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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Fathwa, - RE: Are the female feet awra?

Question:
Please tell me with proof if the female feet are satar. Some students
of Din have given the following two proofs for it being satar whereas
I was instructed differently. They say:
1. In Hidayah and the hashiyah of al-Lukhnowi he is of the opinion
that it is satar
2. That in Shami under the discussion that the hukm of something when
it is munfasil is the same as when it is muttasil here Ibn Abidin (RA)
states that nails that are cut from a female if it is of the fingers
then it is not satar but of the toes then it is satar and cannot be
viewed by a male.
This mas'ala is important since many ladies wear open sandals.
Answer:
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
To verify a fiqh matter, one must follow the principles of choosing
legal positions in a rigorous manner. This was done by Ibn Abidin in
hisRadd al-Muhtarin a very systematic manner, and explained in
hisSharh `Uqud Rasm al-Mufti,which is why he is the primary source
forfatwain the Hanafi school.
It is clear that women�s feet are not awra from the top references in
the Hanafi school, including1. Marghinani�sHidaya,
2. its commentaryal-`Inayaby Akmal al-Din al-Babarti,
3. Nasafi�sKanz al-Daqa�iq,
4. Zayla`i�s commentary on it,Tabyin al-Haqa�iq
5. Mulla Khusri�sDurar
6. Shurunbulali�s commentary on it,al-Shurunbulaliyya
7.Al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya
8. Haskafi�sDurr al-Mukhtar
9. Ibn Abidin�sRadd al-Muhtari. [See Arabic texts and page references below.]
However, given the difference of opinion regarding them, both within
the Hanafi school and with other schools, it is recommended to cover
one�s feet, though not obligatory.
And Allah alone gives success.
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
Faraz Rabbani.
في الهداية:( وَبَدَنُ الْحُرَّةِ كُلِّهَا عَوْرَةٌ إلَّا وَجْهَهَا
وَكَفَّيْهَا ) لِقَوْلِهِ عليه الصلاة والسلام { الْمَرْأَةُ عَوْرَةٌ
مَسْتُورَةٌ } وَاسْتِثْنَاءُ الْعُضْوَيْنِ لِلِابْتِدَاءِ
بِإِبْدَائِهِمَا . قَالَ رضي الله عنه : وَهَذَا تَنْصِيصٌ عَلَى أَنَّ
الْقَدَمَ عَوْرَةٌ . وَيُرْوَى أَنَّهَا لَيْسَتْ بِعَوْرَةٍ وَهُوَ
الْأَصَحُّقال الأكمل في العناية شرح الهداية: (1/259)( قَوْلُهُ :
وَهَذَا ) أَيْ قَوْلُ الْقُدُورِيِّ : وَبَدَنُ الْحُرَّةِ كُلُّهُ
عَوْرَةٌ إلَّا وَجْهَهَا وَكَفَّيْهَا ( تَنْصِيصٌ ) مِنْهُ ( عَلَى
أَنَّ الْقَدَمَ عَوْرَةٌ ) ; لِأَنَّهُ لَمْ يَسْتَثْنِهَا . وَرَوَى
الْحَسَنُ عَنْ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ أَنَّهَا لَيْسَتْ بِعَوْرَةٍ وَبِهِ
قَالَ الْكَرْخِيِّ . قَالَ الْمُصَنِّفُ ( وَهُوَ الْأَصَحُّ ) ;
لِأَنَّهَا تُبْتَلَى بِإِبْدَاءِ الْقَدَمِ إذَا مَشَتْ حَافِيَةً أَوْ
مُتَنَعِّلَةً فَرُبَّمَا لَا تَجِدُ الْخُفَّ عَلَى أَنَّ
الِاشْتِهَاءَ لَا يَحْصُلُ بِالنَّظَرِ إلَى الْقَدَمِ كَمَا يَحْصُلُ
بِالنَّظَرِ إلَى الْوَجْهِ فَإِذَا لَمْ يَكُنْ الْوَجْهُ عَوْرَةً
مَعَ كَثْرَةِ الِاشْتِهَاءِ فَالْقَدَمُ أَوْلَى وَلَمَّا كَانَتْ
رِوَايَةُ الْجَامِعِ الصَّغِيرِ مِمَّا يَدُلُّ عَلَى أَنَّ الْقَدَمَ
لَيْسَتْ بِعَوْرَةٍ رَتَّبَهَا عَلَى مَا قَبْلَهَا بِالْفَاءفي تبيين
الحقائق شرح كنز الدقائق: (باب شروط الصلاة �1/96)قَالَ رحمه الله (
وَبَدَنُ الْحُرَّةِ عَوْرَةٌ إلَّا وَجْهَهَا وَكَفَّيْهَا
وَقَدَمَيْهَا ) لقوله تعالى { وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إلَّا مَا
ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا } وَالْمُرَادُ مَحَلُّ زِينَتِهِنَّ وَمَا ظَهَرَ
مِنْهَا الْوَجْهُ وَالْكَفَّانِ قَالَهُ ابْنُ عَبَّاسٍ وَابْنُ عُمَرَ
وَاسْتَثْنَى فِي الْمُخْتَصَرِ الْأَعْضَاءَ الثَّلَاثَةَ
لِلِابْتِلَاءِ بِإِبْدَائِهَا ; وَلِأَنَّهُ عليه الصلاة والسلام {
نَهَى الْمُحْرِمَةَ عَنْ لُبْسِ الْقُفَّازَيْنِ وَالنِّقَابِ } وَلَوْ
كَانَ الْوَجْهُ وَالْكَفَّانِ مِنْ الْعَوْرَةِ لَمَا حَرُمَ
سَتْرُهُمَا بِالْمِخْيَطِ وَفِي الْقَدَمِ رِوَايَتَانِ وَالْأَصَحُّ
أَنَّهَا لَيْسَتْ بِعَوْرَةٍ لِلِابْتِلَاءِ بِإِبْدَائِهَا .قال منلا
خسرو في الدرر [الذي قال عنه ابن عابدين أنه كتاب مبني على غاية التحقيق]
(1/59)الْحُرَّةُ ) أَيْ جَمِيعُ أَعْضَائِهَا ( عَوْرَةٌ إلَّا
وَجْهَهَا وَكَفَّيْهَا وَقَدَمَيْهَا ) فَإِنَّهَا لَا تَجِدُ بُدًّا
مِنْ مُزَاوَلَةِ الْأَشْيَاءِ بِيَدَيْهَا وَفِي كَفَّيْهَا زِيَادَةٌ
ضَرُورَةً وَمِنْ الْحَاجَةِ إلَى كَشْفِ وَجْهِهَا خُصُوصًا فِي
الشَّهَادَةِ وَالْمُحَاكَمَةِ وَالنِّكَاحِ وَتَضْطَرُّ إلَى الْمَشْيِ
فِي الطُّرُقَاتِ وَظُهُورُ قَدَمَيْهَا خُصُوصًا الْفَقِيرَاتِ
مِنْهُنَّ وَهُوَ مَعْنَى قوله تعالى عَلَى مَا قَالُوا { إلَّا مَا
ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا } أَيْ مَا جَرَتْ الْعَادَةُ وَالْجِبِلَّةُ عَلَى
ظُهُورِهِ وَيُرْوَى أَنَّ الْقَدَمَ عَوْرَةٌعلّق عليه الشرنبلالي في
حاشيته الشهيرة بـ: الشرنبلالية:قَوْلُهُ وَقَدَمَيْهَا ) هَذَا فِي
أَصَحِّ الرِّوَايَتَيْنِ كَمَا فِي الْبُرْهَانِ . ( قَوْلُهُ وَيُرْوَى
أَنَّ الْقَدَمَ عَوْرَةٌ ) أَقُولُ صَحَّحَهُ الْأَقْطَعُ وَقَاضِي
خَانْ وَاخْتَارَهُ الْإِسْبِيجَابِيُّ والمرغيناني وَصَحَّحَ صَاحِبُ
الِاخْتِيَارِ أَنَّهُ لَيْسَ بِعَوْرَةٍ فِي الصَّلَاةِ بِخِلَافِ
خَارِجِهَا وَرَجَّحَ فِي شَرْحِ الْمُنْيَةِ كَوْنَهُ عَوْرَةً
مُطْلَقًا كَذَا فِي الْبَحْرِ لَكِنْ قَدْ عَلِمْت أَنَّ الْقَدَمَيْنِ
لَيْسَا مِنْ الْعَوْرَةِ فِي أَصَحِّ الرِّوَايَتَيْنِ .و في الفتاوى
الهندية: (1/60)بَدَنُ الْحُرَّةِ عَوْرَةٌ إلَّا وَجْهَهَا وَكَفَّيْهَا
وَقَدَمَيْهَا . كَذَا فِي الْمُتُونِقال الإمام الحصكفي في الدر المختار
شرح تنوير الأبصار: (باب شروط الصلاة)جَمِيعُ بَدَنِهَا ) حَتَّى
شَعْرُهَا النَّازِلُ فِي الْأَصَحِّ ( خَلَا الْوَجْهِ وَالْكَفَّيْنِ )
فَظَهْرُ الْكَفِّ عَوْرَةٌ عَلَى الْمَذْهَبِ ( وَالْقَدَمَيْنِ )
عَلَى الْمُعْتَمَدِقال ابن عابدين في رد المحتار: (و قد وافق فيها ما
اعتمده الحصكفي كما هو بين:)( قَوْلُهُ عَلَى الْمُعْتَمَدِ ) أَيْ مِنْ
أَقْوَالٍ ثَلَاثَةٍ مُصَحَّحَةٍ ثَانِيهَا عَوْرَةٌ مُطْلَقًا
ثَالِثهَا عَوْرَةٌ خَارِجَ الصَّلَاةِ لَا فِيهَا

Fathwa, - RE: Hijab in front of non Muslim women

Question:
I live on an all female college campus in a residence hall. Since
coming to Islam and adopting hijab, I have not allowed any non Muslim
woman to see me without hijab (covering everything including hair,
neck, ears, etc...) This year I am a resident assistant and find it
very difficult, even though I have my own room, to constantly keep my
hijab on in front of my non-Muslim female residents (though I have
been doing it). I heard from another Muslima that since this is a
hardship, it may be permissible for me to wear a different style of
hijab (one that leaves my neck and ears uncovered as long as I cover
the rest). This would of course only take place when I could be sure
that no man would see me. Is this permissible for me?
Answer:
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
The Hanafi position is that it is obligatory to cover in front of
non-Muslim women. Follow this as much as you can.
It is permitted to follow the Shafii or Hanbali positions on this point.

Etiquettes of Supplicating- I

During the caliphate of 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, May Allaah Be Pleased
with him, there was no rain for an entire year and the people were
about to perish. So 'Umar, May Allaah Be Pleased with him, gathered
the people and they went out to the desert. He then asked Al-'Abbaas,
May Allaah Be Pleased with him, the paternal uncle of the Prophetto
invoke Allaah The Exalted for the Muslims. Al-'Abbaas, May Allaah Be
Pleased with him, raised his hands towards the sky and said, "O
Allaah, we stretch our hands to You admitting our sins and our
forelocks to You declaring our repentance, so Grant us rain." Thus,
Allaah The Almighty Sent down the rain.
The mother of Anas ibn Maalik, May Allaah Be Pleased with them, went
to the Messenger of Allaahwhile holding the hand of her son Anas to
serve the Prophetand asked him to supplicate Allaah The Exalted for
him. The Prophetinvoked Allaah The Almighty Saying,"O Allaah, Bless
his wealth and offspring."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ Anas, May Allaah Be
Pleased with him, lived until his wealth and offspring increased in
abundance and he saw one hundred of his children and grandchildren.
Supplication )Du'aa'( means to ask for pardon, mercy, forgiveness and
to ask Allaah The Almighty for what one wants to achieve. It is one of
the acts of worship that earns the Satisfaction of Allaah The
Almighty. The Prophetsaid,"Supplication is worship."]At-Tirmithi[ Then
the Prophetrecited the verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what
means(:
•}And your Lord Says, "Call upon Me; I Will Respond to you." Indeed,
those who disdain My worship will enter Hell ]rendered[
contemptible.{]Quran 40:60[
•}Is He ]not best[ Who Responds to the desperate one when he calls
upon Him and Removes evil{]Quran 27:62[
The Prophetsaid,"Nothing is more honorable in the Sight of Allaah than
supplicating )to Him(."]At-Tirmithi and Ahmad[
There are etiquettes for supplicating that every Muslim should abide
by. Some of these etiquettes are:
• Choosing the time for supplication: There are some times when
supplication is likely to be answered such as in the month of
Ramadhaan, the Day of 'Arafah, Fridays, the time of Sahar )last third
of the night( and the first ten days of Thul-Hijjah. The
Prophetsaid:"No good deeds done on any other day are superior to those
done on these days )first ten days of Thul-Hijjah(."Some of his
Companions asked, "Not even Jihaad in the Path of Allaah?" He
replied:"Not even Jihaad in the Path of Allaah except that of a man
who leaves )for it( with his life and wealth and does not return with
either )i.e. he is martyred(."]Al-Bukhaari[
It was narrated that upon entering the month of Ramadhaan, the
Prophetwould say,"This month that has come has in it a night which is
better than a thousand months. Whoever is deprived of it has been
deprived of all of its goodness and none is deprived of its goodness
except the truly deprived."]Ibn Maajah[ As for Friday, the
Prophetsaid,"There is an hour on Friday in which a Muslim does not ask
Allaah for anything except that Allaah Will definitely Grant it to
him."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
The Prophetsaid,"Allaah Descends ]in a way that befits His Majesty[ in
the last third of every night and Says: 'I am the King… I am the King…
Is there anyone invoking Me that I May Respond to his invocation? Is
there anyone asking of Me so that I May Grant him his request? Is
there anyone asking My Forgiveness, so that I May Forgive him?' And
this continues until the break of dawn."]Muslim[
The Prophetalso said:"The supplication made in between the )two( calls
for prayer )i.e. Athaan and Iqaamah( will never be rejected."]Abu
Daawood, At-Tirmithi, An-Nasaa'i and Ahmad[ The Prophetsaid,"The
supplication made in between the )two( calls for prayer )i.e. Athaan
and Iqaamah( is answered, so supplicate."]Ibn 'Adiyy[
The Prophetsaid,"The slave is closest to his Lord when he is in
prostration; so supplicate Allaah much )in prostration(."]Muslim[ Also
among the times when supplications are answered is when facing the
enemy, when it is raining, when roosters are crowing, after obligatory
prayers and during prostration.
• Facing the Qiblah. Once, the Messenger of Allaahwent out to lead the
people in the prayer of Istisqaa' )prayer for seeking rain(. He faced
the Qiblah and kept invoking Allaah. ]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
• Raising the hands. It was narrated on the authority of 'Umar, May
Allaah Be Pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allaahused to raise
his hands when supplicating Allaah The Almighty. ]Al-Haakim[ The
Prophetalso said:"Allaah Is Considerate and Generous; He Does not Turn
away empty the hands of His servant when he raises them to Him."]Abu
Daawood, At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah[
• Praising Allaah The Almighty and asking Him to Confer His
Salutations on the Prophet: Salamah ibn Al-Akwa', May Allaah Be
Pleased with him, said, "I never heard the Messenger of Allaahbegin a
supplication other than by saying, 'Glory be to my Lord The Exalted,
The Bestower.'" ]Ahmad[
One day, the Messenger of Allaahheard a man saying, "O Allaah, I ask
You as I testify that none is worthy to be worshipped except You, The
One, The Absolute Who neither Begets nor Is Begotten, Nor is there to
Him any equivalent." The Prophetsaid,"Indeed, you have asked Allaah
with His Greatest Name upon which He Gives when He is Asked with it
and Answers when He is invoked by it."]Abu Daawood[
Fadhaalah ibn 'Ubayd, May Allaah Be Pleased with him, said,"Once,
while we were sitting with the Propheta man entered the mosque and
prayed and then said, 'Allaahumma'ghfir li warhamni ]O Allaah, Forgive
me for my sins and Bestow Your Mercy upon me[.' The Prophettold him:
'You have been hasty in your Du'aa' O you who are praying. When you
finish your prayer and are seated, you should first praise Allaah The
Exalted as He Deserves, then ask Him to Confer His blessings and peace
upon me , then Supplicate to Him.'"After this, another man entered and
prayed. Then he praised Allaah and asked Him to Confer His Peace upon
the Prophet. Thus, the Prophettold him,"O you who are praying, invoke
Allaah and He Will Answer your invocation."]Abu Daawood, At-Tirmithi
and An-Nasaa'i[
• Being persistent in supplication and repeating it thrice. 'Abdullaah
ibn Mas'ood, May Allaah Be Pleased with him, said, "If the
Prophetinvoked Allaah, he would do so thrice. And if he would ask
Allaah, he would do so thrice. And the Prophetsaid:"The supplication
of every one of you will be granted as long as he is not impatient and
say, 'I have supplicated my Lord but He has not answered
it.'"]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ The Prophetalso said:"None of you should
say, 'O Allaah, Forgive me if You Will, Have mercy upon me if You
Will. Rather, be determined in asking for Allaah Does whatever He
Wills and no one forces Him. )i.e. one should invoke Allaah The
Almighty with certainty that his supplications would be answered as
Allaah Has Power over all things.("]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
Sufyaan ibn 'Uyaynah, May Allaah Have mercy upon him, said, "None of
you should abstain from invoking Allaah because of what is apparent
from his sins as Allaah The Almighty answered the invocation of the
worst of creation, Iblees, May Allaah Curse him. Allaah The Almighty
Says )what means(:}He said, "My Lord, then reprieve me until the Day
they are resurrected." ]Allaah[ Said, "So indeed, you are of those
reprieved. Until the Day of the time well-known."{]Quran15: 36,37,38[
• Lowering the voice when supplicating. Allaah The Almighty Says )what
means(:}Call upon your Lord in humility and privately;{]Quran 7:55[
The Prophetsaid to the Companions, May Allaah Be Pleased with him,
when they raised their voices in supplication,"You are not calling
upon someone deaf or absent. You are calling upon One who is
All-Seeing and All-Hearing. He is with you all the time."]Muslim[
• Supplicating Allaah The Almighty with what was mentioned in the
Quran and the Sunnah. It is better for the Muslim to supplicate Allaah
The Almighty with what was mentioned in the Noble Quran of many
invocations such as:
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}"Our Lord, Forgive us our sins and the excess ]committed[ in our
affairs and Plant firmly our feet and Give us victory over the
disbelieving people."{]Quran 3:147[
•}"Our Lord, Give us in this world ]that which is[ good and in the
Hereafter ]that which is[ good and Protect us from the punishment of
the Fire."{]Quran 2:201[

Etiquettes of Supplicating- II

The Prophetused to invoke Allaah The Exalted saying:"Allaahumma anta
rabbi la ilaaha illa ant, khalaqtani wa ana 'abduk, wa ana 'ala
'ahdika wa wa'dika mastata't, a'oothu bika min sharri maa sana't,
aboo'u laka bini'matika, wa aboo'u laka bithanbi faghfir lee fa
innahoo la yaghfiru ath-thunooba illa ant )O Allaah, You are my Lord,
there is none worthy of worship except You. You Created me and I am
Your slave; and I abide by Your Covenant and Promise as best I can. I
take refuge in You from the evil that I committed and I am grateful to
You for the blessing that You Conferred on me. I acknowledge my sin,
so forgive me, for verily none can forgive sins except
You(."]Al-Bukhaari[ The Prophetalso said,"Allaahumma inni a'oothu bika
min ash shiqaaqi wan nifaaqi wa soo'u al akhlaaq )O Allaah, I seek
refuge with you from dissension, hypocrisy and bad
morals."]An-Nasaa'i[
• Avoiding exaggeration in making an invocation rhyme: A Muslim should
not exaggerate in making a supplication rhyme because this is a state
of humility and submissiveness. Ibn 'Abbaas, May Allaah Be Pleased
with him, said, "Avoid rhymes in supplication for the Prophetand his
Companions, May Allaah Be Pleased with them, used to avoid it."
]Al-Bukhaari[
Some of the righteous people said, "Invoke Allaah The Exalted with a
humble and mild tongue, not one that is eloquent and quick."
• Invoking Allaah The Almighty for one's self and then for others.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}"Our Lord, Forgive us and our
brothers who preceded us in faith and Put not in our hearts ]any[
resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are
Kind and Merciful."{]Quran 59:10[ The Prophetused to invoke Allaah The
Almighty for himself first before invoking Him for any other person.
]At-Tirmithi[
• Avoiding supplicating Allaah The Almighty against one's self,
family, wealth or children. The Prophetsaid,"Do not supplicate Allaah
against yourselves, your children or your wealth."]Muslim[
• Supplicating Allaah The Exalted for fellow brothers in their
absence. The Messenger of Allaahsaid,"The supplication of a Muslim for
another Muslim in his absence is accepted by Allaah. He has an
appointed angel at his head and every time he supplicates good for his
brother, the angel would say: "Aameen and for you the same."]Muslim[
• Invoking Allaah The Almighty for whoever does you a favor. The
Prophetsaid,"If a favor is performed for someone and he says to the
one who performed it, 'May Allaah Reward you.' He would be rewarding
him perfectly."]At-Tirmithi and An-Nasaa'i[ The Prophetalso
said,"Whoever does you a favor, reward him for it. And if you cannot
find the means of doing so, then keep supplicating for him until you
think that you have rewarded him adequately."]Abu Daawood and
An-Nasaa'i[
• Asking righteous people for supplications. A Muslim should ask his
fellow brothers to supplicate Allaah The Almighty for him especially
the righteous people. It was narrated that 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, May
Allaah Be Pleased with him, said, "I asked the Prophetfor permission
to perform 'Umrah and he granted it to me and said, 'O brother,
remember us in your supplication and do not forget us.' The words he
said pleased me more than could all that is in the life of this
world." ]At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah[
• Avoiding supplicating Allaah The Almighty for a sin or the severance
of kinship. The Prophetsaid:"A servant shall continue to have his
supplications answered so long as he does not supplicate for sins or
the severance of kinship."]Muslim[
• Remembering Allaah The Exalted, obeying Him and performing good
deeds. Being conscious of Allaah The Exalted, diligent on performing
acts of worship, abandoning sins and evils and hastening to repentance
makes supplication more likely to be answered. Allaah The Almighty
Says )what means(:}"Indeed, Allaah only Accepts from the righteous
]who fear Him[.{]Quran 5:27[ It was narrated that Allaah The Almighty
said in the Qudsi Hadeeth,"Whoever keeps himself busy with the Quran
and remembering Me, I Will Give him the best of all those who ask of
Me."]At-Tirmithi[
• Being keen on having lawful sustenance. The Prophetsaid,"O people,
Allaah Is Good and He Accepts only that which is good. And Allaah
Commanded the believers as He Commanded the Messengers by saying )what
means(:}"O messengers, eat from the good foods and work righteousness.
Indeed, I, of what you do, Am Knowing.{"]Quran 23:51[ And He Says
)what means(:}O you who have believed, eat from the good things which
We have provided for you and be grateful to Allaah if it is ]indeed[
Him that you worship.{]Quran 2:172[He then mentioned )the case of( a
man who has travelled a long distance – unkempt and dusty – and raises
his hands towards the heavens and says: 'O Lord, O Lord, while his
food, drink, clothing are from unlawful means and he is fed with
unlawful food. Then how could his supplication be answered?"]Muslim[
Ibraaheem ibn Adham, May Allaah Have mercy upon him, was once asked,
"Why are our supplications to Allaah The Exalted not answered?" He
answered, "Because your hearts have died due to ten things."
"1- You know Allaah The Almighty but do not obey Him.
2- You know the Prophetbut do not follow his Sunnah )tradition(.
3- You recite the Quran but do not act upon it.
4- You enjoy the Blessings of Allaah The Exalted without giving thanks.
5- You know of Paradise but do not exert any effort to enter it.
6- You know of Hell but you do not exert any effort to escape it.
7- You know of Satan but do not oppose him.
8- You know of death but do not prepare for it.
9- You bury your dead but do not learn from their example.
10- And in your state of slumber, you focus your attention on the
shortcomings of others while neglecting your own."