Dought & clear, - Remedy for Insinuating Whispers that has to do with Purification and Prayer.

I am suffering from strong waswaas in all my acts of worship
especially istinjaa' (cleansing after relieving myself). When I use
the toilet I just spend too long a time. It became a very hateful
place to me for whatever reason. Every time I enter the toilet I cry
because of how strong this waswaas is. I do not feel sure of my tuhr
(purification) at all. Many things put doubt in my heart like when my
hand touches a tahir (clean) place after I washed a najis (unclean)
place, so I have to wash that position as well. Also when water of
istinjaa' sprinkles on my feet and body I doubt my tuhr so I have to
wash them after finishing.
What is the solution? Many have said to me to just ignore this
waswaas. But I do not really know how to make sure I am on tuhr. If
the urine touches any other place do I have to wash it or not? If I
ignore washing it I doubt and wonder that if I am not pure then my
salaah (prayer) will not be accepted. On the other hand if I wash I
feel it is really heavy and beyond my ability.
Another question:
What is the ruling on prematurely ending my salaah or wudu' (ablution)
or ghusl (bath) as this comes to my mind a lot? Sometimes I think that
it is not a problem to cut my intention during the act of worship and
I just complete it. Other times I think that deciding to cut an act of
worship spoils it as I cut my intention as well so I stop it then
start over. This matter became also out of my control, what should I
do? Shall I continue my salaah, wudu' or ghusl even if I decide during
it to cut it? Or I should start it over then?
These doubts do not leave me since I start my salaah until the end of
it. Something whispers to me to stop it or repeat it or start it over
again after you complete it. I am tired and this is beyond my ability.
Will my salaah be acceptable despite having all these doubts along the
salaah? What is the solution? Please help me, may Allah bless you!
Praise be to Allaah.
What the questioner mentions has to do with a kind of waswaas
(whispers from the shaytaan), because purification and prayer are
simple matters that do not need such concern. The religion of Allaah
is easy and there is no hardship in it, as Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"and [Allaah] has not laid upon you in religion any hardship"
[al-Hajj 22:78]
"Allaah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things
difficult for you"
[al-Baqarah 2:185]
And the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion
will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be
extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the glad
tidings that you will be rewarded." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (39).
The remedy for what you are suffering involves three things:
1-Constantly persisting in remembering Allaah, may He be exalted.
2-Turning to Him and asking Him for healing and recovery from this problem.
3-Turning away completely from that which the waswaas is calling you
to do. So when you have relieved yourself and washed yourself
(istinja'), get up and do not pay any attention to whether your hand
touched a taahir (pure) place after touching the najaasah (impurity),
or that drops of the istinja' water landed on your feet or body,
because the basic principle is that things remain taahir (pure), and
uncertainty as to whether your body or clothes have become impure does
not have any effect. You should understand that your body and clothes,
the place where you pray, and other things are pure and continue to be
regarded as pure unless we are certain that they have become impure.
As for doubts, imagination and waswaas, no attention should be paid to
them. See the answers to questions no. 62839and 25778.
Purification and removal of impurity is done by washing the private
part; it is not essential to wash the area around it, so do not pay
any attention to the water that drops elsewhere, as stated above. Be
confident that you are taahir (pure), praise be to Allaah, and that
your prayer offered with this purification is valid and accepted, if
Allaah wills, for Allaah is Most Merciful and Kind, and He shows mercy
to His sinful slaves, so how about those who are obedient and love
Him?
With regard to deciding to stop wudoo' or prayer, that does not matter
either, rather you should ignore these thoughts and carry on with your
wudoo' or prayer, because there is no reason to interrupt an act of
worship, rather this is waswaas and it does not affect your act of
worship, praise be to Allaah. No matter what thoughts of interrupting
your act of worship or repeating it come to you, do not pay any
attention to that, and carry on with it, and ask Allaah to accept it,
because you have done as much as you could, and you have done what was
required of you, and Allaah does not burden any person beyond his
scope.
Remember this advice, and carry on, and ignore the waswaas, for it is
a trick of the shaytaan, but his tricks are weak as our Lord has told
us. Be confident that if you ignore the waswaas it will disappear, by
the power of Allaah.
We ask Allaah to help you to obey Him and to make you happy by
worshipping Him, and to take away the problem that you are facing.
And Allaah knows best.

Dought & clear, - Suffering From Psychological Problem: Fear of Marriage.

I want to marry. I wish I have a good wife to live with in happiness
and satisfaction, to have a loving relationship with, to pray at night
with, her to be my source of comfort and I be her shelter. I am a man
who lives with a big fear of marriage and women. I live in shyness and
timidity. I feel I need to marry for some time now, my parents are
persisting but I am too shy to say I want to marry. Although I feel
like I want to scream and say I want to marry.
I feel that I have made my shyness and doubts about my sexual
abilities a barrier between me and marriage. Yes, I would love to get
married. I do not know why I run away from marriage, is it because I
fear failing a lot or because I am not confident? I am a hesitant
person as for the matters of buying and selling. I grew up in a
conservative family; I rarely hear any talk about sex or even
references to it. Although I hear a lot how our relatives talk to
their sons about sex and make jokes, and the sons feel free to express
themselves about sex and marriage.
I fear a lot I fail sexually in my marital life; I even went to have a
fertility test, blood tests and other similar things. I do not know if
it is my fear of marriage or my desire to stay away from it. Some of
the investigations made me doubt myself even more, yet, I still feel
it is not the investigations that make me hesitant to marry, it is my
fear of it more than anything else. Every time I intend to talk to my
family about my marriage I feel terrified.
Since my childhood, to be honest, I have convinced myself that it is
impossible for me to marry, and that I will stay lonely until I die.
If anyone asks me about when I intend to marry, I immediately answer
saying: "in paradise". I feel that this has been imprinted onto my
subconscious.
I want to marry, by Allah I want to marry. My fear of women and
failing stays as a barrier between me and marriage. Also I cannot
imagine that I am having intercourse with a woman, I cannot imagine
that I am sleeping and travelling with a woman, all these matters stay
as barriers between me and marriage.
I encouraged myself some time ago and talked to my family, and they
engaged a girl to me and her family approved. But when the time to
meet her came, I felt big fear from the whole matter, and then said to
my family that I do not want to marry this girl.
I am over thirty years old now. I feel helpless although the hope is
there. I feel hesitant although I have a great desire to marry. I am
badly affected by my problem; I saw many psychiatrists complaining
from my great worry and depression. They all said to me I have to take
tablets, while they do not feel my suffering.
Except the last psychiatrist, he really put his hand on the root of
the problem, which is my great fear of women, marriage, failing, and
sex.
Please guide me. I need your advice and guidance. I want to destroy
these barriers between me and marriage. Any word, negative or
positive, will affect me a lot. I need who takes my hand to rest,
comfort and marital happiness.
Praise be to Allaah.
You may be certain that we understand your problem and feel your pain,
and that any Muslim in this world is our brother and what befalls him
affects us too. We feel his joy if he rejoices and we feel his sorrow
if he grieves. We will try to offer you a solution because we share
your pain, so that you may be rid of this problem quickly, in sha
Allaah.
You should realize that you are not the only one in this world who has
problems and suffers worries, anxiety and depression. Right now you
are facing a test from Allaah, and this test requires you to do some
things so that you may learn from it and emerge from this calamity
with many great benefits. These things include the following:
1 - Think positively of Allaah, for He has only decreed this thing for
you for a reason that is known to Him. He wants good for you so long
as you adhere to His commands and guidance, and obey His commands and
avoid overstepping His limits and falling into that which He has
forbidden. You do not know, perhaps this calamity has befallen you so
that Allaah might ward off thereby something that is even worse;
perhaps Allaah has warded off thereby some major sins and some
destructive calamity without you realizing. So think positively of
your Lord and believe that He will bring you forth from this calamity
as a hair is pulled out of dough.
2 - Trials require patience and seeking reward. Allaah has praised
those who are patient in His Book and has prepared for them a reward
like no other, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full,
without reckoning"
[39:10]
The Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also praised
patience and those who have the characteristic of patience. He said -
in a hadeeth (prophetic narration) whose authenticity is agreed upon -
as was narrated by Abu Sa'eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with
him): "...whoever is patient Allaah will bestow patience upon him, and
no one is ever given anything better and more generous than patience."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim .
So you have to be patient, for it is your provision at times of
calamity and times of ease.
3 - Medical doctors say that diagnosis is two-thirds of the cure. From
examining what you say about your situation in your question, it is
clear that your problem is neither physical nor psychological,
something that can be treated by a psychologist; rather it is
persistent waswaas (satanic whispers) that is affecting you in an
important aspect of your life. Waswaas is a serious disease, which if
it takes hold of a person may lead to his doom and may put some people
beyond the pale of Islam - we ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.
But, praise be to Allaah, your waswaas does not have to do with
'aqeedah (creed) or basic matters of Islam, or with acts of worship or
the pillars of Islam, rather it has to do with your hesitation to get
married and in buying and selling, as you say. Although this seems to
you to be a big issue, it is in fact minor, if you compare it to the
waswaas experienced by other people about tahaarah (purification). For
some people may do ghusl (bath) several times, after which they are
not certain that they are now in a state of purity, or they may do
wudoo' (ablution) more than ten times and still not be certain that
they have wudoo'. Perhaps a person catches up with the opening takbeer
(of prayer) with the imam but he misses the first rak'ah (unit of
prayer)because he is trying to do the opening takbeer (Allahu Akbar),
then he completes his prayer and does not know whether he has done it
or not. Praise be to Allaah, no such thing is happening with you.
Hence your cure will be achieved in the following steps, in sha Allaah.
1 - You should understand that waswaas comes from the Shaytaan, and in
fact Allaah calls the shaytaan the waswaas (the whisperer) in Soorat
al-Naas, as is well known. This means that you have to declare war on
the shaytaan and remember that he is the one who started it with you
and that he is the one who transgressed against you and tricked you
and wanted to deny you your rights, so do not turn your back to him or
show him your weakness, for he is weak and defeated, and withdraw
easily. So be of good cheer, and be certain that you can overcome him
so long as you are with Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"... hold fast to Allaah [i.e. have confidence in Allaah, and depend
upon Him in all your affairs]. He is your Mawla (Patron, Lord), what
an Excellent Mawla (Patron, Lord) and what an Excellent Helper!"
[22:78]
2 - You should read Soorat al-Baqarah a great deal, and complete it
every three nights, and if you do that while praying qiyaam al-layl
that is better. It is proven that our Prophet(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "Read the Qur'aan, for it will come on the
Day of Resurrection interceding for its companions. Read the two
bright ones, al-Baqarah and Soorat Aal 'Imraan, for they will come on
the Day of Resurrection like two clouds or shadows, or like two flocks
of birds in ranks, pleading on behalf of their companions. Read Soorat
al-Baqarah for reciting it regularly is a blessing and forsaking it is
a loss, and the magicians cannot withstand it." Narrated by Muslim.
The devils cannot bear to hear Soorat al-Baqarah; they flee from it
and weaken before the one who recites it, and they are afraid of it.
It is proven in a hadeeth that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "Do not make your houses into graves, for the
Shaytaan flees from a house in which Soorat al-Baqarah is recited."
Narrated by Muslim (780).
3 - Always recite the dhikrs for various occasions, such as the dhikrs
for morning and evening, the dhikrs for going to sleep, entering the
mosque or the home, entering and leaving the wash-room, dhikrs for
eating, drinking and putting on clothes, and so on, for in all of them
there is a great benefit for you and they will prevent the shaytaan
from reaching you.
4 - Say a lot of du'aa'. Turning to your Lord with du'aa' will bring
you relief and deliver you from this trial. You should seek out for
that the times when du'aa's are likely to be answered, and allocate a
time for du'aa' every night during the last third of the night, in the
last part of the day on Friday, and following the prescribed prayers.
Pray for everyone who is afflicted with calamity for the angels say
ameen to your du'aa' and say "May you have likewise." Pray a great
deal for forgiveness and repent to Allaah, for Allaah has promised a
great deal of good to the one who prays for forgiveness. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"I said (to them): 'Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft-Forgiving;
'He will send rain to you in abundance,
'And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you
gardens and bestow on you rivers.'"
[71:10-12]
5 - In all of that it is essential for you to do your utmost to ward
off the waswaas and treat yourself by convincing yourself that you are
normal and that you do not have a problem; you should ward off all
thought that may weaken you. You should remember that all of this
stems from one source, which is the waswaas, and overcoming it is
easy, by Allaah's Leave.
6 - Seek the help of Allaah and go ahead and get married. Seek the
help of your family and sincere friends to do that. We know -
personally - someone who had the same problem, whose situation was
exactly the same as yours, or worse. Then some of his brothers and
sincere friends forced him to get married, after they had made sure
that he was not suffering from a physical problem. Then Allaah helped
him and relieved his distress, and his marriage became normal like
anyone else's.
7 - There is nothing wrong with consulting a psychologist and using
some psychological treatments that may help in this case, because
waswaas is also a kind of mental illness that is well known to the
specialists. So there is nothing wrong with combining the remedies
that we have referred to above with psychological treatment.
I ask Allaah the Almighty, Lord of the Mighty Throne, to heal you, and
to hasten your relief and bring you happiness, for He is All-Hearing
and Ever Near.
And Allaah knows best.

Preparing for the Hereafter: Drawbacks of a Palace, King Story

Many years ago there lived a King who built himself a huge and
magnificent palace. No one had seen anything like it before. The
turrets rose into the sky and many expensive materials were used in
its construction. The King invited one and all to come and view his
palace and left a guest book at the entrance for them to sign and
leave comments in.
He took pleasure in reading the various praises that people visiting
the palace had written for him in the book. However, he came across
two comments that were not in keeping with the general feeling. These
two comments were not in praise of the palace; on the contrary, they
criticized it. The King was upset and summoned the authors of the
comments. At first, neither of them was ready to explain his comment
but, after the King assured them that their lives were not in danger,
they disclosed the reasons.
"O King! There are two weaknesses in this palace. The first of these
is that some day, the palace will turn into ruins, and the second one
is that it does not have anything to ensure that its owner will not be
separated from it one day. In a life of just a few days, why do we
have to attach ourselves to such worldly, material things?" (Bikhre
Moti)
Man will soon die and leave behind all his worldly possessions. What
will accompany him the journey to the Hereafter are his noble deeds.
Imam Ali al Hadi (as)said: In the world, people are publicized by
their property, wealth and asset, and in eternity they are known by
their deeds and actions.
"Wealth and children are an adornment of the life of the world, but
lasting righteous deeds are better with your Lord in reward and better
in hope." Noble Qur'an, (18:46)
Wisdom therefore dictates that man should focus his attention to
things that are imperishable and highly rewardable.
Imam Ali (as)said: The world is a passage lodging, and eternity is a
place everlasting, yon should take advantage of the opportunity to
save something from your passage lodging for the rest of your Journey.
Some body asked Imam Hassan Mojtaba (as):
Why are we reluctant to die, why don't we like death?
"Because", replied the Imam Hassan Mojtaba (as), "You ruined your
next world (hereafter) and developed this one; naturally, you do not
like to be transferred from flourishing to decline."
Imam Hassan Mojtaba (as) said: The faithful people use this world to
gather provisions for the next world but faithless people only enjoy
the fruits of this world while living.
Imam Jafar Sadegh (as)quoted on the authority of Holy Prophet Muhammad
(saww): What do I have to do with this world, and what does this world
have to do with me? The story of me and the world is similar to that
of a man who is riding on a hot day and reaches a tree. He takes a nap
under the shade of the tree for a short while, and then goes on
leaving the tree behind.
Imam Jafar Sadegh (as) said: The person, who is attached much to the
world, when it is time to depart, will have many deep regrets and many
grievances.

Hereafter Preparation: Clever King Story, a Real Life Story

There was a country long time ago where the people would change a king
every year. The person who would become the king had to agree to a
contract that he would be sent to an island after his one year of
being a king.
One king finished his term and it was time for him to go to the island
and live there. The people dressed him up in expensive clothes and put
him on an elephant and took him around the cities to say goodbye to
all the people. This was the moment of sadness for all the kings who
ruled for one year. After saying farewell, the people took the king
with a boat to the remote island and left him there.
On their way back, they discovered a ship that had sunk just recently.
They saw a young man who survived by holding on to a floating piece of
wood. As they needed a new king, they picked up the young man and took
him to their country. They requested him to be a king for a year.
First he refused but later he agreed to be a king. People told him
about all the rules and regulations and that how he will be sent to an
island after one year.
After three days of being a king, he asked the ministers if they could
show him the island where all the other kings were sent. They agreed
and took him to the island. The island was covered with thick jungles
and sounds of vicious animals were heard coming out of them. The king
went little bit inside to check. Soon he discovered the dead bodies of
all the past kings. He understood that as soon as they were left in
the island, the animals came and killed them.
The king went back to the country and collected 100 strong workers. He
took them to the island and instructed them to clean the jungle,
remove all the deadly animals and cut down all the excess trees. He
would visit the island every month to see how the work was
progressing. In the first month, all the animals were removed and many
trees were cut down. In the second month, the whole island was cleaned
out. The king then told the workers to plant gardens in various parts
of the island. He also took with himself useful animals like chickens,
ducks, birds, goats, cows etc. In the third month, he ordered the
workers to build big houses and docking stations for ships. Over the
months, the island turned into a beautiful place.
The young king would wear simple clothes and spend very little from
his earnings as a king. He sent all the earnings to the island for
storage. When nine months passed like this, the king called the
ministers and told them:
"I know that I have to go the island after one year, but I would like
to go there right now." But the ministers didn't agree to this and
said that he has to wait for another 3 months to complete the year.
3 months passed and now it was a full year. The people dressed up the
young king and put him on an elephant to take him around the country
to say goodbye to others. However, this king is unusually happy to
leave the kingdom.
People asked him, "All the other kings would cry at this moment and
why are you laughing?"
He replied, "Don't you know what the wise people say? They say that
when you came to this world as a baby, you were crying and everyone
was smiling. Live such a life that when you are die, you will be
smiling and everyone around you will be crying. I have lived that
life. While all the other kings were lost into the luxuries of the
kingdom, I always thought about the future and planned for it. I
turned the deadly island into a beautiful abode for me where I can
stay peacefully."
The moral lesson from this story is about how we should live our life.
The life of this world is to prepare for the life hereafter. In this
life, we shouldn't get lost into the deceiving and attractive things
of this world and forget about what is to come in the afterlife.
Rather, even if we are kings, we should live a simple life like our
beloved Holy Prophet Muhammad (saww) and save all our enjoyments for
the hereafter. May Allah make it easy for us all. Amin.
Noble Qur'anSays: Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah
(alone). It is He Who sends down rain, and He Who knows what is in the
wombs. Nor does any one know what it is that he will earn on the
morrow: Nor does any one know in what land he is to die. Verily with
Allah is full knowledge and He is acquainted (with all things).
(31:34)
Noble Qur'an urges us to prepare for tomorrow: O ye who believe! Fear
Allah, and let every soul look to what (provision) He has sent forth
for the morrow. Yea, fear Allah: for Allah is well-acquainted with
(all) that ye do. (59:18)