Believers' bonds of love are a shield that eliminates oppression

One of the main characteristics of Muslims is that they have a great
love of Allah, Allah's messengers and prophets and for all Muslims
who seek Allah's approval. This bond of love and friendship between
believers is revealed as follows in the Qur'an:
" Your friend is only Allah and His Messenger and those who have
iman: those who establish prayer and pay alms, and bow." (Surat
al-Ma'ida, 55)
Muslims Love for One Another Is a Manifestation of the Profound
Love and Passion for Allah
The true source of Muslims' love for one another is their profound
love of Allah. Believers whose aim in the life of this world is to
earn the approval and mercy of Allah and paradise spend their whole
lives for Allah. As revealed in the Qur'an in the verse " Say: 'My
prayer and my rites, my living and my dying, are for Allah alone,
the Lord of all the worlds, " (Surat al-An'am, 162) , they seek to
earn Allah's approval in all they do and in all their behavior. The
love of believers who dedicate all they have to earning Allah's
approval is also for Allah alone.
The love of a believer who knows Allah, who witnesses His might and
greatness at every moment and who feels His love, affection and
mercy throughout his life, is incomparable stronger than any other
love. His love for other believers will similarly be powerful and
profound since it is based on love of Allah. The fact that he knows
that the friendship he enjoys with other believers will last for all
time in the hereafter is another reason for that being very strong
and permanent. Allah cites the moral values of the Prophet John
(pbuh) in the Qur'an as an example of the love of believers:
"[After the child had been born and grown We said], 'John, take
hold of the Book with vigor.' We gave him judgment while still a
child, and tenderness and purity from Us – he had piety –" (Surah
Maryam, 12-13)
Our Prophet (saas) also reveals in the hadiths that believers' love
for one another is for Allah's approval:
Abu Zarr (pbuh) relates: "Rasulullah (saas) said: "The most virtuous
of deeds is to love for Allah's sake and to hate for Allah's sake."
(Kütüb-i Sitte, Vol. 10, p. 140; Abû Dâvud, Sünnet 3, 4599)
"The strongest bonds of faith are friendship for Allah, enmity for
Allah and love for Allah." (Kütüb-i Sitte, Vol. 10, p. 141)
Believers with a great love and fear of Allah and who honestly
strive for His approval of them, are auspicious people who bring
beauty to the world. Because of these superior virtues they also
love Allah's creations, feel affection and compassion for them, and
wish to protect them and do them good.
Allah has revealed that in return for this fine love and their
sincere devotion to our Lord that stem from the faith in believers'
hearts and their fear of Him, they will be rewarded with paradise,
the place of the best love and devotion.
The Qur'an is the Basis of Love
Our Lord does not only command His servants to love in the Qur'an. He
also describes in detail what form the foundation of love will
take. For example, He reveals that at the basis of a person's love
for someone else will lie patience, loyalty, generosity, care,
truthfulness, courage, protectiveness and loving other more than
one loves oneself. Allah refers to this love as follows in the
Qur'an:
" Those who were already settled in the abode, and in faith, before
they came, love those who have made pilrgrimage to them and do not
find in their hearts any need for what they have been given and
prefer them to themselves even if they themselves are needy. It is
the people who are safe-guarded from the avarice of their own
selves who are successful." (Surat al-Hashr, 9)
As revealed in this verse, characteristics such as consideration,
loyalty and fortitude are the most significant indicators of love.
People who are egotistical and selfish, and not patient and
forgiving, are totally devoid of true love. Our Lord, who of course
has a flawless knowledge of the behavior and attitudes of the
servants He creates, their psychology in other words, describes the
features of people who are loveless and do not behave in accordance
with the moral values of the Qur'an in detail in that book, and
thus makes it easier for Muslims to identify those characteristics.
Allah reveals in the Qur'an that hard work and care and attention
are necessary for love. He notes that loves needs to be tended, just
like a flower. Some people who do not know the true love that
Allah describes in the Qur'an imagine that love is dependent on
physical appearance and that people can only be loved if they are
attractive. Yet people's anatomical structures consist of flesh,
fat, bone and blood; therefore, were it not for the skin, the work
of Allah's matchless creation, there would be very little about people
to like. People who turn their love toward matter do not in fact
love that appearance. It is at this point that the basis of the
true love that believers feel for one another emerges. This is
because believers love people, not just for their external
appearance, but for the moral virtues they embody in their souls.
And it is believers who live by the moral values of the Qur'an and
seek the approval of Allah who possesses these moral qualities. For
that reason, MUSLIMS LOVE OTHER MUSLIMS. AND AMONG MUSLIMS, THEY
MOST LOVE THOSE THEY REGARD AS HAVING THE MOST PIETY AND BEING THE
MOST SINCERE BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE QUR'AN, LOVE IS DEPENDENT ON
PEITY, AND MUSLIMS MOST LOVE THE PERSON THEY REGARD AS HAVING MOST
OF ALLAH'S APPROVAL. This is revealed as follows in a verse :
" Some people set up equals to Allah, loving them as they should
love Allah. But those who have faith have greater love for Allah. If
only you could see those who do wrong at the time when they see the
punishment, and that truly all strength belongs to Allah, and that
Allah is severe in punishment." (Surat al-Baqara, 165)

Fathwa, - Relationships

Question:
There is a big difference between love & arranged marriages, or so
I've heard. But what I don'tunderstand is how love marriages can
actually "exist" if you don't become their boyfriend or friend first.
When you have a love relationship with someone you must getto know the
person first before deciding on something big like marrying them! But,
if you started to hang out with that person, wouldn't you become their
"boyfriend" or"girlfriend"? Please help me clear this up.:)
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
I pray this message finds you well.
Let's address some issues and definitions here.
An "arranged" marriage does not have to be absent of love. Even in a
situation where the marriage is arranged by parents or relatives, it's
possible for the intendedcouple to get to know one another and come
tolove each other.
A "love" marriage is not necessarily all about love. In fact, many
people think they love each other only to get married and find out
that what they thought was love was really just lust.
It is possible to have a"love" marriage without becoming someone's
boyfriend or girlfriend or dating. However, given the tendencies of
human nature, it is difficult to stay within the limits of the
Shariah. That is why Muslim cultures place a lot of emphasis on
marriages being family affairs. And that is why Islamic law places
strict conditions on interactions between unmarried males and females.
It is possible for two people to love each other based on qualities
like character, piety, compassion, and personality. It doesn't always
have to be physical. However, it is really only through marriage that
love is both tested and strengthened. That is why it is best--to the
extent possible--to save these strong feelings for after marriage,
where they can be acted upon in a lawful fashion.
And Allah knows best.

Fathwa, - Christian man wants to convert for marriage

Question:
It has been a while that I'm seeing a Christian, and he wanted to
marry me and he said that he is willing to do whateverit takes which
means that he is ready to become a Muslim but the question is I'm
afraid to go into this relation ship because what if he converted and
didn't believe in it? Wouldn't it be wrong? By the way I'mmuhajaba.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May Allah's peace and blessings shower upon our beloved Messenger.
Dear Sister,
I pray that this message finds you in good health and iman.
I advise you, woman to woman, to exercise the utmost caution in this
situation. Love often blinds us to certain realities. When a Muslim
woman becomes attracted to a non-Muslim man, she needs to ask herself
some questions.
1. Why do I love this person? How is he bringing me closer to myCreator?
2. If I weren't in the picture, would he still be interested in Islam?
3. Do I want to be married to a man whose sole interest in Islam is
because of me, rather than for Allah?
4. What happens if we marry and have children? Will he be able to
provide a good example of Muslim manhood, especially to my sons?
5. How will this affect myrelationship with my family, especially my parents?
6. How will I get along with non-Muslim in-laws? Will I be comfortable
in such a situation?
My advice to you is to stop seeing him in private, if that is indeed
the case. The only time you should see him is in the presence of your
father or wali (male guardian). Introduce himto practicing Muslim men.
This is the difficult part: you need to separate your emotions from
this situation and really thinkabout the consequences of such a
marriage. There is the possibility that he may become Muslim and never
practice. This has happened to many Muslim women, who often find
themselves wishing that they'd considered the long-term. Or, he may
end up being a very sincere Muslim. Only AllahMost High knows what is
in his heart.
What you must do is be the best example of a Muslima to him. Show him
by your character and conduct the right way to do things: the way that
is most pleasingto Allah.
Turn to Allah with your hopes and prayers. Make istikhara, the
guidance prayer. You can view the details at:
http://qa.sunnipath.com /issue_view.asp?HD=1& ID=1056&CATE=4.
Last, but certainly not least, please consult yourfamily. You
absolutely need to involve them in this process. I've witnessed the
heartbreak that can ensue when a Muslim woman picks a spouse
completely against the wishes of her family. Please consider your
family's feelings.

Fathwa, - My Husband Doesn'tWant Children Now

Question:
wI am 25 and my husband is 28. We have been married 9 months and are
both working but living with relatives. We are planning inshaAllah to
move on our own in January. Thing is I really very much want to start
having children soon, but my husband wants to wait2 or more years.
I''m really unhappy with this decision. His reason is he wants us to
save money and possibly continue his studies, pay his debts and save
for our future. I''m very happy with my husband and our marriage but
I''m very much desiring to be a mother sooner rather than later.
Shouldn''t he have more trust in Allah?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May the peace and blessings of Allah showerupon our beloved Messenger.
Dear Sister,
The key to resolving this situation is to maintain open, loving
communication with your spouse. A woman's heart may yearn for
children, while her husband may want to wait. Sometimes the reverse is
true: he's ready right away and she wants to wait.
I know that the maternalurge is very strong. But it's also important
to consider both the short and the long term. An important decision
such as this one should be mutual.
I do suggest that you give your husband a little more time for the
simple reason that you are still newlyweds. Becoming parents
completely changes your life. It is very beneficial for husband and
wife to establish a firm marital foundation and a solid relationship
before having children. Then when the stresses of parenthood come into
play, husband and wife have a repository of strength, love, and
friendship to draw upon.
Trust me, having kids canbe stressful, albeit the stress is good
stress. Takethis time to enjoy each other and the activities that
become very difficult or even impossible to do once you start a
family.
It's also important to make your expectations very clear to your
husband. While you may be willing to wait a while, let him know that
you don't want to hold off indefinitely. Now is the time to understand
how the female body works. Most women are in their childbearing prime
in their 20s. After awoman reaches age 30 or 35, her fertility begins
to decline and conception does becomemore difficult. So it's a good
idea to set a date so to speak and look forward to the anticipation of
conception and parenthood. It's a wonderful thing to plan for.
I don't think it's an issue of your husband not trusting in Allah Most
High enough. Give him the benefit of the doubt. You live with
relatives, and he wants to continue his studies. When you have your
own family, you will definitely want your own space. I think he's also
being prudent to consider your finances. Having children requires some
income. For example, there's the cost of prenatal care, your hospital
stay, decorating the nursery, laying in all those supplies, as well as
your child's well-baby visits. It is actually in your future child's
or children's best interests for Mom and Dad to be as prepared as
possible.
Last, but certainly not least, both of you should make istikhara. Turn
to Allah Most High for guidance in all situations; Allah willing you
will make the best decision. And emphasize the sunna of our
belovedMessenger, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. The Prophet
lovedchildren and taught his Ummah to be kind and generous to the
young. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, "When a man dies, accrual
of merit in his favor from good deeds ceases except from three
actions: 1. A charity which continues after hisdeath; 2. Knowledge
left behind from which men continue to benefit, and 3. Righteous
offspring who pray for him." (Muslim 4005)