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Monday, August 26, 2013

Story, - Jealousy or what ...

Comments: 3
I have been married for five wonderful years. We have it all mutual
understanding, common interests, good sex life, nothing to complain
about not even financial troubles. But I have a problem.
My husband is one of those charming men withperfect manners who
captivate everyone with ease. That is one of the reasons why I married
him but nowadays this part of his personality makes me nervous.
It really bothers me whenhe pays attention to other women or when they
pay too much attention to him. It doesn't matter if it is a family
friend, a waitress, the next door neighbor or even my sister. I get
unreasonably angry and start thinking he is cheating on me with the
woman he is talking to. I bite my tongue and thinkof a reason why they
should end the conversation.
The monotony is killing me and I think it does thesame to him. So I
don't understand why his innocent flirting is bothering me so much.
I hate that I spoil my ownmood because of such trivial things.

Story, - True Love truned into nightmare

Hi, my name is James and my wife name is Angel. We have been together
now for 5 years. Let me start with my background before I met my wife.
Like all men, I too was enjoying my life to the fullest. I had lot of
friends; went on a weekend outing, drinks, party and so on. I am a
Christian and she is a Hindu and I had a lot of opposition from my
parents and families. Even my friends advised me to stop seeing her
and start new considering the consequences. But I was so much in love
with her that I thought it is worth to live with her for 2 minutes and
die rather than living without her for rest of the life. I somehow
convinced my parents and families risking my father's life. Due to all
this chaos he had a major cardiac arrest and underwent bypass surgery.
My mom'sblood pressure shoot to 190 and she bled from nose. Doctor
said that shewas lucky to live because with such high BP she could
have had a cardiac arrest and would have never recovered. Well, I
faced all these problems but still was firm to my parents that she is
the one. I started losing interest in everything; started coming home
drinking a lot, met with an accident and was just seconds away from
death. My parents looking at my ordeal approved our wedding and we got
married.
I could have married Angel without my parent's consent, but my parents
have done so much for me that I want their blessing in my wedding. We
got married and everything was going fine for 5 to 6 months and then
problems started. Considering that I am now a married person and have
a lot of responsibilities I started concentrating in my work. I
distanced myself with all of my friends, started working for 16hrsa
day (so that I can have overtime), and even started working on
weekends. All my hard work paid off, I was promoted as an Asst.
Manager and had a salaryhike of 75%.
The problem is my wife issuspicious on me for everything; she checks
my mobile call log, messages and even my purse. She does not let me go
out even for a minute, she keeps on calling me all day checking where
I am, what I am doing, with who I am. She checks my mobile for unknown
numbers and calls them back from her mobile to see if that is a male
or a female. If it is a female, she creates such a ruckus that I feel
like I am becoming a murderer with all the negative thoughts (can't
explain it here). Well, being a manager I have a lot of
responsibilities and get calls all day long. I really don't know what
to do; I love her more than anything but her behaviour has made to
think again. I have sacrificed my life so muchfor her and still
sacrifice a lot but she pushes me to the limit.
It is no use talking to her,I have tried so many times to try to talk
it to her and have her understand that her behaviour is not right.
ByGod's grace I have everything now and financially well settled. I am
just thinking if she is really worth all my sacrifices or if I should
move on without her.

Fathwa, - Something funny happened in my menstrual cycle�

Question:
A sister asked me about an issue and I thought I would put the
question to this website.
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum
In the Name of Allah the Inspirer to truth.
To answer this and other similar questions relatingto menstruation one
needs to keep the basic principles of menstruation in mind. Namely:
The minimum period for menstruation is three days (72 hours). This
means that if blood is seen for less than three days, it does not
count asmenstruation. The maximum period for menstruation is ten days
(240 hours). This means that if blood is seen for more than ten days,
it does not count as menstruation. A ladies habit ('aada) is the
length of her last valid menstruation. If she sees bleeding for more
than ten days then the length of her habit is considered
menstruationand what exceeds that is considered abnormal uterine
bleeding (istihada). For example, ifthe previous menstrual period
lasted 6 days, and the next time she sees blood for 14 days, she will
consider 6 of these days as menstruation (based on her habit) and the
other 8 days as abnormal uterine bleeding. She should have taken a
ghusl at thecompletion of day 10, even if there is bleeding. Seeing
that the bleeding goes over the maximum, she returns to her habit. All
the prayers missed from day 6 at the end of her habit to day 10 must
be made up.
It is not a condition that blood flow be constant during the menstrual
period. What is important is the first and last days it flows on and
all that is in between is counted as though bloodflowed though in
reality it might not have. For example, if she sees blood on the first
day and then the fourth day and then no more blood, this will be
treated as four continuous days of bleeding and will all be treated as
menstruation. The minimum length of apurity period between menstrual
periods is fifteen days. Whatever is seen during the menstrual period
is counted as menstrual blood no matter what colour it is. [Hashiya
al-Tahtawi 'ala Maraqi al-Falah, 1:199, Maktaba al-'Ilm al-Hadith]
These are the general principles that apply to most cases. A seventh
principle that can be derived from 3 and 4 above applies to the
specific case asked about. Namely; that an incomplete purity
periodbetween blood flows is treated as though blood flowed on all of
those days. An incomplete purity period is one that lasts for less
than fifteen days. This means that if a lady sees bleeding one day and
then no bleeding for 12days and then sees bleeding again, because the
purityperiod was incomplete as it was less than 15 days, she will
treat it as though she saw 14 days of constant bleeding. What does she
do in sucha case? She has to return to her habit as in 4 above. She
will have to calculate her menstruation and purity based on her habit
for bleeding and purity.
In the question above, from July 1st to September 24th there was no
complete purity period between bleedings and so she willtreat it as
though she bled constantly for those two months. To determine when she
will be menstruating and when not depends on her habit for
menstruation and purity which was not stated. If we take as an example
that her last menstruation lasted 8 days and her last purity lasted 20

Fathwa, - Can my wife continue memorizing Qur'an during menstruation

Question:
If my wife is memorizing the Qur'an, can she continue memorizing while
she is in a state of menstruation?
Answer:
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
In the Hanafi school, she can listen to the Qur'an and "read" (in her
mind) without "reciting" (with her tongue).