Family, - Islam and polygamy -I

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Polygamy is defined in many dictionaries as: “Any person )male or female( may unconditionally marry unlimited number spouses at the same time."
This means that a male or female may marry an unlimited number of spouses at the same time. In other cultures and faiths, a male may marry an unlimited number of wives at the same time, for any reason, unrestricted by any conditions. Such practices are totally prohibited in Islam.
In Islam, a Muslim man is granted the right to marry more than one wife, accompanied by several clear conditions. These conditions are: financial, physical and emotional ability, equal treatment of the wives, that the women are not among those who are prohibited for him to marry permanently )such as aunts, foster daughters and others specified in the Quran( or temporarily )such as marrying two sisters at the same time(; and that the number of wives is limited to four.
Hence, this is a legal provision that can be properly understood in the context of Islam's position on these issues:
First, in Islam, the family is considered the cornerstone of society; any extra-marital relationship is devastating and damaging to the family and hence it is strictly prohibited. Married life is most desirable in Islam, Islam envisions the role of a woman as a respected, honorable wife, not a secret mistress; while allocating to men the role of respected, responsible husbands, never indulging in secret affairs..
Second, Islam and Islamic laws are for all times and for all circumstances and situations, therefore, they must accommodate all possible social and individual situations.
Third, in Islam, every Muslim man should have a wife and every Muslim woman should have a husband.
Although it may have been abused in certain times and places, polygamy can have a valuable function in certain circumstances; in some situations it may be considered as the lesser of two difficult situations, and in others it may be even a beneficial arrangement.
The obvious example of this occurs in times of war, when there are inevitably large numbers of widows and orphans left without companionship, love, income, care or protection.
If it is still maintained under these circumstances that a man may marry only one wife, other women will be deprived of having a family that includes a loving husband, a companion for life, children and a father for the children. What option is left for those women who have no chance to get married ? They could either stay alone or enter into an illicit relationship.
Most women would not welcome either of those two options. A mistress is just an unofficial second wife who has no legal rights or security for herself or her children. The fact is that women under these circumstances may prefer to share a husband than have none at all; there is no doubt that it is easier to share a husband when it is an established and legal practice, than when it is carried on secretly with attempts to deceive the first wife.
There are other situations where this kind of practice may be preferable for all parties, such as if the first wife is chronically ill, if she cannot have children, if a woman cannot earn a living and needs emotional and financial support.
These examples are mentioned here because people assume that polygamy in Islam is a means to cater to the whims of the Muslim man, not as a real solution to some difficult social problems.
The first verse in the Quran that allows this practice was revealed following the battle of Uhud, in which hundreds of Muslim men were killed, leaving widows and orphans whose care was the responsibility of the Muslim male survivors.
Allaah Almighty Says in the Quran )what means(:}To orphans restore their property when they reach their age, and do not substitute your worthless things for their good ones, and devour not their substance by mixing it up with your own. For this is indeed a great sin. If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four ; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then marry only one.{]Quran 4:2-3[
From these verses, a number of facts are evident:
This permission is not only associated with mere satisfaction of passion; rather it is associated with compassion toward widows and orphans -- a matter that is confirmed by the conditions in which these verses were revealed.
Dealing justly with one's wives is an obligation in Islam. This applies to housing, food, kind treatment, etc.; that is to say that the husband has complete obligation towards all of his wives and their children without any discrimination.
If one is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, the Muslim man is advised to marry only one wife.
Polygamy is far better and more honorable than the case where a man is secretly having mistresses or involved with prostitutes )adultery(. This practice is also better than the case where the husband divorces his wife if she falls ill and marries another one.
The requirement of justice between wives rules out the fantasy that a man can have as many wives as he pleases; it also rules out the concept of a "secondary" wife, for all wives have exactly the same status and are entitled to identical rights and claims over their husband.
The verses say "marry" -- not buy, seduce or select -- since in Islam, marriage is a civil contract, which is valid only when both parties consent to it. Thus no woman can be married forcibly or given to a man who is already married, except if she and her family agree, since there is no secret marriage in Islam polygamy is practiced as a free choice of both parties.
It is evident that the permission for polygamy is consistent with the realistic Islamic worldview, that remains applicable through varying social needs, problems and cultural variations for all time and in all places.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Family, - Polygyny is the Original Rule

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Polygyny is the basic rule; however, the ruling of polygyny differs according to the circumstances and conditions of every man.
Restricting polygyny to cases where the first wife is sick or old is considered unjustly narrowing that which is wide.
The phenomenon of polygyny was widespread during the period ofJaahiliyyah)pre-Islamic era( and Islam approved of this habit as it has many benefits for both men and women. However, Islam stipulated certain restrictions that protect the rights of all parties.
In this study, Shaykh Naasir ibn ‘Abdur-Rahmaan Al-Khunayn, a staff member at Imam ‘Ali University, answers many questions regarding this important issue. We do not want to have a lengthy introduction as we want to leave the reader to see the proofs that were mentioned by Shaykh Naasir regarding the advantages and benefits of polygyny and the clarification of being just with wives.
Polygyny is the basic principle
Some people ask about the reasons that call for polygyny as if the basic principle is that it is forbidden. Actually, this is what led people to think that polygyny should not take place unless there is a certain reason and if that reason exists, then polygyny would be permissible, otherwise it will be impermissible.
This is not true, but, unfortunately, this belief is widespread in many places. The sound opinion that should be applied with regard to understandingSharee‘ah)Islamic legislation( texts that encourage marriage is that the basic principle is polygyny; in order to achieve chastity if the husband is capable ]of marriage[ and is just. However, if he fears doing injustice and feels that he would not be able to treat his wives justly, he should suffice with one wife. This is the opinion held as preponderant by Shaykh Abu ‘Abdullaah ‘Abdul-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abdullaah ibn Baaz, may Allaah have mercy upon him. He used to joke with his companions, and ask them,“Are you among those who apply polygyny or are you among those who fear?”This sentence is a pun as it may mean that he is afraid of his wife or afraid that he might not be just. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}But if you fear that you will not be just, then ]marry only[ one.{]Quran 4:3[
Restricting polygyny to cases where the wife is sick, old or so forth is considered narrowing a matter that Allaah The Almighty made wide. The condition for polygyny is that the Muslim man should feel that he is most likely able to provide for his wives and to treat them justly with regard to the time he spends with them, the residence and expenditure he provides for them, and treating them according to what is good. He should fear Allaah The Almighty as much as he can; however, the inclination of the heart regarding love, sexual intercourse or so forth is something that the husband cannot control. Nevertheless, he should not incline to a certain wife completely. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And you will never be able to be equal ]in feeling[ between wives, even if you should strive ]to do so[. So do not incline completely ]toward one[ and leave another hanging.{]Quran 4:129[
Most scholars have said that "inclination" here means inclination with regard to overnight stay and providing for wives equally, but it does not mean being just with regard to love, as this is something that the person cannot control. This is supported by what was narrated by ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, as she quoted the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, as saying:“O Allaah! This is my distribution in what I can control, so do not blame me for what You can control while I cannot.”
Abu Daawood, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said that the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, meant the heart. ThisHadeeth)narration( was narrated by At-Tirmithi, An-Nasaa’i, Ibn Maajah, Ahmad, Ibn Hibbaan and Al-Haakim and he authenticated it.
When interpreting the abovementioned verse, Al-Haafith Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said that it means that men will not be able to treat women justly in all aspects. This is because even if the husband applies the apparent distribution of nights, there could be a difference in the love and desire that he experiences. He added that the verse warns against inclining completely to one wife so that the other one would not be left hanging, neither a wife nor a divorced woman. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And if you amend ]your affairs[ and fear Allaah -- then indeed, Allaah is Ever Forgiving and Merciful.{]Quran 4:129[ This means that if you amend your behavior and treat your wives equally and fear Allaah The Almighty, He will forgive you for inclining to one wife.
Hence, it is now clear that theSunnah)tradition( of polygyny is not restricted to a certain reason, but it is conditioned by justice and fearing Allaah The Almighty. The basic principle is polygyny and no one should abstain from it except if he fears that he will not be just. The supreme scholar of this Ummah, Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said to Sa‘eed ibn Jubayr, may Allaah be pleased with him,“Get married as the best among this Ummah )nation( are those who have the most wives.”
The opinion that I choose and that is supported by the rules and the general texts ofSharee‘ahis that the ruling on polygyny differs according to the case of every man and his character and qualities. The basic opinion regarding polygyny is permissibility provided that justice is achieved. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of ]other[ women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then ]marry only[ one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline ]to injustice[.{]Quran 4:3[

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Dought & clear, - He suffers from vasocongestion and pain, and the doctor advised him to masturbate

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I hope that you will excuse me, for Allah is not too shy to speak the truth. I am a nineteen-year-old male. Allah has blessed me with religious commitment, and I am a seeker of knowledge and a Haafiz of His holy Book. But my problem is that I suffer from the pressure of desire, which has led to the appearance of localised pain in the testicles (which is sometimes very severe) and difficulty in urination. I asked a Muslim doctor over the Internet and described the symptoms to him in detail. He told me that I am suffering from vasocongestion because of ongoing provocation and lack of draining of the fluids. Then he told me that in the event of increased provocation I have to masturbate so as to remove this congestion. Please note that I am still a student and I am not able to get married, and fasting makes me very weak (mentally and physically) I am trying as much as possible to keep away from sources of provocation, but there is no way to avoid much of it as you know, especially nowadays. I feel very ashamed of myself, especially because people look at me with respect. I have been living with a bitter psychological conflict because of this matter, because sometimes I feel that my intention is not pure when I engage in this habit. In other words, it is a mixture between dispelling the harm and attaining pleasure. Is there any sin on me if I leave this fluid in my body and do not expel it, even though I know that that may harm me and lead to infections or other complications?
My other question is: a brother suggested that I marry his daughter (without me having said anything to him previously) and he told me that he would sponsor us and even sponsor my studies. But I rejected the offer because I could not accept the idea of anyone spending on me and my wife or having any kind of advantage over me because my position would then be weak. Is what I did correct? Or should I have accepted his offer in order to keep myself chaste? If I receive such an offer again, what should I do? Is it permissible in a case like mine to get married with the intention of divorcing?
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
Masturbation is haraam because of evidence that we have quoted previously in the answer to question no. 329
As it is haraam, then there is no way that it could be a remedy, because Allah has not put healing in that which He has forbidden to His slaves.
Ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: Allah has not put your healing in that which He has forbidden to you. Narrated by al-Bukhaari in a mu‘allaq report inKitaab al-Ashribah, Baab Sharaab al-Halwa wa’l-‘Asl.
A person may imagine that something is a remedy when in fact it is a disease, such as the one who imagines that there is healing in khamr (wine, alcohol), as it says in the hadeeth that was narrated by Muslim (3670) via Suwayd al-Ja‘fi who said that he asked the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) about khamr and he forbade him or discouraged him from making it. He said: I only make it as a remedy, and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not a remedy; rather it is a disease.”
Masturbation is also like that; you may think that it is a remedy when in fact it is a disease. The one who suffers from it can hardly give it up and has no limit at which he can stop. With regard to fasting, it is a beneficial prophetic remedy, but it needs to be done regularly and on an ongoing basis, whilst also following other preventative measures such as lowering the gaze, avoiding idleness, keeping busy with acts of worship and obedience, and choosing righteous friends.
Some fuqaha’ allowed masturbation in cases where the individual fears for his religious commitment or physical well-being, under the heading of committing the lesser of two evils.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who was faced with provocation of desire, so he masturbated although he knew that the problem could be dealt with by fasting, but it was too difficult for him.
He replied:
With regard to that (semen) that is emitted involuntarily, there is no sin on him for that, but he has to do ghusl if the water came out gushing. But if it was emitted voluntarily, in that he masturbated, this is haraam according to most of the scholars. It is also one of the two views narrated from Ahmad; in fact it is the more correct view; according to another view it is makrooh (disliked). But if he is compelled to do that, such as if he feared that he might fall into zina if he did not masturbate, or he feared that he might become ill, then in this case there are two well-known scholarly views. Some of the earlier and later scholars granted a concession in such cases, and others forbade it. And Allah knows best.
End quote fromal-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/439. See alsoMataalib Ooli an-Nuha, 6/225;Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘, 6/125
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: He said: “The one who masturbates unnecessarily should be given a disciplinary punishment.” The phrase “unnecessarily” means if there was no need to do that. Needs are of two types: religious or spiritual needs and physical needs.
With regard to religious or spiritual needs, that refers to when the individual fears that he may fall into zina, if he is in a country where it is easy to commit zina. If he experiences intense desire, he will have two options: either he can extinguish it by doing this action or he can go to any place where there are prostitutes and commit zina. In that case we say to him that this is a legitimate need, because the established principle in Islam says that it is essential to ward off the greater of two evils by means of the lesser, and this is what is in accordance with reason. If this person has no option but to fulfil his desire in one of these two ways, then in that case we say that it is permissible for him to do this action because it is a case of necessity.
With regard to physical needs, that refers to when the individual fears that some harm may befall his body if he does not discharge this fluid from his body, because some people may experience strong desire, and if this accumulating fluid is not discharged it will result in psychological problems, so he will not like to mix with people or sit with them.
So if he fears some kind of physical harm, then it is permissible for him to do this action because it is a physical need. But if there is no need and he does this action, then he should be given a disciplinary punishment that will serve as a deterrent.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 14/318
Secondly:
You should avoid anything that may provoke desire of looking, listening, reading and so on, and you should avoid keeping company with those whose company may lead to that, so as to protect your religious commitment and your physical well-being. Please see the answer to question no. 20161for some advice on resisting the danger of sexual temptation.
Thirdly:
If a man offers to give you his daughter in marriage and to spend on you both, and this man is religiously committed and righteous, and there is no fear that he will break his promise or remind you of his kindness later on, then there is nothing wrong with accepting that from him; perhaps this is provision that Allah has granted to you and a way out by which you can be safe from falling into haraam.
As for marrying with the intention of divorcing, that is haraam, because it involves deceiving and cheating the wife.
We ask Allah to make things easy for you, purify your heart and protect your chastity.
And Allah knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M