Team McPherson: Solstice

Team McPherson: Solstice: Over the past few years, Kyle and I have made a lot of new traditions for our Solstice celebration. It was fun to recreate those. We leave t...

Australia to China:Playin with my new toy!

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Blog: Australia to China
Post: Playin with my new toy!
Link: http://aust2china.blogspot.com/2012/06/playin-with-my-new-toy.html

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Islamic Marriage Articles, - Sex Roles in Muslim Families in the U.S. 2

Continution:
-
The modern industrial culture upset the past norm of family life and
greatly changed the purposes of marriage. New opportunities of
material gain were opened to married and unmarried. Women making them
eco- nomically independent from their husbands and male providers. The
women's emancipation movement accordingly declared that there was no
more reason for tolerating subjugation to the male and cultivated the
eccentric tendencies against the traditional functioning and sex-roles
in the family. "The woman's new freedom has greatly increased sexual
opportunity outside marriage, supported by contraception and
abortion." The main purpose of marriage has become to satiate the
desires of the couple, or what the libs call to achieve individual
fulfillment and to ascertain the spouse's identity. The new concept
has become tantamount to fulfilling the "desire of each other's need
for individual happiness" and "the development of man-woman
relationship." This, according to them, would lead to giving the wife
the same status as the husband without differentiation or
discrimination. Thus, a new concept of marriage rooted in the family
had to be developed, and four substitutes are being practiced in modem
societies:
1. Serial monogamy, where a series of marriages take place one after
the other. This is what prevails in the United States at present where
divorce occurs in 40% of marriages and where 75% of the divorced
remarry. There are some modernists who suggest the "bypass of divorce
by requiring renewal or cancellation of all marriage contracts at
three year intervals."
2. Open marriage, where the exclusivity of husband-wife (sexually and
otherwise) is eliminated. Those who advocate this category of marriage
practice "wife swapping" or "swinging." They claim that extramarital
experiences would reduce jealousy, relieve tensions and ease the
pressures of personal conflict.
3. Polygamy and group marriage, where an association of husbands and
wives and their children mix together without restriction or
constraint. The claim here is that multiplicity of parenthood for
adults and children would offer a wider variety of interactive
experiences in meeting individual needs.
4. Homosexuality, where women "marry" women and men "marry" men
without the usual conflict which is inevitable in every new normal
marriage.
All such approaches can never succeed in creating a happy family
because they ignore the biological and the spiritual elements. Humans
cannot survive without a society and no society can survive without
the family. As individuals, "to live is to love and to love is to
live," as Havelock Ellis puts it. Serial monogamy, open marriage,
group marriage and homosexuality lack the premodial basics of the
family. Humans are the only species where the offspring needs parental
catering for a relatively long period after birth, not only physically
but emotionally as well.
The new frustrated efforts, as reflected in the modern abnormal family
life do not unite man and woman in a bond where both enjoy material
and emotional security, stability and contentment. They do not cure
the ailments created by the prevailing technological culture:
alienation, loneliness, anomie, lack of love, and anxiety. "Search any
average human being and you soon find evidence of heart-hunger for
closeness and intimacy and the shared life as the only dependable
sources of a sustained sense of self-esteem and of personal worth."
The women's emancipation movement in this country is revolting against
long-standing inequitable treatment, against a biased, unjust legal
system and a domineering economic exploitation. In their revolt, and
in the absence of any effective religious or moral guidance, women
have gone to the extreme which has brought down on them the misery of
"civilized prostitution and adultery."
Such are the circumstances of the culture under which a Muslim family
lives in this country. It would be a gross mistake to assume that
Muslims will not be affected by the American way of life, the American
materialistic values and American laws. Hence, the complex of problems
of Muslim families start. If we add to the above anomalies the
problems arising from the educational systems and its repercussions on
the youngsters and adults, we could better understand the vast
dimension of the Muslim dilemma. An example of this confusion is the
so-to-speak highly educated Muslim wife who believes that it is her
legitimate right to invite any male friend into the home, even in the
absence of her husband, to accept an invitation in another city or
another country without his permission, or the right to choose hard
work in a locality other than where he lives. It is not a rare case to
come across a Muslim woman who believes that she has the right to work
as she has spent long years qualifying herself in a certain
profession. In most cases, she would be motivated by her desire to
material gain, especially when she can have some fulfillment out of
the social activities in her professional domain. Such wives are
deeply influenced by the American materialistic mentality and would
claim the best of two worlds: to keep her job and to claim her Islamic
right to be sustained by her husband.
The problems of children born in Muslim families are well known to all
and have been repeatedly discussed by Muslim sociologists and thinkers
in numerous conventions and symposia. They revolve on the cold fact
that the American environment and culture affect the Muslim child's
mentality and code of ethical values. When both parents are working,
the child does not get enough care and domestic orientation to protect
him against anti-Islamic practices. More serious a menace is the loss
of the child's Islamic identity and his relatedness to a Muslim
community. But these children's problems are mainly derived from the
principal family problems which, if solved, would automatically bring
relief to the chil- dren's ordeal.
THE ISLAMIC SOLUTION- BIOLOGY AND SOCIALIZATION
There is nothing more compatible with human nature than Islamic
teachings and injunctions, if only because they take the individual as
a fallible being, subject to trial and error and subject to correction
and evolution."On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it
can bear."(2:286)
It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it
earns. As we are concerned here with the Muslim family, it is natural
that whatever solution we may suggest, it must be in accordance with
Islam. Luckily enough, Islam decides upon every issue, taking human
nature in consideration and exhorting us to abide by the eternal laws
of creation.
Empirical sciences have discovered many facts concerning our
biological structure and physiological functioning, but there are
still many more of life's secrets to be uncovered. There is not one
single established scientific fact that runs contrary to any Islamic
injunction; but there are many postulates, ideas and theories that may
be incompatible with Islamic teachings. Under such uncertain
conditions, the Muslim is supposed to follow the Islamic rules
irrespective of the scientific dubious points of view and his personal
desires.
Regarding the traditions and cultures that affect our socialization,
we must bear in mind that these are the product of certain practiced
ideals and established ideas prevailing at one time in a certain
society. This is an extremely important element in the Islamic
syndrome of solutions to societal problems. Islam is a philosophy that
defines the purpose of human life, the relation between man, nature,
and the Creator. It is a doctrine that sets up the broad outlines of
the social, political, economic and esthetic systems which should be
applied in our daily transactions and intercourse. Such philosophical
definitions and doctrinal delineations are confined to the basic facts
which do not evolve or change in accordance with the continuous human
evolution. Facts are absolute and are not subject to change, otherwise
they are neither facts nor absolute.
Whatever solutions we find in Islam, they are based on such absolute
facts whether known to our contemporary scientists or unknown to them.
The entire concept of the family and roles of its members is a part of
the general concept of the Islamic society. Let us bear in mind that
marriage is dictated by our biological needs and is a part of the
indispensable human society and not just a matter of individual
option."And of everything we have created pairs."(51:49).
The word 'zawj' is used in the Quran as meaning a pair or a mate. Both
words connote marriage."Do they not look at the earth, how many pairs
of noble things we have produced therein?"(31:10). Even in Paradise,
the Quran informs us that we shall have mates (see 2:25, 4:57). Allah
created humans from one soul, which could be the first cell. From this
soul He created the male and the female. The story of creating Eve
(the first female) from a rib of Adam (the first male) is not
mentioned in the Quran."And among His signs is this, that He created
for you mates from yourselves that ye may find rest (and peace) in
them."(30:2 1)."O mankind, heed (in reverence) your Lord Who created
you from a single soul, and from it created its mate, and from them
both spread a multitude of men and women."(4:1).
Our Prophet orders us to get married as soon as we can. The family is
the nucleus of the Islamic society and marriage is the only way to
bring about such an institution. Extra-marital relations are
categorically condemned and prohibited."Nor come nigh to adultery (or
fornication) for it is a shameful deed and an evil, opening the road
to other evils."(17:30).
It is only logical that Islam set up the rules to regulate the
functioning of the family whereby both spouses can find peace, love,
security and relatedness. The elements are necessary to accomplish the
greatest purpose of marriage: the worship of Allah. By worship it is
not only meant the performance of rituals, but it essentially implies
righteousness in all transactional behavior. Every good deed, every
service to humanity, every useful productive effort, and even every
good word are a part of a true Muslim worship of his Allah. If both
husband and wife observe this main purpose, this cardinal purpose of
their union, they would easily learn how to help each other achieve
this goal which is greater than themselves. They would learn how to
tolerate each other, how to love Allah in themselves and in other
beings, and how to overcome their difficulties and their shortcomings.
The second purpose of marriage is to respond to the basic biological
instinct of procreation. Children are the realization of motherhood
and fatherhood. Islam is particular in providing the most possible
wholesome atmosphere for bringing up the offspring. To give birth to
children and neglect them is a crime towards society, the children,
and the parents themselves. The child who is deprived of the ample
love of his or her parents, who is not properly tutored at an early
age, and who is left to babysitters and nurseries will develop many
anti-social behavioral patterns and may end up with crime, perversion
and corruption. Such a child may never find his or her identity as he
or she could have felt it in a systematic manner during his or her
childhood. Without a family life, governed by Islamic order and
discipline, how can we expect a child to have the Muslim conscience
and the Islamic value of righteousness.
Islam prescribes clear rights and obligations on parents and their
descendent Parents are legally responsible for the education and
maintenance of their children. These, by turn, are legally responsible
for accommodating and maintaining their parents, if they so require,
in their old age. Both parents and children inherit from each other
according to a prescribed and accurate law of inheritance specified in
the Quran. Neither of them can deprive the other of their respective
shares in the legacy. This is only part of the long family code in
Islam. What is of import here is the husband-wife relationship-their
sex roles-within the context of Islamic comprehension:"And among His
Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves,
that you may find rest (and peace) in them. And He has put love and
mercy between your (hearts); Verily in this are signs for those who
reflect."(30:21).
Despite the importance of these moral values: rest, peace, love and
mercy, Islam did not stop there. It bolstered its original concept of
the family by defining the roles of man and woman in such a manner
that each should act in accordance with his or her biological merits.
The man, with his aggression, is charged with what is called the
instrumental functions: maintenance, protection, dealings with the
outworldly matters and leadership within the family. The woman is
entrusted with caring for and rearing the children, organizing the
home, and creating the loving atmosphere inside. Let us be clear from
the beginning that in an Islamic society the wife is not expected to
be pushed to work to gain money. Even the unmarried, the divorcee, and
the widow are guaranteed, by law, an income that helps them lead a
reasonably comfortable life. Work or trade are not prohibited to
women. Yet, they are not recommended to undertake such activities
unless there is a justification for them and without prejudice to
their husband's rights. Once the woman gets married, she accepts the
Islamic ruling on the functioning of the family. Her role becomes
mainly to achieve the welfare of her household and to look after the
internal family affairs. If she wants to work, she is bound to ask the
explicit approval of her husband. However, if she has her own property
or fortune, and if she opts to run or invest such wealth, she is
entitled to do so without her husband's permission, but provided this
does not infringe upon her marital obligations.
THE ISLAMIC FAMILY
In Islam, as in biology, there is no family without marriage, and
there is no marriage without rules and discipline. The family in Islam
is a unit in which two independent persons unite and share life
together. The husband's dignity is an integral part of his wife's
dignity. Accordingly, neither of them is better than the other. To
unite and share, there must be mutual love and compassion-a genuine
feeling which unless translated into action and behavior would be mere
illusion and futile emotion. One can hardly accept the claim of love
of the spouse who does not care for his or her sick partner or who
does not share the family responsibilities.
This fundamental basis, if well understood and observed, makes the
first loyalty of both spouses to their family which is supposed to
serve Allah in piety as the main purpose of marriage. It implies that
they act as if they were one person with many organs. The head of the
human is not better than the heart, and the hand is not better than
the foot. If the man is charged with the duty of leadership and
maintenance, he is not better than the woman who is assigned the duty
of keeping the household, even if the first duty is more difficult and
perhaps more significant. Imam Muhammad Abduh emphasizes this point as
vital for the right understanding of the sex roles of spouses. He adds
that the Quranic verse,"And in no wise covet those things in which
Allah hath bestowed His gifts more freely on some of you than on
others; to men is allotted what they earn, and to women what they
earn"(4:32) does not imply that every man is better than every woman
or vice versa. According to him, each sex, in general, has some
preferential advantage over the other, though men have a degree over
women.
There has been much controversy about this 'degree'. Some interpret it
as the delegation of leadership, surveillance and maintenance which
are bestowed on men. Others say that it is the tolerance with which
men must treat their wives. A third view is that it is men's natural
gift for judging matters and managing external problems. However, the
consensus is that this 'degree' comprises the principle of
'guardianship' or 'qiwamah'.
Imam Abduh in the course of interpreting the preceding Quranic verse,
stated that qiwamah or guardianship has four elements: protection,
surveillance, custody and maintenance. Dr. Abd al-Ati considered the
element of obedience over and above the aforementioned four elements-
the most important indication of qiwamah. Obedience, to him, and in
accordance to the Quran and Traditions comprises the following:
1.She must not receive male, strangers or accept gifts from them
without his permission. Nor must she lend or dispose of any of his
possessions without his approval,
2.The husband has the legal right to restrict her freedom of movement
and prevent her from leaving her home without his permission. She must
comply with this right unless there is a necessity or legitimate
advantage for her to do otherwise. However, it is his religious
obligation to be compassionate so as to relax his right to restrict
her freedom of movement. If there arises a conflict between this right
of his and wife's parents' right to visit and be visited by their
daughter, his right prevails.
Yet it is religiously recommended that he be considerate enough to
waive his right and avoid estrangement within his conjugal family or
between any member of this family and close relatives, e.g. the wife's
parents.
3.A refractory wife has no legal right to object to the husband's
exercise of his disciplining authority. Islamic law, in common with
most other systems of law, recognizes the husband's right to
discipline his wife for disobedience.
4.The wife may not legally object to the husband's right to take
another wife or to exercise his right of divorce. The marital contract
establishes her implicit consent to these rights. However, if she
wishes to restrict his freedom in this regard or to have similar
rights, she is legally allowed to do so. She may stipulate in the
marital agreement that she too, will have the right to divorce, or
that she will keep the marriage bond only so long as she remains the
only wife; should he take a second wife, the first will have the right
to seek a divorce in accordance with the marriage agreement.
5.Finally, if the husband insists on patrilocality or neolocality, the
wife Must Comply."
CONCLUSION
The problems facing Muslim families living in the States can be dealt
with in compliance with Islamic teachings and principles once we
accept them as binding. If the spouses are really devout, they will
have no difficulty in encountering the evils of the Western culture
and in escaping the anti-Islamic societal factors that may run
contrary to Islam. The guidelines as we see them would be:
1.The main purpose of marriage is to live in piety and to serve the
Islamic Cause. The wife has the right to discontinue working whenever
she pleases. The husband may allow the wife to work with the condition
that her gain belongs to the family and not be considered as her
personal property.
2.Household: When the wife is not employed, the household becomes her
first occupation. By household it is meant the rearing of the children
and all domestic services required for maintaining a clean and
comfortable habitation. The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Cleanliness is a
part of faith." Motherhood is highly appraised in Islam and is the
most elated value second to the worship of Allah.
MARRIAGE, DISPUTES AND DIVORCE
Marriage:Muslims should marry according to Islamic traditions and
rules. The marriage will have to be registered with the State in which
they wed in order to give it a legal force. This legal procedure
subjects the marriage contract to the jurisdiction of American laws
which, in most cases, contradict many Islamic rulings. However, such
contradiction does not happen unless there is a dispute that both
spouses fail to solve in accordance with the Shariah.
Disputes:These are expected to arise in all matrimonial relations.
Muslim abiding spouses must learn how to compromise and tolerate each
other. Their guide is the teaching of their religion and their good
example is their Prophet. However, in case they fail to solve their
own problems, they have to resort to arbitration. The spouse who
refuses this Quranic injunction or who defies the other partner taking
shelter under the umbrella of American laws is failing in his or her
religious commitment. The Quranic arbitration is meant to be binding
on both spouses and would, indeed, relieve the Muslim family of most
of its problems.
Divorce:If one to the spouses refuses arbitration, non-Islamic divorce
is bound to take place, leaving a deep painful scar on both of them.
Arbitration may end in divorce, but in this case it would be least
harmful as both would feel more content when Shariah is justly
applied.
It is a pity that many recalcitrant (nashiz) Muslim women think that
American law would serve their interest more than the Islamic Law.
This is not only wrong but the consequences of litigation generally
leaves more ill feeling than should be.
ENVIRONMENT AND CHILDREN
Nobody can deny the impact of environment upon adults and children. Up
until now, one can safely say that Muslims of America could not
constitute any physical or moral community comparable to that of the
Jews or the Chinese. Granted that there are some groupings in
scattered localities and spiritual guidance from different sources,
yet there is no community that could respond to many basic needs. The
family must live in a society, and unless an Islamic community is
created, the Muslim family will have no alternative but to merge in a
non-Muslim one.
The danger is so imminent that it forms the major part of the family
problems in the United States. Both adults and children are influenced
by American values and traditions, and by American behavior and
manners. There is no escape from this "assimilation" except by
strengthening the family bonds and by steadfast observation of Islamic
teachings. The husband must lead here by strict adherence to Islamic
ways of life and by requiring the same from his wife.
Such are the sex-roles in Islam and the main problems facing Muslim
families in the United States and, indeed, in all non-Muslim
countries. The solutions mentioned above entirely depend upon the
faith of the spouses and their earnest desire to live up to their
religion. Allah, according to the Holy Quran, has made men in charge
of their wives, has ordered them to maintain and protect them and has
ordered women to obey their husbands and guard their secrets (see
4:34, 35). As for those spouses who claim the right to twist the
meanings of Quranic texts so as to suit their personal desires, and
those who try to subject Islam to non-Islamic laws are sick in their
hearts and are transgressors. Most probably, such persons would not
like to read this essay, though we pray to Allah to guide them to the
right way:"Say: This is my Way: I call on Allah with sure knowledge
and (so does) whosoever follows me - glory be to Allah! and I am not
of the idolaters"(12:108).
NOTES
1. L. Cadmure and L. Larson, "The Center of Life," The New York
Times Book Co., 1977, p. 8.
2. Ibid., p. 9.
3. Ibid., p. 28.
4. Ibid., p. 38.
5. 1. R. Symthies, "Brain Mechanisms and Behavior." New York:
Academic Press, 1970, p. 156.
6. Shirley Weitz, "Sex Roles." New York: Oxford University Press,
1977, p. 7.
7. K. E. Moyer, "Sex Difference in Aggression." Quoted in R. C.
Friedman, R. M. Richart, R. L. Vande Wiele, eds., "Sex Differences in
Behavior," Wile, 1974, p. 156.
8. Weitz, op. cit., p. 42.
9. D. B. Lynn, "The Father: His Role in Child Development,"
Monterey, CA: Brooks Cole, 1974, pp. 14-21.
10. Weitz, op. cit., p. 42.
1 1. M. A. Diamond, "A Critical Evaluation of the Ontogeny of
Human Sexual Behavior," Quarterly Review of Biology, 50 (1965), pp.
147-175.
12. Weitz, op. cit., p. 5.
13. Cadmure, op. cit., p. 8.
14. Ibid., p. 39.
15. Hammudah Abd al-Ati, "The Family Structure in Islam." Indiana:
American Trust Publications, 1977, p. 19.
16. Ibid., pp. 54-55.
17. Lately a few states have allowed married women to use their
maiden names.
18. R. H. Williams (ed). To Live and To Die. "Marriage: Whence and
Whither," NY- Springer-Verlad, 1973, p. 298.
19. Ibid., p. 299.
20. Ibid., p. 304.
21. Tafsir al-Manar, vol. 5, p. 68 ff.
22. Abd al-Ati, op. cit., pp. 172-173. These rights and obligations are
corroborated by the Quran and Hadith.

Islamic Marriage Articles, - Sex Roles in Muslim Families in the U.S.

The first half of this article is a highly scientific analysis of
gender and sex roles. In the second half, the article uses the
scientific discussion as a springboard to explain gender and sex roles
within the Muslim family.
ORIGIN OF THE FAMILY : BIOLOGICAL FACTOR
Unless sex education addresses "values, morality, deferment of
gratification, and goals, it is incomplete and potentially dangerous."
Donald Ian Macdonald.
An Approach to the Prevention of
Teenage Pregnancy,
Public Health Report,
July/August 1987
Sociologists give different definitions of the family institution to
which we shall refer later. However, and for the purpose of this
essay, we shall consider that the basic biological coupling of a male
and a female is an essential element to constitute a family, as
homosexuality does not exist in nature.
THE CELL
Biologically speaking, all living things are made of just two kinds of
cells: eukaryotes and prokaryotes. The first ones are those cells
which have nuclei and multiply by mating or marriage. The second, the
prokaryotes, are those which have no nuclei and accordingly are
unicellular, multiplying by division. Each cell has its hereditary
traits and carries its information in DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid). ".
. . two extremely long strands of it, wrapped around each other in a
double helix."' It is of fascinating interest to know that only the
eukaryotes are "capable of making up the bodies of the marvels of
creation-those with hearts, lungs, kidneys and brains.112 The
prokaryotes are parasitic by nature and are deadly enemies of the
eukaryotes who eat them up or destroy them with their enzymatic
secretions. Human organisms are no more than the sum of their cells
functioning together.
Sex, a word for the exchange of genetic material, requires two
organisms to come together and reproduce. Though there are some
organisms that can reproduce without sex, such as some bacteria, their
progeny are doomed to be identical to the parent without variation or
susceptibility to evolution. Evolution needs genetic variety which can
only be realized by means of ever new combinations of genes of
heterosexual cells-the eukaryotes.
Before exploring the functioning of cells as constituents of human
males and females, it is of great interest to know that cells
themselves are the product of atoms. Atoms follow an eternal strict
code of behavior as if they had some sort of consciousness that brings
them together in a highly organized manner. They form molecules in
extraordinarily geometric forms; molecules make "tissues that become
the organs that inexorably build the organism.. Every molecule has its
own distinct properties by virtue of the atoms that make it up and...
life has its properties by virtue of the molecule used in constructing
living organisms."113All living organisms, including bacteria, must
use nucleic acid organized into genes for reproduction. The genes are
the true carriers of all hereditary traits and properties of the
offspring.
Such established elementary knowledge reveals some basic facts of life
that concern us in this study. The first fact is that prokaryotes-the
unicellular organisms-are parasitic and destructive. They are not
capable of evolution and do not constitute any part of our functioning
organisms.
The second is that eukaryotes cannot continue to exist without
marriage as they multiply by means of coupling. Their union is the
basis of evolution to the better through a process of natural
selection. They are endowed with a gift to choose the fittest from
among themselves and thus genetically improve.
The third is that all molecules belong in their first origin to the
atom, which by virtue of its nature does not exist without union. The
components of the atom: the protons, the neutrons, and the electrons
are likewise bound to unite.
Thus, marriage is simply a law of existence, an inherent property
ingrained in our cells and constitution without which we cannot
continue to live or evolve. In each cellular marriage there must be
the male and the female, or the positive which gives in mating to the
negative which takes. In the world of the cell, which is our world,
everything goes on progressing in meticulous order. Order defines the
cell as the cell defines life- "Before there was life, there had to be
a system... there has to be order. . . it is life... Death is
disorder."
HUMAN BIOLOGY
Much has been discovered about the cell, its composition, its
functioning and its reproduction yet nobody has been able to guess how
the first cell came into being. The eukaryotes, as mentioned before,
are highly organized and highly specialized cells that build our body
and, in fact, bring us into life. Every cell is composed of several
layers above layers of molecules separated by membranes, and in its
middle there is the nucleus ringed by double membrane. The nucleus
holds the genes-the ultimate dictators of the cell-wound into the
coils of chromosomes.
Humans reproduce through the union of a male and a female cell,
exactly as any other offspring is reproduced. When fertilization
(union or mating) takes place, a new cell is formed and the sex,
together with the physical structure, including the brain, are
determined by the genes united in the new cell. Both males and females
have the same basis of a chromosome (X). But from the very beginning,
if this basis is coupled with one (X) chromosome or more, the
offspring is a female. If the basis is coupled with one chromosome (Y)
or more, it is a male.
Once the new cell is "born," it starts functioning on its own,
activated by its inherent power administered by the new set of genes,
and is called, in this early stage, a zygote. Soon after inception,
male embryos secrete a predominant hormone called androgen, while
female ones secrete estrogen, and later on the female hormones: the
progesterone and the prolactin. The growth of the embryo, whether male
or female, follows the same laws of growth: the reproduction of the
specialized cells continues building up our different organs, without
any deviation except for hormonal secretions. By the time the child is
born, he or she has already been influenced by the most active
hormones which affect the functioning of the brain.
The human brain is one of the greatest wonders of creation. In its
lower part, there is a small zone called the "limbic system," composed
of structures which are involved in both human emotion and motivation.
One of these structures, named amygdala, is among the major brain
parts responsible for our behavior, as it affects some endocrinal
secretions, especially those touching upon our sexual dispositions.
Moreover, "the cortex also feeds it (the limbic system) with condensed
indications of cortical activity, including categorized
representations of the state of the external world. It appraises and
evaluates the activities of (the upper brain -system)... and balances
current priorities with regard to short term and long-term needs of
the organism and the selection and evaluation of different integrative
activities."
It is well-established that the structure called "hypothalamus" of the
limbic system is prenatally formed and becomes indelibly 'sex-typed'
through the action of sex-hormones, thereby permanently pre-disposing
the animal to male or female physiological and behavioral responses.
In most animals this critical period of hormone action is thought to
occur prenatally and thereafter be immutable. "This irrevocable
hormonal sex- typing of the nervous system has the most far-reaching
implications for sex differences in human behavior."This means that
from the earliest days of conception the new fertilized cell or zygote
our brain starts its formation, disposition and mode of functioning.
When born, an infant carries within himself or herself its own
particular way of thinking, imagination, motivation and manner of
evaluation. Even among individuals of the same sex, there are genetic
inherent differences due to the differences in the rates of flow of
hormones into the brain. Chromosome (Y) is responsible for the male
hormones androgen, which are associated with what the psychologists
call the "aggressive" tendency, meaning that type of behavior which is
generally characterized by a direct and overt reaction, competitive
acumen, and long-term evaluation and perception. The term implies,
also some final and actual aggressive action which, unless well
disciplined, would cause destructive consequences. As a matter of
biological fact, such hormones in a male embryo rely on a hormone
called "gonadal" which accounts for the behavioral differences between
the two sexes and which is thought to influence the behavioral
decisions issued by the brain.
In the female, sex hormones are responsible for the menstrual flow
which is directly regulated by the key female hormones: estrogen and
progesterone. Less secretion of these hormones causes menstruation
usually accompanied by a state of discomfort, inhibition, and often
gloomy attitudes. It is believed that the hormonal input in this case
affects the functioning of the brain of the female, inhibiting or
reviving her emotional state. Biologists emphasize the fact that the
natural disposition in human is to a female system (X) unless broken
by the male chromosome (Y) causing production of the male hormone:
androgen.
Aggression - as previously defined - is the product of the testestrone
hormone, androgen, a hormone that exists in the supra-renal glands of
both sexes but, of course, in widely varied quantities. Aggression in
women is mostly due to an overdose of this hormone, unless the woman
is suffering from some societal trauma. A violently aggressive man is
like- wise greatly motivated by an extra dose of androgen. If such a
man is given estrogen, he would calm down in most cases and develop a
new more docile behavior. In transsexuality, the individual who
chooses to become a female undergoes surgical intervention and female
hormone therapy without which femininity cannot take its usual course.
Hormones, in such circumstances, are necessary to build up the breast,
to stimulate sexual desires, to eliminate profuse facial and body
hair, etc. Once the new female is given such hormonal treatment, her
limbic system functions accordingly: The maternal instinct becomes
greatly felt, the desire for talking more becomes more persistent, the
feminine emotionality supersedes rationality, and the lachrymatal
glands secrete more profuse tears during emotional stress. Nothing,
perhaps, can be more convincing of the biological dichotomy than
maternity. Weitz writes, "Animal evidence does support the concept of
the maternal instinct, in that female sex hormones such as estrogen,
progesterone and prolactin seem to be implicated in the ontogeny of
maternal behavior." The same author relates the experiment of the
monkey-mother who killed its newly born babies when given androgen and
the motherly monkey-father who cared for the babies after receiving
female hormones. Nowhere in the animal kingdom do fathers assume the
basic role of caring for the newly born offspring.
A female child is born with a maternal instinct: she distinctly feels
a strong interest in children and this explains why girls prefer to
play with dolls. It has been established that girls with an excess of
prenatal androgen "do seem to show less interest in infants than
normal girls," and obviously more than normal boys. The maternity
behavior is mainly characterized by tenderness, affective bonds,
self-preservation, protectiveness, and self-identification with the
child.
To conclude, one can safely say that, "Sexual behavior of an
individual, and thus gender role, are not neutral and without initial
direction at birth. Nevertheless, sexual predisposition is only a
potentiality setting limits to a pattern that is greatly modifiable by
ontogenetic experience."
In other words, the ontogeny (i.e. the biological development of the
individual organism) asserts that a female is born with a maternal
instinct carrying genetic predispositions different from those of a
male. It is of interest to note that there is differential treatment
of children by parents according to their sex. Mothers are more
inclined to tolerate boys and girls, while fathers are more tolerant
towards girls than towards boys. This phenomenon prevails among humans
and some primates and is quite conspicuous among monkeys.
SOCIALIZATION FACTORS
"Conspiracy theories of history, which seem to imply that men have
kept women down over the centuries through some collective act of
will, do not merit serious consideration." There is no doubt that our
physiological functioning is affected by our psychological and
societal conditions and that biology, psychology and society have
contributed to the present sex roles in their different grades and
limits. It is rather impossible to separate the biological factor from
the societal. Yet, one has to take into serious consideration that
there is a definite predisposition in each sex that takes place in the
embryo and the fetus. This prenatal conditioning cannot be due to any
societal agent, but most probably can be a major cause of societal
differential treatment of the sexes. When parents give a doll to their
daughter, they are aware of her instinctive motherly feeling and they
are responding to her instinctive desires. Instinctive urges can be
mollified, re-oriented and mitigated, but never nullified or totally
wiped out. To suppress such urges is to cause more harm than good to
the individual and to ignore them is to push the child in a wrong way
where he or she tries to fulfill the desires by any means, legitimate
or illegitimate, socially acceptable or unacceptable.
Socialization agents, namely: the parents, the school, the peers and
the social symbols of the sexes, are supposed to be, and in fact
should be, factors of disciplining the instinctive behavior. Our basic
sexual desires should be satisfied by marriage and not by adultery and
fornication. Our instinctive need for security should be met by
honorable work and lawful gain and not by theft and violence. Even our
innate instinct implanted in the eukaryotes for evolving to the better
must be encouraged through a proper education leading to a feeling of
self-esteem and elation. Failing this, the individual would resort to
unhealthy and even anti-social practices to feel the importance of his
ego he or she may develop the bad habits of lying, boasting, or even
killing. Any infringement upon instincts is a violation of a natural
law of life that conduces to masochism, narcissism, schizophrenia and
the rest of the psychotic ailments.
The family has a lasting effect on sex roles as most of the
individual's latent behavior is basically formulated in the first
seven or eight years of childhood. The major role of parents relates
to the child's identification where affective bonds, mechanism of
modeling and cognitive categorization should be carefully observed.
Here the question generally raised by the "libs" is whether parents
should or should not differentiate in their treatment between males
and females. Many of them believe that they should not heed the sex
and thus should treat both the boy and the girl as if they were of the
same sex. They allege that any differentiation at this early stage
leads to some category of inferiority complex in the girl and to a
bias in favor of the boy. There is enough evidence in everyday life
that supports such allegations. However, any fair mind can easily see
that it is not the differentiation, per se, that causes such
inhibition in the girl, if only because differentiation occurs in
families which have girls and no boys. Every individual child is
different from others and should accordingly be treated differently.
What hurts a child is the way parents associate differentiation with
sex. If a doll is given to a grid it is not because she is inferior to
a boy who was presented with a horse or a gun. Girls would only suffer
inhibition and inferiority if the parents treat them as inferior, or
if when differentiating between both of them, parents explain the act
in preferential language.
Another important factor in socialization is the school infants in
nurseries, children in kindergarten and boys and girls in higher age
brackets are treated differently in one way or another, in accordance
with their sex. In pictures for the very young, in all books and
prints, there is always a "he" and a "she." He is tough, daring,
exterior-oriented, and somehow aggressive, while she is kind, caring,
child-loving, interior oriented, and somehow self preservative. Then,
there are the great differentiation in students' activities: the boys
compete in physically rough and hard sports, participate in political
and social discussions, and are expected to excel girls in empirical
sciences. On the other hand, girls practice dancing and singing, fight
and non-violent sports, domestic arts, and are expected to excel boys
in artistic sciences.
Here again differentiation is undeniably conspicuous and while it is
in essence compatible with human biology, it is condemned by the
"libs." Their plea is always the same: such treatment leads to the
development of a feeling of inferiority in the female. It
indoctrinates the subconscious mind of the girl with a view to
convince her of the conspired falsehood, i.e., the superiority of the
male. The "libs" believe that keeping the "traditional roles" of sexes
in the school gives an edge to the boy over the girl: he is depicted
as the hero, the protector, the leader and even the mastery. This
seems to be an exaggeration which has its roots in feminine emotion.
In many cases, the slave-mind prevails over the "libs" and is
manifested in irrational and perverted behavior.
The staunchest proponent of liberalism cannot deny that the male is
created with more muscular strength, that biologically speaking, he is
more "aggressive '" that his mind is more outwardly inclined, and that
he is more free from physiological cyclical effects. The female is
created with other exceliencies anti-distinctions by virtue of her
constitution. Her motherhood instincts, her feminine tenderness and
her physiologically receptive aptitude for procreation. These clear
facts should induce us to accept, at least, such differentiation that
confirm anti correspond with the distinct natural characteristics of
each sex. It follows that there must be differentiation in all schools
to respond to these basic biological divergent requirements.
The so-called peer group effects and the symbolic agents of sex roles
are very akin to each other, especially among adults. Clubs of men and
women, the distinction in public behavior and the discriminatory
treatment of the sexes in many public and social functions do exist in
all present societies. One has to admit that some of this
differentiation is due to societal factors and/or obsolete inherited
tradition. But one cannot also deny that there are genuine irrefutable
reasons for differentiation in this field. Despite the equal
opportunities open to both sexes in education and public life, women
have been active in fields that do not require much "aggressiveness,"
and where there is a concurrence of biological effect and societal
functioning. In such activities there is no reason whatsoever for a
woman not to succeed and even excel any man.
SOCIALIZATION VERSUS BIOLOGY
There is evidence that socialization factors, when carried out
extensively at an early age, affect the biological functioning of the
child. That is how we notice the 'sissy' boy and the 'tomboyish' girl.
Also, oversecretion of female hormones in a male would produce the
same effect, despite any socialization effort to the contrary. In both
cases, the situation becomes unhealthy and the individual suffers from
some perversion and could develop trans-sexualism. The correct
attitude is obvious: we have to adapt our socialization processes in
such a manner that they correspond to our biological functioning. The
indelible male and female characteristics installed in our limbic
systems as a result of the prenatal hormonal secretions must be the
basis of our socialization process. There must be harmony between the
act of creation (natural state) and the willful human action. Failing
this, a grave imbalance takes place, shaking the personality of the
individual to its very roots. Thus, the "libs" claim for identical
treatment of males and females in every domain denies the biological
constitution of the human mind and body and nullifies masculinity and
femininity. Homosexuality, which at present is assuming some
prominence in industrialized Western societies, is the product of
lopsided thinking and is bound to fail. It is a revolt against the law
of creation and will not be allowed to prevail, whatever price
humanity may pay for it.
A female must be brought up in a manner that makes her feel proud of
her femininity and not ashamed of it. She must be treated with equity
but she must not be equated to the male. They are different and can
never be equals, as each of them has a domain predestined from his or
her conception.
STRUCTURE AND FUNCTION OF THE FAMILY
We have seen that there is no continuity of life without marriage-a
union between male and female -a nd that life is order. Death is
entropy or disorder. In Cadmure's words: "Life is mainly to reproduce
and to feel." The marriage of cells which constitute our body, brain,
and nerves is a highly organized "institution" administered by
sophisticated laws and geared by strict discipline. Humans are no more
than their cells, and the rule of order and discipline is the essence
of their existence. Any violation of this rule is a step towards
entropy or self-destruction.
As we live, we reproduce - we marry. Humans learn to live in
heterogeneous couples and reproduce within a certain orderly social
framework called the "family institution." The word "social" here is
not a mere fabrication by man. It is necessarily biological in the
sense that one human cell cannot alienate itself from other similar
cells. Whenever a group of cells (families) comes together, the
necessity for order and discipline becomes incumbent. Hence those who
believe that there should be-or even could be-a society of human cells
(families) without rules administering the relationships between its
individuals, are asking for the impossible, the anti-natural. Such a
chaotic grouping does not exist in nature.
Oparin, a Russian biologist, proved that if a collection of molecules
(he calls them coacervates) is given a chance to act, they have order.
He set a chemical reaction in the solution where these coacervates
were floating and found that they formed an inexplicable and
unpredicted order: heads outward and tails inward. There was a
mystifying difference between the rate of reaction outside and inside
the coacervates. According to Oparin, "This difference accounts for
the formation of the cell."
Sociologically speaking, a family is operationally defined as "...a
special kind of structure whose principals are related to one another
through blood ties and/or marital relationships, and whose relatedness
is of such a nature as to entail 'mutual expectations' that are
prescribed by religion, reinforced by law, and internalized by the
individual." This definition takes into account the general aspect of
any family and the Islamic point of view. Dr. Abd al-Ati, accordingly
specifies the purposes of marriage as:
-a means of emotional and sexual gratification,
-a mechanism of tension reduction,
-a means of legitimate procreation,
-social placement,
-an approach to inter-family alliance and group solidarity, and
-above all, an act of piety.
Both above definitions and purposes are quite elaborate and comprise
many views about the functions of the family. Nevertheless, there is
the intricate cause and effect relationship between the family and
society.
The culture of any society comprises many traditions installed in its
individuals' minds and which are passed on from one generation to
another. As man is conservative by instinct, he does not try to change
such traditions except under the great pressure of evolutionary
requirements. This perpetual struggle between the two instincts:
conservatism and evolution plays an important role in delimiting the
functions of the family institution in every society. Both instincts
are dynamic and must be kept in good balance for any sane society to
develop. Traditions constitute a part of the established ideology of a
people, whilst evolution is the active element that steers the present
status towards a future one, and as such, it formulates another part
of the ideology. Amidst this continuous process the family exists,
caught between the two parts. The family is there to conserve what is
best and most appropriate in tradition, and to adopt and practice what
is best and most appropriate in the new evolution.
To apply the above philosophy, functions, and definitions to the
Muslim family in the States, we come immediately to a host of
variegated and intertwined problems. Islam is integral and Muslims are
supposed to adopt it in its entirety."Believe ye in part of the
Scripture and disbelieve ye in part thereof? And what is the reward of
those who do so save ignominy in the life of this world, and on the
Day of Resurrection they will be consigned to the most grievous
doom."(2:85)
Accordingly, they are required to apply Islamic laws concerning all
matrimonial matters. Yet, being residents in a non-Muslim country
which does not follow the Islamic Shariah, they are bound to meet with
a complex of contradictory situations. Such complication is
exacerbated by the lack of consolidated Muslim communities and the
absence of any Islamic order that could help solve their problems.
To start with, there is the problem of the marriage contract. Muslims
who intend to live here for a protracted length of time or forever are
obliged to register their marriage in accordance with the laws of the
state in which they wed. Once this is done, the rights and obligations
of both spouses are defined by what these laws stipulate and not by
Islamic injunctions. This applies, in fact, to all subsequent familial
issues. The husband's financial obligation towards his wife and
household, the wife's duties towards her husband and household, and
the social code which should be observed by both-all these important
issues become subject to local American jurisprudence. In case of
divorce, it is again the state laws that adjudge the final separation
act irrespective of the Islamic injunctions.
Another important issue that affects the Muslim family in the States
is the economic status. In many cases, both spouses are obliged to
work and gain more income to make ends meet and to save something as a
security for the future. This economic aspect is very common to most
American families and is taken for granted by them, with its good and
bad effects. It does not constitute a major problem to them as it is
consistent with their material civilization and ideology. Westerners
have developed a certain philosophy of life in regard to the status of
women as a result of their past heritage and present industrialized
societies. It is common knowledge that Athenians treated women as a
commodity which could be bought and sold. The Romans considered women
to be the property of the father and/or the husband until the days of
Justinian (5th century) when some separate identity of women was
legally acknowledged. Judaism looks down upon women as a curse worse
than death and considers them essentially evil. The Christian views on
women varied from considering them to be living beings without souls
to humans without identity. The British law until 1801 allowed the
husband to sell his wife. The list of historical abuses of women in
the West is too long to be enumerated in this paper.
It is only very recently that non-Muslim societies agreed to give
women some independent status. Even today, the renowned liberal
American wife cannot buy property without the consent of her husband
nor is she allowed to stick to her maiden name without adding that of
her husbands. In Switzerland, she cannot enter into any contractual
transaction without her husband's written consent, and if she earns
any money from her work, he is legally entitled to half her income.
All over the West, the husband can deprive his wife of his legacy
after death.
No wonder, then, we hear women claiming "equality" with man and
justice in treatment. The present culture, predominantly influenced by
the economic or materialistic agent, gave justice, equality and
liberation a material implications pecuniary value. In their
industrial age where money is power, where rich is good and poor is
bad, where dog eat dog are accepted premises of individuals'
interrelations, and where moral values have been dumped into the
garbage bin, women are contending for economic independence as a basis
for their claim for equal human rights.
To achieve this end, they did not mind the commercialization of their
femininity, the loss of their chastity, the destruction of their
family and the perturbation of their emotions. This yearning for
liberation pushed the Western woman into deep waters. Her desire for
independence dragged her into competition and aggression, and her
pride alienated her from the affectionate society. In her solitude,
she accepted permissiveness and along with her struggle for survival,
she nurtured bitterness and rancor. In the midst of her secular
preoccupation, she suppressed her spiritual values and trod on her
motherly instincts.
The American concept of family and marriage has undergone radical
change in the last few decades. Originally, as Edward Westermack puts
it, "Marriage is rooted in the family and not the family in marriage."
The family in turn was the foundation of society. Hence, the
regulation of all family relations was considered a necessity called
for by two fundamental exigencies: wholesome human procreation and
preservation of society.
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to be continued..