The Virtue of Nurturing Girls - I

This article in its two parts, Allaah willing, will be about a
righteous good deed, and whoever performs it perfectly, according to
its required conditions, will attain three things:
First : he will be veiled from Hell and never enter it.
Second : on the Day of the Greatest Terror, (i.e. the Day of
Judgment), he will be gathered inthe company of the Prophet .
Third : Paradise will be guaranteed for him, where he will be in the
company of the Prophet .
What an excellent and great reward this is! This great reward, O
believers, requires that certain conditions be fulfilled perfectly.
What is this deed and what are its conditions?
I say, seeking the help of Allaah The Exalted, that it is to take
careof girls, being in charge of them and looking after their affairs
andinterests. That is the position of our religion with the woman whom
it honors, maintains, and guards; it encourages men to enter Paradise
and receive great rewards should they take care of her and guard her.
How great the favors of Allaah The Almighty are on the daughters of
Eve and how sad that some people show ingratitude and deny them!
The Prophet said in an authentic Hadeeth on the authority of the
Mother of the Believers 'Aa'ishah : "Whichever (people) are tried by
any of them (girls), and he treats them kindly, they will screen him
from the fire (of Hell)." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
He further said: "Whoever has three girls and is patient with them and
clothes them from what he has, they will veil him from the fire (of
Hell)."
That is the first reward that you, O slave of Allaah, would receive
for that work, which is to be screened and veiled from the fire of
Hell, and whoever is drawn away from the fire and admitted to Paradise
has indeed attained his desire.
May Allaah make us all among those who attain that reward!
Concerning the second reward, which is to be gathered in the company
of the Prophet it was narrated on the authority of Anas that he said,
"The Messenger of Allaah said: 'Whoever looks after two girls until
they attain the age of maturity, would come on the Dayof Judgment with
me and him being (as close to each other) as these (and he joined his
fingers).'" [Muslim]
As for the third reward, then consider the following texts:
It was narrated on the authority of Jaabir that the Prophet said:
"'Whoever has three daughters whom he gives refuge to, provides for
and shows mercyto, Paradise is certainly guaranteed for him." A man
asked, "And (for) two, O Messenger of Allaah?" He replied: "And also
(for the one who has) two (daughters)." [Ahmad] [Al-Bukhaari in
Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]
It was narrated on the authority of Abu Sa'eed that the Prophet said:
"No one has three or two daughters or sisters, and he fears Allaah
regarding them and is kind to them, except that he will enter
Paradise."
It was narrated on the authority of Anas that he said, "The Messenger
of Allaah said: 'Whoever has two daughters or sisters to whom he is
kind as long as they are with him, he andI will be in Paradise (as
close to each other) as these (and then heput two of his fingers
together).'"
What a great reward this is! And, what an excellent position this is!
However, such great rewards have heavy qualifications and various
objectives that must be realized by great striving and patience.
What are these conditions and restrictions?
All the conditions are included in his (the Prophet's ) saying: "And
he is kind to them."
To be kind to girls in such a way as to befit the Sharee'ah is the
all-inclusive condition and the greatest qualification. The narrations
previously mentioned came to explicate and clarify in detail this
general reference. The Prophet said: "…Whom he gives refuge to,
provides for and shows mercy to."
Al-Haafith said, "All these terms are included under the term "Ihsaan"
(to be kind)."
What is the meaning of giving refuge to them? What is intendedby
providing for them? And, how should we show mercy to them?
Giving refuge has three facets:
First: Giving her refuge with a good righteous mother, to be an
example for her to follow. The first stage of giving refuge to girls
is to keep them with a righteous pious chaste mother tomaintain and
guard them. Have you not heard the advice of the Prophet : "Then,
succeed (by choosing) the religious woman lest you would lose (good)"?
Second: Giving her refuge in her boudoir, inside her house, which is
to teach her to abide in her house and not to come out unless there is
a necessity, an urgent need or an act of worship.In other words: "To
attend the goodness and supplications of Muslims."
That is the significance of the statement of Allaah The Almighty(which
means): {And abide in your houses.} [Quran 33:33]
Allaah The Almighty commands women to abide in their houses, for it is
more suitable to screen them and guard their lives.
(To be continued) - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

Controlling Anger: An Essential Skill for Educators - II

Keep your energy for construction not destruction:
If a person does not control himself in critical situations and
surrenders to the dictates of anger and strong agitation, he will find
himself consuming an enormous quantity of his inner energy, which is
supposed to be exploited in the process of construction, education,
teaching, constructive dialogue, developing the skills of the children
and enjoying a quiet everyday life. This kind of life is full of
worshiping Allaah The Almighty, reciting the Quran, good companionship
inside the family, helping people and even removing harmful objects
from the road.
Come and take the following steps towards anger management:
- Always remind yourself that uncontrollable anger is one of the
features of weakness in the upbringing process, whereas curbing and
managing anger as well as acting fairly with the children while in
this state, represents the apex of the strength and positivity of the
person who assumes the upbringing process and it is a meritorious
quality distinguishing the righteous slaves of Allaah The Almighty. It
was narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Prophet said:
"There is no dose that is more rewarded by Allaah The Almighty than a
dose of anger that a slave restrains for His sake." [Ibn Maajah]
[Al-Albaani: Saheeh]
- At the moment of anger when you feel that an ember is burninginside
you, start counting from one to ten before uttering any word and ask
yourself this question, "What should I say nowto make my child benefit
from this situation?"
- Review the situation that sparked your anger because of your child
and rethink the motives behind such acts. For instance, your child
spilled a cup of milk on his clothes during breakfast because he was
trying to be independent and he did notintend to annoy you. Your
agitation in this situation prevents him from trying to do this again
successfully.
- Express what you feel to your child while you are angry and address
him with strong words that take him to a higher level of behavior,
which you were expecting of him. An angry father, for example, may
say,"Son, I was angry about your misbehavior yesterday when you came
home late. I was expecting you to be aware of the proper time when you
should return home which I previously set for you."
- Use the method of neglect and temporary desertion. You might not
talk with your child for long hours or answer his questions with
lengthy speech. Show no concern for him till the blaze of anger dies
down, taking into account the level of strictness in doing so. Surely,
you will realize that this method is very fruitful inguiding the child
compared to the other methods that you might resort to when you are
angry.
- Remember that lowering your voice while talking to children helps
you feel less angry and demonstrates your ability to control yourself
and control them. If the child sees that you have lost control of your
temper, this portrays you as a weak person, and he will imitate your
weakness or take advantage of it.
- You can use written messages to express your refusal of some of your
children's requests or behavior. This is an efficient way that can be
used with all people; like spouses, friends and children.That is
because we think more wisely, analytically, and rationally when we
write than when we improvise decisions, judgments and reprimands.
Also, agitation cannot be conveyed through writing as clearly as
through speaking. By doing so, you will certainly notice that the
intensity of our anger and the anger of ourchildren will decrease.
- Seek the help of Allaah The Almighty in carrying out your decisions
and always remember the advice of the Prophet "Do not get angry." Use
the methods that the Prophet instructed us to do in order to resist
anger, such as making ablution, taking abath, changing one's position
from standing to sitting and from sitting to lying down, and
frequently seeking refuge with Allaah The Almighty from the accursed
Satan.
Finally, whoever is assuming the upbringing process, remember the following:
Successful management of one's agitation and anger is real strength.
The Prophet taught us, saying: "A strong person is not the one who
overpowers others; rather, a strong person is the one who controls
himself at the time of anger." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
It also means caring for others, looking for right solutions to change
the children's unacceptable behavior, and determination to succeed in
your upbringing duty without severingthe strong bonds which connect
you together.
Raging anger remains a negative and destructive force in which the
child's response comes out artificial and temporary because it
occurred due to fear or the desire to assuage anger and its
consequences. It does not change the reality of the child for the
better, but often aggravates it.
Now, start immediately and decide that: "From now on, therewill be no
more violence or angerwith our children – Allaah willing." - -
▓███▓ Translator:-> http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

Controlling Anger: An Essential Skill for Educators - I

A US TV channel presented a series on the views of children onthe way
in which their parents discipline them. The channel hosted some
intelligent children who are able to articulate their views clearly
and strongly every week, and in doing so, they would ask them a set of
questions.
In one of the episodes, a mother listened to her child on the
television expressing his views and notes, and talking about the issue
of disciplining. The mother was greatly astonished when sheheard what
her son had said. Thereason will be shown in this dialogue that took
place betweenthe mother and her son when he returned home.
Mother: Have I ever cut any amount of your daily pocket money as a punishment?
Son: No.
Mother: Have I ever confined you in your room all day?
Son: No.
Mother: Have I ever told you that Iwill stop you from playing because
you are a naughty child?
Son: No.
Mother: So, why did you claim that I had done all these things with
you on television?
Son: I had to say all these things; otherwise, I would have had to say
that you yell at me every day!
Dear readers and people responsible for the upbringing process,
Perhaps this scene is often repeated in many homes – unchecked anger
explodes, resulting in furious outbursts, throwing insults and
name-calling. And who is the target of all these things? It is the
nearest and dearest person to your heart – your child!
Does the responsibility of raising children cause a psychological
crisis for the people who are responsible for it?
In the absence of positive programming of behavior and parenting
attitudes towards the disruptive, inappropriate and unacceptable
behavior of their children, caregivers may resort toactions and
reactions that are associated with anger and tension, and these are
usually negative and destructive. Thus, our Prophet warned us against
acting in the state of anger and ordered us to do things that remove
it and reduce its intensity. That is because at such times, a person
may often act rashly.
What is anger?
Linguistically, anger is the opposite of satisfaction and – according
to Ibn 'Arafah – it is a state in the hearts of human beings which is
praiseworthy sometimes and dispraised at other times. The praiseworthy
type of anger is that which happens to support religion and the truth
in the context of correction and reforming. Beyondthese contexts,
anger becomes dispraised.
What happens when you becomeangry?
Agitation sparks involuntary reactions, which irritate the nerves,
move the emotions, suspend thinking, make one lose his balance and it
increases the heart rate, blood pressure and the flow of blood to the
brain. The organs are disturbed and thisclearly shows on the person's
features – his color changes, he trembles, his limbs shake, he is not
in his normal moderate mood, his appearance becomes ugly, and he
behaves in a mannerthat is beyond his normal boundaries. If the person
does not restrain himself, his tongue will utter foul words and
insults and his hand will stretch out to beat and commit violence.
During angry outbursts, one's heart rate accelerates per minuteto
double the quantity of the blood flow that the heart pumps or that
which runs in the blood vessels with each pulse. This causes high
blood pressure and increases the secretion of adrenaline.
Should we lose our temper whenever our children make a mistake? How
can we bring themup successfully knowing that thisstage is
characterized by making mistakes; since they lack knowledge and
experience in many of their life affairs and are supposed to be living
under their parents' guidance and care? Therefore, whoever is
responsiblefor the upbringing process must learn the art of anger
management, because controlling one's temper has a significant impact
on controlling the behavior of your children. If you keep yourself
calm and manage to get through the difficult situations without
agitating your anger, your communication with your children will be
more effective and your punishment will be more efficient.
Therefore, we invite you to manage your anger, not to cancelit. The
Prophet recommendedus to avoid anger, and at the same time he praised
the one who becomes angry when the rules of Sharee'ah (Islamic
legislation) are violated. He made this prohibition only to warn
against the negative effects of anger and forbade us from negative
anger. It is possible thatman's anger and agitation turn to positive
qualities should he properly manage and control them. We do not mean
to cancel it altogether because angry feelings are the source of power
and interaction, and represent the sign of his concern about his
religion and values. These feelings help man protect his
life,religion, honor and property.
Concerning the upbringing process, if parents and people who assume
the responsibility of raising children do not become angry about the
unacceptable behavior of their children, this will be a sign of the
passivity of the educator and his lack of responsibility. It also
shows his incorrect estimation of the Hereafter-related results of
negligence in raising the children.
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who have believed,
protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people
and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they
do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are
commanded.} [Quran 66:6] The Prophet said: "Allaah will question every
caretaker concerning those whom He put under his care whether he had
borne the responsibility or neglected it." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
- - ▓███▓ Translator:-> http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

- fasting, - Fasting lasts until the sun sets and is not assome of the Shi’ah say.

I am asking about the topic of fasting and breaking the fast. I was
speaking to my neighbours who follow the Shi'i madhhab, and they
recited to me a verse of Qur'aan which says that fasting is from the
time of the white thread until night, and itis not until sunset only.
This is what they said to me. I hope that you can advise me, may Allah
reward you with the best of rewards.
Praise be to Allaah.
The time of fasting on which the Muslims are unanimously agreed
andwhich they have followed from the time of the Prophet (blessingsand
peace of Allah be upon him) and his Companions until the present day
is from the break of the true dawn until when the disk of the sun
disappears completely beneath the horizon. This is indicatedby the
Qur'aan and Sunnah and definitive consensus of the Muslims.
Allah says (interpretationof the meaning): "then complete your Sawm
(fast) till the nightfall [al-layl]" [al-Baqarah 2:187]. Al-layl
[translatedhere as nightfall] in the language of the Arabs starts when
the sun sets.
It says in al-Qamoos al-Muheet (1364): al-Layl:from the setting of the
sun until the break of the true dawn or sunrise. End quote.
It says in Lisaan al-'Arab (11/607): al-Layl: comes straight after the
end of al-Nahaar (day), and starts when the sun sets. End quote.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his
commentary on this verse:
The words of Allah "thencomplete your Sawm (fast) till the nightfall"
imply that breaking the fast at the moment of sunset is a shar'i rule.
End quote.
Tafseer al-Qur'aan al-'Azeem, 1/517
In fact some commentators have pointed out that the use of the
preposition ila (till) in this verse also implies hastening, because
that prepositionindicates reaching the end and achieving the goal.
Al-'Allaamah al-Taahir ibn 'Ashoor (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Ila al-layl (till the nightfall) means until one achieves that goal
and reaches the night, and the preposition ila ischosen to indicate
that one should hasten to break the fast when the sun sets, because
the preposition ila means that the purpose is achieved then, unlike
the preposition hatta (until). What is meant here is to indicate that
the fast is completed when the night begins. End quote.
Al-Tahreer wa'l-Tanweer, 1/181
All of that is supported by what is narrated in al-Saheehayn from
Ameer al-Mu'mineen 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with
him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "When the night comes from here and the day departs
from here, and the sun sets, then it is time for the fasting person to
break his fast."Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1954) and Muslim (1100).
In this hadeeth the coming of night from the east and the
disappearance of the disk of the sun below the horizon are mentioned
together, which is something that is well known, because darkness
starts from the East as soon as the light of the sun disappears below
the horizon. Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The phrase "when night comes from here" meansfrom the east, and what
is meant is when darkness becomes discernible. In this hadeeth he
mentioned three things, because even though they are interconnected in
fact, they may appear not to be connected, and it may be thought that
night is coming from theeast when it has not yet come, because
something is covering the light of the sun; the same is also true of
the departure of day. Hence it is clarified by the words "and the sun
sets", as an indication that it is essential to confirm that night has
come and day has gone, and that these events occur because of the
setting of the sun and not for any other reason.End quote.
Fath al-Baari, 4/196
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The scholars said: each of these three things implies the other two
and is interconnected with them. Rather he mentioned them together
because a person may be in a valley and the like in such a way that he
cannot see the setting ofthe sun, so he relies on the coming of
darkness and the disappearing of daylight. End quote.
Sharh Muslim, 7/209
Al-Bukhaari (1955) and Muslim (1101) narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn Abi
Awfa (may Allah be pleased with him) said: We were with the Messenger
of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) on a journey and
he was fasting. When the sun set, he said to one of thepeople: O So
and so, get up and make saweeq forus (mix it with water so that we can
drink it). He said O Messenger of Allah, why not wait till the
evening? He said: Dismount and make saweeq for us. He said: OMessenger
of Allah, why not wait till the evening?He said: Dismount and make
saweeq for us. He said: It is still day. He said: Dismount and
makesaweeq for us. So he dismounted and made saweeq for them, and the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) drank it, thenhe
said: When you see that night has come from here, then let the fasting
person break his fast.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This hadeeth indicates that it is mustahabb to hasten to break the
fast and that it is not permissible to refrain from eating and
drinking for any part of the night at all; rather assoon as it is
established that the sun has set, it is permissible to break the fast.
End quote.
Fath al-Baari, 4/197.
Moreover, the fact that there is consensus among the Muslims regarding
breaking the fast and eating as soon as one hears the muezzin give the
call to Maghrib prayer when the sun disappears is evidence that this
is the truth and the one who goes against that is following something
other than the way of the believers and has introduced something into
the religion for which he has no proof or reports from the scholars.
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Maghrib comes immediately after the sun has set, and this is something
on which there is consensus. Something concerning this was narrated
from the Shi'ah to which no attention should be paidand which has no
basis. End quote.
Sharh Muslim, 5/136
In fact, in many of the books of the Shi'ah it mentions that on which
there is consensus among the Muslims concerning this matter. Some of
them narrated from Ja'far al-Saadiq (may Allah have mercy on him) that
he said: "When the sun sets, it becomes permissible to break the fast
and it becomes obligatory to offer the prayer." End quote.
Al-Baroojardi narrated from the author of al-Da'aa'im that he said: We
narrated from Ahl al-Bayt -- may the blessings of Allah be upon them
all -- that there was consensus concerning that which we learned from
the reports from them, that the onset of night whichmakes it
permissible for the fasting person to break the fast is the
disappearance of the sun beneath the westernhorizon without any
barrier which would prevent seeing it such asa mountain or wall and
the like. When the disk disappears beneath the horizon, then the night
has begun and it is permissible to break the fast. End quote.
Jaami' Ahaadeeth al-Shi'ah, 9/165
To sum up: what are some of the Shi'ah do now, of delaying Maghrib
prayer and the breaking of the fast untilsometime after the sun has
set is contrary to what is indicated by the Holy Qur'aan, the
saheehSunnah of the Prophet and the consensus of theMuslims.
Moreover it is contrary to what they themselves narrated from their Imams!
And Allah knows best. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -