Story, - Beautifully Fake

Stranger: Hi(; asl?
You: Hey (: 14, female, Cali... Wbu?
Stranger: 17 male Kentucky
You: oh kool
Stranger: Wanna go out with me?
You: ..... Okay :) Text me?
(555) 555- 5555 My names Brenna
Stranger: Beautiful name I'm Steven... I just texted you
-You just disconnected-
Hey, my names ----- and this is my story...
It all started on a chatting website called 'Omegle'. I was bored and
had heard of it as being a really fun website... So I went on. I
talked to random perverts from all over the world, not for a long
enough time for them to say much, only for me to know that they were
horn-dogs! I met a guy, who I thought was a pervert but ended up not
one at all, he was sweet, cute, caring, and almost everything a girl
wants. Of course I found all this out AFTER saying yes to being his
girlfriend.
Why, did I say yes? Well... I thought it would be taken as a joke on
both sides but as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I
realized that this was the realist relationship I had ever had. I was
really starting to... Love him?
I'm not saying I know what love is, especially at the age of 14 at the
time... so before you start judging, hear me out... This guy, that I
so crazily fell in love with, was everything I had always dreamt of
having in a boyfriend...
Just for a minute, think to yourself about what kind of guy or even
girl you want in your life, your dream girl/ guy... That's how him and
I both felt, so we both thought.
I can keep going on and on about how much we loved each other but then
you would stop reading...
At the begging of the relationship, like I said I thought it was a
joke... But it grew into something of the complete opposite... He fell
in love with me and I fell in love with him... Only... I was fake. Not
as in, fake personality or not backing your shit up... Literally
pretending to be a complete different person.
I had tried to break up with him, for that reason... Knowing he would
find out sooner or later... But every time I tried to, he would try to
kill himself. Crazy, right? So I continued living a lie... It ate me
up inside... I wasn't proud of myself, pretending to be a girl I knew
all through elementary school... Stolen pictures, videos,
everything... I really screwed up.
We had been though so much, I can't even begin to describe all the
things we went though together. A lot of it you wouldn't even believe.
He was my very first love.
The day before our 1 year anniversary, and he finds out the truth...
About who I really was. I was so embarrassed... Didn't really know
what to do, I panicked and deleted the fake fb accounts, deleted
pictures, anything that proved that I had anything to do with it.
Once he found out, he asked me what my real name was, how old I was,
what I really looked like and then said he would have loved me for me,
that he thought I was beautiful and loved me still.
An hour later, he had tagged my real pictures on the girl I was
pretending to be (Brennas') Facebook. He told her everything... And
she was mad, she messaged me and said she was going to tell my
parents, and her dad. I blocked her.
For days I kept the phones by my side at all times, waiting for her to
call, just so I could say she has the wrong number. She never did
call...
And just when I thought I was as fake as can be, I hacked my "ex
boyfriends" facebook. He had told me so many times that he was dying,
his uncle died, his dad died, his mom died... He's adopted... All
false. And he also said he had never cheated on me...
We started dating 2-18-12 and from that day on, he had 10 other
girlfriends, them not knowing either. I couldn't get mad, no matter
how much I wanted to, I couldn't... Because I knew that what I did was
still worse that him cheating.
I learned my lesson.
Until my best friend, Manuel tells me that Steven wants to talk to
me... We talked, he said he had strong feelings for me still, and so
did I. We agreed on leaving the past where it lays and starting
something new.
*2-19-13*
We did everything the same as if nothing changed, we were being
ourselfs, telling each other we loved one another and giving a little
:* but this didn't last long... I can't say the reason, but for this
particular reason... We had to break up... Usually he fights to want
it back, but this time he didn't, and that's when I knew he didn't
love me anymore. I couldn't blame him, things between us changed in a
crazy and strange way. It was to much to handle and he needed to move
on. And so did I. That's why I'm writing this, so I can forget it...
Let it go. Nobody else knows about this, except for you. Lol
So, yea... That's my story and I hope you enjoyed reading it.
I know she may not see this, but I also wanted to apologize to Brenna
and her family for what I did, I did a wrong, and it was over the top,
but now that you know my story I hope you can forgive me. I don't
expect you to feel sorry for me or let it go. I just want you to
understand that I tried but couldn't at the same time. I'm sorry. -The
Real

Fathwa, - miscarriage

Question:
I recently had a miscarriage (induced labour) at my first scan I found
out that my 16 weeks (4 months) baby had a lot of fluid in its head,
lungs, stomach because of which it would not have survived...I took a
second opinion from a consultant and was told that it had less than
one percent chance of survival and if it did survive in any case it
would have been born with a disability and eventually would have
died..After a very difficult period and a lot of prayers at my second
attempt of hope of a scan the results were still the same and the
fluid had increased..I could not see my child in pain or death at a
later stage so after consulting my husband who is abroad waiting for a
visa we both decided that we couldn't keep it... accepted it as
Allah's will...I want to know was my decision right or wrong? I hope I
have not committed a sin as I only did what I thought was the right
thing to do rather than seeing its death at a later stage...
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful
Dear Sister,
I am sorry about what you had to go through. May Allah Ta'ala give you
patience and reunite you with your child in paradise.
It is not for me to tell you that what you did was right or wrong.
When a woman decides to end a pregnancy, it is a very personal
decision.
As long as you made istikhara and got some reliable medical advice,
then what can I say? All I have studied is that an abortion is
unlawful once the fetus enters 120 days, or roughly four months.
Given the sensitivity of the situation, please take the matter up with
a reliable local scholar.
May Allah Ta'ala make thing easy for you.

Fathwa, - Wearing jilbab: need encouragment

Question:
I am a practising Muslimah, I wear the hijaab but not a jilbaab,
recently I have really got it in my heart that I need to and I should
wear the jilbaab, I just feel a little confused, please can you give
me some encouragement because I could really do with some, because my
family don't really encourage me and I could do with their support, so
please help should I or shouldn't I, it may be the shaytaan playing
with my feelings and putting me in doubt. Jazakallah khair and the
site is mashallah very good may Allah bless you all for the good work,
and may he give you good in this life and the hereafter.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
I pray this message reaches you in good health and spirits this Ramadan.
Wearing jilbab is very commendable. Since you already wear hijab,
you've already won half the battle. Nothing should stop you from
wearing jilbab. Even if your family does not encourage it, this step
is completely up to you. Allah Ta'ala rewards actions done for His
sake. Jilbab is one of the best forms of modest dress, so, of course,
you should wear it. If you are feeling apprehensive about wearing
jilbab out in public, then be aware that your hijab already sets you
apart. So, alhamdulillah, you already have the courage to obey Allah
and wear your hijab with dignity. Putting on jilbab is simply another
step. Keep in mind that there are different forms of jilbab. For
example, you can wear a jumper or a dress and still have the coverage
that you'd have in a jilbab. You can experiment with different jilbab
styles to see what suits you best. Jilbabs are very elegant garments.
So don't worry about what people think. You may even find yourself
receiving compliments; the modest dress of Muslim women is both
feminine and dignified, and even some non-Muslims appreciate this.
So ask Allah for strength, don't make it more difficult than it should
be, and ignore the naysayers, whether they are Muslim or non-Muslim.
You do what you need to do for your deen. And try to find other
Muslimahs who are doing the same because a social network is
important.
May Allah reward you

Fathwa, - Difference in way of life in our marriage

Question:
My problem has been hurting me since I got divorced. My husband and I
have had issues since the beginning of our marriage. We disagreed on
many things getting into the marriage like how big the wedding should
be. If getting a ring was the right thing to do. How big should the
house we're buying going to be. I know these could be very trivial
issues compared to many disasters in the world and I realize this now
but the point is we entered this marriage with many stresses. I know I
wanted more than what he wanted to give but like any girl in my
position I had many suitors ask for my hand with great offers. I
picked one and hoped he will give me what I want. We had nikah right
away after the engagement and it lasted for a year before the wedding.
I felt helpless because I was already married and I wondered had I
stayed engaged , would he have granted me my wishes with much of a
struggle. We have a beautiful child now but we are divorced. We kept
having issues from his mother--incredible interference in all of our
affairs...where we live, when we should have a kid, how much money my
husband should spend on me and so forth. My other issue with my
husband is that I put on hijab right before I met him. We met and got
married. I felt that hijab got me into this mess. Now I'm accepting
the qadar of Allah more that I ever did before and I'm hoping for a
better life. He handled his mother's issues he says but the remaining
issue is how religious I am. I don't and never smoked or drank or
dated. I alhamdullilah am very pretty and I know that I could do all
of that and have fun but I don't want to. Allah's path is better that
any other. I just can't wear the hijab anymore. I emotionally and
physically suffer when I go out with it. I tried personal and family
counseling to fix this problem but we got nowhere we got divorced at a
time of anger. I asked for the divorce and he gave it to me. Now we
both regret it and want to get back together but the deciding factor
is me wearing hijab. He says that he won't expect much from me but he
needs some minimums and hijab is one of them. I really really
understand his point of view and he has every right to feel that way
but I'm really confused. I told him that I always tried to force
myself to do things for him so we won't destroy this marriage but this
time I'm having such a hard time and I am not good at explaining my
feelings. He asked me to stay with my parents until I have figured out
what I will do about hijab and based on that he will decide whether we
should stay together or not meaning divorce if I take it off. I am
lost. I don't want to break this family and I don't want to suffer
everyday. I pray and ask for guidance believe me and I will continue
to do that but for the mean time what do I do? I think sometimes why
couldn't he be more reasonable with me. Out of all of his friends he
one of the most strict ones I've met and yet he enjoys his life too. I
feel that my decision will affect my life, his and our son's and it
won't be pretty. I know I must have confused you already and I swear
I'm much more confused than I ever was. Many women don't wear hijab
but they aren't necessarily not religious. He has no faith in me now
and doesn't trust that I can be a good wife. I went through a lot with
him and what got to me the most is how ready he was to divorce me
whenever we had an issue. I hope your answer will guide me a little.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
Thank you for your question.
Given the seriousness of the situation, I strongly urge you and your
husband to seek marriage counseling.
There are only a few observations I can offer based on what I could
understand of your situation:
1.You and your husband have a child together. You owe it to your child
to consider the impact of a broken home on his future. Are your and
your husband's issues irreconcilable?
2.You seem to be very conflicted about the purpose and status of
hijab. Hijab is a command from Allah Most High. To make the hijab a
bone of contention between you and your husband is a mistake. Are you
really prepared to sacrifice your marriage over hijab?
3.There are obviously deeper issues than whether or not to wear hijab.
You and your husband appear to have some compatibility issues that
absolutely must be resolved before you go any further.
4.There are valuable lessons that can be learned from this situation.
You and your husband need to decide if you can make a fresh start.
(I'm assuming the divorce is non-finalized). You both need to make the
Guidance Prayerand mutually agree to seek marriage counseling to help
you work through these issues.
5.You both need to change the way you handle conflict. Threatening
divorce every time an issue crops up is unhealthy and, from a fiqh
perspective, risky.I pray you can work things out.