Dought & clear, - The ruling on doing the marriage contract inthe presence of the wali(guardian) but with the proposal and acceptance done between the husband and wife

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According to Tunisian personal law, there is no stipulation that the guardian should give permission for the marriage, and when registering the civil marriage contract, the official begins this contract by asking the groom: Do you accept marriage to So and so, and he replies by saying yes. Then he asks the bride: Do you accept marriage to So and so, and she replied by saying yes. This is done in the presence of the guardian in most cases, i.e., he agrees to this marriage, and in the presence of two witnesses, but there is no proposal and acceptance in the customary form.
Our question is: is this marriage contract considered valid, or should there also be the proposal and acceptance between the husband and the guardian in the customary manner?
Praise be to Allah
One of the conditions of the marriage contract being valid is the proposal and acceptance.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The proposal is the words uttered by the wali or his proxy, and the acceptance is the words uttered by the husband or his proxy.
So for example the guardian, such as the father, brother, and so on, says: I give my daughter (or sister) to you in marriage; this is the proposal, and the acceptance is the words uttered by the husband or his proxy.
The one who may take the place of the guardian is his proxy or representative, who is the person to whom he has given permission to act on his behalf whilst he is still alive [like power of attorney]. For example, he can say: I appoint you to act on my behalf in giving my daughter in marriage.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/37
If the proposal comes from the woman, the marriage contract is not valid, even if it is in the presence of her guardian and with his approval. This is the view of the majority of scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) and this is the view favoured by this website.
The Hanafis are of the view that it is valid for a woman to give herself in marriage. For more information, please see the answers to questions no. 7989, 97117, 126569
But because this matter is the subject of a difference of scholarly opinion, and the people and courts of your country follow the Hanafi madhhab in this issue, then the marriage that was done in this manner is valid, and there is no requirement to repeat it, because the ruling of the authorities is to be followed and the issue is no longer to be regarded as controversial. al-Bahooti (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If a woman gives herself or someone else – such as her slave woman, daughter or sister and so on – in marriage, or the woman appointed someone other than her guardian to give her in marriage, even if that was with the permission of her guardian, the marriage is not valid because its conditions were not fulfilled.
But if a judge rules it to be valid, it is not to be annulled, or if the one who did the marriage contract was a judge who thought that it was valid, it is not to be annulled.
The same applies to all invalid marriages: if they are not regarded as invalid by the one who did them they are not to be annulled, because this is a matter that is subject to ijtihaad, therefore it is not to be annulled if it is deemed to be correct by the one who did it.
End quote fromKashfal-Qinnaa‘, 5/49
However, what is required is to do future marriage contracts in the manner dictated by the Sunnah and approved of by the majority of scholars. So the marriage done in this manner (in which it is stipulated that the marriage contract he done by the guardian) is valid according to scholarly consensus, because it is a precaution to safeguard chastity and avoid a matter concerning which there is a scholarly difference of opinion, unlike the marriage contract which is not done by the guardian as required in sharee‘ah, which the majority of scholars do not regard as valid.
Here it is essential to differentiate between marriages that have already taken place and were deemed to be valid, and people based their actions on that, and future marriages (in which care should be taken to do them in the manner approved of by the majority of scholars).
And Allah knows best.

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Dought & clear, - Her husband died and she has some questions about her children, their inheritance and maintenance, and can she remain a widow?

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I am 24 yrs old and my husband was 28 yrs old. He died in a car accident couple months ago; Allah yarhama wa sakina to the highest stage of heavens inshAllah. I am very very depressed cuz we are too young and have 2 boys. Before my husband died he bought us a house and a third of a halal gas station. I have many questions in my mind and i understood when u said do not write more than 1 question but i am going through alot now and i want to do what is best for the Allah(swt). I do not want Allah(swt) to hate me if i did something wrong this is why i am seeking help from u guys to get my questions answered.. My husbands family is in Yemen and i brought my husband to the United States. So i live in the United States. But as for the halal gas station; i hear it goes to my kids since they are boys; but i am tryin to do what is good so i decided to let the gas station run and split the income half for me and my kids and half for his family in Yemen..like i said i dont want Allah(swt) to hate me if this is wrong cuz he used to support his family in Yemen...also at what age should i give them their wealth..I also want to know if i am allowed to ask Allah (swt) to keep me as a widow until we reunite inshAllah in Jannah..i know i am too young but i love my husband so much and i only want to be with him and no one else...and is it true if i raise my orphan children as good as i can in Islam i may be able to go to heaven with Muhammad (saw)(PBUH)...and since i live in the USA i get social security income from the government am i allowed to use some of that money to Hajj for myself and for my husband; i will try to use as much money from the gas station to Hajj but if i didnt make enough money is it ok if i use money from the government...is my husband considered a shaheed since he died from a drunk driving car accident...i hope Allah(swt) reunites us together in the hereafter...i also want to know if i am allowed to visit my husbands grave with my kids and last question what is the best way to raise my boys in an Islamic way; one is 4 yrs old and one is a 1 yr old...
Praise be to Allah
May Allah increase your reward and have mercy on your husband; may He grant you patience and help you to raise your children.
The answers to your questions are as follows:
Firstly:
Whatever your husband has left behind of wealth, property, a business and so on belongs to his heirs, who are: you, your two children, your husband’s father or grandfather, and also his mother or grandmother if they are still alive.
Your portion of his share in the gas station – and any other wealth he left behind – is one eighth, and the rest goes to your children, unless your husband’s father is alive, in which case he has one sixth, or if his mother is alive, she has one sixth. The grandfather takes the father’s share if the father is not alive, and the grandmother takes the mother’s share if she is not alive.
Secondly:
You have to look after your children’s wealth and you should invest it in a way that will benefit them. It is not permissible to give it to them until they reach maturity. See the answer to question no. 13262
Thirdly:
Your kindness towards your husband’s family is a righteous deed, but it should be from your wealth and your share of the gas station. It is not permissible to give it from your children’s share, because the one who is looking after an orphan’s property has no right to give charity or gifts from it.
Fourthly:
You should not ask Allah, may He be exalted, to let you remain a widow, because this is contrary to what is encouraged in Islam. Rather you should get married, and ask Allah for a righteous husband, because of the many benefits and noble purposes of marriage, which include: seeking to have righteous children and form a Muslim family; protecting oneself from falling into haraam or into the traps of the Shaytaan; and strengthening the bonds between Muslims through ties of marriage. If someone proposes to you who is religiously committed and of good character, and you think it most likely that he will take care of your children and help you to bring them up, then you should accept him. This is better for you than remaining without a husband, especially at your age and in the country where you are living.
Fifthly:
Sponsoring orphans, bringing them up and helping them are among the greatest means of drawing closer to Allah, and they are a means of being with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) in Paradise.
It was narrated from Sahl ibn Sa‘d that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “I and the one who sponsors an orphan will be in paradise like this”– and he gestured with his forefinger and middle finger (to signify closeness).
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5659
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:“The one who sponsors an orphan, whether it is a relative of his or not, he and I will be like these two in Paradise,” and Maalik pointed with his forefinger and middle finger.
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:With regard to the phrase “whether he is related to him or not”, “related to him” means if he is a relative, such as his grandfather, mother, grandmother, brother, sister, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, or other relatives. “Or not (related to him)” means if he is a stranger (a non-relative).Sharh Muslim, 18/113.
See the answer to question no. 47061
Sixthly:
There is nothing wrong with you benefiting from Social Security and using that money to go for Hajj, so long as you are entitled to it according to the conditions laid out by the government.
Seventhly:
If a person dies in a car accident, there is the hope that he will be a shaheed (martyr), because he is like one who dies beneath a collapsed building. Please see the answer to question no. 45669
Eighthly:
There is a difference of scholarly opinion concerning women visiting graves. Some of them say that it is permissible, some say that it is makrooh (disliked) and some say that it is haraam (prohibited). If you refrain from doing that, that will be better for you and more on the safe side, especially in this situation you describe, when the calamity is still recent. Such actions will stir up your grief again and may cause you to do something that is contrary to Islamic teaching.
Please see the answer to question no. 8198
There is nothing wrong with your children visiting their father’s grave, because visiting graves is mustahabb (encouraged) for people other than women.
Ninthly:
You must pay close attention to your children at this age, and bring them up with good morals and values. Teach them to memorise the Book of Allah, may He be exalted, and to love good; make them get used to offering prayer regularly. You should also get in touch with Islamic centres and some righteous sisters; this will be very good for you and your children.
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to help and guide you.
And Allah knows best.

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Dought & clear, - Ruling on reciting ruqyah in unison over sick people

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In my mosque, they always recite ruqyah for the sick; no week goes by without the mosque announcing a request for volunteers to recite ruqyah for someone. Usually they form a circle around the person and recite Qur’an, either by sharing out the ajza’ (parts) of the Qur’an, or one person recites some soorahs of the Qur’an, whilst the others repeat after him. Sometimes they recite Qur’an for blessing after divorce, graduation from school or a number of other things that I have seen myself. Or they pass out books of supplications (du‘aa’s) and verses to be recited during this gathering, but they do not provide any evidence for what they are doing. Sometimes in these circles there is mixing with women. I also attended a gathering in which they recited the basmalah (the phrase Bismillah ir-Rahmaan ir-Raheem (in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful) over some water, then they began to sprinkle it on the members of a family. Can you tell me whether these practices are permissible or innovated? I have stopped attending these gatherings altogether. Is there any book on the fiqh of ruqyah and ta‘weedh (seeking refuge with Allah from the Shaytan)? Can we use ruqyah for trivial things such as divorce and graduation?
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
It is not correct to make ruqyah something widespread that is done by everyone. How many there will be among these volunteers who do not recite Qur’an well or do not understand its meanings! Based on that, this is the first problem with what these people are doing of asking volunteers to perform ruqyah for the sick. Most of them may not be qualified for that, and they (the organizers) will not have fulfilled the conditions that must be met by the raaqi (the one who performs ruqyah).
See the answer to question no. 7874
Secondly:
There is no basis in Islam for reciting ruqyah in a group, as far as we know, whether that is done by reciting it in unison or repeating it after one of them. This is not the way to perform ruqyah. What is normally done with regard to ruqyah is that it is done by one person who recites over the sick person the ruqyah that is Islamically prescribed; there is no reason why someone else should not help him if he becomes tired or he stops, so that the other person may perform ruqyah for the sick person after him. But with regard to more than one person reciting in unison or repeating after a reciter or raaqi, this is something for which there is no basis in Islam, as stated above, and it does not come under the heading of treating the sick with ruqyah. With regard to recitation of the Islamically prescribed ruqyah by a particular reciter or raaqi over water, which is then used to wash the sick person or given to him to drink, that is permissible. We have discussed this in the answer to question no. 96793
Thirdly:
Recitation of Qur’an on the occasion mentioned (in the question) and similar occasions is something for which there is no basis in the Sunnah, whether that is recitation of a random passage from the Qur’an or recitation of al-Faatihah in particular on some occasion, because the basic principle with regard to acts of worship is that they are based on tawqeef[i.e., they can only be known through divine Revelation and sound texts of hadeeth, with no room for ijtihaad]. There were (among the early generation) occasions such as divorce, marriage and so on, during which not a single letter of the Qur’an, al-Faatihah or anything else, was recited by the people present. All goodness is in following the earlier generations and all evil is in following innovations introduced by those who came after them.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: al-Faatihah and other specific soorahs are only to be recited in the cases prescribed by Islam. If they are recited in other cases as an act of worship, then this is regarded as an innovation. We have seen many people reciting al-Faatihah on all occasions; we have even heard people saying, “Recite al-Faatihah for the deceased” or “for such and such” and so on. All of this comes under the heading of reprehensible innovations. Al-Faatihah and other soorahs are not to be recited in all situations, in all places and at all times, and we should object to the one who does that.
End quote fromFataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, tape no. 371
See also the answer to question no. 147645
Fourthly:
Mixing of men and women is haraam and reprehensible; the prohibition is more emphatic and the abhorrent nature of the act is greater if that mixing takes place in one of the houses of Allah and is done openly and attributed to Islam! We have quoted the evidence for the prohibition on mixing in the answer to question no. 1200
What appears to us to be the case from the questions asked by the brother is that the people who do these actions and supervise them are not people of knowledge; he should explain to them the mistakes that they are making and show them this answer of ours, in the hope that Allah will guide them to give up what they are doing wrong; you should also be gentle in telling them not to do it. May Allah guide and help you.
And Allah knows best.

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