Fathwa, - Defects that affect marriage, - Husband wants to divorce his HIV+ wife

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Question
Asalam wk my question on HIV I am HIV + since 8 months after marriage I came to knew it I don't knw how I was infected my husband is negative after knowing it he accepted me even my in laws accepted and was with me but a month before his mother started fighting with me when it was out of control I said I can't live with her know my husband want to leave me. Boz of her mother and even he is lying dat he was nt with me ) sexual intercourse(
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, is His Slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah to bless you with an immediate cure, and we advise you to supplicate Allaah earnestly as He responds to the supplication of a person who is in distress as Allaah is Omnipotent and everything is easy for Him.
AIDS )HIV( is like any other disease, a person who is affected with this disease may be cured with the permission of Allaah.We advise you to be patient as there is much goodness in patience. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 83577and 85072.
As it is well known, this disease has many causes and it is not necessarily caused by sexual intercourse.
Besides, disputes between the wife and her mother-in-law often occur especially if they both live in the same house. If your mother-in-law fights with you just because you are affected with this disease, then she is wrong, but we advise you to be patient with her. It is wise not to let the dispute between the wife and her mother-in-law have an impact on the spouses' life; rather, both spouses should be keen on overcoming this problem away from divorce.
The husband should not resort to divorce just because of this problem with his mother. So, you should have a mutual understanding with him in a gentle manner, and seek the help of rational people if necessary.
If living in a separate house can be a reason for solving the problem, then you should resort to it – we mean an independent or separate accommodation – as it is the right of the wife upon her husband as we have already explained in Fatwa 84608.
In any case, if it happens that your husband divorces you, you should be patient and comfort yourself with the saying of Allaah )which means(: }But if they separate ]by divorce[, Allaah will enrich each ]of them[ from His abundance. And ever is Allaah Encompassing and Wise.{ ]Quran 4:130[. Perhaps Allaah will compensate you with a better husband.
On the other hand, it is not permissible for a husband to lie and deny having sexual intercourse with his wife without a benefit that could not be achieved except by denying it, but you did not clarify to us his purpose in denying having sexual intercourse with you. If he intended to deny having consummated the marriage with you so that the rights that are due to you because of marriage would not be effective, then the consummation of the marriage with the wife can happen without sexual intercourse. The juristsclarified the ruling if the spouses disputed about intercourse )whether it occurred between them or not( and they stated that the statement of the one who denies it is the one that is taken into account as he/she is sticking to the original status )i.e. the lack of the existence of the ruling until the contrary is proven(.As-Suyootifrom the Shaafi’i School of jurisprudence, said in Al-Ashbaah wan-Nathaa’ir when talking about the rule which reads "The rule which had not existed in the past is presumed to be non-existent": “If the two spouses differ about the issue of having sexual intercourse, then the statement that should be taken into account is the statement of the one who denies it as pursuant to the principle of presuming the original absence of a ruling )until the contrary is proven(.”
Allaah Knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Fathwa, - Defects that affect marriage, - His wife has a mental disorder that he didn't know of at time of marriage

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Question
I have married on 2nd june 2013,after that i observ she is sufferon from mental problem for last 10 years but her parents suppress the fact before begin matrimonial negotition.her behaviour is not tolerable. As she is suffering from mental disorder. I feel i cannot continue my life with her.doctor also not give any assurance regarding her cure.p
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, is His Slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah, The Almighty, to heal your wife and take away her illness, for He is the Healer, besides Whom there is no healer. We advise you to always ask Allaah to heal your wife from any affliction, for He responds to the supplication of the desperate person and removes harm. Allaah, The Almighty, says )what means(: }Is He ]not best[ who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is there a deity with Allaah? Little do you remember.{ ]Quran 27:62[
We also advise you to seek treatment for her. One of the best means of treatment is the Ruqyah, which Muslims often neglect. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa92491,88660and82918.
If her illness is just a mental deficiency and does not reach the degree of insanity, then her guardian is not liable for concealing it, and you do not then have the choice of annulling the marriage. However, her guardian should have told you about her condition to avoid any causes for dispute.
On the other hand, if her illness reached the degree of insanity, then you have the choice of annulling the marriage, because insanity is one of the physical defects that are grounds for either spouse having the choice of annulling the marriage.Ibn Al-Qayyimstates inZaad Al-Ma'aad:“Ash-Shaafi‘i and Maalik said that marriage may only be annulled on grounds of insanity, vitiligo )skin depigmentation(, leprosy, a blocked vagina, a severed penis or impotence.”]End quote[
It is a condition for the right of annulment that the husband did not know of the defect at the time of the marriage contract, and did not accept it when learning the facts.
Finally, if it is easy to get treatment for your wife, then all praise be to Allaah, The Almighty; and if not, then you can marry another one if you are able to be fair and fulfill your obligations towards both wives. But if you cannot marry another with her, then you can divorce her and marry another. Divorce is permissible, especially if there is a need for it.
Allaah Knows best.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Hadees, - Someone asked Hassan Al Basri:

Someone asked Hassan Al Basri:
"What is the secret of your piety?" He replied,
"I understood 4 things:
1. I understood my rizq cannot be taken by anyone so my heart is contended..
2. I understood no one can do my actions (worship) so I started doing
them myself.
3. I understood Allah Ta'ala is watching me, so I felt shame to do wrong.
4. I understood death is waiting for me so I started to prepare for my
meeting with Allah Ta'ala. "
May Allah grant us this understanding & guide us. Ameen

Marital Life, - When was the last time you raced your wife?

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:-> Yes, when was the last time you raced with your wife? You might mockingly or disapprovingly smile, yet the question remains, for it bespeaks an invitation to you to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in his kind attitude toward his wives. If you claim to follow his,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, Sunnah, in keeping a beard, cleaning your teeth with aSiwaak)tooth stick( and shortening your clothes to reach above the ankle, you are likewise required to emulate him in the way he treated his spouses, may Allaah be pleased with them. Moreover, the leniency, mercy and patience of the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, with his wives is not merely his tradition, but an obligation confirmed by many Quranic verses, among which is the one in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And live with them in kindness.{]Quran 4:20[ Thus, racing was a compassionate gesture of the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in order to be friendly and open with his wives. ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, narrates that as a young and thin girl, she was once accompanying the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, on one of his journeys. He,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallamasked his Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, to move ahead of them, which they did. He,sallaallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then asked to race with her; she did and won. Some time later, after she had forgotten about this, she was with the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, on another of his journeys and he wanted to race her. She wanted to excuse herself, by telling him she could not, since she had gained some weight, but he,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, insisted. They raced and this time he won; so the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, laughed and said;“This ]is[ for that.” Some husbands contend that they do not race with their wives because they are too busy and have many responsibilities. Our retort is that by no means can they be busier than the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who bore the responsibility of conveying the Message of Islam to the entire world. He also led the army in combat alongside running errands for his family and doing household chores. Nevertheless, all this did not stop him from twice racing with his wife ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her. Other husbands might argue that the streets are not a suitable place for racing; so, they can surely take their wives away from people, on a picnic. Moreover, competition is not just in running. One can compete to win in a permissible electronic game or general knowledge quiz, in which one can ask each other questions and keep score. A third group of husbands believes that such competitions may cause their wives to become too bold and eventually challenge them. This is not true, because the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, raced with his wife, so this is an act to be followed, for copying his behavior with his wives can bring nothing but good. Also, modern research has established that being kind and easygoing with one’s wife makes it easier for her to be mindful of you. There are lessons to be learned from the aforementioned incident related by ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, concerning the Prophet’s,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, kindness toward his wives. 1-The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the one to ask for a race both times. This teaches husbands that they should take the initiative in such competitions. Wives may be too busy with housework or fear rejection or, as is the generally innate nature of women, be too shy to propose such an idea. However, on their part, they should try to urge their husbands when they see they are free and in a good mood. 2-A husband should not incessantly brag of superiority over his wife. We notice that the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, outran ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, after she had already outstripped him the first time. 3-Alternately, a husband should neither always deliberately lose for the sake of his wife or the competition would be meaningless. The factor that decided the win of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, the first time was her youth and fitness, and when she put on some weight, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, outstripped her. 4-A husband should remember that such competitions are just for amiability and fun. Neither of the spouses should get worked up or a row could ensue and the activity would lose its desired aim. This can be understood from the reaction of the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who only laughingly referred to his win to counter that of ‘Aa’ishah’s, may Allaah be pleased with her.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M