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Monday, June 10, 2013

- Social Problems - Advice and guidelines for someone who cannot mix with people and prefers to stay homealone.

I cannot bear to mix with people and I prefer to be alone. I feel that
I am in a state of distress when I mix with others. The Messenger
(blessingsand peace of Allah be upon him) commanded us to pray in the
mosque. What should I do? I would rather not pray than pray in the
mosque.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The situation you are in does not only have to dowith praying in the
mosque, rather it has to do with other duties which require you to go
out of the house, such asupholding ties of kinship, earning money so
that you can live, seeking knowledge, enjoining what is good,
forbidding what is evil, and so on.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The fact of the matter is that mixing may sometimes be obligatoryor
mustahabb. An individual may be enjoined to mix with others sometimes
and toremain alone sometimes.That depends on the purpose. If mixing
with others is for the purposeof cooperating in righteousness and
piety, then it is enjoined; but ifit is for the purpose of cooperating
in sin and transgression, then it is forbidden. Mixing with Muslims is
a kind of worship, as in the case of the five daily prayers, Jumu'ah,
Eid, eclipse prayers, prayers for rain and so on. This is something
that Allah andHis Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
have enjoined. The same applies to mixing with them on Hajj and when
fighting the kuffaar and rebels, even if the leaders of that are
evildoers and even if there are some evildoersamong the people
involved.
The same applies to being involved in gatherings that increase a
person's faith, either because he benefits from these gatherings orhe
can benefit others, and so on.
Majmoo' al-Fataawa, 10/425
Thus you can see that the way you are is something that is not
pleasing to the Lord of the Worlds, and you have to look again at
thesituation and realise thatwhat you are doing is a trick from the
shaytaan who is making your situation and your bad deed look good to
you. Beware of him and his tricks, and get ready to fight him, and
trust that your Lord will help you by granting victory against him.
Secondly:
If you feel distress when mixing with people, then we can be certain
that you will never be better off on your own or in isolation. Rather
the wolf eats the sheep that wanders off from the flock and the
shaytaan overpowers those who are solitary and do not have helpers to
help them obey their Lord or supporters who will support them against
the shaytaan and his troops. Even if you find some annoyance in mixing
with people, that mixing, if you bear it with patience, is still
better than not mixing. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) praised the one who mixes with people and bears their
annoyance with patience.
It was narrated that Ibn 'Umar said: The Messenger of Allaah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "The believer who
mixeswith people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a
greater reward than the one who does not mix with people and does not
put up with their annoyance." Narrated byal-Tirmidhi (5207) and Ibn
Maajah (4032).
Moreover, there is no reason for your isolationand you do not have --
as far as we can see -- any justification for which we would encourage
you to remain like that. We feel that any isolation which results in
you not praying jumu'ah for prayers in congregation is not acceptable
and wedo not encourage it.
Some of the reasons for isolation include total corruption of people,
lack of people to supportyou in adhering to the truth, each person
admiring his own opinion, and lack of benefit in sincerely advising
people. By Allah's grace, none of these are applicable in Muslim
societies or even in kaafir societies. We have heard of thousandsof
kuffaar who are entering the religion of Allah all the time, and we
hear of others like them, sinners who have begun to follow the pathof
guidance. Indeed we find that people are thirsting for those who will
quench their thirst and they are hungry for those who will feed them,
in spiritual terms of goodness and guidance.
As for your justification for isolation, namely shar'i knowledge, we
donot think this is the case.You are preferring isolation to the kind
of mixing that is obligatory, so if you are neglecting Islamic
dutiesbecause of this isolation of yours, what kind of sha'i knowledge
do you have so that we could tell you to keep away from people and
focus on obeying your Lord and preserving your religious commitment?
Hence Abu Sulaymaan al-Khattaabi (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:Isolation only benefits scholars and wise men, but it is the most
harmful of things for theignorant. And he narrated from Ibraaheem that
he said to Mugheerah: Acquire deep understanding of Islam, then you
can isolate yourself.
See: al-'Azlah by al-Khattaabi, p. 225
Thirdly:
As you have written to us -- and we appreciate that -- this means that
you are still holding on to a thread and the beginning of the right
way to bring you out of this fatal loneliness. You have entered the
world of the Internet, which is millions of times greater than your
small world that you have forsaken. In this vast world there is far
more evil than in your forsaken world. So beware of that, for how much
temptation it has caused to righteous people and how much evil it has
caused to righteous and chaste women.
Strive to do the acts of worship which Allah has enjoined on you,
first and foremost among which is praying in congregation in the
mosque. In the answer to question number 120 you will find the
evidence for this duty. You also have to earn permissible income so
asto protect your dignity and spare you from having to ask of people,
and so that you can honour your parents and take care of them and help
them to buy what they need or help them to get to the placesthey want
to go, and uphold ties of kinship with your family and relatives.
You should remember that this world will never be free of hardships,
worries and distress. If you want a place where there is none of these
things, with complete happinessand ease, a good life and the pleasure
of Allah, then you will find that in the Paradise of Allah in the
Hereafter. Sostrive for that Day and rid yourself of that which may
cause you distress in this world by reducing your involvement in it;
ask Allah to help you to attain that, and remember that isolating
oneself is nothing more than being alone with the Shaytaan, and it
will only bring you more worries and distress. Do you not see that the
punishment of imprisonment is painful for the free man, and the worst
form of it is solitary confinement? Sohow can you prefer for yourself
that which prisoners would sacrificethat which is most dear to them in
order to escape?
We ask Allah to guide you to the truth and to help you to follow the
path of the righteous among His slaves; were itnot for the fact that
Allahdecreed that they shouldmix with people and establish acts of
worship, we and you would not have known Islam or had the honour of
belonging to it. So become one of the troops of Islam, wield your
weapon in the face of your shaytaan and make up for what you have
missed by striving hard and doing acts of worship on a solid basis.
And Allah is the source ofstrength.

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