'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
-
{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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be partially blamed? Not to say that they did not have intercourse for
months or so, but refrained from sexual intimacy for a much shorter
time (such as a week or more weeks, past the time the menstrual time
has ended and intimacy is possible but has not occurred for whatever
reason). Can he justify his actions by saying that she will get the
sin because he did not fulfill his desires? Can at any point the wife
be blamed, if it is a long period of time since sexual intimacy?
Praise be to Allah.
One of the worst things that the one who has been disobedient towards
Allah can do is trying to justify his sin by referring to something
that is worse than it and trying to justify his transgression of the
sacred limits by making up excuses when he knows that the truth of the
matter is that he was overcome bydesires, by his nafs (self) that
prompts him to do evil, lust that he could not control and a conscious
decision to commit this action.
And he does this at the time when what the onewho has committed an
action that is contrary toIslam should do is hastento admit his
shortcomings and ask Allah for forgiveness. Allah, may He be glorified
and exalted, loves for His slave who has slipped up and falleninto the
mire of immoralactions to hasten to regret it and turn to his Lord,
may He be glorified, and admit what he has done, then ask Allah, may
He be glorified and exalted, to forgive him, help to do righteous
deeds and protect him from evil deeds. Allah, may He be glorified and
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic
Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him, (in Islam), before the
torment comes upon you, then you will not behelped"
[az-Zumar 39:54]
"And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual
intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and
ask forgiveness for their sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allah
- And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know"
[Aal 'Imraan 3:135].
We may ponder the story of our father Adam (peace be upon him) and how
he hastened to admit his sin and take responsibility for what he had
done and for his shortcomings. Allah, mayHe be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"They said: "Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us
not, and bestow not upon us Your Mercy, we shall certainly be of the
losers"
[al-A 'raaf 7:23].
So Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, rewarded him by accepting
his repentance and forgiving him, by His grace. Allah, may He be
glorified, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Then Adam received from his Lord Words . And his Lord pardoned him
(accepted his repentance). Verily, He isthe One Who forgives (accepts
repentance), the Most Merciful"
[al-Baqarah 2:37].
This is a good example for all of us; we should remember the grace
andkindness of Allah, and we should put our trust in Him acknowledging
our sins and our wrongdoing towards ourselves, and we should hasten to
repent as Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"If they (hypocrites), when they had been unjust to themselves, had
come to you (Muhammad SAW) and begged Allahs Forgiveness, and the
Messenger had begged forgiveness for them: indeed, they would
havefound Allah All-Forgiving(One Who accepts repentance), Most
Merciful"
[an-Nisa' 4:64].
As for the accursed Iblees, he persisted in hisdisobedience and did
not admit his shortcomings; rather he tried to pin the blame onothers
and he argued about his reasons for going against the command of
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, as Allah tells us
(interpretation of the meaning):
"(Allah) said: 'What prevented you (O Iblees) that you did not
prostrate, when I commanded you?' Ibleessaid: 'I am better than him
(Adam), You created me from fire, and him You created from clay.'
(Allah) said: '(O Iblees) get down from this (Paradise), it is not for
you to be arrogant here.Get out, for you are of those humiliated and
disgraced.'"
[al-A'raaf 7:12-13].
On the other hand:
It is not permissible for the wife to try to justify her disobedience
by forsaking her husband's bed with made-up excuses. Marital
intimacyis a confirmed right and there is a stern warning against
wives who fall short in that regard. The Prophet (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) said: "If a man calls his wife to his bed and
she does not come to him, and he goes to sleep angry with her,
theangels will curse her until morning."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3237) and Muslim (1436).
This is a stern warning to every wife who refuses to share her
husband's bed for any reason other than a legitimate shar'i excuse
such as menses, nifaas (postpartum bleeding) or sickness. If she
refusesfor several weeks, then the sin is greater and more abhorrent,
and sheis required to repent and seek forgiveness, and also ask her
husband to forgive her, so as to turn over a new leaf and to create a
calm and happy family atmosphere in the home, filled with
tranquillity, respect and fulfilment of rights and duties.
And Allah knows best.
