The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, used to invoke Allaah The
Exalted saying:"Allaahumma anta rabbi la ilaaha illa ant, khalaqtani
wa ana 'abduk, wa ana 'ala 'ahdika wa wa'dika mastata't, a'oothu bika
min sharri maa sana't, aboo'u laka bini'matika, wa aboo'u laka
bithanbi faghfir lee fa innahoo la yaghfiru ath-thunooba illa ant )O
Allaah, You are my Lord, there is none worthy of worship except You.
You Created me and I am Your slave; and I abide by Your Covenant and
Promise as best I can. I take refuge in You from the evil that I
committed and I am grateful to You for the blessing that You Conferred
on me. I acknowledge my sin, so forgive me, for verily none can
forgive sins except You(."]Al-Bukhaari[ The Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, also said,"Allaahumma inni a'oothu bika min ash
shiqaaqi wan nifaaqi wa soo'u al akhlaaq )O Allaah, I seek refuge with
you from dissension, hypocrisy and bad morals."]An-Nasaa'i[
• Avoiding exaggeration in making an invocation rhyme: A Muslim should
not exaggerate in making a supplication rhyme because this is a state
of humility and submissiveness. Ibn 'Abbaas, May Allaah Be Pleased
with him, said, "Avoid rhymes in supplication for the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and his Companions, May Allaah Be
Pleased with them, used to avoid it." ]Al-Bukhaari[
Some of the righteous people said, "Invoke Allaah The Exalted with a
humble and mild tongue, not one that is eloquent and quick."
• Invoking Allaah The Almighty for one's self and then for others.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}"Our Lord, Forgive us and our
brothers who preceded us in faith and Put not in our hearts ]any[
resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are
Kind and Merciful."{]Quran 59:10[ The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, used to invoke Allaah The Almighty for himself first before
invoking Him for any other person. ]At-Tirmithi[
• Avoiding supplicating Allaah The Almighty against one's self,
family, wealth or children. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, said,"Do not supplicate Allaah against yourselves, your
children or your wealth."]Muslim[
• Supplicating Allaah The Exalted for fellow brothers in their
absence. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said,"The supplication of a Muslim for another Muslim in his absence
is accepted by Allaah. He has an appointed angel at his head and every
time he supplicates good for his brother, the angel would say: "Aameen
and for you the same."]Muslim[
• Invoking Allaah The Almighty for whoever does you a favor. The
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said,"If a favor is performed
for someone and he says to the one who performed it, 'May Allaah
Reward you.' He would be rewarding him perfectly."]At-Tirmithi and
An-Nasaa'i[ The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also
said,"Whoever does you a favor, reward him for it. And if you cannot
find the means of doing so, then keep supplicating for him until you
think that you have rewarded him adequately."]Abu Daawood and
An-Nasaa'i[
• Asking righteous people for supplications. A Muslim should ask his
fellow brothers to supplicate Allaah The Almighty for him especially
the righteous people. It was narrated that 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, May
Allaah Be Pleased with him, said, "I asked the Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, for permission to perform 'Umrah and he granted it
to me and said, 'O brother, remember us in your supplication and do
not forget us.' The words he said pleased me more than could all that
is in the life of this world." ]At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah[
• Avoiding supplicating Allaah The Almighty for a sin or the severance
of kinship. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"A
servant shall continue to have his supplications answered so long as
he does not supplicate for sins or the severance of kinship."]Muslim[
• Remembering Allaah The Exalted, obeying Him and performing good
deeds. Being conscious of Allaah The Exalted, diligent on performing
acts of worship, abandoning sins and evils and hastening to repentance
makes supplication more likely to be answered. Allaah The Almighty
Says )what means(:}"Indeed, Allaah only Accepts from the righteous
]who fear Him[.{]Quran 5:27[ It was narrated that Allaah The Almighty
said in the Qudsi Hadeeth,"Whoever keeps himself busy with the Quran
and remembering Me, I Will Give him the best of all those who ask of
Me."]At-Tirmithi[
• Being keen on having lawful sustenance. The Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said,"O people, Allaah Is Good and He Accepts only
that which is good. And Allaah Commanded the believers as He Commanded
the Messengers by saying )what means(:}"O messengers, eat from the
good foods and work righteousness. Indeed, I, of what you do, Am
Knowing.{"]Quran 23:51[ And He Says )what means(:}O you who have
believed, eat from the good things which We have provided for you and
be grateful to Allaah if it is ]indeed[ Him that you worship.{]Quran
2:172[He then mentioned )the case of( a man who has travelled a long
distance – unkempt and dusty – and raises his hands towards the
heavens and says: 'O Lord, O Lord, while his food, drink, clothing are
from unlawful means and he is fed with unlawful food. Then how could
his supplication be answered?"]Muslim[
Ibraaheem ibn Adham, May Allaah Have mercy upon him, was once asked,
"Why are our supplications to Allaah The Exalted not answered?" He
answered, "Because your hearts have died due to ten things."
"1- You know Allaah The Almighty but do not obey Him.
2- You know the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, but do not
follow his Sunnah )tradition(.
3- You recite the Quran but do not act upon it.
4- You enjoy the Blessings of Allaah The Exalted without giving thanks.
5- You know of Paradise but do not exert any effort to enter it.
6- You know of Hell but you do not exert any effort to escape it.
7- You know of Satan but do not oppose him.
8- You know of death but do not prepare for it.
9- You bury your dead but do not learn from their example.
10- And in your state of slumber, you focus your attention on the
shortcomings of others while neglecting your own."
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Islam is a religion of Mercy, Peace and Blessing. Its teachings emphasize kind hear tedness, help, sympathy, forgiveness, sacrifice, love and care.Qur’an, the Shari’ah and the life of our beloved Prophet (SAW) mirrors this attribute, and it should be reflected in the conduct of a Momin.Islam appreciates those who are kind to their fellow being,and dislikes them who are hard hearted, curt, and hypocrite.Recall that historical moment, when Prophet (SAW) entered Makkah as a conqueror. There was before him a multitude of surrendered enemies, former oppressors and persecutors, who had evicted the Muslims from their homes, deprived them of their belongings, humiliated and intimidated Prophet (SAW) hatched schemes for his murder and tortured and killed his companions. But Prophet (SAW) displayed his usual magnanimity, generosity, and kind heartedness by forgiving all of them and declaring general amnesty...Subhanallah. May Allah help us tailor our life according to the teachings of Islam. (Aameen)./-
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Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Women site, - Etiquettes of Supplicating- II
Women site, - Contentment is Bliss
Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, traveled to
Makkah after he had become blind. Upon his arrival the people hastened
to him and kept on asking him to make supplication for them, and he
did, as Allaah always accepted his supplication. 'Abdullaah ibn
As-Saa'ib, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "I came to him when I
was still a young boy and became acquainted with him, so he knew me
and said to me, 'Are you the one who recites the Quran for the people
of Makkah?' I replied, 'Yes.' Then I asked him, 'You supplicate to
Allaah for all the people, so why do you not supplicate to Allaah for
yourself so that He would cure you?' He smiled, and said, 'O son! The
decree of Allaah is better for me than my sight.'"
This is the satisfaction that the Companions, may Allaah be pleased
with them, adjusted themselves to, and the decree of Allaah The
Almighty became more beloved to them than their desires, and so they
loved nothing more than what Allaah the Almighty had decreed. 'Umar
ibn 'Abd Al-'Azeez, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, "I do not
want anything except what Allaah The Almighty decrees." What confirms
the importance of this satisfaction is that the Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, would ask Allaah The Almighty to grant him
satisfaction with His decree, and it is well-known that the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, only asked Allaah The Almighty for the
highest ranks. Satisfaction is sincerely giving precedence to all that
Allaah The Almighty has ordained, without being hesitant or objecting.
This is exactly what the righteous predecessors sought and strived
for. They were fully content in matters pertaining to their fate and
what Allaah The Almighty had inscribed in the Preserved Slate and
never desired anything contrary to what He had decreed for them.
However, as for matters of religion that pertain to His orders or
prohibitions, one must always progress and aspire to what is better.
The righteous predecessors, may Allaah be pleased with them, would
advise each other to be satisfied and get used to it as they knew its
high rank. 'Umar )Al-Faarooq(, may Allaah be pleased with him, wrote
to Abu Moosa Al-Ash'ari, may Allaah be pleased with him, saying, "All
that is good lies in satisfaction. If you are able to be satisfied,
please do so, otherwise, be patient." Luqmaan, may Allaah exalt his
mention, would advise his son, saying, "I advise you to be endowed
with certain characteristics that would bring you closer to Allaah The
Almighty and would keep you away from His dissatisfaction: to worship
Allaah The Almighty Alone without associating any other deity with
Him, and to be satisfied with His decree in anything that you like or
dislike." The one who adjusts himself to this would lead a good life
as distress and worries would not reach his heart. Indeed, how could
that be when Allaah The Almighty has become pleased with him, and he
with Allaah? Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Whoever does
righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We
will surely cause him to live a good life,{]Quran 16:97[ Some of the
righteous predecessors, may Allaah have mercy upon them, interpreted
"good life" as a life of satisfaction and contentment.
Once, 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, became
angry with his wife 'Aatikah, may Allaah be pleased with her, and said
to her, "By Allaah, I will upset you." She said, "Can you drive me
away from Islam after Allaah The Almighty has guided me to it?" He
replied, "No." She then said, "Then how can you upset me?" She meant
by that that she was satisfied with the decree of Allaah The Almighty,
and that nothing could have brought her distress except being driven
away from Islam, and there is no way 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with
him, could ever have done that.
There are three conditions for being truly satisfied with Allaah The Almighty:
First: Being content at times of both blessings and afflictions alike,
as one believes that Allaah the Almighty chooses what is best for him.
This is what happened with some of the righteous predecessors, may
Allaah have mercy upon them, as they were patient and satisfied when
they were afflicted with hardship. When Sulaymaan ibn Al-Ghaazi, may
Allaah have mercy upon him, went to condole 'Umar ibn 'Abd Al-'Azeez,
may Allaah have mercy upon him, upon the death of his son, 'Abd
Al-Malik, 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said to him, "I seek
Allaah's refuge from wanting something that is contrary to what He
likes, as this does not change the affliction and His good treatment
of me." It was narrated on the authority of Ibraaheem An-Nakhaa'i, may
Allaah have mercy upon him, that Umm Al-Aswad was paralyzed and her
daughter grieved, so she told her "Do not be sad. O Allaah, if this is
something good then please increase it."
Second: Abandoning disputes unless they are related to any of the
rights of Allaah The Almighty or His Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam. Having conflict with others for the sake of one's desires
drives satisfaction away, disturbs its purity and alters its
sweetness.
Third: Refraining from continually asking of people. Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:}An ignorant ]person[ would think them
self-sufficient because of their restraint, but you will know them by
their ]characteristic[ sign. They do not ask people persistently ]or
at all[. And whatever you spend of good - indeed, Allah is Knowing of
it.{]Quran 2:273[
Regarding this trait, Thawbaan, may Allaah be pleased with him,
narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Who
will guarantee me this trait so that I will guarantee him
Paradise?"Thawbaan said, "I." The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, replied:"Do not ask people for anything."After that, he never
asked anyone for anything, even if his whip fell while riding, he
would get off and pick it up himself without asking anyone to hand it
to him. ]Ahmad[
Satisfaction is the Peak of Faith
Abu Ad-Dardaa', may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "There are four
traits at the peak of faith: patience, satisfaction with destiny,
sincerity in reliance, and submission to Allaah The Almighty." Ibn
Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said: "Satisfaction is one
of the deeds of the heart that is the equivalent of Jihaad, which is
one of the deeds of the limbs ]body[, for each one of them is the peak
of Faith."
Deprivation is in fact a Blessing from Allaah The Almighty
Sufyaan Ath-Thawri, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said that if
Allaah The Almighty deprives His servant of something, it is in fact a
blessing; when Allaah The Almighty deprives His slave, it is not
because He is miserly or unable to give, but because He chooses what
is best for His believing slave, and for a certain wisdom. Allaah The
Almighty never decrees anything bad for His believing slave, whether
that decree brings happiness or misery to the slave. Thus, even when
Allaah The Almighty deprives His believing slave, it is in fact a
blessing, and the affliction is for his well-being, even if it is in
the form of an affliction. Due to the ignorance of the slave and his
injustice, he considers that bliss is the only thing to give him
pleasure in the worldly life. If man was truly knowledgeable, he would
have considered all that Allaah The Almighty decreed as a blessing.
This was the state of the righteous predecessors, may Allaah have
mercy upon them. The slave will never find the sweetness of faith
except through this. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"Whoever is content with Allaah as a God, Islam as a religion and
Muhammad as a messenger, has certainly felt the sweetness of faith."
O Allaah! Make us satisfied with Your decree and bless our destiny so
that we would not wish to hasten something that You have delayed or
delay something that You have hastened.
Makkah after he had become blind. Upon his arrival the people hastened
to him and kept on asking him to make supplication for them, and he
did, as Allaah always accepted his supplication. 'Abdullaah ibn
As-Saa'ib, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "I came to him when I
was still a young boy and became acquainted with him, so he knew me
and said to me, 'Are you the one who recites the Quran for the people
of Makkah?' I replied, 'Yes.' Then I asked him, 'You supplicate to
Allaah for all the people, so why do you not supplicate to Allaah for
yourself so that He would cure you?' He smiled, and said, 'O son! The
decree of Allaah is better for me than my sight.'"
This is the satisfaction that the Companions, may Allaah be pleased
with them, adjusted themselves to, and the decree of Allaah The
Almighty became more beloved to them than their desires, and so they
loved nothing more than what Allaah the Almighty had decreed. 'Umar
ibn 'Abd Al-'Azeez, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, "I do not
want anything except what Allaah The Almighty decrees." What confirms
the importance of this satisfaction is that the Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, would ask Allaah The Almighty to grant him
satisfaction with His decree, and it is well-known that the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, only asked Allaah The Almighty for the
highest ranks. Satisfaction is sincerely giving precedence to all that
Allaah The Almighty has ordained, without being hesitant or objecting.
This is exactly what the righteous predecessors sought and strived
for. They were fully content in matters pertaining to their fate and
what Allaah The Almighty had inscribed in the Preserved Slate and
never desired anything contrary to what He had decreed for them.
However, as for matters of religion that pertain to His orders or
prohibitions, one must always progress and aspire to what is better.
The righteous predecessors, may Allaah be pleased with them, would
advise each other to be satisfied and get used to it as they knew its
high rank. 'Umar )Al-Faarooq(, may Allaah be pleased with him, wrote
to Abu Moosa Al-Ash'ari, may Allaah be pleased with him, saying, "All
that is good lies in satisfaction. If you are able to be satisfied,
please do so, otherwise, be patient." Luqmaan, may Allaah exalt his
mention, would advise his son, saying, "I advise you to be endowed
with certain characteristics that would bring you closer to Allaah The
Almighty and would keep you away from His dissatisfaction: to worship
Allaah The Almighty Alone without associating any other deity with
Him, and to be satisfied with His decree in anything that you like or
dislike." The one who adjusts himself to this would lead a good life
as distress and worries would not reach his heart. Indeed, how could
that be when Allaah The Almighty has become pleased with him, and he
with Allaah? Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Whoever does
righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We
will surely cause him to live a good life,{]Quran 16:97[ Some of the
righteous predecessors, may Allaah have mercy upon them, interpreted
"good life" as a life of satisfaction and contentment.
Once, 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, became
angry with his wife 'Aatikah, may Allaah be pleased with her, and said
to her, "By Allaah, I will upset you." She said, "Can you drive me
away from Islam after Allaah The Almighty has guided me to it?" He
replied, "No." She then said, "Then how can you upset me?" She meant
by that that she was satisfied with the decree of Allaah The Almighty,
and that nothing could have brought her distress except being driven
away from Islam, and there is no way 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with
him, could ever have done that.
There are three conditions for being truly satisfied with Allaah The Almighty:
First: Being content at times of both blessings and afflictions alike,
as one believes that Allaah the Almighty chooses what is best for him.
This is what happened with some of the righteous predecessors, may
Allaah have mercy upon them, as they were patient and satisfied when
they were afflicted with hardship. When Sulaymaan ibn Al-Ghaazi, may
Allaah have mercy upon him, went to condole 'Umar ibn 'Abd Al-'Azeez,
may Allaah have mercy upon him, upon the death of his son, 'Abd
Al-Malik, 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said to him, "I seek
Allaah's refuge from wanting something that is contrary to what He
likes, as this does not change the affliction and His good treatment
of me." It was narrated on the authority of Ibraaheem An-Nakhaa'i, may
Allaah have mercy upon him, that Umm Al-Aswad was paralyzed and her
daughter grieved, so she told her "Do not be sad. O Allaah, if this is
something good then please increase it."
Second: Abandoning disputes unless they are related to any of the
rights of Allaah The Almighty or His Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam. Having conflict with others for the sake of one's desires
drives satisfaction away, disturbs its purity and alters its
sweetness.
Third: Refraining from continually asking of people. Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:}An ignorant ]person[ would think them
self-sufficient because of their restraint, but you will know them by
their ]characteristic[ sign. They do not ask people persistently ]or
at all[. And whatever you spend of good - indeed, Allah is Knowing of
it.{]Quran 2:273[
Regarding this trait, Thawbaan, may Allaah be pleased with him,
narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Who
will guarantee me this trait so that I will guarantee him
Paradise?"Thawbaan said, "I." The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, replied:"Do not ask people for anything."After that, he never
asked anyone for anything, even if his whip fell while riding, he
would get off and pick it up himself without asking anyone to hand it
to him. ]Ahmad[
Satisfaction is the Peak of Faith
Abu Ad-Dardaa', may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "There are four
traits at the peak of faith: patience, satisfaction with destiny,
sincerity in reliance, and submission to Allaah The Almighty." Ibn
Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said: "Satisfaction is one
of the deeds of the heart that is the equivalent of Jihaad, which is
one of the deeds of the limbs ]body[, for each one of them is the peak
of Faith."
Deprivation is in fact a Blessing from Allaah The Almighty
Sufyaan Ath-Thawri, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said that if
Allaah The Almighty deprives His servant of something, it is in fact a
blessing; when Allaah The Almighty deprives His slave, it is not
because He is miserly or unable to give, but because He chooses what
is best for His believing slave, and for a certain wisdom. Allaah The
Almighty never decrees anything bad for His believing slave, whether
that decree brings happiness or misery to the slave. Thus, even when
Allaah The Almighty deprives His believing slave, it is in fact a
blessing, and the affliction is for his well-being, even if it is in
the form of an affliction. Due to the ignorance of the slave and his
injustice, he considers that bliss is the only thing to give him
pleasure in the worldly life. If man was truly knowledgeable, he would
have considered all that Allaah The Almighty decreed as a blessing.
This was the state of the righteous predecessors, may Allaah have
mercy upon them. The slave will never find the sweetness of faith
except through this. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"Whoever is content with Allaah as a God, Islam as a religion and
Muhammad as a messenger, has certainly felt the sweetness of faith."
O Allaah! Make us satisfied with Your decree and bless our destiny so
that we would not wish to hasten something that You have delayed or
delay something that You have hastened.
Women site, - The Dilemma of Ill Thoughts
The disease of ill thoughts is one of the most fatal diseases that can
destroy individuals and communities. Once it becomes deep-rooted in
the soul of man, it destroys all ties of intimacy and affection and
incites hatred and resentment. Some people, whose hearts are morally
diseased, only look at others through dark glasses. For them, all
people are, by default, suspects, or even guilty.
There is no doubt that having ill thoughts about others contradicts
the teachings of the Noble Quran, the Sunnah and the guidance of the
righteous predecessors. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}O you
who have believed, avoid much ]negative[ assumption. Indeed, some
assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of
you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest
it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and
Merciful.{]Quran 49:12[
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Beware of ill
thoughts, for ill thoughts represent the worst of false speech. Do not
look for other's faults. Do not spy on one another."The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also taught Muslims how to think well
of others. A man came to him and said, "My wife has delivered a black
baby )and I suspect that he is not my child(." The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, asked him:"Have you got camels?"The man
said, "Yes." The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, asked:"What
is their color?"The man said, "They are reddish )brown(." The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, asked:"Are any of them grey?"He said,
"There are grey ones among them." The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, asked:"From where do you think this color came to them?"The
man said, "It probably resulted from hereditary disposition." The
Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said:"Similarly, this )your
child( might be a hereditary disposition."]Muslim and Al-Bukhaari,
with the wording of Muslim[
The righteous predecessors, may Allaah have mercy upon them, avoided
this evil quality. They, may Allaah have mercy upon them, would seek
excuses for Muslims to the extent that some of them would say, "I seek
seventy excuses for my brother's misdeed, then I say that he might
have an excuse that I do not know about." Why we do not follow the
example of the righteous predecessors, may Allaah have mercy upon
them, in this regard? Those who think ill of Muslims follow the
example of the man who said to the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, "This division is not based on justice and it was not intended
to win the pleasure of Allaah," when he was referring to some wealth
that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam had divided and
distributed.
Some scholars divided ill thoughts into two types, both of which are
from the grave major sins:
Ill thoughts about Allaah: This type is one of the most heinous crimes
and sins because it attributes to Allaah what is improper for His
generosity and benevolence.
Ill thoughts about Muslims: This type is also a grave major sin
because whoever judges his brother based on ill thoughts, the devil
will make him belittle his brother, deny his rights, slander him and
spy on him. Obviously, all of these things are forbidden destructive
acts. Some scholars have said, "If you see a person who always thinks
ill of people and seeks to expose their faults, you should know that
he is an evil person. The believer always seeks excuses for others
because he is good and righteous, whereas, the hypocrite searches for
the faults and defects of others given his evil nature."
Hence, dear Muslim, beware of ill thoughts. We advise you to
supplicate to Allaah to protect you from them. If you cannot dismiss
your ill thoughts, then the least you can do is to remain silent and
avoid speaking about them. If you manage to get rid of these ill
thoughts, then you would have escaped a grave danger. Otherwise,
perhaps you will not be saved.
destroy individuals and communities. Once it becomes deep-rooted in
the soul of man, it destroys all ties of intimacy and affection and
incites hatred and resentment. Some people, whose hearts are morally
diseased, only look at others through dark glasses. For them, all
people are, by default, suspects, or even guilty.
There is no doubt that having ill thoughts about others contradicts
the teachings of the Noble Quran, the Sunnah and the guidance of the
righteous predecessors. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}O you
who have believed, avoid much ]negative[ assumption. Indeed, some
assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of
you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest
it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and
Merciful.{]Quran 49:12[
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Beware of ill
thoughts, for ill thoughts represent the worst of false speech. Do not
look for other's faults. Do not spy on one another."The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also taught Muslims how to think well
of others. A man came to him and said, "My wife has delivered a black
baby )and I suspect that he is not my child(." The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, asked him:"Have you got camels?"The man
said, "Yes." The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, asked:"What
is their color?"The man said, "They are reddish )brown(." The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, asked:"Are any of them grey?"He said,
"There are grey ones among them." The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, asked:"From where do you think this color came to them?"The
man said, "It probably resulted from hereditary disposition." The
Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said:"Similarly, this )your
child( might be a hereditary disposition."]Muslim and Al-Bukhaari,
with the wording of Muslim[
The righteous predecessors, may Allaah have mercy upon them, avoided
this evil quality. They, may Allaah have mercy upon them, would seek
excuses for Muslims to the extent that some of them would say, "I seek
seventy excuses for my brother's misdeed, then I say that he might
have an excuse that I do not know about." Why we do not follow the
example of the righteous predecessors, may Allaah have mercy upon
them, in this regard? Those who think ill of Muslims follow the
example of the man who said to the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, "This division is not based on justice and it was not intended
to win the pleasure of Allaah," when he was referring to some wealth
that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam had divided and
distributed.
Some scholars divided ill thoughts into two types, both of which are
from the grave major sins:
Ill thoughts about Allaah: This type is one of the most heinous crimes
and sins because it attributes to Allaah what is improper for His
generosity and benevolence.
Ill thoughts about Muslims: This type is also a grave major sin
because whoever judges his brother based on ill thoughts, the devil
will make him belittle his brother, deny his rights, slander him and
spy on him. Obviously, all of these things are forbidden destructive
acts. Some scholars have said, "If you see a person who always thinks
ill of people and seeks to expose their faults, you should know that
he is an evil person. The believer always seeks excuses for others
because he is good and righteous, whereas, the hypocrite searches for
the faults and defects of others given his evil nature."
Hence, dear Muslim, beware of ill thoughts. We advise you to
supplicate to Allaah to protect you from them. If you cannot dismiss
your ill thoughts, then the least you can do is to remain silent and
avoid speaking about them. If you manage to get rid of these ill
thoughts, then you would have escaped a grave danger. Otherwise,
perhaps you will not be saved.
Dought & clear, - His family are criticizing him for staying with them and not getting married; how should he deal with them?.
I treat my family well, but they are not treating me in the same way.
Sometimes they shame me because I still am unmarried and staying with
them. From my simple salary, 200 LE, I try to help at home. I am a
governmental clerk at education ministry. I wanted to study another
field, actually I did not want to work for the government, but I
listened to them. They were saying a lot of things about the
advantages of working for the government; such as stability and
pension, etc. I became a clerk. Now I cannot get married. I am 34
years old, I avoid being disobedient to my parents. But I have dignity
and I want to protect it when they say such things to me, especially
my mother when she says "you still are unmarried staying with us". How
shall I behave with them? I try to repress my anger a lot but until
when?!.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Your parents have great rights over you and are entitled to respect
and kind treatment, even if they mistreat you, and even if they try to
make you leave Islam and join the caravan of shirk – Allaah forbid.
This is a right that is guaranteed to them by Islam. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you
be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old
age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at
them but address them in terms of honour"
[al-Isra' 17:23]
"But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with
Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but
behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who
turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your
return, and I shall tell you what you used to do"
[Luqmaan 31:15]
Remember this even though you think that your treating them kindly and
honouring them is destroying your "dignity". Remember this even though
you are saying "how long can I suppress my anger?"
You have to carry on putting up with your family's mistreatment of you
and you have to carry on honouring them and treating them kindly, even
if they mistreat you and hurt you.
Secondly:
What we advise you to do in practical terms is as follows:
1 – Be patient and seek reward with Allaah for the things you are
suffering from your family. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And seek help in patience and As-Salaah (the prayer) and truly, it is
extremely heavy and hard except for Al-Khaashi'oon [i.e. the true
believers in Allaah — those who obey Allaah with full submission, fear
much from His punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise) and in
His Warnings (Hell)]"
[al-Baqarah 2:45].
2 – Honour them and treat them kindly, and show kindness to them by
giving them gifts, taking care of them, and speaking nicely to them.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet(peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Give one another gifts, so that you will
love one another." Narrated by al-Bukhaari inal-Adab al-Mufrad(594);
classed as hasan by al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar inal-Talkhees al-Habeer(3/70)
and by al-Albaani inIrwa' al-Ghaleel(1601).
3 – Advise them and urge them to adhere to the rulings of sharee'ah
and good manners, with wisdom and beautiful preaching.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Invite (mankind, O Muhammadصلىالله عليه وسلم( to the way of your Lord
)i.e. Islam( with wisdom )i.e. with the Divine Revelation and the
Qur'aan( and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is
better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His path,
and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided"
[al-Nahl 16:125]
4 – Use a variety of da'wah methods, and do not stick to just one
method. Audio and video tapes and booklets may have an effect in
changing their behaviour.
5 – Seek the help of knowledgeable people and seeker of knowledge who
are held in high esteem by them, and ask them to visit you and speak
to them and advise them.
6 – Strive to seek a halaal income, which will enable you to get
married. You can look for another job, or travel to a Muslim country
to work there.
7 – Always pray that they will be guided.
We ask Allaah to enable you to do that which He loves and which
pleases Him, and to make things easy for you, and to guide your family
to righteousness and wisdom.
And Allaah is the source of strength.
Sometimes they shame me because I still am unmarried and staying with
them. From my simple salary, 200 LE, I try to help at home. I am a
governmental clerk at education ministry. I wanted to study another
field, actually I did not want to work for the government, but I
listened to them. They were saying a lot of things about the
advantages of working for the government; such as stability and
pension, etc. I became a clerk. Now I cannot get married. I am 34
years old, I avoid being disobedient to my parents. But I have dignity
and I want to protect it when they say such things to me, especially
my mother when she says "you still are unmarried staying with us". How
shall I behave with them? I try to repress my anger a lot but until
when?!.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Your parents have great rights over you and are entitled to respect
and kind treatment, even if they mistreat you, and even if they try to
make you leave Islam and join the caravan of shirk – Allaah forbid.
This is a right that is guaranteed to them by Islam. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you
be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old
age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at
them but address them in terms of honour"
[al-Isra' 17:23]
"But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with
Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but
behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who
turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your
return, and I shall tell you what you used to do"
[Luqmaan 31:15]
Remember this even though you think that your treating them kindly and
honouring them is destroying your "dignity". Remember this even though
you are saying "how long can I suppress my anger?"
You have to carry on putting up with your family's mistreatment of you
and you have to carry on honouring them and treating them kindly, even
if they mistreat you and hurt you.
Secondly:
What we advise you to do in practical terms is as follows:
1 – Be patient and seek reward with Allaah for the things you are
suffering from your family. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And seek help in patience and As-Salaah (the prayer) and truly, it is
extremely heavy and hard except for Al-Khaashi'oon [i.e. the true
believers in Allaah — those who obey Allaah with full submission, fear
much from His punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise) and in
His Warnings (Hell)]"
[al-Baqarah 2:45].
2 – Honour them and treat them kindly, and show kindness to them by
giving them gifts, taking care of them, and speaking nicely to them.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet(peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Give one another gifts, so that you will
love one another." Narrated by al-Bukhaari inal-Adab al-Mufrad(594);
classed as hasan by al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar inal-Talkhees al-Habeer(3/70)
and by al-Albaani inIrwa' al-Ghaleel(1601).
3 – Advise them and urge them to adhere to the rulings of sharee'ah
and good manners, with wisdom and beautiful preaching.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Invite (mankind, O Muhammadصلىالله عليه وسلم( to the way of your Lord
)i.e. Islam( with wisdom )i.e. with the Divine Revelation and the
Qur'aan( and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is
better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His path,
and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided"
[al-Nahl 16:125]
4 – Use a variety of da'wah methods, and do not stick to just one
method. Audio and video tapes and booklets may have an effect in
changing their behaviour.
5 – Seek the help of knowledgeable people and seeker of knowledge who
are held in high esteem by them, and ask them to visit you and speak
to them and advise them.
6 – Strive to seek a halaal income, which will enable you to get
married. You can look for another job, or travel to a Muslim country
to work there.
7 – Always pray that they will be guided.
We ask Allaah to enable you to do that which He loves and which
pleases Him, and to make things easy for you, and to guide your family
to righteousness and wisdom.
And Allaah is the source of strength.
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