Fatwa - , Her husband spends on his well off ..

Question
Respacted Scholar, My husband spending his sister family because her
husband is ill.But they have money too.Is it his right to spend on
them? Jzakkallah hair.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
, is His Slave and Messenger.
The money that your husband possesses is his own money and he has the
right to dispose of it as he wishes provided this is in what is
permissible. So, if he wants to keep ties with one of his kinship with
this money, he may do sowhether or not his relative has money. For
more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83470 .
However, the wife has the right to ask her husband about her right if
he is negligent about it, but she has no right to object to him
spending on one of his relatives. Rather, if she urges him to do so,
it would be better for her because this will make her husband love her
and esteem her as she helps him in being kind and dutiful to his
family members and keeping ties with his kinship.
Allaah Knows best.

Women section -, A ‘New Look’ for the Spirit

'New look' is a widespread term today. It is mainly concerned with the
outward appearance and how to change it.
However, it seldom refers to deeds and actions which enable both the
woman and the man to create a new look for their lives by viewing life
from a new perspective. Renewing the appearance is desirable and
important; however, it should be done in a positive way. We need anew
look for the spirit first to cast splendor and light on the outward
appearance.
Actors' Innovation
Marwah Muhammad Ahmad, a translator, says, "Change is a basic feature
in man's life, for permanence is only for Allaah TheExalted. Hence,
man always tries to make changes in his life, including his
appearance. Change of appearance has usually been known as 'fashion',
which differs from one year to another. Today, however, a new name and
style of change, which is called the 'New Look', has emerged. It was
originally invented by actors and artists. It seems to express their
desire to combat boredom and renew their youth, as they say. Tothem,
this New Look means a change in the color of hair and hairstyle, the
color of complexionas well as the style of dressing." She further
said, "Nowadays, the youth are afflicted with blind imitation and seek
to have a new character through the New Look that is restricted to
external change. I do not know how the external change can have a
significant effect on life. It is the internal change that lasts and
is more beneficial. Hence, the concept of a New Look should be viewed
differently in a way that makes the change related, for example, to
one's lifestyle and way of treating others."
Saamiyah Sayyid, a working woman, says, "The New Look has spread
widely among artists recently. There is an artist who is over sixty
years old but looks as ifhe were only twenty. This is, of course, only
in his appearance as the organs of the body experience no renovation,
for Allaah The Exalted wants man to experience that stage, and this is
the norm of life. Man should enjoy every stage of his life within the
limits of what Allaah The Almighty destined for him of childhood,
youth and old age."
The Need for Renewal
Sawsan Bahaa', a BA in Instantaneous Translation, says that the
definition of 'New Look' is to have a new appearance. In this context,
renewing one's appearance is desirable and preferred from time to
time.
As mankind is keen on possessing new things, he is also happy to renew
and change his feelings from sadness to happiness and to experience
different feelings when shifting from one stage of life to another.It
is like his feeling whenever he undergoes a new experience, meets new
people or visits new places. Thus, renewal is considered a permanent
and necessary need for every person to drive him/her forward. However,
some people may exaggerate in seeking a new lookor a new appearance.
The desire for renewal may prompt one to seek an eye-catching
appearance even if this appearance contradicts the general taste or
customs of the society or even the teachings of one's religion.
This reveals the importance of caution and wisdom when choosing new
things to avoid thediminution of one's credit of esteem and admiration
in people's eyes, which might be caused by an unrestrained pursuit of
new things. Caution and wisdom also help one maintain the features
which distinguish his character. Therefore, there must be balance
between one's desire and what he has to achieve of the noble
objectives which please him when he fulfills them.
Heba Salaah, a university lecturer,confirms that the New Look is a
widespread phenomenon that focuses on one's outward appearance, and
that is why scholars of religion must be consulted first whether this
is lawful or not before changing one's shape and appearance.
'Ula 'Abdul-Ghani 'Ali, a government employee, says, "There is
something that has a close meaning to the New Look; which is changing
one's features by having cosmetic surgery whichgives the person a new
appearance and features like changing the size of the nose or the
mouth. The other, more distant, meaning of the New Look refers to the
person's direction towards new thought that springs from the person
himself as he wants to change his character with respect to his views
and principles in life. Sometimes, one's views change when he leaves
his place of residence and meets new people with whom he did not deal
before. One may experience somecrises which polish his character and
make it stronger and firmer.
"However, many people do not prefer to make outward changes in their
appearance. They prefer to keep the appearance with which Allaah The
Almighty created them. Also, it is difficult to change the character
of some people regardless of the external effects to which they are
exposed."
Huda Muhammad, a physician, says this phenomenon of changing ones
appearance, "The normal person is satisfied with the shape and outward
appearance which Allaah The Almighty has granted him, and he praises
Allaah The Exalted for that, especially if he is not disabled and
enjoys good physical health. Some people's raging desire to change
their outward appearance is abnormal.However, those who suffered
severe burns, for example, which led to the deformation of the skin of
their body or their face, can have cosmetic surgery to maintain their
psychological health and be able to face societyand deal with those
around themeasily and without embarrassment."
'Imaad Ad-Deen Zaghlool, a chemist, states, "If the New Look means
changing and renewing one's outward appearance and imitating the West
in this regard in a way that does not suit our customs and traditions,
then thisis to be rejected. However, if it is an attempt to change and
develop man to what is better, whether in his appearance or character,
or if it aims at developing his skills, then it is to be accepted. If
the New Look occurs in a way that suits our society, it will be
beneficial in combating boredom and will lead man to develop his
characterand skills. It is important and necessary for a person to
renew his thinking in a way that enableshim to serve his religion and
country."
Saarah Ramadhaan, a 10 th grade student, says, "Change has to be in
man's character, acts and behavior by shifting his behavior to what is
better in dealing with others, and by changing himself from
selfishness and egoism to altruism, love of others and wishing
goodness for them."
'Ali Mahmood and Ahmad 'Aadel stress the necessity of having a New
Look in marital life. It shouldnot run monotonously, especiallyafter
few years of marriage whenthe wife needs to make even a simple change
in her appearance inside the house. She should takecare of her hair
and grace as well as her way of dealing with her husband. The spouses'
burdens and responsibilities increase withthe years of marriage and as
theyhave children, and this necessitates change and renewal whether in
shape or by visiting new places. Also, the husband has to treat his
wife kindly and help her. He should also change his lifestyle with her
so that their life will continue without monotony and will continue in
calmness and renewal.

Two paths, two aims, but what kind of friend?

Have We not given him two eyes…and shown him the two highways
(Surat al-Balad; 8,10)
All human beings seek a true friend . They look for people to share
their happiness with, who willsupport them in times oftrouble, who
will show them solutions when they can find none, who will love them
unconditionally, be loyalto them, protect them, treat their errors
gently, and who will not abandon them when they are ill, in the same
way that they will not abandon them when they are healthy, or when
they grow old.
However, a person has two ways of finding such a friend. One of these
is the way of the Compassionate One, a requirement of Qur'anic moral
values and the path chosen by believerswho seek solely the approval of
Allah. The other is the way of friends who seek to serve only their
worldly interests, a path based on advantage. In this article, in
which we lookat the reasons underlying these two states of affairs, we
reveal clear differences between the powerful bonds in relationships
between believers and relationships between non-believers based onlyon
worldly gain.
Friendship that attaches importance to moral values: In order to be a
true friend , a person must love someone else solely for their proper
moral values . These are a person's fear and love of Allah, faith,
sincerity and takwa . Only friendships built upon these values are
permanent. The friendship of people with such elevated moral values
achieves anunshakeable nature.
A never-ending friendship: There can be no doubt that the true friend
that everyone feels the need for and seeks is a great blessing. A true
friend is someone who will be there for a person in good times and
bad, who unconditionally wishes the same for his friend as he wishes
for himself, who wants him to be at least as happy and as well as he
wishes himselfto be. He is someone who avoids such emotions as
jealousy, intolerance and rivalry, who loves the other party sincerely
and always wants the best for him.
A friendship aimed at the Hereafter: The precondition for being atrue
friend is to aim for the other party's happiness in this world and in
the Hereafter. One important attribute of such a friendship is
speaking honestly and openly, telling the other party of any
deficiencies of faith, and affectionately showing him ways by which
thesecan be remedied. Only a true friend who truly loves the other
person can behave in this way.
A friendship based on love and respect: In an environment where people
live by Qur'anic morality, fear of and faith in Allah are values
whereby people can truly feel love and respect for one another. The
love, trust and loyalty that believers feelfor one another is shaped
totally in accordance with the endeavors they make onthe path of
Allah. A believer who uses all he possesses for good in order to gain
the approval of Allah, who presses forward undeterred on that
path,will obtain the love of his Muslim brothers and set an excellent
example to them. The powerful loyalty between them will increase the
love, devotion and trust they feel towards one another. Therefore, if
friendship and closeness are built on people's fear of and faith in
Allah and on proper moral values, then physical alterations due to
sickness or age will haveabsolutely no effect on them. On the
contrary, even greater affection and compassion will be felt for the
believer.
A friendship based on honesty: Sincerity means a person being the
sameon the inside as on the outside, an external reflection of what he
feels and experiences in his heart. It means beingsincere, open and
straightforward, revealing one's true character without hiding one's
real thoughts and feelings, not engaging in calculating behavior or
trying to appear different to how one really is. According to Qur'anic
moral values, a person is worthy to the extent of his honesty, and his
friends and loved ones love him because they know that he is sincere
towards them.
Your friend is only Allah and His Messenger and those who believe:
thosewho perform prayer andgive the alms, and bow. (Surat Al-Ma'ida;
55)
A friendship condemned to loneliness: Despite all their longing,
people who fail to take the moral values of the Qur'an as their guide
cannever find a true friend. That is why one frequently finds them
saying such things as "I am very lonely," "I don't have a single
friend in the world," or "They have left me all alone, sothey were
just fair weather friends."
A friendship based on prestige and rank: The friendships that some
people build on the basis of such values as wealth, beauty,
prestige,rank or social status are never long-lasting. Because as
soon as thereis a change in these values on which it is based, that
friendship comes to an end. For example, someone possessed of such
moral values who adopts a friend because that person is very
attractive and impressive will immediately lose all interest in them
the moment they become unrecognizably flawed, needy and helpless as
the result of an accident.
A friendship based on rivalry: People who are competitive and regard
others as rivals generallyonly tell others of their mistakes when they
have to. Because they are generally unwilling for others to be better
than them, or even if they see their flaws, theystill behave
insincerely out of a fear that this could damage their friendship, and
so say things like "You are a very good person," or "We love you just
the way you are."
A friendship based on self-interest: People wholive according to their
own self-interest experience many psychological ups and downs during
the courseof their lives. They may lose their attractiveness, youth,
health, possessions and wealth. They see that people they once
imagined to be their friends attach no value to them when they become
old and frail. These people, who were very close and swore undying
loyalty toone another in happier times, become so distantas not to
speak to or even recognize one another. They see that they have no-one
to share a problem with, toadvise them, whom they can ask for help
from or place their trust in. They realize that even the people they
described as my closest friend put their own interests above their
friendship.
A friendship dominated by insecurity: It is impossible for people who
do not live by the moral values of the Qur'an to feel true love,
respect or trust towards one another in the knowledge of each other's
moral failings. It is impossible to truly love and respect someone if
one knows that they lie and are false and hypocritical and if one sees
that they use other people for their own advantage. A person will be
aware that although this individual may say that he is their closest
friend, he actually behaves in exactly the same way towards him as
well.
The Day when a wrongdoer will bite his hands and say, 'Alas for me! If
only I had gone the way of the Messenger!'
'Alas for me! If only I had not taken so-and-so for a friend!'
'He led me astray from the Reminder after it came to me.' Satan always
leaves man in thelurch.
(Surat Al-Furqan; 27-29)

Love of Allah bestows great spiritual strength

Believers feel a close love for and closeness to Allah in order to win
His approval, and they take Him as their close friend and guide. They
are devoted to Almighty Allah with a great loyaltyand close bond.
Their aims, endeavors and prayers are solely directed toward winning
Allah's approval. This effort, intended toward winning the love and
approval of Almighty Allah bestows, by Allah's leave, great spiritual
strength on believers, that unbelievers can never posse ss .
With their devotion to Allah, deep fear and powerful love of Him, the
prophets are role models for all Muslims. They properly discharged the
duty to preach that our Lord Allah bestowed on them and called on
people to adopt fine moral values, commanding what is good and
forbidding what is evil. One of the many characteristics thatbestow
superiority on the prophets is their powerful, humble and determined
attitude in the face of violence and oppression. Muslims whotak e the
prophets as role models also come tonotice in their societies in which
they live, with their rational thinking and behavior, their powerful
characters and sincere language and their noble appearance. Like the
prophets, they never fall prey to fear or sorrow in the face of
events, regard everything as being for the best and constantly call on
those around them to behave well. They remember Allah a great deal,
know that Allah, their only friend, creates everything that happens,
unhesitatingly spurn all of satan's empty promises, by Allah's leave,
and pay no heed to the transitory attractions of this world.These
superior attributesof believers also endow them with spiritual
strength.
People who are ignorantof and do not live by the moral values of the
Qur'an may be amazed at the way, the result of their spiritual
strength, that believers are never distracted by the deceptive baubles
of thisworld, never fall prey to panic and sorrow, never fear and
always maintain their moderation. The way that true believers always
live happy and placid lives, despite being subjected to oppression and
violence by unbelievers, and evenbeing threatened with exile,
imprisonment and even death by them, is something that unbelievers can
never understand.
Submission to Almighty Allah Increases Believers'Strength
The Messengers praised for their exemplary lives in the Qur'an, and
the believers who accompanied them faced very difficult situations
that superficially appeard to be very "tough events." However, these
highly virtuous believers behaved with complete security and
submission in the face of everythingthat befell them and acted in the
knowledge that it was Almighty Allah Who created everything that
happened, for which reason, everything was in fact all for the best.
As revealed in the verse, '...Say: 'Allah is enough for me. All those
who truly trust put their trust in Him. ' (Surat az-Zumar,38),
believers, who are certain that Almighty Allah will never leave them
without help or inflict a heavier burden on them than they can bear,
and who hope for paradise as a reward for their troubles, have always
submitted to Allah under all circumstances. By Allah's leave, this has
made them strong in the face of all events.
However, submission to Allah does not mean, as some people imagine,
keeping oneself outside the sphere of events. On the contrary,
according to the moral values of the Qur'an, a believer assumes all
kinds of responsibility. He knows that it is Allah Who causes him to
do what he does and that the control of his own existence is in
Allah's hands, and that he achieves all his aims as a representative
of our Lord. A believer who has submitted to Allah is surethat Allah
will never leave him without help, will never impose a heavier burden
than he can bear and will eventually reward him with paradise. The
resultis the strongest person in the world, who fear nothing and
nobody apart from our Almighty Lord Allah. The strength possessed, by
Allah's leave, by believers who live by the maturity of faith bestowed
by love of and submission to Allah, is described thus in the Qur'an:
They say, 'If we return toMadina, the mightier will drive out the
inferior.' But all might belongs to Allah and to His Messenger and the
believers. But the hypocrites do not know this. (Surat al-Munafiqun,
8)
Muslims Live Placid Lives,Despite the Threats and Oppression from Unbelievers
The way that Muslims subjected to intense pressure from some sections
of society for espousing moral virtues and recommending these to
people continueto worship and display excellent moral values despite
all this oppression is a clear signof their devotion to Allah. This is
very definite behavior that cannot be imitated. It is behavior unique
to believers who fear Allah.
Unbelievers wonder about the reasons why Muslims, who regard
everything created by Allah as good, are so happy, but they can never
understand it and are never able to experience even the smallest
fraction of this joy and contentment. Nomatter how much they try to
find happiness they can never attain true contentment. But believers
experience a natural joy and happiness, rejoice in the hope of the
paradise promised by Allah, and delight in the faith bestowed on them
by Allah. They are in a constant state of happiness that comes from
being able to see the signs of Almighty Allah, hoping to be the
brothers of the prophetsand everyone with fear of Allah in the
Hereafter, living under Allah's protection and many other reasons.
Faith is anincomparable blessing bestowed by Allah. The person upon
whom Allahbestows faith enjoys a huge blessing from Him.
The Spiritual Strength of Muslims Inspires Fear in Unbelievers
Almighty Allah reveals in verses that Muslims must never fall prey to
despairand defeatism in the face of threats from unbelievers and the
other difficulties they encounter:
Those to whom people said, 'The people have gathered against you,
sofear them.' But that merely increased their belief and they said,
'Allah is enough for us and the Best of Guardians.' (Surat al-Imr'an,
173)
In the same way that unbelievers are astonished by the way that
Muslims remain devoted to Allah no matter what befalls them and
maintain their self-confidence, determination and innerpeace, these
things also inspire fear in them. Thisis a form of behavior with which
they are completely unfamiliar. They are people who can despair in the
face of even the slightest difficulty and give up when anything at all
goes wrong.
They never realize that faith is the source of thisspiritual power
possessed by believers, and are always terrified by the determination
they see in them. Allah reveals in verses the fearthat unbelievers
feel in the face of believers' powerful faith and character:
"like panicked donkeys, fleeing from a lion." (Surat al-Mudaththir, 50-51)
Truths of Faith That Influence Believers' Acquisition of Spiritual Strength
Believers are people who make earning Allah's approval the purpose of
their lives and who strive to that end with all their might. Their
excellent knowledge of and sincere faith in the moral values of the
Qur'an are highly influential in believers' acquisition of spiritual
strength. Some of these truths of faith are as follows:
Believers know that;
Allah is omniscient,
Allah is infinitely just,
Allah creates everythingthat happens on Earth, both great and small,
Allah is infinitely compassionate, loving and forgiving,
Allah will respond to all prayers in the finest manner,
Allah will send divine aid to His servants when they are troubled or afflicted,
Submitting to our Lord, the infinitely wise, just, compassionate,
loving and helpful, is thus a great source of comfort,
Allah has created destiny in a flawless manner and that even if they
returned to Earth thousands of times over they would still undergo the
same destiny, unaltered, and that destiny is created in the most
auspicious form forbelievers,
Allah creates everythingthat happens with great wisdom and for the
best for believers, and that
Good and evil come from Allah alone and that human beings have no
power to work any good or harm of their own.
It must not be forgotten that, as revealed in the verse " But those
who were sure that they were going to meet Allah said, 'How many a
small force has triumphed over a much greater one by Allah's
permission! Allah is with the steadfast " (Surat al-Baqara, 249) even
if few people have this faith and love of Allah, they will still
overcome much larger communities and acquire much strength of will.
From Mr. Adnan Oktar's live interview on Ekin TV (February 16, 2009)
Difficulties are an opportunity for believers to express their love of Allah
ADNAN OKTAR : Anyone who strives on the path of Allah follows in the
footsteps of the prophets. Every believer goes through what the
prophets have gone through. If the Prophet Joseph (as) went to prison,
so do believers. Ifthe Prophet Moses (as) was watched and observed,
believers will be watched and observed. If the Prophet Job (as)
suffered problems and afflictions,then troubles and afflictions will
be visited on believers. Those who cast the Prophet Abraham (as) into
the flames for opposing the idols may try to do the same thing to
believers who strive on the path of Allah. This is a major opportunity
for the believer to express his love of Allah. It is an expression of
love of Allah. There have to be troubles and difficulties in order for
love of Allah to be emphasized. Because love of Allah cannot be
emphasized by sitting comfortably in one's chair. That is why
believers regard such things as blessings from Allah. Scourges will
pour down on believers like rain, in accordance with their fear and
depth. Butthey regard these as blessings. Troubles increase their
radiance, enthusiasm and fervor, and endow them with health.
Afflictions beautify believers. Troubles made the Prophet Joseph (as)
so lovely. Allah made troubles His instrument in this. He enchanted
women and everyone who saw him. People regard afflictions as things
that wear one down. But troubles suffered on the path of Allah make
one healthy and do away with problems. They make one more joyful, more
attractive and longer-lived. Ease and well-being bring with them
sickness and scourges, and they makeone evil and ugly. Failureto
strive on the path of Allah, not walking on thepath shown by Him and
avoiding troubles has always attracted various scourges. Such people
always fall apart, collapse, wrestle with sickness and are drowned in
a sea of troubles. Allah does not bestow peace and ease in that way.
Such peoplealways have suffering and trouble in their hearts. For a
believer to enter a difficult environment is like entering paradise.
For example, going to prisonis like going to paradise for a believer.
Because Allah rewards every day spent on His path many, many times
over. For example, if a believer earns one piece of merit for a day
spent on the outside, he will earn a million pieces for a day spent in
prison. They is why it is so acceptable and believers are so keen on
it …

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