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
For more information on the greatness of Allaah’s grace in accepting the repentance of His slaves and that He accepts the repentance of the penitent no matter how serious and numerous their sins, please see the answers to questions no. 624, 13990, 47834, 23485and 20983.
Secondly:
It should be noted that it is not permissible for you to marry this kitaabi woman unless you repent sincerely to Allaah, and until you are certain that she will not commit immoral actions with anyone and that she will not have boyfriends. This is one of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends”
[al-Maa'idah 5:5]
What you should have done was to tell the one who did the marriage contract for you about your situation and hers, so that he could have enjoined you to repent and told you of the conditions of her being chaste and avoiding zina, and so that you could wait for one menstrual cycle until it was established that she was not pregnant, or until she gave birth if she was pregnant.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
If a woman commits zina, it is not permissible for the one who knows of that to marry her unless two conditions are met:
1- That her ‘iddah has ended. If she is pregnant as the result of zina then her ‘iddah ends when she gives birth, and it is not permissible to marry her before she gives birth.
2- That she repents from committing zina.
And he said: If both conditions are met, it is permissible for the zaani (the man who committed zina) or anyone else to marry her according to the majority of scholars, including Abu Bakr, ‘Umar and his son, Ibn ‘Abbaas, Jaabir, Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyab, Jaabir ibn Zayd, ‘Ata’, al-Hasan, ‘Ikrimah, al-Zuhri, al-Thawri, al-Shaafa’i, Ibn al-Mundhir and ashaab al-ra’y.
Al-Mughni(7/108, 109)
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
It is not permissible to marry a woman who has committed zina until she repents. If a man wants to marry her then he must wait for one menstrual cycle to establish that she is not pregnant before doing the marriage contract with her. If it turns out that she is pregnant, it is not permissible for him to do the marriage contract with her until after she gives birth.
Al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah(2/584)
You do not have the right to do the marriage contract in the courts that govern by man-made laws, or in their churches, rather what you did by asking the imam of the mosque to do the marriage contract was the right thing to do. There is nothing wrong with confirming it in the courts for official purposes.
The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
If the proposal and acceptance are completed, along with all the other conditions of marriage, and it is free from any impediments, then it is valid. If confirming it legally (in the civil court) could serve some shar’i interests of both parties, both now or in the future, then that must be done.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(18/87).
And they said:
If the marriage contract is not recognized and no rights will be granted unless it is confirmed in a non-shar’i court, then this does not affect the validity of the marriage, but there is nothing wrong with confirming it in a non-shar’i court if the aim is to record it for official purposes.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(18/87).
Thirdly:
As for your daughter, she is the product of an illegitimate relationship and it is not permissible for her to be named after you, rather she should be named after her mother.
It was narrated from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb from his father that his grandfather said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled that whoever was born to a slave woman whom his father did not own or to a free woman with whom he committed adultery, then he cannot be named after him and he does not inherit from him, even if the one whom he claims is his father acknowledges him. So he is the product of zina, whether his mother was a free woman or a slave.
Narrated by Abu Dawood (2265) and Ibn Maajah (2746); classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
The scholars of the Standing Committee said, concerning a similar case:
The daughter mentioned, who is the result of illicit relations with her mother, is not your daughter according to sharee’ah, and it is not permissible for her to be named after you, because she was born from haraam water, which is zina. So she should be named after her mother and not after the one who committed zina with her.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(18/321, 322)
If it is not possible to name the child after the mother in the land where the mother lives, she may be given a name which does not belong to anyone in particular, so she may be given a name to use in official papers and documents.
See also the answer to question no. 12283– which is important – and also 117, 33591, 2103and 33615.
We should also remind you that it is haraam to settle in a kaafir land, and you should learn a lesson from what happened to you and try to leave that land and settle in a Muslim country where you will see Islam being practised openly and you will be able to raise your children to follow Islam, be chaste and have good attitudes.
See the answers to questions no. 20227and 45645for more information on the negative consequences of marrying non-Muslim women.
And Allaah knows best.








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