- Social Problems - Advice and guidelines for someone who cannot mix with people and prefers to stay homealone.

I cannot bear to mix with people and I prefer to be alone. I feel that
I am in a state of distress when I mix with others. The Messenger
(blessingsand peace of Allah be upon him) commanded us to pray in the
mosque. What should I do? I would rather not pray than pray in the
mosque.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The situation you are in does not only have to dowith praying in the
mosque, rather it has to do with other duties which require you to go
out of the house, such asupholding ties of kinship, earning money so
that you can live, seeking knowledge, enjoining what is good,
forbidding what is evil, and so on.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The fact of the matter is that mixing may sometimes be obligatoryor
mustahabb. An individual may be enjoined to mix with others sometimes
and toremain alone sometimes.That depends on the purpose. If mixing
with others is for the purposeof cooperating in righteousness and
piety, then it is enjoined; but ifit is for the purpose of cooperating
in sin and transgression, then it is forbidden. Mixing with Muslims is
a kind of worship, as in the case of the five daily prayers, Jumu'ah,
Eid, eclipse prayers, prayers for rain and so on. This is something
that Allah andHis Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
have enjoined. The same applies to mixing with them on Hajj and when
fighting the kuffaar and rebels, even if the leaders of that are
evildoers and even if there are some evildoersamong the people
involved.
The same applies to being involved in gatherings that increase a
person's faith, either because he benefits from these gatherings orhe
can benefit others, and so on.
Majmoo' al-Fataawa, 10/425
Thus you can see that the way you are is something that is not
pleasing to the Lord of the Worlds, and you have to look again at
thesituation and realise thatwhat you are doing is a trick from the
shaytaan who is making your situation and your bad deed look good to
you. Beware of him and his tricks, and get ready to fight him, and
trust that your Lord will help you by granting victory against him.
Secondly:
If you feel distress when mixing with people, then we can be certain
that you will never be better off on your own or in isolation. Rather
the wolf eats the sheep that wanders off from the flock and the
shaytaan overpowers those who are solitary and do not have helpers to
help them obey their Lord or supporters who will support them against
the shaytaan and his troops. Even if you find some annoyance in mixing
with people, that mixing, if you bear it with patience, is still
better than not mixing. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) praised the one who mixes with people and bears their
annoyance with patience.
It was narrated that Ibn 'Umar said: The Messenger of Allaah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "The believer who
mixeswith people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a
greater reward than the one who does not mix with people and does not
put up with their annoyance." Narrated byal-Tirmidhi (5207) and Ibn
Maajah (4032).
Moreover, there is no reason for your isolationand you do not have --
as far as we can see -- any justification for which we would encourage
you to remain like that. We feel that any isolation which results in
you not praying jumu'ah for prayers in congregation is not acceptable
and wedo not encourage it.
Some of the reasons for isolation include total corruption of people,
lack of people to supportyou in adhering to the truth, each person
admiring his own opinion, and lack of benefit in sincerely advising
people. By Allah's grace, none of these are applicable in Muslim
societies or even in kaafir societies. We have heard of thousandsof
kuffaar who are entering the religion of Allah all the time, and we
hear of others like them, sinners who have begun to follow the pathof
guidance. Indeed we find that people are thirsting for those who will
quench their thirst and they are hungry for those who will feed them,
in spiritual terms of goodness and guidance.
As for your justification for isolation, namely shar'i knowledge, we
donot think this is the case.You are preferring isolation to the kind
of mixing that is obligatory, so if you are neglecting Islamic
dutiesbecause of this isolation of yours, what kind of sha'i knowledge
do you have so that we could tell you to keep away from people and
focus on obeying your Lord and preserving your religious commitment?
Hence Abu Sulaymaan al-Khattaabi (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:Isolation only benefits scholars and wise men, but it is the most
harmful of things for theignorant. And he narrated from Ibraaheem that
he said to Mugheerah: Acquire deep understanding of Islam, then you
can isolate yourself.
See: al-'Azlah by al-Khattaabi, p. 225
Thirdly:
As you have written to us -- and we appreciate that -- this means that
you are still holding on to a thread and the beginning of the right
way to bring you out of this fatal loneliness. You have entered the
world of the Internet, which is millions of times greater than your
small world that you have forsaken. In this vast world there is far
more evil than in your forsaken world. So beware of that, for how much
temptation it has caused to righteous people and how much evil it has
caused to righteous and chaste women.
Strive to do the acts of worship which Allah has enjoined on you,
first and foremost among which is praying in congregation in the
mosque. In the answer to question number 120 you will find the
evidence for this duty. You also have to earn permissible income so
asto protect your dignity and spare you from having to ask of people,
and so that you can honour your parents and take care of them and help
them to buy what they need or help them to get to the placesthey want
to go, and uphold ties of kinship with your family and relatives.
You should remember that this world will never be free of hardships,
worries and distress. If you want a place where there is none of these
things, with complete happinessand ease, a good life and the pleasure
of Allah, then you will find that in the Paradise of Allah in the
Hereafter. Sostrive for that Day and rid yourself of that which may
cause you distress in this world by reducing your involvement in it;
ask Allah to help you to attain that, and remember that isolating
oneself is nothing more than being alone with the Shaytaan, and it
will only bring you more worries and distress. Do you not see that the
punishment of imprisonment is painful for the free man, and the worst
form of it is solitary confinement? Sohow can you prefer for yourself
that which prisoners would sacrificethat which is most dear to them in
order to escape?
We ask Allah to guide you to the truth and to help you to follow the
path of the righteous among His slaves; were itnot for the fact that
Allahdecreed that they shouldmix with people and establish acts of
worship, we and you would not have known Islam or had the honour of
belonging to it. So become one of the troops of Islam, wield your
weapon in the face of your shaytaan and make up for what you have
missed by striving hard and doing acts of worship on a solid basis.
And Allah is the source ofstrength.

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Social Problems - He said to his fiancée: If you conceal anything from me, you will be haraam to me after marriage.

My fiancé knows that I was in a relationship with someone else before
I met him, and the other person is his friend. There took place
between me and this person some things which did not go as far as
major immorality, but they are haraam. Now I have repented and I ask
Allaah to forgive me.
The problem is that my fiancé is not sure about what happened in the
past with his friend, and he has heard some of hisfriends say bad
things about me and that this friend has told them what took place
between us. My fiancé made me swear to him that I would tell him
everything that happened and he himself swore that I would be haraam
to himafter marriage if I concealed anything fromhim or told a lie. I
swore with the Mushaf in my hand and inside the mosque and upon the
Qur'aan that I would be haraam to him if I concealed anything fromhim,
but in fact I did conceal what happened to me in the past. Please note
that I am going to get married soon, if Allaah wills, and I am afraid.
Am I sinning withregard to him, knowing that he always tells me that
he will never forgive me and will never be pleased with me before
Allaah if I conceal anything from him. What should I do, may Allaah
reward you with good?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The fiancé or husband has no right to ask abouthis wife's past. It is
sufficient for him that she is righteous and is known for good at the
time of marrying her, and there is nothing wrong with her religious
commitment orchastity. As to whether she did anything haraamin the
past, but then repented from it and became righteous, it is wrong to
ask her about that and make her choose between telling lies or getting
divorced, or make her tell her secrets and disclose that which Allaah
had concealed for her, then if she tells him the truth, that opens the
door to doubt and suspicion.
What some people call for, of each spouse being frank with the other
and telling them of things in the past thatAllaah has concealed, is
wrong and ignorant. Rather they should be pleased that Allaah has
concealed it and they should praise Allaah for it.
Secondly:
A wife or fiancée is not obliged to tell us what happened in the past
that Allaah has concealed. Rather she must conceal herself, because
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: "Avoid
this filth that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever does any such thing,
then let him conceal it with the concealment of Allaah." (Narrated by
al-Bayhaqi; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah
al-Saheehah, no. 663).
And Muslim (2590) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased
with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Allaah does not conceal a person in this world but Allaah will
conceal him on the Day of Resurrection."
If her husband or fiancé persists in asking, then she may use a double
entendre, such as saying:Nothing happened between me and that man --
meaning that nothing happened todayor yesterday, because she is
enjoined to conceal it and there is no interest to be served in
telling him. So it is prescribed for her to usea double entrendre, and
in fact some scholars said that it is permissibleto tell a lie in that
case. For more details on that please see the answer toquestion number
83093 .
Based on that, we hope that there will be no sin on you because of the
liethat you told, although itwould have been better to use a double
entendre.
Thirdly:
If a man says to his fiancée: You will be haraam to me after the
wedding if you concealed anything fromme, then she conceals something
from him, shewill not be divorced and no zihaar will take
place,because divorce and zihaar can only take place after marriage,
and the fiancé is saying this before the marriage contract has taken
place.So no divorce or zihaar takes place.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It should
be noted that divorce can only take place after marriage, because it
is the dissolution of the marriage bond. So before marriage there is
no divorce. Even if a mansays to a woman: If I marry you, then you are
divorced, then he marries her, she is not divorced. Or if a man's wife
said to him: I heard that you want to take a second wife and I do
notagree to that, and she put pressure on him, andhe said to her: Will
you be pleased if I say that if I marry a woman, she is divorced? And
she said: I am pleased with that, then he said it and did not get
married, and if he did get married she would not be divorced, because
that took place before the marriage. Endquote from al-Sharh al-Mumti'
(13/7).
We ask Allaah to accept your repentance and to set your affairs straight.
And Allaah knows best.

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Islamic Stories - Army of Elephants

The following incident ismentioned in Surah Feel of the Holy Quran and
it happened during the period of the birth-year of Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him). Abraha Al-Ashram was the governor of Yemen on
behalf of the king of Ethiopia. He (Abrahah) thought to build a
house(like the Kabah at Makkah) in Sana (the capital of Yemen) and
call the Arabs to performthe pilgrimage there in Sana instead of the
Kabah in Makkah, with the intention of diverting the trade and
benefits from Makkah to Yemen. He presented his idea to the king of
Ethiopia who agreed to it. So the house (church) was built and he
named it Al-Qullais; there was no church of its like at that time.
Then a man from the Quraish tribe ofMakkah came there and was
infuriated by it, so he relieved his nature (stools and urine) in it,
soiled its walls and went away. When Abrahah Al-Ashram saw that, he
could not control his anger and raised an army to invade Makkah and
demolish the Kabah.He had in that army thirteen elephants and amongst
them was an elephant called Mahmud which was the biggest of them. So
that army proceeded and none amongst the Arab tribes that faced them
(fought against them) but was killed and defeated, till itapproached
near Makkah. Then there tookplace negotiations between Abrahah
Al-Ashram and the chief of Makkah (Abdul Muttalib bin Hashim, the
grandfather of the Prophet), and it was concluded that Abrahah would
restore the camels of Abdul Muttalib which he had taken away, and then
he (Abrahah) would decide himself as regards the Kabah. Abdul Muttalib
ordered the men of Makkah to evacuate the city and go to the top of
the mountains along with their wives and children in case some harm
should come to them from the invading oppressors. Then that army moved
towards Makkah till they reached valley Muhassir. While the army was
marching towards Makkah, in the middle of the valley, suddenly it was
overtaken by flocks of birds, flocks after flocks, air-raiding that
army with small stones slightlybigger than a lentil seed.There never
fell a stone on a soldier except it dissolved his flesh and burst it
into pieces. So they perished with a total destruction. Abrahah
Al-Ashram fled away while his flesh wasbursting into pieces till he
died on the way (back to Yemen). Such was the victory bestowed by
Allah, (the All-Majestic, All-Powerful) to the people of Makkah and
such was the protection provided by Him for His House (Kabah in
Makkah).
Source: Extracted from Tafsir of Surah Feel (Surah 105)

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Islamic Stories - A World of Smile

About ten years ago when I was an undergraduate in college, I was
working as an intern at my University's Museum of Natural History. One
day while working at the cash register in the gift shop, I saw an
elderly couple come in with a little girl in a wheelchair.
As I looked closer at this girl, I saw that she was kind of perched on
her chair. I then realized she had no arms or legs, just a head, neck
and torso. She was wearing a little white dress with red polka dots.
As the couple wheeled her up to me I was looking down at the register.
I turned my head toward the girl and gave her a wink. As Itook the
money from her grandparents, I looked back at the girl, who was giving
me the cutest, largest smile I have ever seen. All of a sudden her
handicap was gone and all I saw was this beautiful girl, whose smile
just melted me and almost instantly gave me a completely new sense of
what life isall about. She took me from a poor, unhappy college
student and brought me into her world; a world of smiles, love and
warmth.
That was ten years ago. I'm a successful business person now and
whenever I get down and think about the troubles of the world, I think
about that little girl and the remarkable lesson about life that
shetaught me.

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