Story, - He doesn’t even consider kis ...

I am married for two years now and I am already used to the impatience
of my husband, every time we go to bed he wants to make wild sex (Ok,
not every day, but 3-4 times aweek). But after it's over he totally
loses interest inme – he immediately turns to the other side and falls
deeply asleep.
He is not as kind as to kissme, or caress me – he falls asleep in his
half of the bed, as if I don't exist.And this gets from bad to worse
for me.
I am asking myself " Does he need me at all – or he simply needs the
sexual satisfaction?"
I bury my head in the pillow and cry silently.
Sometimes he notices that I cry and opens his eyes in surprise – " Why
are you crying now? What is wrong again? " – and that's all.
I tried a couple of times to shorten the distance inbed after the
sexual act, to show him that I need caress and tenderness.
But nothing worked – "Go to sleep, I am tired, I need to get up early
in the morning cause I havean important meeting" – that would be his
way of turning down my attempts to show him that I need him after sex.
I don't know what to do?
I am afraid to tell it straight forward...
I don't want tenderness that is obtained by begging!

Story, - IT'S NOT MY LIFE

I appeal to the women, who are not spoilt, whichinsist on their
principals, but are forced to compromise, I appeal to the resigned
mothers who combine family withcareer, and I appeal to the beautiful
loners.
I have married 13 years ago against my parent's will. I've been crying
in my first marriage night, sitting on the bedroom suit. I gave birth
to two children, which are very close with me. They painfully miss me,
when Iam travelling, or I am working, or I am under treatment far from
home.
I will not go in details about my life.
My real problem, which I am trying intuitively to solve, started 4
years ago.We have never had regular sexual life with my husband, but
some years ago he definite boycotted the intimacy with me.
I've tried to talk to him – he didn't want. I did my best to be very
gentile with him – no success. I've been bagging him to sleep with me.
I am an attractive woman, lovable and tender. I could not find
explanation for his behavior. I felt physical pain from the need of
sex. I had dizziness, I fainted I've been trembling; my hands and
tongue were tingling. I had two hard nerve crises. I have been
testingdifferent medicines for a long time, while the doctors were
trying to diagnose my problem. I've passed so many diagnoses and
finally they said panic disease. During a scandal with myhusband he
mentioned that I am zero in the bed. I was so deeply hurt, that I
became speechless.
I haven't been touched by a man for about a year. The ruins from the
decided woman woke upin me and I betrayed. AndI did it again – with
otherman. I started to discoverhow different I can be when I am really
excited. Excuse me for the naturalistic descriptions, but I have
nothing to lose, a lot of women would understand.
My husband was jealous, even though he didn't know for the others. I
was trying not to be. When one morning he said that he'd been writing
SMS with a woman we knew, but her husband understood.Everything
turned. He had been sleeping with her. He did not deny. Before the
confession sheused to come to our house only when he was alone. After
his confession about the relationship with her I started to calm him
down. It was seen he wasmuch tensed. The atmosphere at home
waspoisoned for the next two weeks. I wished to hurt him, and I told
him I had other men too. Since that moment already seven months except
thatwe don't make sex, we talk officially only. We started to chase
each other. And we fight in a really ugly way.
We have totally different eyesight for our kids' upbringing.
No more tenderness.
Each of us steals it outside. He sits chatting when we are at home. I
start to act bitingly.
We turned on co-tenant, which are growing up common kids. We hate each
other. We are jealous form each other. We can't stand each other. We
avoid each other. We talked for separation.
He said he can't stay away from our daughter.What about our son? I
can't live without my kids, but I can't bear him anymore. I feel
incapableof falling in love again. He suspects I want to live with
another man. It's funny and miserable. I just can't live with him. I
am shocked. I can't leave.And I have no where. I have no resources. I
am unable to take care of mykids alone. And I can't stay without them.
It's a long story.
What am I supposed to do??

The Prophet's way in correcting people's mistakes

Anas Ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said:"Whilst we were in
the Mosque with the Messenger of Allaha Bedouin came and stood
urinating in the Mosque. The Companions of the Messenger of Allahsaid,
'Stop it! Stop it!' and were about to attack him. But the Messenger of
Allahsaid, 'Do not interrupt him; leave him alone.' So they lefthim
until he had finished urinating, then the Messenger of Allahcalled him
and said to him, 'In these Mosques it is not right to do anything like
urinating or defecating; they are only for remembering Allaah, praying
and reading Qur'aan,' or words to that effect. Then he commanded a man
who was there to bring a bucket of water and throw it over the
)urine(, andhe did so.")Muslim(
The principle which the Prophetfollowed in dealing with this mistake
was to treat the man gently, not to be harsh with him.
The Prophetwas thinking of the likely consequences of the two options
- stopping him or leaving him alone. If they tried to stop him,
forcing a man to suppress his urination could do him harm, and if he
was unable to stop but moved away because he was afraid of them, the
impurity would be spread over a wider area of the Mosque and on the
man's body and clothing. TheProphethad the farsightedness to see that
leavingthe man alone until he had finished urinating was the lesser of
two evils, especially since the man had already started doing it,and
it was a problem that they would be able to do something about by
cleaning it afterwards. So he told his companions to leave him alone
and not to interrupt him.
Ibn Hajarmentioned in his commentary a number of things we learn from
the hadith about the Bedouin, among which are the following:
- We should be gentle when dealing with one who is ignorantand teach
him what he needs to know without rebuking him, so long as he is not
acting out of stubbornness, especially if he is one who needs to be
won over.
- The Prophetwas kind and he dealt nicely with him.
- The idea of taking precautions against impurity was established well
in the minds of the Sahabah)Prophet's companions(, which is why they
hastened to denounce it in the presence of the Prophetwithout first
asking his permission. The idea of enjoining what is good and
forbidding what is evil was also well established in their minds.
- We should also hasten to remove anything objectionable when there is
nothing to stop us from doing so, because when theman had finished
urinating, the Prophetissued instructions that the place should be
cleaned with water.
Explaining the seriousness of the mistake
Ibn 'Umar, Muhammad Ibn Ka'b, Zayd Ibn Aslam and Qutadahreported )the
following is compiled from their reports( thatduring the campaign of
Tabook, aman said, "We have never seen anyone who loves food and tells
lies more than our rectors, or anyone who is more cowardly in the
battlefield" - referring to the Messenger of Allahand his Companions.
Awf Ibn Malik said, 'You are lying! You are a hypocrite, and I am
going to tell the Messenger of Allah. ' Awf went to the Messenger of
Allahto tell him, but found that Qur'aan had already been revealed
concerningit. That man came to the Prophetwho was riding his camel,
and said, "O Messenger of Allahwe were only talking idly and joking,
just to pass time in the journey." Ibn 'Umarsaid, "It is as if I saw
him hanging onto the reins of the Prophet's camel, with the stones
hitting his feet, saying, "We were only talking idlyand joking,"
whilst the Messenger of Allahwas reciting )what means(:
"Say: 'Is it Allah and His verses and His Messenger that you were
mocking?'")Qur'an 9: 65(
We see that the prophet's reply to these abominable remarks was by
reciting some verses of the Qur'aan by which this man was told that
Allaah and His Messenger are far above mocking. Hedidn't become
enraged or order that the man should be punished severely. Any one
else may do that, but the Prophet was sent as a mercy to all creation
and to be an exampleof how people should behave.

Doctor Bee

In the Quran, Allaah, Almighty, Says )what means(:"And your Lord
inspired the bees, saying: 'Take you habitations in the mountains and
in the trees and in what they erect. Then, eat of all fruits, and
follow the ways of your Lord made easy ]for you[.' There comes forth
from their bellies, a drink of varying color wherein is healing for
men. Verily, in this is indeed a sign for people who think."]Quran 16:
68-69[
I am the doctor; I am the handcrafter of medicine. You come to me to
take your medicine from my pharmacy, the one that I prepare myself to
heal you, Allaah willing, from your diseases. The medicine I make
never tastes bitter to annoy whoever takes it; on the contrary,it is
sweet and delicious and everyone likes it. In fact, it has many colors
and many odors; it smells like roses in the garden, flowers and basil,
or even jasmine. The colors of my medicine are pure and beautiful:
pure white, red, or yellow.
Its healing power is guaranteed, and the patient does not need a
medical check by the physician; furthermore, whoever takes it will not
have any side effects or complications because it heals and
strengthens, it is always useful and never useless.
None of the whole creation can make such medicine because it is my
secret and no one else can have it. In fact, no creature taught me
this secret; moreover, I never went to school and never studied at any
university. However, I am excellent at manufacturing this healing
medicine.
Do not wonder at this speech, and do not say: "How should we believe?
These are just dreams." In fact, I am not dreaming or lying; I am
telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
Do you want to know who taught me my secret? He is the Great Creator,
Allaah, Almighty, Who created me and taught me the right path and
guided me by His inspiration and simplified thisability for me.
Allaah, Almighty, created a great factory in my tiny body, in which
there are very minute instruments that make this medicine. After that,
He permitted me to go and extract materials from fruits and roses'
nectar that would never harm the rose; then I mix that nectar inmy
body to let my instruments work with the Aid of the All-Powerful
Allaah to extract an excellent medicine, pure and veryuseful. Do you
know now who I am?
Yes, I guess you know that I am the BEE, and the medicine I make is
honey. I am a very tiny hyperactive creature that never tires or
becomes lazy or even sick. I usually do my work with determination and
never feel bored, but rather I spend my whole life making honey.
Allaah, Almighty, inspired me to build my well-organized shelter, so I
build it in a hexagonal shape,strongly fixed from its ends; thenHe let
me fly easily using my tiny wings in order to reach the valleys and
the green fields extracting flowers' nectar and tasting many fruits
before I return home. When I return, I empty all that I collected,
then store it. Then I go out again, and so on, feeling neither fatigue
nor boredom.
As a matter of fact, I do not ask any recompense from you for my
effort except to consider my existence and respect my living space.
Therefore, I do not like anyone to threaten my life or assault me
because we, bees, do not like aggression and we love to live safely.
However, if anyone attempts to endanger our lives, we are very brave
and our weapons are our stinging lances. Our soldiers sacrifice their
lives for the defense of our kingdom and they are fierce in battle for
a sting would certainly cost a bee its life.That is because its
stinging lance is attached to its vital organs, and when it impales
its victim its bowels exit its body and it dies horribly as you see.
Allaah, Almighty, has honored us in His Book )Quran( and featured us
by giving one chapter of His Book our name and has granted us the
honor of His inspiration. Not only that, but He, Almighty, predestined
our lives and guided us to the way of our work. If you want to know
something about our kingdom or the organization of our government,
then our kingdom does not differ much from yours, and our government
resembles yours to a great extent.
We have a Queen who rules us and whom we obey and guard. The work is
divided among us: some make wax, others work in honey and another team
builds the shelters, while still others bring water. We usually arise
veryearly in the morning, and our drone's example has led to people
saying: "he wakes as earlyas a drone."
Some of our hive members keep flapping their wings to refresh the air
of the cell, and some are the soldiers and yet some others are just
males. We shall return now, dear friends, to my medicine.
Honey has been mentioned in theQuran, and Allaah, Almighty, described
it as a cure for what ails people. It is a sterilized medicine in
which no microbe or insect can live. If you want to be sure of this
power take some honey and put an insect in it and you will find that
it will be dead in a few seconds.
Honey is a cure for so many diseases, and it is the medicine
recommended by our Prophet Muhammadwho said:"You have the two cures:
Honey and the Quran."]Ibn Maajah[
Moreover, honey is mentioned in the Quran when Allaah,
Almighty,speaking about the rivers of Paradise, Says )what
means(:"Thedescription of Paradise which thepious have been promised
]is that[ in it are rivers of water, the taste and smell of which are
not changed, rivers of milk of which the taste never changes, rivers
of wine delicious to those who drink, and rivers of clarified honey
]clear and pure[..."]Quran 47: 15[
A man came to the Prophetand said:"My brother has some abdominal
trouble." The Prophetsaid to him: "Let him drink honey," - the man
came for the second time and the Prophetsaid to him "Let him drink
honey." - He came for the third time and the Prophetsaid,"Let him
drink honey." - He returned again and said, "I have done that." The
Prophetthen said, "Allaah has said the truth, but your brother's
abdomen has told a lie. Let him drink honey." So he made him drink
honey and he was cured at last."
Some doctors said that the patient mentioned in the Hadeeth had the
following situation: That man had some harmful wastes gathered in his
abdomen. So when he drank honey for the first time, the wastes
disintegrated and left his body gradually. The wastes were discharged
from the patient's body and he was cured by the Power of Allaah,
Almighty.
Now have you been acquainted with my whole life, dear friends? I guess
you love me now and you are not afraid of me anymore, because as you
see I harm no oneexcept the one who harms me, since my sting costs me
my life.
So be my good friends and allow me to do the work that Allaah,
Almighty, has inspired and taught me to do. Peace be with you.